I’ve been married to my amazing husband, Arlen, for 5 years! 2 years ago we moved across the state line from Illinois to Indiana with our three pups. We have truly enjoyed country living in our 120 year old farmhouse & are currently in the middle of our first home reno! I cannot wait to show you all the process!

In 2017 + 2018 we had two miscarriages within a little over a year of each other. Both losses have a completely different story & changed us forever. 1 in 4 women have a miscarriage. Unfortunately, it’s very common & I’ve shared our story on the third slide. Please always remember, you are - never - alone my dear.

By wearing and sharing my favorite cosmetics + skincare, I’ve been able to uplift + empower women through the power of social media. Every woman deserves to feel confident in her own skin. My goal is that every woman knows how beautiful, strong + worthy she truly is.

One last thing! I am totally obsessed with all things farmhouse, affordable fashion + all the iced coffee!

Talk to you all soon!

xoxo
Cassidy Kerst

Both of our losses are so different. From the time we found out I was pregnant, to telling family, going through each loss and how we grieved. I am sharing our story in hopes others don’t feel alone. Miscarriage is something that is so common yet isn’t talked about much. This could be because there is so much pain. The pain you feel especially being surrounded by those sharing their exciting pregnancy announcements. As heartbreaking as these losses have been, I’m incredibly thankful for connecting with other women who have experienced this. It’s beautiful to see a sisterhood bonding & women helping each other through these times. As promised, here’s our story.

In May 2017, we found out we were pregnant with our first baby. Oh the excitement that was overflowing. It was so hard to keep it a secret from our family. Especially since we saw that positive test right before going to dinner with my husbands family. After a few weeks we finally asked our parents over for a cookout. We couldn’t keep it in any longer you guys! While my husband was praying for our food he said “... & Lord, thank you for the baby in my wife’s belly. Amen.” Tears. Excitement. Hugs. Joy.

For me, I think that mama instinct already kicked in. I didn’t want to tell any other family. The fear had set in of losing our baby but the excitement overpowered the fear and tons of phone calls were made.

I was still very early. About 3-5 weeks early. Since it was my first pregnancy we couldn’t have our first appointment until I was 12 weeks. On June 20, at ten weeks along, I decided to go to the walk-in because I had been spotting. They said they couldn’t do anything and I would have to go to the ER. I wanted to be sure everything was okay. Since Arlen had to work, my mom took me to the ER. Once we were there they took my blood and did an ultra sound. Then the doctor came in with the words no one ever wants to hear. “I’m sorry but we couldn’t find a heart beat.” How was I going to tell my husband, on his birthday, that we just lost our first baby? Our hearts were shattered. The months following were the hardest months we have ever went through.

May 2018 came and we saw another positive test. Our first one since our loss. I instantly cried with fear overpowering my excitement. This time, we weren’t telling anyone until we had our first appointment. We had our first ultra sound but there was no heart beat. The doctor let us know I could still be earlier than 5 weeks. A heartbeat can’t usually be found until after 5 weeks. I was still worried, upset and feared the unknown. A few weeks later we went in for another ultra sound. Squeezing my husbands hand we heard the words “there’s a heart beat!” Tears were instantly flowing. Once I calmed down we were able to see the sweetest thing my eyes have ever seen, our babies heartbeat fluttering on the screen.

We told our parents the exciting news but no one else. I counted down each week as I got closer to that 12 week “safe zone”. I was feeling good. No morning sickness just more tired which is normal! 10 weeks came and the nerves set in since this was the week we lost our first.

On July 1, a Sunday evening, the spotting came again. This time it was heavier than before. After a few hours my husband finally decided we were going to the ER. Another ultra sound and the words we feared to here again were said. “I’m sorry but there’s no heartbeat.” Our hearts shattered, again.

Our first miscarriage I had the D&C. This one, they had me go naturally.

Miscarriages are hard. Emotionally. Physically. They change you. You become angry + lost. During these hard times though, our God is still a good God. This was hard for me after our first loss because I became so angry at Him.

I’ve found the good and cling to it the most in these hard times. Sharing our story, speaking to many women, building a special bond with them & using our story to glorify Him.

Sweet friend, this loss is not your fault. Read that again. You did -nothing- wrong. Hear me? I know this was your first thought. I know you blame yourself. Don’t do it. Don’t let Satan whisper these lies to you. You will always be that sweet babies mama. Always. The feelings you feel are normal. It’s okay to be upset at a pregnancy announcement on social media even if you are extremely happy for them. It’s okay to be laughing one minute and then upset at something so small the next. You need to grieve. Take time for yourself. If you ever need someone to talk to, my inbox is always open.

Sharing our story has helped me and I hope it can help whoever is listening 🤍