Luna's side of the story
please find me.
Congratulations for finding this! This is the complete story of Luna's POV which will lead you to know more about the whole story much before than anyone else. ✨
Chapter 1 —
a warm summer day
Luna casually skated down the quarter pipe, it looked like the skatepark belonged to her. She was genuinely having fun while skating, it didn't seem as a competition for her on who'd be the best skater which was the thing she liked the most about skating because she didn't feel the pressure of being compared to someone. The only time she felt free of any burden and responsibilities was when she was skating, she felt grateful towards that person who gave her that passion. For spending days and nights to teach her the best part of skating and just practically loving... maybe if things were different, just like in another life, maybe they would be both finally happy together.
She took a little break from skating, she laid down under a shelter next to the quarter pipes, she turned on her speaker and she put a random song from her playlist. She looked at the sky, ready to tear up when she saw the sky spreading its pretty colors. It reminded her of so many memories, each one of them was as colorful as that sky but she should've been ready for the aftermath. When she closed her eyes, every emotion could be felt. Tears even went along her pinkish cheeks. Sorrow could be felt her face. I mean, how couldn't sorrow be felt? She thought about how her heart got broken by that same person who gave her that passion, the will to live once again. Even just thinking about it was enough to make her pretty honey colored eyes to tear a bit. Could've she made things a bit different back then? Maybe if she didn't let her pride take ahead, is she was a tiny bit more honest with that person... But maybe it was pointless at this point to think about the "could've been"s.
In the summertime in LA
Yeah, ever since you been sending shots my way
But you keep missing
Don't give up on me yet
You down to risk it all?
You might just get it all
I got a thing for them fellas on the north side
If you wit it like you telling, come and change my mind
You 100 but fronting, hope on the 99
If you don't stop trying
I might make you mine
If you don't stop trying
I might make you mine
If you don't stop trying
I might make you mine
Before going back to skating, she turned off her speaker and went back to putting her earbuds in with loud music playing that she coud barely hear her surroundings which she really liked. She was in awe when she saw the sun rays hitting right on the skatepark that reflected so mesmerizingly. It was... almost the perfect summer morning, she was genuinely enjoying the moment yet her fingertips were supposed to feel air but for some reason, she could still feel somebody else's fingertips on hers. She could feel that person's touch, the fingertips that still lingered on her skin. This made her wonder that if she was the one who ended up being with Mia, would she still think about that "somebody else"? She would be lying if that thought didn't cross her mind... And maybe they could've just decided to pursue that romance they had over a year ago now after Mia eventually had a breakup with her former girlfriend. But... Mia was way too troubled and her priority was to support her. Mia has now a lot of friends to count on so she's happy for her and she's very proud of her, she realized that they wouldn't be right for each other by now. Yet... This isn't a reason to obsess over someone that she hasn't seen in a while! Why was she thinking about them suddenly...? When she finally thought that she has moved on, her brain had a funny way of reminding her the times she was happy with them which only made her sad right now because she knew that she couldn't see them ever again. It's been a year already... so why? Why was she hurting herself like this?
« Hey you're still joining us next to the fountain, right? »
What a timing to receive a text from Mia, she always had this weird timing of sending her messages as such odd times, as if she was reading her mind.
« Well, I'm going to get changed then I'm coming. »
She was sweating perhaps due to the fact that skating under the sun isn't a very good idea but she didn't regret it, feeling the sun against her skin was one of the best feelings. She didn't wanna see them while she was still drenched in her own sweat so she went home. She took a quick shower, she hated the smell of dried sweat and the feeling of it on her skin. I mean, who likes that anyway? She went to her bedroom to decide of an outfit to wear, she chose to put on some blue mom jeans, a black tank top top, green Stan Smith shoes and most importantly her favorite flannel that was the color of shades of coffee.
On her way to the fountain, she noticed that her message didn't even get delivered to Mia. But well, at this point she was already near the fountain so she didn't bother sending the message, she just hoped that they were still around and that they didn't move. Knowing Mia... they already probably moved. Luna only wanted to enjoy the sun hitting the building a few miles away and the trees around her, the fountain was located among these trees in a park. When she got to the fountain, she saw the individual seats around and as she thought she didn't see Mia and the others there. As she was going to call Mia, when she glanced over the fountain, the sound caught her attention hence she took a few steps to approach the source and as she recognized the music that someone was mumbling the lyrics of, she hung up the phone before Mia could even reply.
I could, I could be there for you
I could, I could be the one to
I'd be your cigarette
Happy that someone knew that gem, she gladly sung the next lyrics:
I would, I would be your light and
I would, I would shine you brighter
Oh, I wish, I be your last
This seemed to startle the stranger and it was enough to make her go completely silent, she thought that she ended up scaring her away which she felt guilty for. She looked at this stranger, she wore a basic V-neck shirt and grey shorts, not really surprising since it was hot. She probably should have done the same, she was clearly dying wearing jeans and her flannel... But it's worth it because it's her favorite flannel. When she noticed that the silence was starting to become a bit overwhelming and since she felt guilty for scaring her, she broke the silence:
« - A person once showed me that continuing the lyrics of someone else's singing would be a great idea.
- Not if they're a total stranger. What if I'm a creep?
- Pretty sure the roles are reversed since you're the one who got scared. And... I don't know, I felt like I've seen you somewhere. Have I seen you somewhere?
- Do you come here often?
- Um... — she chuckled — you remind me a lot of someone.
- Quite offensive, I thought I was unique.
- Don't take it personally, she's a great person. »
It was silent for good 30 seconds, it wasn't long but it was long enough to make it noticeable. They both nervously laughed at this situation, Luna said:
« Anyway I gotta rush... the person I mentioned is waiting for me so... I guess I'll see you around? If you do come here often. »
she smiled and quickly went away.
Only a few seconds went by, Mia and her friends were arriving. Mia ran towards Luna:
« - Luna!
- Oh hey, there you are.
- I'm the one who's supposed to say that, you weren't replying to my messages.
- Well, I had to get my glasses and also put my skate back... and so I could put my favorite flannel over without sweating under.
- Um... right. Well, Mia pointed Kris out, this is my childhood friend who just came back in town named Kris.
- Kris... ? — Luna quickly looked at Kris — actually we just kinda met. — Kris and Luna both awkwardly giggled —
- Oh, really? Well, weird coincidence but convenient. Kris, Luna is the person I was talking to you about, she skates at the skatepark. »
Kris longly stared at Luna, she felt embarrassed so she looked away but she could feel her gaze upon her. While she was looking away, Mia and her friends were laughing together, they were chatting and they were having some inside jokes. Kris seemed a bit out of place as she didn't know them so she talked with Luna since she only knew her. For some reason talking with Kris felt reassuring, as if they knew each other for a while. The more time passed, the more Kris began to talk enthusiastically that she was moving her whole body, amusing Luna while the others were teasing Mia by telling her to be careful about losing Kris to Luna. Even though it was just a joke, Luna felt a bit bothered by it but she didn't really show it. She was bothered by it because that Kris person wasn't just an object that they could just enjoy passing to each other and she knew that's what her friends meant, their group was a mess and they would date pretty much anyone so dating wasn't such a big deal for them. But... It was for her, dating someone should be just when you have feelings for them. Otherwise, what's the point?
Mia and her friends decided to go on the docks as it's their usual hangout spot. They were all excited to see each other and their laughs just brought a really good mood which seemed to make Kris more comfortable as she saw her smiling. Once they were sitting on a bench, Kris took her courage to finally ask everyone their name which made everyone laugh due to the fact she was asking just now.
The first person who introduced himself was none other than Charlie, he liked getting the attention first. He excitedly introduced himself:
« I'm Charlie but call me Cha for short! Or you can just call me tonight... »
Cha winked but he then got hit on the shoulder by Ina who was kinda done with Cha's flirty behavior:
« Shut up, you're gonna scare Kris! Don't mind him, she apologized for her friend's behavior, my name's Ina. »
Ina greeted with a bright smile. Luna was busy rearranging her bangs and thinking about Charlie and Ina's relationship, it seemed like Ina was a bit jealous that he would flirt with every girl he would meet. Well, maybe she was just overthinking this situation... Luna finally realized it was her turn to introduce herself as no one else was speaking:
« I reckon you might already know me... I'm Luna. »
when Luna said that, Kris had her mouth completely shut. The same silence she gave her when she completed her lyrics as if something was bothering her... Her sudden thoughts were intertwined by Lauren:
« My name Jeff. »
she seriously said which made Kris go like:
« Really ?! »
and as the others were holding their laugh just lost it. Kris looked confused then a bit embarrassed:
« I'm kidding, my name's Lauren! Nice to meet you. »
Luna was really happy at the moment, they kept hanging out and they were laughing. She even wondered if she really deserved to be this happy... Is it really okay to finally let herself be happy?
Kris proceeded to ask the whole group:
« - So is it only you? You don't have any other guy friends?
- Why? Charlie questioned, don't you find me attractive enough to be your boyfriend or something?
- Are you scared to be the only guy with Cha? Lauren interrupted
- Hum... excuse me? Kris confusedly asked
- Well, aren't you Mia's boyfriend? You kinda keep on clinging on to her.
— This made Kris laugh and she got even closer to Mia —
- Right, I'm her boyfriend!
- Lauren... I wouldn't have hit on her if I knew she was a dude!
- Oh shit, I'm sorry! It's just that your name sounds like a dude's name plus...
- The fact that she has no tits? Mia, Ina, Charlie and even Luna said in unison.
- ... Wow, the kind of image you already have of me, guys.
- To answer your question, Mia replied, there are indeed more dudes in our group but we see them more in parties and we're also a much bigger group than this. We just decided to hang out the five of us today.
- We're the OGs! Luna exclaimed »
Luna realized how good it was to finally have a friend group of her own, she just liked the mood... them. She felt grateful towards Mia who reunited all of them.
The sun was starting to set and they were all already drinking, Charlie said there was no said time for drinking as he chugged down his beer. Everyone was just full of joy, it really felt like summer holidays. Mia was blasting music on her speaker:
Last night, I lost all my patience
You were fucked up, I was wasted
I can't take it no more, no more
Fuck the ru-u-u-ules
Fuck the ru-u-u-ules
Everyone was singing the lyrics by heart, this was their group's anthem. Luna was happy to see Kris sing along to the lyrics, she knew that she would soon feel welcomed. It just felt right to have her in their group as she had always belonged to this group. Mia and Kris went a bit further from the others, the others were teasing her for dating Kris but she brushed it off, only Luna... kept quiet. As mentioned earlier, she didn't particularly enjoy teasing people into dating each other.
The more Luna thought about them dating, the weirder it got in her head. It... didn't seem quite right. Why did she even care? Oh... maybe she still wasn't over Mia after all. Maybe she indeed wanted to pursue that romance they had over a year ago even if she knew damn well they weren't right for each other. How could they ever be? She was... this introverted girl who rarely even wants to go to parties while Mia was this extroverted girl who tried making her go out of that daily routine she was stuck with. And she would forever be grateful to her for changing for the better but she can't just completely change herself, she was yet too unstable to ever love someone at the moment. Besides she promised herself she couldn't think about being happy with anyone or even loving anyone... after losing... her. She should really stop thinking about love, this was getting on her friendship's way and she hated it. She shouldn't ever let anyone cross those boundaries that she set herself in order to protect the person and herself, after all, she's only bound to hurt people. Kris and Mia soon came back to the others, just right then she locked eyes with Kris. It was a bizarre feeling... it's as if she saw this scene happening over and over again much before. Luna tried keeping that feeling off so they kept on dancing and drinking with their music out loud.
They finished their tiny party, it was the very first summer party. This is where everything is gonna begin from, where is this going to lead our beloved characters?
Chapter 2 —
not a love story
Luna, being a morning person, woke up before 6AM, it was summer so the sun was rising by then. She got up and got dressed up quickly, she carefully went outside in such a way that she wouldn't wake up her mother. She liked this mood, the air in the morning was really refreshing and it was cold enough to wear a sweater. On top of that, the sunrise is always a good time to wake up to. She went to her usual spot so she could see the sunrise, it was a plain surface that gave a really nice view of the sky. Her feet brought her back to where she met Mia and... her first love. Maybe she was hoping to see one of them again, it felt calm to be by their side. She was an overly anxious person so it was rare for her to feel so peaceful around someone.
Her... first love, huh? Well yeah, the person she was thinking about in the previous chapter was her first love. The one that taught her love, pain and patience. But... that was a mistake. She shouldn't have let herself fall so deep under her first love's spell but at the time, it felt good, it felt right... it didn't feel perfect because there's no such thing yet every imperfection, every flaw she noticed in that person didn't feel much as flaws because she still liked her even for those.
Her... first love, huh? Well yeah, the person she was thinking about in the previous chapter was her first love. The one that taught her love, pain and patience. But... that was a mistake. She shouldn't have let herself fall so deep under her first love's spell but at the time, it felt good, it felt right... it didn't feel perfect because there's no such thing yet every imperfection, every flaw she noticed in that person didn't feel much as flaws because she still liked them even for these so called flaws.
You look so pretty and I love this view
Don't bother looking down
We're not going that way
At least I know I am here to stay
We fell in love in October
That's why I love fall
Looking at the stars
Admiring from a far
She fell in love with her in October. And this time, she admitted in her own mind and had made peace with it to say that it was a "her". She's aware that she lied about her gender when she talked about her first love to Mia. But... she was scared. She didn't know Mia well at that time. Well, it was weird, she knew well but at the same time she didn't. For instance, she would know the deepest things about her but she didn't even know the simplest stuff about her, she didn't know what she was into and who, meaning what kind of person, she was into. She was scared of the outcome of revealing her such a secret specially when she hasn't totally came into terms with her own sexuality, she didn't wanna put a label into it, she was scared to. Truth is, she was scared of her own mother's reaction, she knew she wouldn't be okay with it and that... scared her.
She already imagined this scenario where her mother would meet Mia and it didn't exactly go well. That was what her own was telling her, she always imagined the worst case of scenarios. But in this scenario... at least, she was happy with Mia. Though not knowing how they should live their lives afterwards scared her... she knew she couldn't just come back to her mother's after coming out.
Luna wasn't totally lying when she talked about her first love, the thing is, she really isn't the best liar out there and the person she was talking to was Mia, someone she trusted a lot. There was indeed someone called Alex in her past... but more importantly, Luna was far satisfied by looking her first love from a far distance. She was okay with that, she was fine hiding her feelings so that if wouldn't ruin their relationship. But at some point, she reached her limit... her feelings reached its peak, it was too much for her that all she wanted to do was to tell her. Maybe she shouldn't have wished for it... it only brought a sad ending to their story, after all, this isn't a love story.
Anyway, back to her first love story that wasn't exactly a love story... It was on a regular day in fall where leaves were falling. Her first love didn't come like in those cliché romance stories, she didn't come while skating and having this moment where her eyes were focused on her fixing her hair. She was sitting at the same exact spot she found herself at right now and she was silent, she seemed sad and too deep into her thoughts. She later found out that it was only because she was tired due to her exams that day which was funny contrast to see since when she saw her the next day, she discovered that she was rather a lively person who was agitated and a fun person to be with. And it wasn't a love that came suddenly because she did one single special thing, it came along when she realized day by day the good things that were within her. It made her take a liking to her to the point she was eventually falling in love. How couldn't she fall in love with her? She taught her how to skate, she wrote songs with her and she stayed up all night with her just to talk about themselves. One of the songs they wrote together just came to her mind after thinking about them writing songs together.
Again that season, I'm looking up under this blue sky,
A summer of wanting to see you,
By your smile you gave me energy,
The rhythm of my heart urges me to embrace you,
Before I knew it my emotions grew too large to hide it,
It made me deeply wish to stay longer with you.
Luna remembered how funny it was to come up with lyrics with her first love, it wasn't like those intimate moments in movies where they would get heaten up because they were talking about emotional feelings but rather a moment where they laughed their heart out because of how bad the first lyrics were. And even though they were mocking the lyrics, Luna was actually amazed by her ability to write something like this, it made her feel some type of way to see her first love writing songs with her and she actually liked those lyrics but she wasn't satisfied with the lyrics they came up with so she worked hard to find better lyrics which amazed Luna even more.
Another summer memory
A whole year of wanting to see you
The countdown has just started
So far yet so near of you
Let's make this summer our story
As we spent time together
You're messing up with my heart
from andante to presto
Before I even start
You're making things harder
And that was one of the many reasons why she was in love with her, her ability to touch her heart more than anyone. What made it harder to not fall for even deeper was the kind words that left a mark on her until this day.
« This song sung by your lips is all I can dream of. »
But due to her insecurities before she couldn't bring herself to even think about singing and this was what made her sing more often, she trained each day so she could sing the song written by her first love yet... she was never able to sing it to her. And she'll never be able to hear her singing the songs she wrote. In a hesitant voice, she sang the lyrics written by her beloved person. In her voice, sorrow could be felt. And how couldn't sorrow be felt? You know the rest of the story now...
After watching the sunrise, she went home before her mother could even notice her going outside. Laying on her bed, she wondered what she was going to do as she pretty much had the rest of the day before the party. Yeah, they had a party almost everyday... it was summer so all of their parents seemed to be more okay with them going out and letting them "stay over at their friend's place", it was their most used excuse. Luna went to the library in the afternoon, the library was a huge place, it was actually some sort of an old medieval castle turned into a library so it was inevitably one of the most mesmerizing places ever, both inside and outside. Not a lot of people went there because it was pretty hard to get there so only the diehard bookworms went there or people who only went there because they liked the "aesthetics" so it annoyed her when the place started getting success only for its marvelous architecture because everything in it was much more worth the detour. There was a lot of floors so it's easy to avoid people you want to avoid. Not that she wanted to avoid anyone, she just always preferred reading alone except if it was Mia bothering her because it never really bothered her deep inside. Her favorite floor was the English Renaissance Theater where there was a wing dedicated to Shakespeare which was one her favorite authors as she found comforting in reading his work hence it was the place she liked going to. Even though she complained so much about Romeo and Juliet, she was obsessed with his other masterpiece called Hamlet. The lack of resolution he had made nearly all the characters die without the said problem being solved which oddly reminded her of herself. Not that her loved ones died but she recognizes herself in a way she has always had this conflict going on not between her uncles and her (her mother would probably the one taking the uncle's place in her life though) but between her and her own mind, her own lack of resolution she also had ended up her failing her first love. The library was big enough to get lost easily in the rows which for her was a great metaphor for her own mind that made it so easy for her to get lost into, which is why she found conflict between her and her own mind.
It's been a while and it always brought her so many good memories. Such as Mia meeting her for the first time there and asking why she always had a sad look on her face... which was an odd question to ask a stranger but it also made her happy that someone was being observant enough to notice she was feeling sad. That's also where they passed each other notes by putting them in a book and thinking about it, it was such a silly decision to give her address to Mia and call for her help with a book. That's something that could've only happened well in books... yet Mia found it, she found her, just like in those books. She thought about all of those times she ran away with Mia, it was her favorite moments with her favorite runaway. To this day, Luna actually still didn't know why Mia wanted to run away from her life, she still remained a mysterious person for her even after all the different secrets they shared to each other. Nevertheless, she was happy to be one of her close friends.
Haunting the city, crash with your homies
Chain smoking Rollies, and they're all in love with you
Take me out somewhere, the twirling undead
You need to believe in yourself like I do
Hold your nerve, hold your nerve
Steady and sure, soon will come your turn
Then you're here, out of the smoke
Listening to this song made her think of Mia and how she actually missed their runaways, she wanted to be taken out somewhere by her once again. Maybe if she was more honest with her, maybe they would still be hanging as much as they used to but now they barely see each other alone. The few alone moments she could steal from her was at parties and it was when Mia is so wasted that the only person she can count on is her, she actually did the same because each time she was alone near a trash can, the only person who helped her out was Mia as well. So... their relationship now consisted of them returning favors, of them helping each other out in their worst states which is a lame friendship if you ask me.
Talking about parties, it was almost time. It was her cue to go, before leaving she left a note in one of her books she liked with Mia. It was again... a silly note that this time she won't be able to find because she wouldn't probably expect to look for her soon. But... it wasn't too silly to hope this much, she wanted to go back to what they used to be. Not specially having both of them ending up drunk kissing each other but just running away from problems and responsibilities they had at the moment.
« If you ever come across this... I wanna run away with you again. Please... look for me and find me. »
Did that seem too attention seeking? Meh, she was sure she would never find it anyway so it's fine to be selfish as long as no one would know about it.
But maybe she was okay with Mia seeing that vulnerable side of her, it was the only person she was fine being the way she was. Mia made her believe that she could lean on her and she could take her at her own word.
Chapter 3 —
« Are you sure about that? »
The sun was setting, she didn't realize that she spent so much time at the library, she probably spent too much of her time getting lost in it. It took her a bit less than an hour to get to the location of the party, the library was pretty far but she enjoyed doing that detour because it was her favorite library and that's where she met Mia. When she got there, a bit more than a dozen of people was there but she couldn't find Mia. As soon as she was there, Charlie sort of kidnapped her with Lauren and Ina, they needed to buy alcohol together and they needed to bring Luna along with them so she eventually had to give in. And it's not as if it bothered her that much, she could enjoy the sunset better this way because if they moved a bit further, she'd be able to get the perfect view of it.
Seeing this view, she instantly thought of Mia. Actually she often thought about her when she got to see such a great scenery like this, she smiled upon seeing the sunset and she wished for the stars and the moon to meet soon. Charlie teased Lauren as they were talking about an old crush and this made Luna think of how bad he would tease her if he knew about her and Mia before, fortunately not a lot of people knew about them or that's what she at least thought. Speaking of, Charlie now asked Luna if she had a crush on someone at the moment, of course it would be her turn now, huh? Obviously, she told him that she didn't like anyone at the moment. Was it a lie? Kind of...
« Have a crush on me then ~ »
She knew it was a joke so she brushed him off, she definitely felt sorry for Ina who was right next to him. How Charlie could be that dense? But then again, it's just that she was being overly observant which is why she knew because Ina was really good at hiding her feelings, she had her ways which even made Luna doubt about what she presumed. After buying two packs of beers, they quickly went back to the party. It actually went faster than going there because they were all excited to finally drink, Charlie couldn't help himself but get one can of beer for himself on their way back. When they got there, Luna looked for Mia but she couldn't find her anywhere, she really wanted to see her. As Luna was walking to look for Mia, she got startled by Kris:
« - Hey! You startled me!
- Haha, sorry, it was tempting. I'm glad to see someone I know here.
- Yeah, those dumbasses wanted to buy alcohol again...
- Well, what did you expect? — Charlie interrupted — The real party is just about to start! — he exclaimed while taking Kris with her arm —
- Cha ! — Kris hesitantly called him, maybe she was scared of making a mistake on his name — Guys, do you happen to know where Mia went? »
Luna hoped that she would see Mia around as Kris was there so they would obviously go to this party together. Did something happen to Mia?
« - Probably making out or giving life advices to someone. — Charlie responded —
- Or both... — Lauren continued —
- Oh I think earlier I heard that she was preparing something, I'm not sure though. — Ina popped out of nowhere — »
The way Ina popped out of nowhere made everyone laugh. Luna genuinely wondered where Mia went, no one really seemed to know where she could've been. They then kept on laughing together while discussing about god knows what. They were bonding over alcohol, there was something about this that made Luna feel home and maybe she couldn't really have an idea of what home felt like but this is how she wants it to be. This logically made her think about the problems she had at home, it really wasn't the time to think about that but it was just one of those moments when you're having fun with your friends and you realize how lonely you feel deep inside.
Getting lost in her thoughts, she was finally brought back to reality with people cheering and she finally caught sight of Mia's silhouette. They were cheering because they were having a beer pong and it seemed like it was none other than Mia who was behind this, her team was winning as she was the one winning the shots with her other friend named Hugo. Luna saw Kris going in the opposite team. Weird, she thought that she would follow her like some sort of puppy. Everyone was cheering and clapping when someone shot the ping pong ball on the opponent's cup. At some point, the team opposing Mia's composed of her exes started to catch up and it seemed like the battle was between Mia and her... exes. The air they breathed was filled with tensions between the them as if it was getting harder to breathe with the warm weather, with everyone drinking alcohol and mostly due to the competitive look they were giving each other. In the end, Mia's team won, everyone cheered louder. They all soon got dispersed into tiny groups, they were all talking about the amazing match but they also changed the subject quickly, she wanted to catch up on Mia but she lost sight of her, she didn't give up there so she looked for her even harder. She crossed Kris' eyes, she hoped seeing Mia next to her but she disappeared again. She decided to check up on her though, she seemed lost without Mia. In fact, she always seemed lost... Kris seemed a bit more confident in her body language which made Luna proud of her, Kris eventually she started a random discussion:
« - So... on a scale from one to ten, how drunk are you? — Kris asked —
- I guess I'm a good 6 right now. »
Seems like someone was just having too many drinks and that it wasn't confidence but rather boldness from alcohol...
« - Lame! I'm like a solid 7.
- Is this a provocation?
- It sure is! »
Both Luna and Kris kept on drinking, they were even playing a drinking game to make things more interesting. They were getting to know each other which was fun. Kris started to get drunk, actually both of them but Kris was faster to get drunk:
« - This is so frustrating, no one wants to kiss me... — Kris said in a drunk tone while thinking about one person in particular —
- You're kidding, right?
- No, I'm not... it seems like no one wants me!
- You're kinda the new person here so everyone wants to get to know you so it wouldn't be surprising if one of them wants to kiss you as you're fairly attractive. »
Luna couldn't help but get bolder with the alcohol going up to her head, it was true that she found Kris attractive.
« - Why don't they come see me then?
- I heard that Fauna told them to stop bothering you all at once so now they're all scared of bothering you.
- They should come see me! I wanna kiss someone right now!
- Are you sure about that? »
Luna's heart was pounding as she got closer to Kris, she waited for her to say something to give her some sort of approval. As she wasn't replying, the distance between their lips was closing. Luna closed her eyes and leaned in and just like that, their lips were sealed. They only kissed for a good second because Kris pulled away and that's when it hit her, those lips that she couldn't help but be attracted to were the lips of the person she first loved. How didn't she realize it sooner? Kris is Kristen, her first love. But this isn't a love story for Luna, their first kiss she always longed for surely didn't end up well, it happened so fast but she locked eyes with Kris who looked so pained before she left. That's when she realized that she wanted to kiss someone else, she didn't just wanna kiss anyone else and yet Luna kissed her, it's something she couldn't forgive herself for.
As soon as she saw Mia caught Kris up, she knew... she knew that the person Kris wanted to kiss was none other than Mia. She should've seen better, the way they were looking at each other the previous day. On top of that, the fact that everyone was teasing her and Kris to be "childhood sweethearts", she didn't brush them off because they were wrong but rather because she was being bashful about it. She saw Fauna a bit further looking at Mia and Kris. One sided love as well, huh...? She immediately got up and joined her to comfort her, it was dark but the tears on Fauna's blue eyes reflected the light of the moon. The scene they witnessed together was Kris and Mia kissing each other, it wasn't the kind of making out that two drunk people would share but it was rather a rough and passionate making out that two people loved would share, which hurt the two even more. Why did it hurt so bad? Isn't she already over Mia by then? If that's the case that would mean that there would be two miserable persons longing for her from afar and another person who turned out to be lucky to be with her. But no, this isn't the case, she was pretty sure by then that the person she was surely not over was Kris. Her first love. And this didn't change the fact that they were feeling miserable at the time... not so over their first love.
Kris and Mia came back, she noticed that Kris was grinning really dumbly whereas Mia looked a bit embarrassed. Luna wondered if Mia noticed how they were feeling towards them, she looked sorry... or maybe it was only because she felt embarrassed by Luna and Fauna see them kissing, she probably couldn't see much of how they truly felt. Luna decided to apologize to Kris though, she couldn't even forgive herself for what she did so it wouldn't be surprising that she was upset with her. But to her surprise, Kris took the blame herself saying that it was her fault for complaining about not being able to kiss someone. That being said, she looked at Mia as if kissing her made her feel better about it which didn't help Luna but feel worse about herself. The silence became overwhelming for both Luna and Fauna, specially with Kris and Mia devouring each other just by looking at each other.
Luna left early saying that her mother noticed that she was gone so she had to go home as soon as possible which was just a lie because her mother went abroad that night for some job she couldn't care less about, she just couldn't bear staying with Kris and Mia any longer. She felt sorry for leaving Fauna alone though... so she apologized to her even though she didn't seem like she knew what she was talking about, she was too lost in her own thoughts that were drowning her as well, huh?
She's got you
While I die
Why would you ever kiss me?
I'm not even half, as pretty
You gave her your sweater
It's just polyester, but you like her better
Wish I were Heather
On her way back home, her only company was music. Which she only drowned herself into sorrow because she felt the lyrics. She could already feel the tears flowing over her cheeks, why did it have to hurt so bad to love her? That scene where they were kissing was playing in her head over and over again. Of course, Kris would like someone like Mia. They were both similar and they shone brighter together, they were right for each other unlike her who would never feel right for someone. If only she could find a way to hurt less but the only thing she could think about was all of the good memories she had with Kris, she tried so hard to be looked and liked by her. She tried so hard to have her attention and it just hurt so bad because Kris forgot about her, about all of the good memories she held so dear within her. How was it just so easy for Kris to forget about all of this? She knows that she couldn't blame her because she had an accident but it was driving her crazy that she had forgotten about her. She wouldn't ask to be loved back but she wanted to be remembered by her first love the same way Kris left a mark on her because til this day only the kind words were ringing inside her head which made it harder to get over her.
And all she wanted was for it to be 10PM, the only rare time where the moon and the sun could be seen together. The reason why she was so in awe with that kind of view is because she always felt like the moon, so alone yet so sad and she has always seen Kris as the sun, she always brightened everyone else's life.
Chapter 4 —
« Why can't I just forget about you the same way you forgot me so easily? »
It was a hectic night for Luna, she just found out that Kris was her first love. Of course, it made sense that Mia would know her... they're both the same country and Filipino people are known to have this large community so it seems like they all knew each other in the foreign country they were located in. She could never blame Mia for having a thing with Kris, in fact, she could only blame herself for even lying to her when they talked about her first love. She could only blame herself for not being brave enough to confess to Kris before her accident. What was the point of it anyway if she was going to forget about her? But at least she wouldn't have that remorse left from not telling her her last words. She could only bury down those feelings deep inside her, if she opened her mouth it would only ruin everything. It would ruin Mia and Kris' relationship and her friendship with them and it's the least thing she wanted. All she could do was hide the sad truth, it's not like it would make Kris look her way again since they weren't lovers in the first place... she has no right to remind her of her own past and it was for her sake. After all, it would be much painful for Kris to be reminded of all the troubles she had before her accident. So she had to keep her mouth shut to protect her, for her sake.
Yet she was still holding on on those songs they wrote together, from what Kris wrote as the beginning of the song, they both thought how funny it would be to come up with the next part of the lyrics each on their side. Funny, really...? Luna poured all of her feelings to write the next part to surprise Kris this time. And this was exactly the time her feelings reached its peak, where she wanted to confess... she wanted to make it special so she thought about how she would like it if she proceeded to tell her about how she felt through their song. She took out her guitar, casually strumming the strings, as if she also felt Kris' hands guiding her own. The tip of her fingers felt empty without Kris touching them to tell her that she had pretty hands.
From the moment we locked eyes
I knew that it would mark me for life
(but) I was too caught up in this dream
And I thought my heart wouldn’t scream
But I can’t ignore it no more
And it hurt that you still don’t know
My body is getting all sore
I have to let go
Suddenly singing those lyrics made her heart ache, her body all sore. It was feelings she couldn't easily let go of.
So this is my last goodbye
Even if the truth is I wish this was all a lie
But my heart is too fragile
And my own love is killing me at night
So my dear friend
Let me say it again
This is my last goodbye
On her last strumming, she felt like it was her own heart that she was trampling over and over again. It hurt. A lot. Because all she wanted to do was to tell her those last words... to sing her one last time, to be able to feel her one last time. The more she sung this song, the more it felt real that the last time she saw Kris, the Kris she had loved was before her accident. The current Kris she's seeing isn't the one she used to know so she shouldn't be this hooked up onto her but the void she felt the past year was suddenly filled by something, though it was sorrow, she was finally able to feel something. She didn't know what was the worst thing about her woes, was it the fact she was never able to tell Kris what she really felt before her accident? Was it the fact each time she felt like she could be finally happy, her happiness is taken so easily? Was it the fact no matter what she does now, her first love could never be brought back and will never be able to remember all of this, all of this being the past she's been reminiscing over and over again?
Maybe if she just didn't let herself feel anything in the first place, maybe she wouldn't be hurt this much.
Thinking about this all made her heart ache, she couldn't control those feelings. If only we could, things would be so much easier... how it hurts to have a one sided love, how it hurts to love someone who'd never look your way, how it hurts to just love.
« Who's coming to the field today? Mia's there. »
Her view was blurred out with her tears flowing, she wiped her tears off to see clearer. It was Fauna sending a text to the group, she presumed that Mia was alone there so she decided to get there as soon as possible. She needed to see her after all of this mess, she hated the fact that even though she was the person that Kris currently liked, she was also the only person that could make her feel better.
It took her a bit more than a dozen of minutes to get there, right in the middle of the field, she saw someone laying on the ground. Judging by that person's outfit, it was most probably Mia. She got closer to her and Mia had her eyes closed, there were tears running down her cheeks. Has she been crying...? Luna didn't have the time to correctly startle her that when Mia opened her eyes, she seemed to be so surprised that she immediately sat:
« - My turn to startle you, huh?
- Ugh... you got me.
- Why are your eyes so red?
- Hum... just didn't sleep a lot. How did you know I was here? »
Seems like a lie... what happened? She couldn't help but feel concerned for her. Did something happen with Kris?
« - Kris sent a text to Fauna who sent a text to the group so that's how.
- I see... surprising she already has Fauna's number.
- Maybe... — Luna said while suspiciously looking at Mia's hickeys — a lot of things happened at this party when we left? »
This isn't really surprising considering of what happened at every party they had, friends looking at each other in some kind of way, friends making out, friends touching and feeling each other...
is that really how friends are supposed to act with each other?
« - Yeah... an eventful night. Anyway, who's coming?
- Apparently we're just waiting for Fauna and Kris.
- Hmm... — Mia thought how this would be a really awkward group — I wanted to apologize about yesterday.
- For what?
- About kissing Kris in front of you... though it's obvious you're taking a liking to her. »
As expected, Mia was really observant when it came to this kind of things. But she couldn't tell her about how she felt so she lied.
« - No–?
- I'm gonna take my distances anyway, it's better for the two of us. For all of us actually...
- What do you mean? »
Their conversation was cut off by Fauna and Kris arriving together as they were laughing loudly and they weren't even on the field yet. Luna wondered what Mia was even thinking about, you really couldn't read what she could be thinking about. By the looks of it, something indeed happened with Kris...
Once they saw Luna and Mia in the middle of the field, they walked towards them so Luna and Mia got up and walked towards them as well to greet them. They then sat in circle:
« - So what were you laughing about? We could hear you from here.
- Hmm... — Fauna looked at Kris while she was already looking at her — Secret!
- By the way... — Kris looked over Mia's neck — What's on your neck? Who burnt you? — Kris tried mocking Mia off to hide her jealousy —
- Don't you remember...? — Fauna asked while glanced at Kris first then stared at Mia — We both... hum... did it.
- What the hell? — Kris said in a reassured tone since she felt more reassured to know that she did it too —
- What the fuck happened yesterday? — Mia questioned —
- Am I even supposed to be here...? I feel like a fourth wheel. »
The four laughed while it lightened the situation which made Luna happy because of what happened yesterday. She was... barely even thinking about her first love, maybe she was finally seeing Kris as... Kris, another person. Right, they didn't share the same memories and they probably didn't even share the same interests and personality.
As they were talking and they were getting to know each other more, mostly trying to know more about Kris as she was the new one here though they still found out pretty interesting things about one another. At some point, Mia brought up the fact that Kris used to like skating before her accident which made Luna instantly remembered of the time Kris was teaching her to skate so it saddened her a bit. For some reason, she ended up suggesting that they should go around her place as the party tonight is right next to her place to try her skateboard out. What was she even doing...? She was only hurting herself. Everyone else excitedly agreed as they wanted to see if Kris would be good at it since Mia talked about the fact that Kris played the guitar so naturally even though she said she never played it.
By now they were finally by Luna's place, since they walked and talked, it was already sunset by then. It was the perfect time to skate, it wasn't warm at all because of the sun and the breeze was just nice to feel. There were two pairs made: Luna and Kris then Mia and Fauna. The more Luna looked at Kris, the more she realized that it really was the same person, the person she once loved. Looking at the way she dressed should've given it away from the beginning but she didn't recognize her since she had a new haircut, her hair was finally short the way she wanted. Maybe not yet exactly but it was far better from over a year ago where her parents totally forbid her from touching her hair, she was happy that she finally did what she wanted, she really shouldn't let her parents dictate her life ever again. Since Luna and Kris were talking about skates, Luna was already telling her about the basics before she could start skating. Kris listened so carefully and seriously to Luna which was funny to see because a while ago, it was Kris teaching her how to skate. Once Luna was on the skateboard, Kris jokingly said she was her model as she took out her phone to take pictures of her, this only made Luna feel flustered yet so flattered about being complimented by her.
Tonight tonight I need to be where you are
I need to be where you are
Hey you look around
Can you hear than noise it's a rebel sound
We got nowhere else to go
And when the sun goes down and we fill the streets
You're gonna dance till the morning to the rebel's beat
You can take everything from me
Cause this all I need
Mia excitedly put this music on speaker, it was surprising how it just fit the mood right perfectly, « and when the sun goes down and we fill the streets », that's what was exactly happening. Seeing Mia's satisfied reaction, it also lightened up everyone else's face. By then it was Kris' turn to try the skateboard out. Kris put one foot after the other on it, everyone was just so focused on her and kept silent, she slowly moved forward and she kept skateboarding by trying so hard to keep the balance. She was moving so smoothly that no even dared to say anything but then Kris got confident, way too confident, their compliments got to her head and as there was a handrail, they all knew what she was thinking with the way she was skating, she was going to take a risk on jumping on it. That's the moment where Luna realized that she has never changed, her soul remained. Only Kris was able to succeed such a thing with her skating skills but as she was about to jump on it, her body seemed out of balance and shaky and it was already too late to warn her. Gasps could be heard because Kris succeeded jumping over it and she still kept skating smoothly, if not even a bit faster than she first did as she got a grip of it. Luna remained speechless, at that right moment where Kris turned around to smile at them and reassure them that she was fine, she played the same exact scene in her head done by Kris over a year ago. It really... was her. The same looks, the same personality, the same interests... just not the same memories.
Fauna, Mia and Luna just sat by a bench while waiting for Kris to skate a bit more. Luna was... frustrated. She realized how bad this was going if she let Kris skate even more, she would end up hurting herself just like that day of her accident. She could've stopped that accident if she were only a few seconds ahead. And now she's stopping from the same tragedy to happen by making Kris avoid to even skate:
« - You could've hurt yourself really badly! — Luna yelled while taking her skateboard back —
- What's gotten into you? I was just...
- Maybe you think you were just having fun but from where I stood, your body lost balance and you could've been harmed pretty bad with that fall! You just got lucky!
- Well, my body lost balance because I hurt my knee last night...
- That's even worse! You shouldn't be skating if you're wounded, you're so unconscious!
- Why don't you calm down a bit? — Mia tried calming things while she put a hand on Luna's shoulder — Besides isn't skating all about risking? Specially you, Luna, you like taking risks so you have nothing to say!
- You're the one who... — Luna coldly brushed Mia's hand off her shoulder — doesn't have a say in this.
- You don't get to be like this with us because nothing happened to me anyway!
- I'm... sorry. I'm out of here. »
Luna stormed off while she skated away but before leaving, she crossed Mia's eyes and she looked like she was on the verge to cry, she hoped that Mia didn't notice the pain of suddenly remembering how she lost Kris felt like. Why did she even suggest letting Kris try her skateboard? Because of her own selfishness, because she just wanted to see how accurately they were the same person? Of course, she knew deep inside that it was still the same person.
But maybe it would help her move on more easily if she saw how different they were and apparently they aren't so different except for the fact that they didn't share the same memories which hurt even more.
« Why can't I just forget about you the same way you forgot me so easily? »
It seemed unfair that she could delete the songs, the messages, the pictures but she would never be able to delete the feelings felt from the memories.
Chapter 5 —
it was spring but, she could never feel the flowers blooming for her.
This was too much for Luna, the longer she stayed with the group, the more she was involved with Kris which was bad for both her and Kris herself. The best decision she could make for everyone was quitting the group... the thought of it made her sad but if she didn't do that, her feelings for Kris would be real and grow back to what they used to be. She couldn't just tell Mia that she wanted to leave the group because of her so she had to come up with something. She didn't wanna push Mia into making a choice, she couldn't give her an ultimatum. So instead she's making the tough decision for her, which is leaving herself. Maybe this way Mia would feel less guilty about having a thing with Kris, she wouldn't have to be distant with her. Everyone would be fine, everyone would be happy... and she was okay with that. Yet... she was crying as she told herself all of those things. Again, her lack of resolution was on her way. She couldn't lie to herself, she was scared of losing those precious friends she made over the year. She was finally happy once again... but maybe it isn't too bad going back to the boring life she had before meeting Mia, going back to reading books and fantasizing about runaways. She should've always admired things from afar, that way she wouldn't get attached and get this hurt. This time, she had to have the resolution she needed to protect her loved one. This time, she's not hesitating because it's for her sake. This time, she'd be able to look back and not regret what she did.
It was almost 3AM, you had the vulnerable version of people at that hour. Tons of people found themselves at the same time to send their riskiest text to their crush and they would regret it in the morning. Tears were left on Luna's phone as her fingertips got close to her keyboard, she was the one sending the riskiest text she could ever send to Mia. She couldn't bring herself to even write, her hands were shaking. She thought about all of those good times she spent with the group, parties from sunset till sunrise were the best and they were all close with each other because they had the authentic and vulnerable version of each one. She thought about all of those good times she spent with Mia, the midnight runaways from her mother, the long night talks and walks, the songs they bonded over together and just... the best summer she could've ever spent with someone was with Mia, with the group, with all of those people she'd soon call strangers.
« I have something important to tell you tomorrow. Let's meet at our usual spot in the late afternoon. »
She could already imagine Mia scolding her for sending such a dry and cold message which made her smile a tiny bit, it was just her way of typing texts. That smile quickly turned into a sad expression, she definitely wasn't ready to stop being friends with Mia. Not after she finally found herself and a friend group that genuinely cared for her, people that didn't force her into doing things she didn't want to do, it was honestly the best feeling to be yourself around friends who accept you for who you are. She indeed felt guilty for suddenly leaving... but she had to do this, otherwise staying by Kris' side will only bring both of them misfortunes.
She spent the night crying, she tried thinking about any other possible solutions but this was the only one. This was the best one so she wouldn't come to ruin Kris' life. She blamed herself for not coming a few seconds earlier before Kris got into that accident.
[ Flashback to the day of Kris' accident ]
Put my hands around your shoulders
That's the way that I hold ya
I could lay with you forever
I'm fallin' everyday
Something came over me
I give you everything
Over and Over a
I'm fallin' everyday
Kris and Luna were sitting somewhere at the skatepark while listening to music, it was a sunny day in spring. Listening to music was part of their routine, meeting at the same exact time and making each other listen to new songs.
« Bold of you to assume I didn't know this song. »
Luna said and they both chuckled. Kris was the first to stop laughing and she seriously looked at Luna this time which eventually made her stop giggling,
« Bold of you to assume that I didn't make you listen to this song to let you know how I feel... »
Luna's heart started to pound as soon as she said that, she knew the lyrics by heart.
« I wanna... uh... I just wanna pull you into a hug. Right... put my arms around your shoulders. »
Luna looked at Kris, not sure if she was processing what's going on. Kris was stuttering her words, she was probably feeling nervous. The thing is they have a friendship where they were really comfortable with each other but thinking about it, it wasn't the kind of "comfortable" where they would give each other affection such as hugging. So Luna understood why she was so nervous about asking her this... which is why she decided to tease her more about it by pulling her against her.
« You know you can just tell me that what you really want is... dancing with me. »
She put Kris' arms over her shoulders and put her hands on her waist. Wow, really bold move, Luna. Actually, Luna was a bit flustered by Kris' words, it was the first time their faces were that close to one another. And even though she was the one who pulled this bold move first, Luna couldn't remain calm with Kris being so close to her, her heart was beating so fast that she was scared that Kris would even hear it. But to her surprise, when she glimpsed at her, she saw Kris' flushed cheeks which didn't help her but get even more self aware about the situation. To avoid even being more embarrassed, she broke the silence:
« It's today... right? We have to show each other the lyrics we came up with. »
Kris' expressions were easily read on her face, particularly in her eyes. This time her cheeks were all reddish from that distance between them getting closer little by little, her eyes were also darting away as if she was having a hard time concentrating on Luna. She knew that Luna spoke but it seems like she didn't listen to the words she even said, Luna knew it by that lost look on her face. Luna found it really adorable that Kris was that easily readable, it gave her some comfort. When she finally realized what she had just said, she went "oh, right", she looked in her pockets then in her bag.
« I think... I dropped it. »
Kris looked so panicked, Luna understood though, she just lost something personal and she probably spent so much time coming up with the lyrics.
« - I– I'm going to look for it!
- Wait! It's fine. I can help you look for it.
- No! I'll do it, stay here for me please. I think I know where to find it. »
And just like that, Kris was gone. It had been over half an hour that she left, part of her actually wished that never finds it so she wouldn't have to show hers for now. She didn't... wanna show her the lyrics for now because they were way too personal, it's what she felt for her. She was about to finally leave to look for Kris but her words stuck in her mind...
« ... stay here for me please. »
She had to believe in her, she knew that she would soon startle her out of nowhere and pull her into her arms once again. It wouldn't be the last time she would feel Kris' arms around her, the feeling of her skin onto her. It was only a few seconds but... she knew that this moment was both special and intimate for both of them. But maybe actually it really would be the last time she would have her arms around her shoulders because now, she would have to tell her how she really feels and... Kris would never look at her the same, she would never feel comfortable by them being so close because Kris wasn't into physical contact and now specially if she were to confess to her, it would make things awkward. Besides... they were both girls, a love between them would never flourish. It was spring but, she could never feel the flowers blooming for her.
Yet she didn't want it to be the last time Kris would have her arms over her shoulders, she wanted to a bit more selfish this time and ask her for at least one last hug before Kris could even look at her as if she was some... stranger.
But one last hug from her wouldn't feel too bad as a goodbye. That's what gave her a reason to wait, she believed in Kris' words but she should've known better, she should've been already alarmed by how long she was taking to come back.
... That was it, Kris was taking way too much time. What if she has run into trouble? She went towards where Kris was headed using her skateboard to go faster. She heard a few people screaming and car's wheels braking abruptly so she skated even faster.
She saw a skateboard broken in two aside, a few inches away Kris was on the ground with a trail of blood that came from her body. Her heart had just dropped at the moment she saw her, she just collapsed onto the floor. People were probably screaming a making a fuss around her, the siren of the ambulance was probably much louder than anything on that road but the only thing she could hear was her own heartbeat and her chest tightening when she saw Kris' body not giving any signs of being alive.
... It was spring but, she could never feel the flowers blooming for her. It really was... the last time Kris put her arms around her shoulders, til this day she could feel the warmth she gave her.
[ End of flashback ]
When she woke up after pretty much sleeping only a few hours, her eyes were pretty swollen up since she cried all night. Reminiscing the past isn't always the best idea... but she was happy to see that Kris was doing well, after all, seeing her smile once again was all she ever wanted. She still really wanted one last hug from her... was it too much to ask? She wanted to feel that warmth again, the feeling of being wrapped around her arms would feel amazing and she knew if that happened, she would feel a thousand times better. But she couldn't be any more selfish than this, she had to think about Kris... because if that triggered her remembering her past, it would cost her her mental health. She felt bad after finding about that because she never noticed that all this time, Kris was suffering from a mental illness and she should've been more there for her but she doesn't have to worry anymore because Kris has Mia and this group, she would never be unhappy ever again.
Luna spent the day trying to catch some sleep so she would be able to face Mia more presentably, she eventually slept for a bit but she couldn't sleep well. No wonder though, her thoughts stopped her from sleeping more but maybe after all of this is done, she would finally be able to sleep... she had to pretend just this one last time.
It was time to see Mia... it was really nerve wrecking for Luna. She took a bit of her time to come to their meeting place since she was trying to figure out how she would put what she wanted to say into words. First she tried calming herself by admiring the scenery, the sky was so blue. Her feet were bringing her back to that same spot she met Mia, most of their long night talks happened there which made her think about all of the things they talked about. They both opened up to each other, they let their hearts speaking to each other. And now, it seemed like meeting her was faith. After all, she's learned so much with Mia. She's learned how to take risks that led her to the best adventures she could ever have in her life, the risks were worth being taken because she could finally elope the boring life she was stuck with. Too bad that soon, she had to go back to that same boring life... but it's much better than living a life knowing she has ruined someone else's just by being in it.
Their meeting place was their usual spot, the first place where they met. The wind freshened her considering it was still a summer day even though it was in the late afternoon, the sound of the wind hitting tree leaves was soothing and it made her loosen up a bit. She took a deep breath before joining up Mia who was already there, in the middle of the grass. As some sort of ritual each time they greeted each other, there was a silence, a comfortable one. Mia broke the silence:
« What's your name, pretty girl... with pretty taste in music? »
clearly imitating herself the first time she met Luna which instantly made her giggle, it was really a good memory to look back on. It reminded her how things felt easy back then with Mia, she really helped her move on from tough times.
« Hum... I'm Luna. You must have good taste in music too if you listen to The Neighbourhood as well. »
Since then, The Neighbourhood became some kind of symbol of their friendship. This couldn't help but bring warm memories to both of them so they started talking about time like it was the old days as if so many thing happened since. Which was the case... too many things happened to the point they didn't know what was happening currently in each other's life. By the little time they were given, it's like they were catching the time they didn't get to talk to each other. This saddened Luna a bit, they were finally talking but this had to be their last time. But at the same time, it's something she wouldn't regret doing, it's for Kris' sake and she knew she was leaving her in good hands. Such a shame that it was the last time she would talk about The Neighborhood with her, the last time they would talk about good old memories and the last time they would be able to laugh together. Saying goodbye was never easy and it'll never be...
Never thought you would
Take everything we had and up and leave
You didn't even call or wish me sweet dreams
Really thought we made a sweet team
But don't cry, can't you see that you're a love of mine
Sweet dreams, always thought you were the sweetest thing
But don't cry, consider this a lullaby
« Each time I hear this song, it makes me think of you. »
Luna said and Mia didn't say anything until the end of the song as she was listening carefully to the lyrics of the song:
« - Is it because I'm sweet?
- Maybe. — Luna chuckled — It's surely because a lot of songs remind me of you. Because I always think how you'd enjoy listening to them. »
But actually, this song was Luna's way to send her a goodbye and she didn't want to leave her with a bitter feeling but rather a sweet one,
« Sweet dreams, always thought you were the sweetest thing. But don't cry, consider this a lullaby »
« - I mean... thank you, I'm flattered. Hum... — Mia paused a bit before finishing her sentence — why didn't you reply to Kris' messages yesterday night? Sorry, I couldn't help but ask this question.
- Oh, I-... I just didn't receive her messages. Can you let her know? »
Yikes. Luna was too busy crying and being too anxious about sending Mia that one text... also because she was purposely ignoring her. It was for her sake.
« - Huh... fair enough. — This left a bit of a silence in their conversation before Luna carried on the conversation —
- So you're probably wondering why I made you come here, right?
- No kidding, I was nervous on my way here.
- Oh, sorry... well– »
Luna felt actually sorry after hearing that, she didn't realize that she was making her nervous as well. This wasn't probably the best situation to be in...
« - Before you tell me, can I ask you something?
- Hum, yeah?
- Is Kris... the person I was with? Since you know, I forgot some of my memories...
- I don't... think so. I don't think I can reply to this question. I'm sorry, Mia. »
Sorry to break it to you, Mia but... Luna was actually the person she was with– Okay, maybe that was dramatic but if they had a romantic relationship, she was pretty sure that she'd be the first to know.
« - No, it's fine. Well, you were telling me? — Mia fadingly said —
- Things have been hard for me lately, I don't think I can do this anymore... so I'm going to stop hanging out with the group.
- Wait, what? Can you repeat, please?
- I don't think I can hang out with any of you anymore... it's starting to take a toll on me, it's bringing me bad memories back.
- What do you mean? I don't understand why you're suddenly being like this...
- Listen, I've thought about this a lot before... — Luna's voice started to crack up as she was sobbing — taking this decision. But I can't do this anymore. And god, this is awful, it feels like I'm breaking up with someone...
- Well, that's not really fair... — Mia wiped Luna's tears off — You're kind of breaking my heart, here.
- I swear, it's not your fault.
- Is it because of... Kris?
- I can't... reply to that question. »
Of course it was, it's for her. But Luna couldn't tell her the truth and she couldn't lie any more to Mia...
« It seems like you're avoiding any questions about Kris. And this is already giving me answers... Besides this isn't just a decision you can't take just alone, Luna, I'm here to help you find other solutions if this decision is really hurting you. »
Mia knew what right words to say to make her heart sway, to reach her... it made things harder for her. She wished it could be that easy to just give in to Mia's sweet words.
« - I really don't think there are any...
- Does this mean that the two of us are gonna stop hanging out as well?
- No, of course not. Just that I'm going to take my distances from you too...
- It's practically the same... I don't want a half hearted friendship with you, Luna.
- But I can't let my heart break even more... I'm sorry for being selfish.
- You really are being quite selfish here... but I'm not gonna impose anything on you any further, this is solely your decision. Can I know why are you suddenly like this? It doesn't seem like it's only because of some memories began to surface.
- I can't tell you right now, I need to think about whether it's a good decision or not to do so.
- You're really not trusting me?
- None of that, Mia, I trust you a lot. Way more than you think. But I really need to think this through alone...
- Well... — Mia pulled Luna into the tightest hug possible — Take your time, Luna. I don't wanna think this a farewell. »
Right after Mia said the word "farewell", Luna held her even more tightly. Of course Luna didn't want this to be a farewell either... They both knew that this could be the last time they were hugging each other so they enjoyed their last seconds together. Luna felt really lucky for having been friends with someone like Mia who only brought her joy in her life. They both didn't want this to be the last time... but it wasn't something that Mia could stop nor anyone, Luna obviously wanted to take Mia's words for it, she wanted to be able to be saved again yet she couldn't just keep on asking her help, she had to learn how to do things on her own this time. Luna held her even tighter, it sucked that she didn't have much of a choice. After finally having a heart to heart discussion, they went separate ways. Actually, Luna was the one who left as she noticed Mia staying. Luna couldn't just stay any longer, it would've hurt more. She would've been able to take back what she said if she saw the way Mia looked at her even more. It was like leaving a stray kitten alone, if she stared longer at those eyes, she would never be able to leave her.
But this time she decided to, unlike Hamlet, have the resolution to do things for her loved ones.
Chapter 6 —
fingertips on her lips, she wished it was her lips instead.
It's been a week since Luna had that talk with Mia and each time she thought about it, it hurt her more than she expected it to. She didn't know whether if it was a good or bad decision but she wasn't the type of person who'd easily take bake their decision so she had to hold herself back. And this time, her resolve was the only thing pushing her to keep on carrying on because this time, there's no space to mistakes. There's no space for hesitant thoughts...
For the past few days to distract her mind, she had been skating with her best friend, Lana. Lana had an average height but she was slightly talker than Luna, she also had brown short mid length hair even though she told herself all high school to not cut it. Apparently... she had a change of heart whatever what that was supposed to mean. She always had this cute and dorky smile sticked to her face, you wouldn't often see her with frowned eyebrows. They soon became the closest friends even though they had only knew each other for months. It was all thanks to their similar name, people often mistook both of their names with one another at their school. They also had so many things in common, the fact that they were the only ones who truly understood each other and this made them have so many inside jokes together, people around them thought how they were right for each other because of the complicity they had. Among the things they had in common was skating so they often skated together, also with Lana's friends. Her friends were... particular. They didn't seem to like her but they didn't seem to hate her either, they just didn't look very delighted to see her each time Lana came along with her at the skatepark.
So now... she found herself at the skatepark with Lana's friends. It was a sunny afternoon, the sun's rays slightly touching them as much as they tried to hide in the shadow so they wouldn't get sunburnt. It was pretty awkward because for some reason, Lana decided to leave them to skate alone for a bit. Luna tried convincing Lana so hard to not leave them together or if she could at least skate with her but to her luck, Lana told her to stay put. And well... as her best friend, this was the least she could do. Get along with her friends. But the tensions were building up as it was starting to get harder to breathe for Luna, at times like these it was just suffocating. Her overrunning thoughts, the mood... the fucking heat of summer, Jesus Christ. Fortunately, there was music from their speaker so she tried hard focusing on the music so she wouldn't realize how suffocating the actual situation is.
Something is off, I can't explain
You know what I mean, don't you?
Something I saw, or something I did that made me like this
Could you help me?
We need to fly ourselves before someone else tells us how
It felt exactly like this, she couldn't explain what was wrong to begin with. Lana's friends were nice persons... she just didn't feel comfortable with them, she felt left out and she didn't feel like she fit in well. She felt like she was overreacting but she couldn't just help but feel overwhelmed by her thoughts.
So, so, I'll probably take you aside
And tell you what's on my mind
But you, you'll just keep it inside
Probably tell me that you're alright
The Neighbourhood had this power of calming her down so quickly and if she had to count all of the times that their music actually stopped her from having panic or anxiety attacks... there'd be countless of them. After calming herself down, she slightly smiled because her thoughts were eventually driven to Mia, her neighbor buddy, that was... their inside joke. Realizing who she was thinking about again, she quickly got frustrated, making her bite her lips.
Luckily, she saw Lana from afar coming back. Behind her, there was a shorter girl following her. Luna had to squint her eyes to see better but even with her glasses, she couldn't really guess who it was. But to her surprise, it was Kris. The person she both the least and the most wanted to see...
« My name's... Kris. »
Both Kris and Lana were panting because they were both running, Kris didn't seem to know what they were even running for but Lana's usual smile indicated that she was just excited to "introduce" her to them. Could Luna be actually happy deep inside about their meeting? The two were surprised to see each other as they pointed at each like that Spiderman meme which made everyone else laugh, lifting up the heavy mood there was earlier. Eventually, everyone asked how they knew each other and were amazed by the coincidence, how the world is so small. The two explained they met less than two weeks ago and they were just... acquaintances. But what no one knew is they actually used to be close... it's funny how could they just label their relationship like that, how they could just reduce that into one word. It pained her that it had to be reduced to that word, from... close friends to acquaintances. Even Lana didn't know about Kris, about Luna's first love... that's just how secretive she was to people, even the closest to her. If Lana knew about it and Kris specifically, she wouldn't be in this situation to begin with, she would have never brought Kris to Luna and her friends. That's how it worked, best friends don't bring you near the one who taught you love through pain even if Kris didn't mean all of that harm... she couldn't be blamed. They carried on the conversation for a bit, Kris was already fitting in unlike Luna who, til this day, didn't feel welcome in their group friend.
After awhile though, they had to leave so Kris decided to keep them company until the exit of the skatepark:
« - Thanks a lot for the skateboard, Lana! And I'm glad to meet all of you.
- It's a pleasure for us too! »
Luna thought this was the opportunity to leave as well, she couldn't stay longer with Kris after all. But before she could seize that opportunity, Lana whispered to her:
« You should stay with Kris. She's really good at skating so she'd be fitting to our friend group. Don't let this one escape! »
Luna knew that what Lana meant by that was for it to be less awkward in their friend group as she didn't get along well with her friends and if she had someone she knew, it would make things easier for her and for everyone. Luna was thankful that she was that considerate of her feelings... but something took her interest, the fact that Kris is far from giving up skating. Eventually, both Kris and Luna were left alone at the skatepark.
« - I should probably head back home in a bit...
- No, I wanted to talk with you!
- Hum... about what?
- First, you didn't reply to my messages.
- Oh, sorry, I don't reply to people I don't save the number of–
— Kris took Luna's phone from her hand then also handed it back to Luna embarrassingly so Luna could enter her code, when Luna gave back the phone to her, Kris put her own number in it —
- There! Now you have no excuse unless you're really ignoring me.
- Well, can I go now?
- If you're really not ignoring me, hang out with me. »
One thing didn't change, Kris was still stubborn as she could ever be. It would sometimes get to her nerves but deep inside she was happy that Kris was like this... it made her happy to know that she somehow needed her– Fuck, there's no time to be all flattered by this.
« - Why should I even do that?
- Because Lana told you to stay.
- Eavesdropping much...?
- Nope, actually that's the only thing I heard and I didn't mean to, she was the one who said it way too loud.
- Just to tell you this, I'm not entitled to do anything you want–
- And... I wanted to apologize for what happened a week ago.
- You don't have to, I just got carried away... Besides if it brings me back bad memories, it's solely my fault and hence I decided to stop hanging out with the group.
- Oh, so that's what happened...
- Mia didn't tell you?
- No, she's been cold since.
- I'm sorry for that. »
Was this also affecting Mia the same way it was affecting her...? She thought that Mia would haven't been so touched by it since they were already drifting apart so knowing this slightly moved her.
« - But you should come back!
- It's complicated, Kristen.
- What did you say?
- It's complicated.
- No, what did you call me?
- I'm really sorry, I got it wrong– Oh! It's actually because Mia introduced you to me as "Kristen"... »
Luna felt so dumb after making that mistake, she just hoped that Kris would buy it.
« That makes sense. I prefer being called Kris for some reason... I don't know, since someone started calling me Kris, it's like they gave me a new name and it felt so good coming from their mouth. »
And Kris' words had this power of making her heart melt, even if she forgot everything... that memory still remained in her heart, huh?
« - I really should go.
- So, — Kris completely ignoring what Luna has said — how did you meet Lana and your other friends?
- I met our other friends because they're actually Lana's friends. And... as you can notice, Lana and I almost have the same name so back in high school, people used to confuse us so that's how we basically met and since then, it kinda felt like faith, you know?
- Anyway, I'm going–
— Before Luna could get up, Kris interrupted and took her by her hand —
- Let's do a race with our skateboards! If I win, you owe me a milkshake because it'd mean you shouldn't have yelled at me the other day. If you win, I owe you a milkshake because it'd mean that you were right for getting mad at me.
- You heard me right! The only reason I apologized is because I might've brought you bad memories... but I'm still not okay with the fact you yelled at me! »
After Kris ended that sentence, she got ready and Luna did the same shortly after recollecting her own thoughts:
« On the count of three... one, two, three! »
with their competitive spirit, it was obvious they didn't want to let the other win so they were pretty serious about this. They skated with all their will and power but Kris was taking even more and more steps ahead of Luna as she already had a head start and she reached the end of the race but as she was about to get off the skateboard, she fell:
« - Kris! — Luna skated even faster to get until Kris — Are you okay? Can you get up? — Luna helped Kris getting up — »
Luna helped Kris walking until the bench and she was surprisingly really kind and careful with Kris:
« - I guess I lost against you.
- I fell so that's karma... this completely makes what I said ridiculous!
- It's fine, don't be so harsh on yourself.
- I won't be satisfied until I entirely won...
- You already a head start so I can't say much about that.
- How bout we call it even for now? So we owe each other a milkshake and we have to settle this another time!
- I don't know, Kris... I'm sorry but I didn't even agree to compete against you to begin with and I already told you, I can't hang out with you any–
— Kris grunted because of her knee that was still hurting —
Ugh... — Luna sighed — Come with me, I'm going to take care of that. »
It seemed like each time Luna was about to go, things seemed to go Kris' way... how convenient it was to her, huh? Luna took Kris away with her to take care of her at her place since she lived by the skatepark. As soon as they got there, Luna took care of her wound that got opened since which made Kris groan even louder. After a bit, her face was clearly saying she felt better after some treatment:
« - Hey, um, thank you... Luna.
- It's fine. Do you need anything else?
- Okay, just stay on my bed, don't move around too much and I'll fetch us some snacks. »
Luna took a few snacks into her bedroom and gave them to Kris with a drink:
Luna found it ironic that over a year ago, it was Kris taking care of her wounds when she would fall over her skateboard and seeing Kris' amazed expression amused Luna as everything could be read on her face. It was good to see she hasn't changed a bit...
Don't you tell me that it wasn't meant to be
Call it quits
Call it destiny
Just because it won't come easily
Doesn't mean we shouldn't try
Kris and Luna were peacefully listening to some songs, they were also talking and Kris was just so glad to finally have someone she could genuinely talk to.
« Doesn't mean we shouldn't try »
Kris softly whispered as if she was trying to send her a subliminal message. Obviously, this did something to Luna. What did Kris mean by that...? Was it her subconscious talking? What if... she was suddenly remembering her? Suddenly, her thoughts were interrupted by Kris:
« - Can I ask you a favor, Luna?
- I hate favors but go ahead.
- Can you please... take off your glasses?
- No way!
- Please, just for a bit? — Kris did her best to do puppy eyes. Actually, she didn't have to do her best because she always has puppy eyes... — »
When Luna finally let her guard down, Kris took off her glasses hence she tried to hide her face because she was surprised of Kris' act. Luna couldn't look at Kris right into the eyes, she was so embarrassed to show her bare face. She had always been insecure of the bags under her eyes, her glasses allowed her to hide that. Come to think of it... even before Kris' accident, she'd always ask her to take her glasses off just for her because it apparently showed her natural beauty which would always make her flustered.
A heavy silence set in for Luna, who had unexpectedly caught Kris' full attention. The silence got heavier and only her palpitating heart could be heard in her chest. She ended up hiding her face behind her hands, she could feel Kris' gaze upon her face which only made her heart beat faster. Kris began to complain:
« No... NO! I still want to contemplate your face. »
she said it without realizing the impact it had on Luna who was already really embarrassed. Luna's heart couldn't keep a normal pace as she stared into Kris' eyes, if only she could shut her heartbeats up.
« You're beautiful... »
Luna noticed how Kris stuttered her words which made her realize that she wasn't the only one who was nervous here. She noticed how satisfied Kris looked, how she missed to see that smile on her face. Unable to contain her joy, she smiled like a dork, which made Luna smile back. Kris has a smile that makes you smile without even realizing it, when Luna saw Kris' smile she was more than overwhelmed by the feelings and emotions suddenly coming back. How Kris' smile was her favorite, how she would do anything to get that smile back... which honestly scared her because she was capable of doing anything for her. Both of them were too preoccupied in their own thoughts as if they were under a spell, both in trance.
But Luna noticed that Kris was approaching her face to hers which made her panic:
« Kris! »
Kris seemed to finally recollect herself
« I'm– »
she instantly backed off and Luna thought to herself,
« Maybe I shouldn't have stopped her... »
but no, she couldn't just do that. Kris would regret it all over again... this isn't what she wants, what Kris wants and who she has in her mind currently is Mia. And this will hurt her even more if she let her have her ways... Kris immediately apologized and she passed it off as a joke, her suddenly getting her face closer to hers was so she could stare at her features more efficiently as a flirty joke which made Luna blush. The more Luna stared into Kris' eyes, the more she noticed how her dark brown eyes were so deep and they always expressed anything she would feel at the moment, this comforted her because she always seemed so honest and genuine at the same time. This time, Kris had again that look she had a few seconds ago, a look she had never seen Kris having before, a look filled with so many emotions and desires. And at this same instant, she realized that this wasn't meant for her...
They ended up being so close to each other, but neither of them wanted to let go of that moment, they were both mesmerized by the situation, a certain tension and mood rose, Luna couldn't help but stare at Kris' lips. Ugh, of course she was still drawn to her lips. Just how many times she wished she could pressed her lips against hers... whether if she was drunk or sober. She didn't even realize that the distance between their lips was getting close but suddenly, sounds of keys rang out, frightening the two of them who immediately backed off. Kris quickly got out of bed and put her things away, the mother entered the room to check on her daughter and find out who the stranger was:
« - Good evening missus! I'm Kris and I'm a friend of Luna, your daughter took care of my wounds while we were–
- While we were outside, clumsy my friend is, she fell. »
Luna can't let her mother know about her going back to skating once again, because apparently it's such an unladylike activity.
« - Hello, Kris, no need to call me missus as that makes me sound older than I already am, call me miss Miller. And why don't you let her join us for dinner, Luna?
- Well, Kris has something important after.
- More important than meeting your mother?
- Mom– Mother, she has to dine with her parents. Right, Kris? »
If her mother were to know that Kris was into girls, which was already pretty obvious by the way she dressed without being offensive, she would have suspicions on her own daughter's frequentations hence on her sexuality. She just hoped that Kris would play along...
« Right! Thank you for the offer though, I'm really grateful. Maybe next time for sure... miss Miller? »
Kris nodded before taking off with Luna that kept her company until the entrance of their house:
« - See you tomorrow, Luna.
- What do you mean?
- Lana's skate. — Kris whispered and winked at Luna before finally leaving — »
Kris looked so amused on her way out.
« Damn, that girl... »
Luna thought to herself. She quickly jumped into her bedroom to avoid further questions from her mother. She touched her lips with her fingertips, slowly imagining if only it was Kris' lips instead. Driven by hey own thoughts, it made her whole body ache from the lack of touch and maybe it wasn't just lust, it was love as well. She bit her own lip, frustrated she was, this had to be the last time she'd see her first love.
« Who was that young lady? »
Her mother suddenly barged into her bedroom, she noticed how sarcastic she sounded. She crossed her fingers for her mother not to see the hidden skateboards...
« - It's an old fr–... acquaintance. We really aren't close at all, I just had to help her since she tripped over.
- This better be the last time you're hanging out with her.
- Don't worry, I don't plan on hanging out with her anymore...
- Good, you can't let anyone see you with that tomboy. If it's someone who happens to know me, it'll ruin my reputation. »
This was enough to change Luna's mood, she went from smiling really sheepishly to having her eyebrows frowned. Luna mumbled,
« You only think about your reputation... only about yourself. »
It was her own life, she couldn't possibly choose what gender she would be into. Feelings aren't something you can control, if only she could, she would have given up those feelings ages ago...
« - What did you say?
- Nothing. Pardon me, mother.
- Don't you dare talking back to me, you know what will happen if you do.
- Yes, ma'am... »
Her mother left her bedroom which left her such a bitter feeling in her throat. She hated how controlling her mother was towards her, how she would always tell her what kind of daughter she should be and if by the next second, she were to tell her what kind of mother she should be, she would obviously be yelled at and more restricted. The only times she felt free were when she went abroad, it felt good to be alone in that apartment and without the chains she was tying her up with. It crossed Luna's mind that if her mother wasn't homophobic, if it would have made things different for her. And not so much, of course, she would be more accepting of herself, she would have been able to comfortably come out to Kris and she wouldn't have come with such an obvious made up lie to Mia. But... this wasn't the only thing that stopped her, it was probably the chains she put herself; how she hated taking risks, among them was falling in love.
« I was... still in love with Alex. But you made me forget him, you made me want to move on so I did. The adventure you took me to was beyond amazing, all the things you made me do, all the things you showed me and all the things you told me. I loved all of it. And I knew I mattered at least for a bit, you made me feel special. [...] you don't love me. You loved the risks we made each other take, you loved the extent we were capable to take things to. »
In fact, Luna and Mia were never in love... they just connected so well that they thought they were in love with each other. They were mostly in love with the idea they had of each other, "the extent we were capable to take things to". And maybe they connected in a way no one ever could, they tried forgetting the person they were originally in love because things were easier between the two of them. Mia made her want to finally move on and stop holding on on something she doesn't need to anymore. Mia made things feel so easy for Luna, she was the only one who was able to make her feel she could make a choice to run away from the life she was stuck with. Mia indeed made her forget about the problems she had for a slight second, she made her forget who she was, she made her forget what her name sounded like. But these good days soon came to an end... and what if she could just run away to a place where no one knows her name? A fresh new start.
« what time tomorrow, miss? »
Luna received a message from Kris and actually at first, she couldn't help but smiling upon the notification. Realizing what her reaction was, she shook her head.
« 4pm. »
Did that seem too dry? Luna wasn't exactly the best texter, Lana often scolded her for being too dry in her texts because it didn't seem she was excited to see anyone...
« - Okay. Gotta "dine with my parents"
- Sure. Eat well, Kris.
- Didn't know you were such a good liar... Miller, Mi-liar? »
This for sure annoyed Luna, she wasn't a good liar at all. Or maybe what frustrated her was the fact that she could convince herself that the lies she made up were the truth...
« - I was protecting you, you'd rather have not my mother on your back.
- C'mon you don't know me! I'm a good girl, she would've liked me. »
That's where Kris was wrong, it was exactly because Luna knew so well... and it hurt to be reminded the fact that she forgot her. She knew that if Kris stayed over, her mother would have made Kris hate both her and her own daughter, she just had this absolute power of... manipulating people's emotions and feelings around her, she could choose to make people like her or dislike her. The discussion between her and her mother confirmed how despicable she could be towards other to protect that reputation she built for herself.
« - I might not know you but I know my mom.
- and why are you hiding the fact that you skate? »
Nosy as always, huh? Not that Luna hated the fact that Kris was curious of each thing she did or said but this wasn't exactly the time to be closer friends... no, it was actually the time to put an end to this.
Dusk soon came in, it was almost 10pm. Funny how an hour could remind her of Mia... it reminded her of that same night, where she finally felt comfortable of showing Mia she was into girls and she came in terms with it in some kind of way. Maybe she should've seized that occasion to tell mia that her first love wasn't a "he" but a "she"... but it doesn't matter anymore now anyway. On a sigh out of exasperation, she decided to give Lana a call in order to give her her skateboard back, it was time to stop this... nonsense with Kris. She waited for her mother to fall asleep who'd easily fall asleep after dinner because she's a... "busy woman who works all day".
When Luna got outside, she decided to go to her spot before going to the skatepark to meet Lana. She used Lana's skateboard to her spot, only to go faster. Her heart was pounding by the time she finally arrived there, she couldn't tell if it was because she was skating all along or if she was hoping to see someone she knows and just having that someone in her thoughts made her heart race that fast.
She used to meet me on the Eastside
In the city where the sun don't set
And every day you know that we ride
Through the backstreets of a blue Corvette
Baby, you know I just wanna leave tonight
We can go anywhere we want
Drive down to the coast, jump in the seat
Just take my hand and come with me, yeah
Clearly the lyrics of this song were the words she wanted to hear the most. She just... wanted to be found. To be found, to be asked to run away once again in a place where no one knows their names. How free would she feel if it were to happen?