Wait...Who is Cordelia?

Cordelia is an ally for people of all races, ethnicities, nationalities, classes, abilities, sizes, shapes, orientations, & placements along the gender spectrum.

She has a Bachelor’s of Science in Psychology and a Juris Doctor degree, and by day, she is an attorney.  By night, she runs the Instagram titled @codependentrecovery & she hosts the podcast called We Heal Together.  She is a survivor of abuse, and she has taken to the streets to help others heal.

We Heal Together & @codependentrecovery are for people: (1) working on loving themselves, (2) navigating codependency + shame + trauma, (3) surviving emotional abuse + physical abuse + NPD abuse + sexual abuse.  Both provide people tools, knowledge, resources, and recommendations for books/music.  Most importantly, both provide safe spaces for people to heal together, and it highlights stories and commons struggles people are facing.

She has two dogs named Watson & Huckleberry. She loves them more than anything, and they are the best pups in all the land!


This page contains:
(1) my top book recommendations
(2) my break-up playlist
(3) my recommendation for US residents that need help finding affordable counseling.


Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie

Order on Amazon


Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry & Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft

Order on Amazon


Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A Guide and Map for Recovering from Childhood Trauma by Pete Walker

Order on Amazon

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk M.D.

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D.

Order on Amazon

I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t) by Brené Brown

I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Making the Journey from "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough" by Brené Brown

Order on Amazon

Why Won't You Apologize? by Harriet Lerner, Ph.D.

Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner, Ph.D.

Order on Amazon

Rage Becomes Her by Soraya Chemaly

Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women's Anger by Soraya Chemaly

Order on Amazon

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women by Jessica Valenti

Order on Amazon

Unspeakable Things: Sex, Lies and Revolution by Laurie Penny

Order on Amazon

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work  By John M. Gottman, Ph.D. and Nan Silver

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert By John M. Gottman, Ph.D. and Nan Silver

Order On Amazon

The Self-Esteem Workbook by Glenn R. Schiraldi, Ph.D.

Order on Amazon

Breakup + Feel Good Playlist

I made this playlist, and it has helped me get through some tough times. Enjoy!

Listen on Spotify

Affordable Counseling (Open Path)

Assists in finding affordable counseling for US residents. Individual sessions range $30-$60

Visit Website

Self-Healing Resources

Find helpful PDFs + worksheets for your healing.

This page contains 35 different FREE self-healing resources (with links) to things like worksheets for you to work through on your own, feelings wheel, various exercises, & tools for you to use.

Vocabulary of Emotions

-According to Thought Co., emotional vocabulary is “the collection of words you use to express their feelings and reactions to events.”
-Use this PDF to build a better vocabulary to identify your feelings/emotions.

Click for PDF

Gottman’s Feeling Wheel

-Keep handy to improve your emotional vocabulary + practice digging deeper than the “primary” emotions.

Click for Wheel

Lindsay Braman’s emotion-sensation wheel

-I like how she took one step further. She writes, “It’s an adaptation of the “feelings wheel” that many therapists and educators use to help people learn to better recognize and name their emotions- But my take is a little different: the outer circle of this feeling wheel swaps emotion-names for descriptions of the physical sensations that often accompany feeling that feeling.”

Click for Wheel

10 Ways to Rediscover Your Self-Worth

Click for PDF

Tips for Healthy Boundaries

Click for PDF

The Four Agreements

Click for PDF

3 Ways to be Good to Yourself

Click for PDF

Mindfulness in Daily Life

Click for PDF

Gottman’s Sound Relationship House

Click for PDF

Gratitude Journal - Prompts + Templates + Apps

-This provides a great background on what a gratitude journal is, prompts, templates you can use, and apps.

Click for Info

Dr. Kristin Neff’s Self-Compassion Exercises

-8 total exercises you can do on your own.

Click for Exercises

Deep Breathing Exercises

Click for PDF

Thought Log

-Utilize to help change your thoughts.

Click for PDF

Boundaries: Your Circles Worksheet

Click for PDF

Codependency Packet

Click for PDF

Codependency Questionnaire

Click for PDF

Codependent Relationships: Beliefs, Attributes, and Outcomes

Click for PDF

Codependency Worksheet

Click for Worksheet

Core Beliefs Worksheet

Click for PDF

Daily Thought Log Worksheet

Click for PDF

Automatic Thought Record Worksheet

Click for PDF

Assuming the Worst Worksheet

Use this to work on “assuming the worst/predicting the future” cognitive distortions. NOTE: this website makes you read the instructions for at least 60 seconds before it allows you to click to download the PDF.

Click for PDF

Decatastrophizing Worksheet

Decatastrophizing is about exploring the reality and facts of a situation rather than letting yourself be carried away by thoughts of “What If...?”

Click for PDF

Challenging Negative Thoughts Worksheet

Click for PDF

20 Questions to Challenge Negative Thoughts

Click for PDF

Getting Rid of ANTS Worksheet (Automatic Negative Thoughts)

Click for PDF

Facts or Opinions Worksheet

Click for PDF

Positive Replacement Thoughts Worksheet

Click for PDF

Questions for Challenging Thoughts Worksheet

Click for PDF

“I Feel” Statements Worksheet

Click for PDF

Letting Go of Our Self-Definitions Worksheet

Click for PDF

Positive Self-Talk Worksheet

Positive Self-Talk + Coping Thoughts Worksheet

Click for PDF

Sex & Gender Messages

This worksheet helps you unpack where you learned various concepts around sex + gender as a child.

Click for PDF

Help to Talk about Sex with Partner & Figure What You Like Worksheet

This could be used to help you navigate conversations with your partner or figure out what you like.

It covers things like...
-what you want to do.
-what you like sexually.
-if you like toys and lubes.
-what turns you on.
-boundaries (on what should/shouldn’t be said or done)

Click for PDF

Yes, No, Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory Stocklist

You can either use this as a mental self-evaluation tool or talking with a partner as you go through it together.  Lists like this are not finish lines but starting points: for evaluating your own sexuality and/or for deeper conversations with someone else.

Click for PDF

Resources for Survivors

This page contains:
(1) Link to post with resources.
(2) Links to guides relating to abusive relationships (including, warning signs, financial tips, information for undocumented victims of domestic violence, the power/control wheel, how to document abuse, how to create a safety plan, how to help a friend, how to help a stranger)
(3) Links to various organizations to help your situation. It includes the following US based ones: domestic violence organizations, finding local domestic violence shelter, finding low-cost legal services. It also has a link for international survivors.
(4) Links to hotlines (including domestic violence, sexual assault, suicide). Also, includes links to specific hotlines related to the following communities: youth, Native American/Alaskan Native, LGBTQ, transgender.
(5) Link to affordable therapy/counseling (US).
(6) Link to Co-Dependents Anonymous


RESOURCES FOR SURVIVORS!! Be sure to swipe through all 5 pictures.

Post with All Resources

Warning Signs Someone is Being Abused

Click for PDF

Warning Signs/Red Flags - Abusive Relationship

Click for PDF

Financial Tips for Leaving Abusive Relationship

Click for Info

Information for Undocumented Victims of Domestic Violence

Information Here

Power + Control Wheel

Link to wheel

How to Document Abuse

How to Guide

How to Create a Domestic Violence Safety Plan

How to Guide

How to Help a Friend That’s in an Abusive Relationship

Here’s How

How to Help a Stranger

Click for Resource

Domestic Violence Organizations (USA)

Click for Organizations

Find a Local Domestic Violence Shelter

Locate Shelter

Find Low-Cost or Free Legal Services in Your State (USA)

Click for link

International Survivors

Click for Info

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Available 24/7 for chat & calls [1-800-787-3224] for women, men, and LGBTQ survivors of domestic violence. They also offer safety planning.

NDVH Website

RAINN (sexual assault survivors)

Available 24/7 for chats & calls [1-800-656-4673] for sexual assault survivors.

RAINN Website

1in6 (male sexual assault survivors)

Available 24/7 chat for men who are survivors of sexual assault.  Also offer support group meetings.

1in6 website

Love is Respect (youth + young adult survivors)

Supports youth and young adults in ending dating violence. The website includes planning resources, legal help, educator toolkits, and more. [Can also call 1-800-331-9474 or text “loveis” to 22522].

Love is Respect Website

StrongHearts Native Helpline (American Indian & Alaskan Native survivors)

StrongHearts Native Helpline is a safe domestic, dating and sexual violence helpline for American Indians and Alaska Natives, offering culturally-appropriate support and advocacy daily from 7 a.m. to 10 p.m. CT. Anonymous and confidential. [1-844-762-8483]

StrongHearts Native Helpline Site

NW Network (LGBTQ Survivor)

The Northwest Network works to end abuse in lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender communities. It strives to support and empower all survivors through education and advocacy. [1-206-568-7777]

NW Network Site

Trans Lifeline (transgender survivors)

Crisis hotline surviving transgender people (1-877-565-8860)

Trans Lifeline Site

The Lifeline (suicide hotline)

The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals. [1-800-273-8255]

Lifeline Site

Affordable Therapy - Open Path

Assist in finding affordable counselors, individual sessions range from $30-$60.

Open Path Website

Co-Dependents Anonymous

runs support groups for people struggling with Codependency.

Locate Meetings