I was taken by these words of Judge Lynn Toler as I read them on her Instagram page. It reminded me of a time that I relished in the idea of just “being me.” Embracing my individuality and understanding self love and empowerment is something I’ve been taught since I was a little girl. I’ve always known that each person is uniquely made, and I’ve always enjoyed knowing that variety is the spice of life. This helped me along the way over the years as a labeled social butterfly by one of my favorite elementary school teachers. It grew my appreciation of enjoying and learning about different cultures, and I believe it helps me be a better communicator, by understanding that everyone has their own perspectives.

While growing up, my parents always challenged us to give our best at anything we sought out to do. Judge Lynn’s quote reminds me that just because I am who I am, and I naturally do what I do, does not give me an excuse to not be and do better. In fact it makes me slow down and evaluate who I am, and what I am about. The popular statements “that’s just who I am” and “that’s just me” can easily become a crutch if I allow it to. It can let me give fifty percent of my best while knowing there’s a full tank. It can limit my ability and keep me from pursing more. It can it can keep me stuck in cycles that do me no good. Continuing habits that are working against me and not for me. It can keep my best hidden and my potential covered, because I’m settling to just be - me.

Now if your current self has already been perfected, and you feel like the total package then rock out!! But, if not I want you to embrace the idea that you are “full”. Unlike a book that has nothing in it and is empty you are full of hopes, ideas, and ability etc. There is more to you, and the former statement doesn’t allow you to grow where needed.

Because some of us are perfectionists, I don’t want this to be an overwhelming thought, just another thing you have to fix or change about yourself. That’s not my steelo. And as a perfectionist I know that being hard on myself hasn’t always paid off and gave me even more unnecessary trouble quite often. This is just about being open to the fact that while we are who we are, we can always make adjustments. Truth is no one is perfect, so join the club lose the stress, but there’s more to all of us by way of development. Let’s believe that. That more is better and we can experience that better if we identify what’s “just us being us” that is not working.

I’ll state that we celebrate black history year. 365 days of black. One day of remembrance is respectable, but the memory and benefit is every single day. When thinking about the progress and forward movement that black people have made I urge you to consider the possibility of their ideas of “better” and “more”. “That’s just me” sometimes just lets us low ball ourselves. We can’t be afraid to dig a little deeper and see what makes, and made us “us”. Only then can we really begin to decide what we’re okay with and what we’re not. What we’re willing to change and what we’re not. The benefit and or necessity of adjustment, or the decision to just be. I think Michelle Obama understood correctly, her book title “Becoming” speaks for itself. I think she sees the value and reality of the correlation between self assessment, growth, and life. Think about it, we don’t just “be” as a child in stature. We physically grow into each stage of maturity naturally. I’d say it’s a similar idea, it’s just a bit more intentional, and just like Janelle Monae said, I like that.

When it comes to our sense of touch and the way things feel, it’s not something people typically consider immediately, but when you think about the two places we spend most of our time, on a couch and in bed, there’s a lot to give some thought to.

Seating isn’t optional, so pick out something you really like. Determine which style works best. Measure the amount of space you have, and consider how much seating will be needed on the reg. Lastly, pick a material you can live with. One that is pet, children, and life approved.

The same goes for a mattress. Whether you have a full size bed, daybed or futon, pick out something you can rest, chill, and play on. Turn leisure time into something more. Choose carefully, so you can truly enjoy the benefits and comfort of your space. Your mind and body will thank you later!

“Physically Speaking”

Nothing even matters at all when I'm with you
Your warm smile makes me comfortable and easy
My heart opens and I can freely express myself to you through physical contact
Hand in hand we would stand, and I'd squeeze tighter, hoping you'd never let go
Lips touch and face to face we lay,
and for this moment I pray it will never end
Clothes on and still we connect
Music plays and still we lay
Silence was the key and still the moment was blissful
Misinterpreted to some, but we fully understood what was going on
We - conversed without words
as we laid. © 2006

Traditional Islamic clothing for women has always strived to be modest, aimed at giving the upmost respect for the woman and her body. In the very least, the garments typically cover the woman’s full body, long-sleeved shirts and pants are preferred, and a headscarf covers her hair. Most of the traditional styles also provide functional advantages for women in their daily activities, and regionally garments are made in a practical manner taking into consideration many things such as climate.

Over time more modern approaches to Islamic style for women have emerged. While still maintaing the dress codes most follow, culturally, Muslim women from different ethnic groups have have always made their modest look their own by incorporating more mainstream apparel; a diverse selection of colors, fabrics, patterns, and accessories into their wardrobes.

Recently, while talking to a few Muslim women they’ve said they expect their clothing to be; modest, beautiful, fashionable, and intelligent reflecting the thoughtfulness of how they choose to dress. Respect to their values and customary practices that honor women and their essence.

“You gotta know how bomb you are without congratulations, validation, or celebration.”

We all need validation at times and it's nice when it comes. We should definitely appreciate those moments! There is absolutely nothing wrong with requesting more verbal affirmation from your boo or loved one if that’s what you need or desire. You should be open enough to share that comfortably, and if not I encourage you to work towards expressing that.

On the flip side, we’ve gotta check ourselves regarding this, because in reality everyone isn't always going to be cheering for you. It may not be on the radar for some to do so for you. There’s possibility that one day they may stop. You may look around and no one may be there to do that for you for one reason or another. But, what’s next?

Because of this truth, be your own cheerleader! Sometimes it may be required that you pat your own self on the back, face yourself in the mirror and say nice job. No matter how you feel when you know, then you know. Meaning, if you are sure of who you are and what you’re about that’s enough! If you have the ultimate validation coming from yourself, God, or other higher power what more do you need? This shouldn’t just be a practice, but a principle. Build with bricks not sticks. You’ve got this. Words from others can be fickle, but for yourself let what you know be a sure thing. Let that be what holds the most weight.

When speaking of this in terms of dependency and being emotionally reliant on affirmation from others, the relationship you have first with yourself matters. Yes, we can have an active relationship with ourselves. All other relationships should flow from the one you first established with yourself. Make sure it’s a healthy one, nurture it. Let it provoke you in positive ways. That is when you allow yourself to really embrace life and live lit. Stand on your own two feet in the streets, chin up!

Style is left up to the beholder, and all true fashionistas know that it’s something that comes from within. Inspo is a factor, but like artists of other industries, freedom and creativity is the mix you need to make a great apparel moment. Leave your inhibitions behind! There is no falling in line, make sure that you think twice; maybe you want to go left! Fashion is exploratory to so many and this month’s custom designer feature Yetta Vega breathes this “do you” fashion aura! Sometimes we get glimpses of what’s next for us, and her extra push came from those around her who happened to take notice! Also, keep an eye out for the brand collaboration’s limited edition custom reveal!

What is your favorite part about being a stylist and designing custom denim?

My Favorite part is that you can help. That is my main goal with this is to help women feel beautiful. Create beauty, live in beauty. However anyone can help someone know that all it takes is that right item, that right piece of clothing, they can help them change the world. Me designing custom denim is a piece to the empire I am trying to build. Having something that is one of a kind has always been my favorite thing of life. That’s how I dress myself, I love being the only one to do something. So, designing one-of-a-kind custom denim is a way to express my heart. (ART)

Define fashion?

The definition of fashion to me is infinite, influential, one-of-a-kind, and you don’t need labels.

What motivates your designs?

There can be multiple things. I could be having a bad day, a good day to be sunny outside. I could’ve just had a good vibe session by sketching, listening to music, trying to seek inspiration. My daughter could’ve just did something great. It just all depends on what I’m going through, the mood, how I feel, and my vibe. All of that stuff dictates the picture or design.

What do you believe are the essential elements needed to be a great stylist?

You have to be a great listener. An active listener. You have to have it at imagination, and you need to “be” fashion.

What inspired your name for the brand “Styled By Grace”?

Take it back to 2017, I started working at the retailer White House Black Market becoming a certified stylist. During that job I had a few clients coming in throughout the week that were always so impressed with my eclectic ways. It gave me an idea. Now fast forward, one day I was in church speaking to Mr. Scott and he began telling me how I’m always so graceful. How I need to apply that same hunger, drive, and willingness to my business idea I shared with him about starting a group home. Now fast forward even further to 2019, I’m working at Triangle Park, and somebody again comes to me saying, “you’re are always so graceful, you’re always so stylishly dressed.” Here goes that idea again. So, instead of the original name “Glinny’s Angel”, “Styled By Grace” was born. Its been that way since. I walk with grace, with faith, dignity.

As a customs designer, what is your favorite part about working with/for clients?

Just the ideas. The brainstorming part. Bringing all that beautifulness to light. I love vibing and creating dope shit.

What’s your earliest creative memory?

Being 12 or 13 years old, and it was when we thought bleach and everything was like cool. So, I used to take bleach, put it on my hands, and put my hand prints on jeans. Or, just splash the bleach all over my jeans. Haha, my mom couldn’t stand it!!