Saved by the bell.

A notification. An Instagram user convinced me to set my heart on MONAT. I wasted my money, but my split & frizzy hair transformed into silk by February.

May 2021. Didn’t know what to do. Just blessed to survive a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), but I woke up to find all my hair gone. The combo was unbearable, losing and forgetting my identity. Wait, MONAT. MONAT’s Intense Repair Treatment sprung my hair up, it grew far thicker, faster, and healthier. The Unknot Detangler saved lives when wig glue was stuck for weeks. My Brow & Lash Enhancer brought me a different level of confidence overnight.

This injury reintroduced life to me. The thing I said most to myself this year is that anything is possible, cause I make it happen. I can control my journey because MONAT took my eyes away, watch it happen, as we create a new path in our well being. Even when nothing at all can change, MONAT will continue to impress. Don’t believe it’s not there if you can’t see it yet.

See what there is to explore.


First & only clinically tested hair care line in the world. Naturally based products that grow & anchor the hair. My stylist relies on MONAT.


Singles & sets. We’ve expanded to naturally based anti-aging. Most advanced approach to skincare today. Dermatologist & ophthalmologist approved.


Nourish your body directly. MONAT’s proven path to strengthen & protect your inner health. No consultation, but you can find out more on my page.


I’m 18 and get to work from my phone, chase a dream as much as I’d like. Let’s make things happen. Please message me and answer this forum.


Life redefined. I’m glad the rest of the world still doesn’t have to see this. New life. Forever.

This is my simple life. Big but so small. Nothing but so much.

I hit my head, and from the pavement straight up built myself to survive the obstacles of a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). They said I was on my longboard going down a bumpy hill. I don’t remember a thing.

Losing all my memory was everything. So there I was, nothing. With nothing to remember, no worries in the eyes of others, I chose to abide by my injury. Dilute out pain, searching for something, searching for time, searching for those opportunities life presents when you don’t see anything, don’t know anything. So why would anything matter at all?

No time went wasted, I need my future now, I said. I NEED IT now. I need things to be the way things were to feel normal, bring my life. The clock ticks more. Something was churning in me, for some reason I couldn’t let it go. What am I to do without my life? My opportunity to be alive? Vision, see or understand it? Life was re-introduced to me as if I was a newborn at 18.

I worked to not waste one day, minute, second. To learn. If I look away, I might lose track, lose focus, lose hope in the next future. Only if I make my future happen. Only if I make it happen. It’s all in my hands.

Seeing many act like they don’t understand the matrix of life or care about it like I do or had to was intensely frustrating for me, as I was struggling to understand everything in whole. I felt no one could re teach me, re introduce life to me, the right way. Well if no one’s going to teach me to get better, then who is it? There’s nobody here! Nobody listening! Nobody hearing! There’s nobody in this vicinity! Don’t you guys all recognize this one- NO ONE UNDERSTANDS. Nobody, nobody at all, trying as hard as I’m trying to. I’d invest in a bigger, brighter, better future. If nobody can do it, I guess I’ll have to be the one to make things better. Make it BETTER. Make me better. The words wouldn’t leave my head. Nobody thinks I’m that hurt anyways because they can’t see my injury. They think I’m just depressed. No. It’s so much more rage than that. I’ll show you what I can do, soon one day you’ll see yourself rotting inside the way you left me rotting in disease with or without this injury. You’re don’t understand, you just murdered someone. As if it was real. I’m retracting, dying inside. So I owe it all to you. I owe it all to the ones that didn’t try at all. I owe it to my haters. Taught me to be a real one. Bring calmness when nobody else could. Like I could be my own God. I owe it to those. The ones that brought me up. Lifted me up. And those that prayed for me too. The foundation of my life, relative influences… relevant or not.

If you won’t do it, who will? I can if they can…I will.

Watch it happen right before your eyes, right under. Even though I’m 5’2 you got me feeling 6 feet tall. Watch it unveil but don’t you be shocked, you made the present me, you molded her and molded her over again but she won’t negotiate, she will restrain, my tall horse much stronger than the rain, stronger in the rain. You can’t tell me what to do. I’ll take what I must, let you do the rest on your own. I’ve been reborn, I have to be here to reshape me, I have to. No giving up. No bluffing.

It’d be nice to get aid when we need it, but I’m here now for me and that’s ok. Cause everything I did for me was for the best me, it was just good enough. Cause no one else knew what I needed. It’s sad to say, but the majority really can’t figure out my head and it causes us both more harm, anger and fear, my worst state. So I still need things to happen now. Let me change it now. Be the first. No one got my back like me. It’s been for life or death. I got one chance to live on this earth, but I was given 2. What a whirl to be surrounded by life once again, be brought up from the dust, be lost in its wave of beauty again. I can keep the newness. Keep everything, when I have nothing. Bring something. Out of nothing.

The only thing I had to survive.



20 min • 4 servings
Preheat oven to 450°. Chop up 1 cauliflower head into florets, and top with
3 TBS olive oil
1 tsp paprika
3/4 tsp sea salt
1/2 tsp ground cumin
1/4 tsp ground tumeric
1/8 tsp chili powder
Roast for 15-20 minutes. Mix with Chipotle sauce, lemon aioli, or mayo. Or a mix of all. That sounds tastier.



Oct 25th 1:43a 2021
To admit, I’m finally grateful
Been the whole time, met the standard goal
Woke on up, hit what I bought & sold
Work my grind in the mirror, proof of being told
Tune in to they pastry, and the tastry between bowls
Turnin to family, which house get me full
Taste these proportions, like liquor brown and floored
Like tequila y’all, drinkin her classy bold
Villa friends with the white claws, no manners to know
Then why’d I have to remember it all,
drinks up for my score

Splatterin my platters, you a Dodger in the game
C’mon now said the game lives off the audience scream
Somethin keep me in the field, it’s no wasted passion
Security no faster, smell who u been round where u been
Got some decades on me, ain’t gonna say no driving
Tell em I won’t tell no one nothin,
But I’ll tell you everything

By Ava