BEGINNER'S GUIDE TO ONLINE FINDOM AND FEMDOM

Do NOT proceed if you're under 18 years of age.

Disclaimer: I'm not an expert. All of this info is gathered and presented to make setup easier for new dommes. If you have any comments, issues, or discrepancies, please contact January at the methods below.

Getting Started

Establishing Yourself

Create an email (which you'll need to sign up for an age verifying site). Proton Mail is one of the safest options, and is accepted by most platforms. A regular gmail is also fine, and opens up options for GooglePay and other services.

Once you have an email and you're age verified, you can start building a social media presence and gain an audience. The most popular sites for findom and femdom services are Twitter, Reddit, and adult sites such as the ones on the previous page. You can also try sites like Nite Flirt, Chaturbate, or SextPanther (though SP only accepts models above a specific follower count).

Before beginning, I recommend making an account and simply observe other dommes to get an idea of how you want to present yourself and build your brand.

It's also a good idea to invest in a VPN as early as possible. It protects your location and IP address from weirdos (there are lots of them). Surf Shark and Express VPN are two good options, and very user-friendly.

Content

What to Make, What to Post

Get an idea of the content you'd like to post. You don't have to post nude (or even lewd) photos to gain followers. Only post what you're comfortable with, and stay as true to yourself as possible. There's no use in faking a strict domme persona when you naturally lean toward nurturing and caring qualities instead. There's a large audience for all styles, and playing up your natural qualities will make your experience much easier and less draining.

The best way to learn what content to make is to look up a tag for the kink you're interested in, and see what others are posting (ex: findom spit worship). Do NOT, however, outright copy posts and photos. That's a quick way to get mass-blocked and alienate yourself from the community.

We understand that there's only so many ways to say "send me money, subs," but get creative. Stealing a tweet word-for-word is disrespectful and lazy, and your audience will pick up on both immediately.

Instead, pick one of your features you want to play up, pick a specific color and theme all of your content, find something original and make it yours.

Be mindful that sites like ManyVids have strict rules about what content you can host on their site, and exclude a swath of edgeplay. Be careful what you post to avoid account bans. All restrictions are outlined in a sites TOS, or terms of service, which should be available by googling [Site Name] TOS.

Whatever you decide to post, good lighting makes a HUGE difference in photo and video quality. Invest in a ring light, phone tripod, and selfie remote to make your life and your content better.

Sessions, how you deliver content and services, can vary widely. You can do DM-only sessions, voice/phone sessions, video call/video response sessions, findom and femdom games, or sell content. Look around at other dommes menus to get an idea for pricing. Don‘t undersell yourself!

My favorite photo editing apps are Picsart (they have a 50% off student discount for their premium app, but the free version is also excellent) and Photoshop Express. Canva is also useful for making promotional material.

Getting Started

Twitter

Once you have an idea of how you'd like to present yourself, you can look for Engagement Groups (EGs). These are groups hosted by dommes to help boost engagement on each others' posts.

There's a few different types of EGs to join, depending on what kind of engagement you're looking for: likes-only, likes & comments, and rounds.

Likes-only, and likes & comments groups are straightforward. Each will have their own set of rules, usually posted in the profile picture. Rules will include CU, or catch-up time, the timeframe in which you need to like/like & comment all posts before dropping your own. For example, if you want to drop something in the chat at noon, you have to go back and engage with every drop between 6am and noon. It's good to drop an emoji in the chat when you're caught up. Groups will also specify how many posts you're allowed to drop per day or per hour. Some EGs may require you to follow all dommes in the group. They may also have rules about whether or not uncensored nudity is allowed. Most groups do not allow hastags or bluetext (links, emails, etc.)— I'll explain why on the following page.

Rounds groups are retweet-based. The admin of the group checks when the most people in the group are active, and all members drop the allowed amount of posts at the same time, and retweet each other. Rounds groups are typically geared more toward nudity and femdom. Likes and like & comment groups are typically geared toward findom content.

If someone posts something you don't want to engage with (nudity, uncomfy kink, etc.) you can pull from media, or pfm. This just means you go to that person's media section, and like a different tweet. This way, you only engage with what you're comfy with, and that person doesn't get skipped.

Aside from EGs, beware timewasters— subs who ask for too much and send too little, if at all. Be firm in your requirements, whether it's a DM fee or initial tribute before they earn an reply from you. There are subs who will follow instructions and compensate you appropriately. Don't settle for less.

Don't reply to bait tweets. If a sub posts "Looking to get drained immediately," they're lying and get off on the attention. Replying with "approach" or "DM me" hands your power over to the sub, don't fall for it. Any serious sub will approach you first.

Getting Started

Twitter, cont'd

A large part of the internet is working to exclude sex workers from their platforms, so it's important to know how to avoid Twitter bans.

Hashtags are a no— Twitter flags many hashtags as spam, and using them frequently is a quick way to get your account flagged. Instead of hashtags, most dommes simply put keywords below the main part of their tweets.

"Aggressive" words also raise a flag on your account. Consider censoring certain words with asterisks or other letters. For example: l*ser, or lxser to mean "loser."

Twitter is relaxed with their adult content policy compared to most other sites. They do NOT allow adult content or nudity in your profile picture or header, nor do they allow "violent" adult content.

If you're interested in the crackdown on adult content across the internet, search FOSTA/SESTA or the current EARN IT act. You can also email me or DM me for pro-SW orgs and activists to support and to keep yourself informed :^)

Below is a comprehensive read on why and how Twitter shadowbans, how to avoid it, and how to lift it.

Getting Started

Reddit

Another site that's popular with online SWers is Reddit.

Relatively similar, you can use subreddits such as Findompaypigs, Findomfinder, Feetpics, Smellysocks, Feetloversheaven, etc. to build an audience.

If the subreddit isn't exclusive to findom you can put [femdom] or [findom] in the post title.

Most subreddits require their own forms of verification, usually including a photo of yourself holding a piece of paper with your username written out. Below is an example of a verification process.

Kinks

Do your research!

Do extensive research before jumping into ANY kink. Be knowledgable about what services you offer. Sex work isn't easy money, and it's a domme's responsibility to perform kink in a safe and consentual way. (The tenants of BDSM are SSC: safe, sane, and consentual).

Femdom refers to a woman or fem person in a dominant role, almost always associated with BDSM relationships.

Findom, by definition, is a Domme/sub relationship in which a submissive offers gifts and money to a domme. There is no further intimacy inherent in the fetish, though it's often accompanied by other kinks.

Many kinks are self explanitory: foot fetish, body worship, spit worship, humiliation, exposure, ignoring, smoke fetish, etc.

Other common kinks are abbreviated, and may be confusing when you first encounter them. Below are a few examples:
CEI, or cum eating instructions
JOI, or jerk off instructions
TPE, or total power exchange
CBT, or cock and ball torture (a subcategory is ballbusting)
SPH, or small penis humiliation

It's always smart to establish a safe word with your subs. You can also outline a max budget with them before drains/rinses, though some subs enjoy not having a limit. Consent is crucial and sexy.

KINKS

Know the Risks

As with anything, there are controversial kinks, too. The following is a (non-exhaustive) list of taboo kinks:

Raceplay is the use of race as a factor in power dynamics between the domme/sub. One subset is BNWO, which stands for Black New World Order. Raceplay can be empowering for BIPOC dommes. However, it can also turn into fetishization and blatant racism if perfomed by the wrong domme. White dommes should stay away from this one.

Homewrecking. Controversial because of its potential real-life consequences, and the involvement of non-consenting parties (spouse).

Sissification. The term "sissy" has an extensive history of transphobia. This kink is often a way for subs, particularly men or amab people, to explore their gender in a controlled environment. It's been rebranded as feminization/femboys, though this term isn't used as widely yet. Do not perform this kink without understanding and respecting its history. Be sensitive to your sub's relationship to gender.

Dommewrecking. Like homewrecking, but instead targets the sub's relationship with another domme. Also called "sub poaching."

Blackmail. Illegal, though many dommes perform fantasy blackmail. The sub consents and passes over sensitive personal information, though the domme would never use that information for actual blackmail purposes. Both parties are aware of this. It's wise to get written and/or video verification of consent before you perform this kink.

There's a whole list of other taboo kinks— blood play, scat play, CNC or consentual non-consent. These fall under the umbrella of edgeplay. Edgeplay defines anything that challenges SSC, or safe, sane, and consentual. Instead, edgeplay is outlined by RACK, which stands for risk-aware, consentual kink. A step further, PRICK outlines personal responsibility, informed, consentual kink. This emphasizes the responsibility of the domme and sub to be thorough in their understanding of what activities they wish to perform, which may include legal counsel and binding waivers witnessed and notarized by an authorized third party.

Whatever you choose to do, be safe and be smart about it.

Safety

How to Keep Yourself and Your Subs Safe

If you ever venture into realtime or in person SW, it's important to know who you're meeting with. Get a picture of their ID, and a photo of them holding the ID to compare how they look. You can even do a background check on them if they consent. Below is a list of background checking services at a variety of price points.

Let someone else know where you're going, and an approximate timeframe. You can even set up a time frame to call, or an SOS phrase in case you need help.

If you perform realtime femdom sessions, make sure you're well-versed on the kinks you plan on doing. The human body is delicate— be aware of how and where to do impact play, the limits of CBT, and other protocol you need to establish before a session.

You can ALWAYS say no. If a sub crosses a boundary, or requests a kink you aren't comfortable with, say no. You are in control of the situation. Your safety and comfort are non-negotiable.

OH HEY, FOR BEST VIEWING, YOU'LL NEED TO TURN YOUR PHONE