Greetings and Salutations! My name is Delon Shah. I am best known for being a Poetress, and a Scribe for the Lord, a Teacher of His Word and a Seer-Prophet for His purpose.
All pieces of work here are related to the Gospel and are inspired by the Holy Spirit. It's to educate, inform, and draw all people unto Him.
Featuring Prophetess Juanita Bynum
In 2004 God was dealing with me about a lot of areas in my life. By the time 2005 rolled around the Holy Spirit began to reveal to me who I was in Christ and what my destiny entailed. Because of this information the gates of hell started to prevail against me. I bust a move like Elijah and the Spirit of the living God came and found me and told me to read this book, but not where I was, wait until I got back to where I belonged. This book changed my spiritual life and everything began to make sense once again. I began to regain my identity, authority and voice. By 2006 I was on my way to where God wanted me to be, but not without a fight. This book is not for those who got milk, its strictly for carnivores. Feast well!!!
After a series of starts and stops my public ministry finally got started, but even before I could begin to enjoy it, the enemy hit me so hard I thought I'd never recover and begin to doubt my call. Today, Milkshake and Blogspot are my platforms and ministering to women and their families are still my mission and my passion. Read my book Pillars online at Smashwords because that's how I made it over. Thank you for being my audience!!!
God's power and authority being made manifest in my life.
God wanted me to overcome my past so that He could bless me. He told me that what others used to curse me, He'd turn it around and use it to bless me.
When God has a plan for your life, your enemies can't stop it, and your enemies are the means by which some of those blessings will certainly flow!
My calling was discovered in 1985 but announced by the 90s and doubled, confirmed in 2005. The mandate was given to me in 2006. I had to learn how to walk with my mantle.
Everything that I wrote or said I not only had to immediately walkout, I was responsible and accountable for every word that came out of my mouth so I was warned to watch it because now, I had power working in me to make it come to pass. Life and death is in the power of the tongue and mintinstering to the people God gave me power to live and to help set others free including myself.
The Holy Spirit was teaching and training me on how to carry, protect and nurture this anointing I call Tiffany and keep myself not just humble because of the mantle but speaking for myself,, I had to watch out for being too selflessness or too selfish because it was a thin line.
Imagine having the Holy Spirit not just be your comforter, or your best friend, but raising you up like a mother and a father after your parents have passed on.
So the unfortunate traumatic events that actually happened to me and my family was of no surprise to God, just to me. He informed me that it didn't come as a punishment, nor to judgement but instead to make me a stronger person who will persevere. He would show me a more excellent way of living from the impossible to the possible.
So this wasn't just about me, it wasn't because my mother ignored me,, it wasn't because I was molested, and it wasn't drug related either. The devil is always lying even when he calls himself telling the truth.
I finally gave myself permission to be human and to be a woman.
Right now I don't have a following, and I know that people will come and go. But God will add daily. The people whose cries He has responded to will sooner or later recognize their help that's coming from the Lord just like I did. I hope you enjoyed my message.
Shalom.
I started believing in Jeremiah 29:11 when I discovered it in 2000. At that time that scripture became more important to me than any other since Proverbs 3:5-6.
My teens and twenties was marked and devastated by mental illness, suicide attempts, loss and grief, family estrangement, domestic violence, sexual assault and substance abuse.
Whether I was back in church or back in the world, everything that took place in or around me, good or bad became a learning experience or an opportunity to make sense of my life, bring balance and peace and just minister through my writings.
Today after retiring from that long journey of finding me, reclaiming me, and keeping me safe and sound I learned many things. The main thing that stands out the most is, I am here for a reason.
Calling on the name of Jesus is still a resting place, a strong tower and a battle axe. My love for the things of God and His people were being restored, the blood of Jesus was still prevailing and God is still an on time God, on His throne never sleeping or slumbering!!!
Now I have been out of the loop for awhile. This was the longest I have ever been away from the church community, but this time it was not because of the wretched state I was in, this time it was because of the wretched state the church waa and still is in. Body of Christ let's get it together!!!
My prayer life is a bit shaky but I can still get a prayer through and will excell. We all know that when God says move you move. Besides, it's the prayers like Jabez and Nehemiah that changes things in an instant, and before you know it, a new thing has come to pass.
I personally don't think I'm ready to get behind a pulpit or run a woman's group without a partner or some team members yet, but He knows more than I do, I'm not in a hurry nor am I star struck, I know ministry is not glitz and glamor it is denying self and dying to self, daily.
So as I continue on with my journey and you with yours, let's keep in touch from time to time.
Selah
There are season when we pray and believe God for some things and are often caught off guard between our camp meetings and the manifestations of our travail.
Sometimes God reveals something to you about your future and you don't even realize what you will have to endure to get to that promise or your destiny.
When God is looking for someone to volunteer for specific assignments or when He has already set you apart and established you for a work in the vineyard it is never what you think it is going to be.
What we do is not for your entertainment and we are not celebrities. Doesn't matter if your ministry is major or minor, in the church or another organization or institution, or where you are located at in the Body of Christ.
Being chosen before conception and called at a later date in life can leave you having mixed feelings and a funny attitude. I always thought my ministry would be different than the one I'm being trained in. I thought I'd have a husband and it would've started at least in my 30s while I was finishing my degree. Instead it was inconsistent, inconvenient and in my 50s. I hope I gave someone food for thought, its not easy dining at just anybody else's table much less digesting the meal.
TO BE CONTINUED
A simple place created with grand a place made for You and Me, beauty and splendor at hand and in a moment you shall see.
No other place like this in the world that you will ever find, and this is where our courtship begins if you will just find the time.
Share intimate moments alone just us two if you would only allow Me to pitch woo
I will love, you protect you, hold you all night, honor you, adore you, and always treat you right
Won't lie to you, steal from you, block or hinder your dreams, would never raise my hand to hurt the one in whom I do believe
So come on and put your hope in Me this time for sure to bring, the rainbow to your limitless skies and bless you with My ring!
When I found out about generational blessings and curses I immediately wanted to apply the blessings and avoid the curses.
Coming from a family with limited information about my background and history I felt like I hadn't given much thought to my ancestry. I was the baby of the family and didn't think those things were important until I started to have a family of my own.
I remember my parents always saying to me, "When you have children of your own, you'll know and understand what we're trying to tell you."
By the time I started having a family of my own it was not like I had pictured it. I found myself uneducated, unmarried, living on welfare and later on depended on alcohol and drugs.
One day my life is headed in a good direction, clear path and sunny side of the street, next thing you know I'm headed towards a path of destruction and the street is getting shaky and it is getting dark and a man is approaching me smiling but the closer he gets the more sinister is his smile.
After my family endured and survived the foster care system I could never understand how God was going to use me to help other women, but I did recognize that I had to minister heal and deliver myself first because the first family that needed it was gonna be mine.
I knew that my calling had to do with the family but who would listen to a woman who lost custody of her children? And when God sent me a word after the unseen event it sounded like I would win and not lose.
The enemy had done this but what was I going to do about it?
I almost ended up in the foster care system myself when I was a teenager because of problems at home. I grew up hearing horror stories and knew kids who went through the foster care and juvenile systems too.
I remember feeling like a lot of people let me down and getting lost in the shuffle or falling through the cracks, people forget about you, especially family and friends. They count you out, and sooner or later you find yourself doing the same thing. I knew what I was experiencing and what my kids were too, and I was sure that after we were strengthened we could go and strengthen others as well.
I wasn't out to win popularity contests, it didn't matter if people didn't like me, accept me, understand me or welcome me into their circle. I knew what Jesus told us to do when it came to that, shake the dust off your feet.
I had to learn how to apply God's word for every area or situation in my life until it changed. I had to invite the Holy Spirit into every area of my life or "the other guy" would take up that space and rein it instead. If I didn't ask for His help or guidance in situations I would mess it up or the enemy would use it against me.
Things weren't going to be the same and people are always going to be people. Seeing things for what they really were and putting things in their proper perspective was exactly what the Holy Spirit ordered in my life 22 years ago.
Things that I witnessed or experienced didn't shock or surprise God, they shocked and surprised me.
God wasn't going to disappoint me or leave me alone and without! If He still does this for me, why wouldn't He do it for you? His word says He will! It took me a long time to get with the fact that to win I had to lose.
Family is still a very much important ministry and I never thought that losing my family would qualify me for a healing of the family ministry. But the Word of the Lord says to live we have to die. This is the way that the Kingdom of God works.
God wanted a family and He created one. The enemy came along and took God's family from Him but God restored His family back to their rightful place and inheritance and told them the story about what happened, and today I feel like that's exactly what I went through too.
There God goes again using foolish things to baffle the wise, and weak things to shame the strong.
Selah
Something very interesting happend to me one day while I was recovering from an abusive relationship.
I asked God why was that one so hard. He immediately replied that He had to get me to the place where I belonged.
Now I had to get this revelation if I wanted my circumstances to change and finally receive the promises God has for me.
How was I going to do this? I later found out that I had to develop the "eyes of faith".
This man that I had in my life had chosen to hurt me all the while he was doing this he was attending church. I had stop going because the church was acting too much like the world till I couldn't tell the difference anymore.
I understood that we prophecy in part, however I needed an upgrade in the Spirit but once again I was reluctant.
Three years ago I heard someone get a revelation about building a wall of faith. They passed that information on to me. I thought about it for a long time because I myself had developed walls of faith through my own prayer walls that I built years ago which was easy, but how was I going to develop eyes of faith beyond four walls.
If my faith was going to develop further, what did I have to do to make that happen because surely faith without works is dead. How do you "see" faith when its written that it's the evidence of things not seen?
I found myself saying, "I'll believe it when I see it", knowing that the Word of God says just the opposite. Had I been listening to the world more than the Word?
If I didn't get back into alignment with the Spirit of the Living God, and learn to listen to Him that is able to do exceedingly and abundantly, I'm going to be hit. I already been off the path for way too long, I can't afford to get stuck, go back or give in anymore!
How would my faith would grow and expand, by hearing what God is saying, or seeing it?
I can't live without faith. I can't please God without faith. Faith is my new life right now. I'm turning into a Faith Promoter. I literally want to promote faith like when I used to promote other things that were not even like God.
For me to develop my eyes of faith to see what's really going on, I must choose to embrace God's truth and reject the lies of the enemy, and for this reason, I am more than fully persuaded!
Keep it real God's consecrated and anointed ones. He loves us!!!
Coming soon to the Metro Detroit community, My Harley's Heart
In 2022, don't forget to share!
Women at the Well is an organization that has many facets and is growing like a newborn baby. As it grows, I grow with it.
When the Lord gave me opportunities to serve through the years I used to think that whatever I was doing then, I'd be doing all my life, but it was always short term. I couldn't get used to anything or complacent or too familiar with anyone.
Most of this year had a lot to do with the second half of my recovery process. I managed nine months of recovery last year alone, and this year, with some assistance.
I was recovering from offenses, wounds, abuses, traumas and crisis of life. This was work. The damages and injuries that resulted obviously hurt, but so did the healing part.
Yes, the year 2021 suddenly had it's purpose.
Moving forward. Not being stuck or going back to visit or entertain those people or events that tried to end me. Thank God we are on the winning side!
Forgiving them was like forgiving myself. Loving God and my enemies as myself once again. No more love waxing cold.
My words of faith will take me there, starting with giving His Word first place in my life and allowing His peace to guard my heart and guard my mind. I can do absolutely nothing on my own. I tried, for years...it doesn't work.
It was good that I was afflicted and things worked out for my good because the Lord was definitely on my side!
2020 had it's purpose as well. It was part one of processing what happened to me. 2021 was part two of applying the wisdom He pour into me to get through it and move forward in my faith.
This New Year, 2022 is not only double for my trouble but I hear in the Spirit, "government."
As I process this revelation, may the grace and salvation our Lord Jesus Christ keep us whole and aware of the blessings and benefits of belonging to God the Creator. He can do anything but fail.
Be ye encouraged!!!
External link
And we are telling our story. Protection, Provision, Power and Peace.
COMING SOON!!!
I had more experience with singleness, and could identify and relate to it more than I could than when I was married or calling myself being in a relationship.
Seeking spiritual truths, having and applying faith, trust and confidence in God. Trying to stay connected to Him, to His Word. Living in obedience was the hardest thing.
I was always trying to avoid getting off track with the path I was on only to end up doing it anyway.
I mean, who wants to keep getting lost and then try to find your way back home. Or having your Father come and get you over and over and over again.
Embarrassing right?
Unfortunately I continued to experience this for years, in the natural and in the spiritual.
The relationship I was in I was tired of struggling with and trying to define. It is acceptable in the world, but not by God. There where times when I chose single life and times when it chose me.
None of my relationships ever really lasted. The good ones left me longing for more while the bad ones had me never wanting one ever again. I know I'm not alone.
I had to find a way to make peace with living single without "relational sins"and maintain that peace. No compromise.
I never saw or considered the joy, comfort and purpose of a singles ministry when I was younger simply because I thought I knew what I was doing. But what I was doing wasn't working.
When we hold or use a weakness, a vulnerability, or seemingly never-ending struggle against ourselves and others someone has to make a stand, hold that position and learn to become unmoveable and unbreakable.
I know I have experienced both. I have heard so many others say that they weren't moved, they weren't broken, and thats fine praise ye the Lord, but baby listen, that's not my testimony, and once again, I know I am not alone.
God is a wonder and a miracle worker in those fields. I have thrown in my towel only to go back and pick it up again or got a new one.
I was married twice. It wasn't a marriage, it was just a quick ceremony that was performed. We had no relationship with each other. I wanted to be a power couple. I don't know what that was.
This explains why I sometimes struggle with the same desire I always had to be married versus the reality and challenges of learning how to be content with ending up being single after all.
Living a Christ centered, consecrated life is not easy and I do know that most true people of God are taking it seriously as I am.
Sometimes even finding yourself bored or lonely, reaching out to and connecting with others in the church community who are definitely like minded can only help.
I've been told to wait. But I keep asking myself, what am I waiting for? I still expect good things from the Lord and I know He won't disappoint me or leave me hanging and without. Amen!!!
It didn't matter to me anymore about how I got myself into another fine mess. I just wanted to keep pressing on regardless. I've always considered tenacity my middle name.
Everyone in life will have trials and tribulations. Sometimes it's hard for a person to ask for help or accept help because on so many levels, they may be going through so much, they don't want to burden anyone.
I have two thorns in my side and like Paul when he asked the Lord three times to take it from him, if His grace is sufficient for Paul it is certainly sufficient for Delon. Amen.
Mental health issues in my experience has taught me how to turn something that was meant for my demise into something that I can embrace and make work for me instead. I'm Bipolar, and God gave me a measure of grace to carry it. I'm free from the stigma.
The second thorn has a tricky root. I didn't see that one coming. I heard addiction is a pacifier.
I've dealt with my thorns in private and in public and they are nothing to play with, take lightly or be casual about. They are real, they are raw, they can kill or bring about new life.
A new me was birthed from my battles with addiction. I learned a lot about the aspects of what I call a disorder, and I learned a lot about myself and why I ended up using in the first place. I get in depth about it in my book, "Mount Up!"
So for everyone out there who has a thorn, just trust and know that God knows what He is doing. He created and runs this whole universe and knows you by name and your every need.
Hey Beloved, you truly are blessed and highly favored!!!
Whatever opportunities I missed in the past or were taken from me, God was letting me know that He hadn't forgotten about me. He heard me the first time I came to Him about what my enemies had done and what my desires where.
He has been assuring me that He is doing a new thing in my life again right now. I just have to trust Him and pay attention. Three years ago I was told that God was going to reveal Himself to me in a way like never before and after that my struggles, my doubts, my fears and my inadequacies would cease to overtake me.
I desperately wanted my relationship with God to be like it was in the beginning.
I really had been perishing because of a lack of knowledge and I compared my babe in Christ days to today...the enemy certainly did a number on me. I traced my inability to stick and stay based on two things that had developed from that time. A spirit of error and a lack of fellowship.
I cannot answer why I choose the ways that I did at the time and I was so young and inexperienced, but I actually thought I knew what was best for me back then.
I made a conscious decision to trust God in every area of my life except my personal life. I could handle that one on my own. Big mistake. I found myself dating good time Charlie's and trying to have traditional relationships with counterfeits.
Next would be cultivating friendships. I was trying to establish meaningful friendships and sisterhoods with fake friends and backstabbers... it always ended in disaster. They always used or abused me and left me for dead.
It had gotten so bad that I had to cry out to God to teach me the difference between what was real and what was make believe. Who was a friend and who was a foe. That lesson came long and hard and that prayer was 22 years ago...but I got results!
God has brought people into my life who have sown goodness and cultivated authentic kinds of love and relationships and brought things like balance, integrity, loyalty and transparency back to the table.
If I hadn't asked the Lord to teach me about the things that were ruining my life, I don't think I'd be here today. If you wanna get results, seek His face and not just His hand.
Praise the Lord!!!
Maybe God had a different plan for me than I thought. That one part of my life that I was so reluctant to let Him in seemed to be done with now. A spirit of relief came over me. It's funny that the one relationship I invited and involved Him in, was going to be my last relationship.
These are the categories I found. Not suitable, meaning he is not my type, not available, because he is taken already by someone else or something else that keeps his attention, and not interested, being that he is totally into himself or too many other people. Later this might expand but for now this is it. My findings are from real experience over 20 years.
Did God want me to be part of a power couple or did I just want that? What did God want me to do, fly solo?
More importantly, either way, was I going to do it? Would I deny myself something that I had longed for most of my life, or still hold on to the spirit of expectany.
By the time I was in my new church home fourteen years would go by since I had a ministry platform.
That's the longest I ever stayed away. No wonder I was spiritually weak. Did I miss my assignment or did I misunderstand it?
God has released me into a new season this new year and I have a better group of people and better experiences going on in my life than I previously did. Finally a place to belong, feel welcomed and call home. I needed this co ering and fellowship.
God getting me to the place where I belonged was suddenly more important than me trying to get myself back to a place I thought I belonged.
That unhealthy relationship that I was in woke me up. We definitely were unequally yoked. My success depends upon my obedience to God. This year was beginning to reveal it's purpose.
I thought I would have been further along than I am now and I was frustrated, bitter and everything else you can imagine for far too long and Delon needed to understand her assignment.
Right now I am doing just that. I still have my struggles, I still do and say things I'm not supposed to, but I'm realigning my life once again with God's will. Amen!!!
"Set Me Free" may have came out in 2005 but I still rock with it! There are some songs on here that today takes me back. Although every song on here I love, I have a couple of favorites. But the song entitled "You Will Survive" got me through some of the hardest times in my life, while "I Can" reminded me that I really can! Hope you guys revisit "That Place" as the Lord blesses you with "Latter Rain."
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you, I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.
Ezekiel 36:26
He never stops drawing me closer to Him. He never let's me get too far away from Him. He always knows where I am and what will get my attention. He is my El Roi.
When I go to Him in the secret place I pour out everything and I know He will give me a refill everytime, even when I don't feel Him or hear Him. My Jehovah Shammah.
Now I have to learn how to totally depend on Him for an area in my life that I mostly kept Him out of. I recall when I made that decision back in 1986. I didn't know what I was setting myself up for at the time.
One day I was thinking about my love life. I had married a man who did not love me or want to get to know me. I would go on to make that same mistake a couple more times, lucky I ended up getting out of one of them in the nick of time.
I didn't realize that when I didn't let God be involved in my love life, that gave the other guy room to send his counterfeits.
I had to literally unlearn and undo ways of doing things and ways of thinking that I had picked up from the world. I didn't know how to let God be my husband or pick my husband. By the time I started learning this I was approaching my forties.
I trusted God for every area in my life except that one based on the knowledge that the men I found myself in relationships with were only with me when what they really wanted wasn't available.
I didn't know what type of man was good for me or what type of man would be looking for a woman like me. If I dated the way the world dated I'd have a better chance at finding a husband because men were scarce in the sanctuary.
TO BE CONTINUED
I get inspiration from a variety of sources and I inspire others as well.
In 2005 when I was told that I wasn't walking in the authority that God gave me, it was a relief to hear from Him because I had previously been in a situation that the last time I heard from Him, I didn't listen.
Why? Can't really answer that right now but when I do,, I will write about it.. All I know is I messed up big time, and it was time to change all of that.
When I was approaching 2020 I knew that the people, places and things that were not serving any good purpose in my life had to go..
Here I am two years later and I have come such a long way. I am definitely proud of myself and I know my Father is too.
Me-Why was this one so hard?
Holy Spirit-I had to get you to the place where you belong.
This was my divine shift. It happened in 2019, but I sensed it coming in 2014. God wanted me to come back home, but I was reluctant. I didn't have a church home anymore and no platform or audience for the ministry He gave me. I was lost again, unfulfilled, empty, angry, scared, unhappy, you name it.
I was also in another relationship with a man that God did not have for me. Our meeting and association had it's purpose and God saw me through it. He wanted me to get back to what He created me for and now was the time.
This transition required my total cooperation and a certain person out of my life. Now God knew what this person was about and what they were going to do. This person knew it too. I just didn't know it at the time. When the time finally came to be released from the situation and the person, I could literally feel being set free from a state of bondage that I was calling a relationship.
I finally got that person out of my life and during my recovery the cord was cut. I felt like that person had ample time and opportunities to better behave themselves and treat me right but they choose not to and they did that for four years. I also discovered that before those dreadful four years arrived and set in, this person had targeted me to use me and never had any intentions on cultivating a friendship or relationship with me at all.
Later they wanted to come back into my life and make up for their wrong doings. This caused another problem for me.
What was the purpose and why would I want to be entangled again to something and someone who had me in bondage and took me from wholeness, to dysfunction to toxicity, and finally abuse and neglect?
It was one thing to forgive, which definitely wasn't easy but I had to start there, and another thing to recover and move on. But letting your abuser back into your life is like a death wish.
How many times does the enemy attack relationships? How many times has God rescued me and restored my life after a relationship with a man who was more against me than for me?
When was I going to be able to enjoy and benefit from a real friendship or real relationship instead of fake and counterfeit ones? And why were people choosing to be abusers?
What was more disturbing to me wasn't just the choice to abuse me and treat other women he preferred better than he was treating me, but the nerve to want to come back into my life with his "I'll make up for it" speech by now deciding to call himself treating me better because in his words, he discovered that he realized that he really does love me after all and didn't mean to hurt me and didn't want to lose me.
He had to be clinically insane. This was of course typical of abusers in a so called romantic relationship. The man who was supposed to have me covered, instead had me in a state of recovery.
None of us are exempt. Anyone of us can become a target or next unsuspecting victim of any type of con or abuse. Even someone seasoned can be lured.
My healing was tailor-made. These days I pay closer attention to my intuitions no matter what my natural eyes are looking at or what others are telling me. My PTSD is managed well. This lesson was about restoration and God's ability to change my life in any given situation. Loss turns into gain and pain gives birth to a new purpose.
I started feeling better again and loving life again no matter what. I also did something radical. I wouldn't recommend it because it doesn't work for everyone but Ilike revolutionizing my life. Eventually I allowed that person back into my life for a year to resolve some of those pressing matters and worked on some of those unresolved issues. We are actually good friends again.
Today we have peace between us and are on good terms with each other but not involved in each other's lives like we used to be simply because the past belongs in the past and we both want different things.
God has been my Jehovah Gibbor and Promise Keeper throughout that whole encounter and what I experienced has made me someone who can definitely help someone else who may be going through the same thing.
When I was with this person, somewhere along the line, my soul was no longer in its right state or in right relationship with God and neither was this person's and we are both believers. I had to repent, humble myself and pray and be obedient to the will of the Father and it wasn't easy with all that pain. Some things are what they are and other things are something else.
From age 50 to 55 I more than survived that battle and put it behind me and under my feet.
If you know someone whose life was wrecked by a really bad relationship and need a safe and real place to begin healing, I recommend these three books. Healing From Hidden Abuse by Shannon Thomas, The Survivor's Quest by Healing Journey and Whole Again by Jackson MacKenzie.
WE ARE MORE THAN CONQUERORS!!!
Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins...
Isaiah 58:12
Before my next assignment, or move of God, He had to give me a new heart. The second one didn't hold out like first one. This would be number three.
God wanted me to fill in the gap and repair the breach. But at the time this was revealed to me, I didn't know how. Who am I supposed to watch and defend now?
I was told to build a wall of faith like Nehemiah's wall. I thought to myself, God can't use a wounded healer or wounded warrior but He can use someone who is broken, humble and available. I knew that an outpouring would be coming soon.
So the word of the Lord came to Delon like it did to Zerubbabel. "Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit " Says the Lord of Host
Repentence. Reconciliation. Restoration.
Our initial meeting happend so long ago I cannot recall. The next time we'd commune, I'd be a child by then. Your reintroduction into my life would be at seventeen and by eighteen our relationship would begin. I'm fifty-five now. You have done so many marvelous things too!!!
In order for You to take me back to the beginning of our relationship, I would have to experience something that I hadn't experienced before.
I didn't know or understand how to live and reside in You and went off to take care of myself. That's all I knew at that time, and I had gotten good and lousy at it at the same time. You got it all now Lord, all of me.
Restart. Renewal. Revival.
It was 2009 and I thought to myself, If God hasn't changed His mind about me and the ministry He loaned to me then maybe He has a new assignment for me instead. I admit I messed up, but I also knew the situation and circumstances weren't in my favor.
At this point all I knew was that in the spiritual realm I saw my ministry being birthed out of me and I didn't even know I was expecting because I wasn't showing and it came suddenly and without travail.
At the time of this vision I had been out of the church community too long and my flesh had gotten used to too many things. Trying to understand my ministry was a hard study within itself and I had no one to talk to relate to or identify with.
It sounds simple but it's far from it. I know the Holy Spirit was being my teacher and I understand He trusts me with the work but sometimes I don't trust myself. I don't want to make a mistake.
When I was younger, my ministry kept getting high jacked by interruptions or distractions but the last time it was finally taking off, I got displaced and it felt like I was being put away on a shelf or something. In fact my whole life felt like it was starting to fall apart and the rug was taken right from underneath me.
For a long time I couldn't understand this process and wondered if I had heard from God at all.
Now I have a new church home and a team of people who are encouraging and supportive. I have picked my vision back up and I'm ready to rebuild and do the work I was created to do for the Kingdom of God.
At this moment I am seeking a spiritual coach or mentor and soon will be looking for a small team to put together for the projects I've been hoping to release in and around my community in Jesus name.
TO BE CONTINUED
In order to rebuild a better prayer life I made up in my mind to focus on praying for my enemies and those who hurt me.
I was nowhere near the same person I used to be ten or even twenty years ago. I missed some of her some of the time. The first thing I noticed that had changed about her was that she was missing her agape love and had stopped sharing her faith.
The person I had become now was too complacent, cynical, and full of rage with a lower tolerance level for a lot of things she used to could handle. I wondered whatever happened to my thick skin and my eagerness to forgive and forget.
I was not living the purpose filled life I once had and was still longing for. God wanted me to be like Gideon. I had been struggling with fears and doubt and at times running from the responsibilities and accountability that came with the call of God on my life. I easily became the reluctant warrior, focusing too much on my defeats and failures. If God was still going to use me, surely it is too late.
In 2017 the strangest thing happened. I dreamed that I spontaneously gave birth to a manifestation of God and then there was a celebration soon afterwards with so much rejoicing it got even my attention as I tried to figure out what just happened.
Was the Holy Spirit revealing something to me? Was a new ministry about to be birthed out of me?
Five years later I heard someone speak about when the righteous are in authority the people rejoice but when the wicked beareth rule the people mourn. I suddenly remembered the part of the dream when I heard people celebrating. I wondered if they were rejoicing because of something that I may have said and didn't realize it yet.
Whatever is being revealed will come at it's appointed time, but suddenly.
The enemy attacks all the time but especially when you are making your way to the place of transition.
TO BE CONTINUED
Nineteen and a babe in Christ. He showed me that I was like an eagle soaring high in the sky with Him as I talked to Him in my heavenly language.
I will establish you in Strength; this is what He revealed me, fifteen years later at the age of thirty-four. These definitely are two different women God is dealing with.
Taking me back to the beginning of our relationship was what I thought He was referring to.
Delon had things going on inside of her that she did not understand or was aware of, but God knew. Accepting His plans for my life back then and even know had me at a loss for words.
I still had some things I had to deal with myself.
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I took a test. It was called, "What Season Are You In?"
Wilderness, Purging, Growth or Harvest. I realized that for me it was all of the above.
When your ability to continue to mother and single parent your children were interupted and taken, it left you unfulfilled and without purpose or identity. This was part of My plan. It did not just happen because of situations and circumstances. And it was not drug related.
I told you that it didn't come to break you, it came to make you. And what others tried to do to curse you, I would turn it around and use it to bless you.
You are established in My Strength. You walk only in the Authority that I gave you. I never took it back and I never changed My mind.
Now I want you to start executing the Power that you do already possess because of the Blood of Jesus and the working of the Holy Spirit.
You are not done giving birth or mothering. And this time, you won't be doing it alone. I have a partner for you. And no one will be able to come in again and take what doesn't belong to them.
KINGDOM LIVING IS FOR KINGDOM PEOPLE
First things first. Go tell them that I Am still alive.
Was I going to believe what God had just revealed to me after a prayer meet or was I going to be like the people in the book of Mark chapter 16, and carry around grief, unbelief and hardness of heart?
You've got to minister to yourself because you love yourself.
When God tells you to humble yourself that's your cue for "I'm about to do exceedingly and abundantly above all you ask or think, if you work with Me."
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One day, very unexpectedly on my way home from school, I heard a voice of direction. I didn't want to follow it because the place it told me to go was a place I wasn't interested in ever going back to. Later that same day, after an unfortunate chain of events I had no choice. I wasn't sure what was going on but I spoke into the atmosphere with confidence and assurance in my spirit that if it wasn't the voice of God leading me it was alright, because I knew He still had me!
My recovery was turning out better than I expected and what God had in store for me next was just what I needed. It had been 10+ years since I left the church community alone, I wasn't the same person obviously when I came back.
Not many people like to talk about it but I'm so glad that I am hearing more about it these days since I had experienced some of it myself. Spiritual abuse and neglect in the house and Body of Christ is one of the most volatile acts that is continuing to take place today.
It took me a long time to step inside another church after I realized what just happened. After that I remembered feeling like I couldn't tell anyone because they wouldn't believe me. They'd think I was crazy or overreacting.
When I came up with Women @ the Well it was a ministry to myself first, and when I had gotten some strenghth, clarity and peace, it was the Holy Spirit who told me to go forth and show them my scars. At that time my public ministry became known as Beauty for Ashes where I began the church newsletter for the baby ministry I was then in leadership with at the time. Ministry will grow you up faster in the Lord than sitting in a pew because to whom much is given much is required and when you answered that clarion call you said "yes Lord".
Jesus knew and understood all mankind and their hearts. He told Peter what Satan's plans for him were and assured him that regardless of that, He prayed for him that his faith wouldn't fail and that when he was stronger, he should strengthen the other body of Christ's believers.
TO BE CONTINUED
When we get lost we need someone to help us find our way back. If no one is available, we try to find markers or guide posts.
But when we forget who we are, we find ourselves in the weirdest place and around the strangest people, doing the dumbest things. Not at all in our element, sticking out like a sore thumb.
Who are we that God is mindful of us? When I was in yet another mess, God let me know that He got me out of it to get me to a place where I belonged. At the time I wasn't sure about this place but I knew it was better than the place I was at.
Later as things continued to unfold, I began getting the revelation about places in God. I noticed that He didn't say to me that He was bringing me back to a place but bringing me to one, which meant that this was a place I have never been. I had begun to experience things that I never had before so I counted theses seasons and referred to them as my "learning to walk on water seasons" because I never been there before.
I read that cares of this world can lead to disobedience and compromise. I know I certainly had my share of distractions but forgetting who I was or was becoming was really a moment in my life that made me question a lot of things, especially my religious background and spiritual life.
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I used to think that I surrendered and trusted God with every area of my life but one. Now that I think about it, I gave him limited access to the other areas I called myself submitting to.
My life wasn't fully His because I thought I could handle everything and do it all on my own the way I was raised by my parents to be.
I made three mistakes. I stopped listening to my parents. I gave up some of my apostolic beliefs and I lost sight of the woman I wanted to become.
God's plan for my life was better than my own plans and my parents definitely worried about their daughters future.
I was supposed to be a success story but so many times it ended in failure. I was truly at the end of my rope but too hard headed to give up.
TO BE CONTINUED
How could You keep taking me back when all I do is sin
I'd come to You and go back to the world one minute I'm out then I'm in
When will I finally be rooted and grounded am I missing a mystery
I've let You down and everyone else renew a right spirit within me
In my heart are the issues of life destinies not yet fulfilled
through me You speak very strange things and all according to Your will
I don't always know or am I aware of each and every path that I take
no matter what direction I find myself in my heart always seems to break
So in case of emergency I want You to guide me I needed You from the very start
with everything that I say and all that I do Lord restore in me a clean heart
Fears and doubts rooted unreasonably are gone and replaced by a brand new notion
now that You've come and created this heart in me
my destiny is definitely in motion
With a clean heart I can now live again with a new mind and spirit in flight
through love joy peace and harmony I have everything now better in sight
Because of Your care and loving tenderness my heart will beat a new song
and all the days of my life I will dwell with You where I naturally belong
I spent my whole life chasing after one thing or another. My education to get the perfect career, the man to get the perfect family.
It served its purposes. Now that the purposes were completed, it was time to move on. What the enemy meant for evil, God meant it for my good.
God is working but it's feeling like the enemy is running a muck and folks are wreaking havoc too.
The only reason why this one bears the title that I gave it is because although my willingness played a huge part, I certainly had choices in the matter.
I can't take the credit for the work of God's love and forgiveness or His grace and mercy. Truly it endures forever, and I would like to have those gifts and attributes working in and through me again.
These gifts and weapons come from Him for us. I just decided to use them and be a better steward of them. I had hardened my heart a couple of times since becoming a born again believer but bitterness was not very becoming of me and I didn't want to taste of it again.
Before bitterness came from a loss. This time it came by betrayal. What I was experiencing now was the "reminder" of a prayer that I prayed over 20 years ago.
God gets the glory for this one. I know He didn't just let me go through that thing for nothing.
Because I know that He is concerned with everything that concerns me, why wouldn't I invite Him into a place that I had not wanted Him in for years that was based on a mindset from the pits of hell. Making room for Him was the best idea I had in years!!!
I kept reminding myself that God just had to get the glory on this one, and it was going to begin with praise.
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What Was I Doing Here?
Why did I have to go through what I went through? Someone else's choices where threatening what was left of my life and that was not what God wanted for me. It's not what I wanted either. I was too old and too grown for this and had come such a long way. So what am I doing here?
I was trapped in an abusive relationship with a man who later admitted to me that he didn't care about me. What kind of person insist on being in your life and around your family year after year and yet continues to lives a lie with you?
Discovering Places In God
I felt like I was carrying a burden I was given by accident and it wasn't meant for me. The only way that I could be free of this place of bondage was to discover what the Holy Spirit meant when He said, He had to get me to the place where I belonged. Eventually I learned that place was a place in God. A place of prayer.
Covenant
When it was spoken to me and revealed about previous events in my life I got to know the attributes of God in those aspects. This time seemed different.
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Understanding my assignment and knowing that the time is now. Me a revivalist? With my flaws, shortcomings and tendencies. Yes.
I'm picking up where I left off at. I'm smarter and stronger. Trying not to be as reluctant like the Holy Spirit pointed out to me a few years ago.
The spirit and gift of restoration and reconciliation are more precious than you think. If its important to God, it's important to me.
TO BE CONTINUED
What I loved about Dressed to Kill besides the cover was how Rick broke everything down to where even children can understand it.
Fervent hit close to home with the heart of the women of God and how my Jehovah Gibbor teaches us how to fight back the powers of darkness daily.
Rules of Engagement put that military spin on it and made me recognize that the Army of the Lord is truly more than just a song I used to sing in church during testimony service!
I simply love Proverbs 31 because it reminds me of the song by Chaka Kahn, "I'm Every Woman".
As women we are diverse yet similar, holding and owning our own beauty and power within as well as without.
God is very protective over His women whether they are His daughters, wives, friends, whatever relationship you have with Him throughout your life or in this very season.
I have been married, widowed, divorced, and single parent and had alternate relationships and can definitely identify and relate to the Samaritan woman that Jesus made a special trip for.
It took me years to comprehend God as my husband when I was younger. The revelation didn't take until after my second marriage ended and even then I had to learn what that would mean to me.
Could I trust God in this realm of my life? Could He trust me?
Being fully convinced that God still loved me and was not mad or disappointed with me I wondered if my assignment back then was the same or was it a new one. My calling was my calling, my gifts were my gifts, but sometimes assignments change.
Ok so I won't be a part of a power couple, but at least I will have a team, a network of other partnerships in the Body of Christ. That made the burden easier and lighter because I knew I could be a workaholic or exaggerate superhero tendencies at times.
Well my kids are out of the nest and their children safe under their watch...what do I do now?
TO BE CONTINUED
God's suddenlies are very important to me in this season.
"I have declared the former things from the beginning; and they went forth out of my mouth, and I shewed them; I did them suddenly, and they came to pass." Isaiah 48:3
"And Hezekiah rejoiced, and all the people, that God had prepared the people: for the thing was done suddenly. " 2 Chronicles 29:36
STORY COMING SOON!!!
STORY COMING SOON!!!
STORY COMING SOON!!!
You don't have to be in the state you're in. I knew Holy Spirit wanted me to get busy but I was too busy mourning over things I had little or no control over and I was being reluctant because I still had things that I wanted to do that wasn't in God's plan.
I kept saying that I left my ministry simply because I hadn't been able to process what happened. All I do know is that I didn't have the right people in my life to get me were I needed to be so I usually ended up taking my own route until God stepped in to lead me back where I belonged.
Getting off course isn't always your choice alone sometimes you just find yourself there because of other people's choices too.
I recently realized that it's possible that I didn't leave my ministry. I only left the organization that I was operating my gifts in. I had to leave. I couldn't build my organization inside of theirs.
TO BE CONTINUED
OH HEY, FOR BEST VIEWING, YOU'LL NEED TO TURN YOUR PHONE