Why I started this
Well, let me start off by introducing myself.
My name is Filomena Vicente (and more recently) De Sousa. Starting this is pretty much out of my comfort zone, but I’m excited nonetheless.
So a little background. I have a huge passion for children and teaching, therefore I pursued teaching as a career, I taught for about 2 years and it was one of the greatest experiences of my life. I got married on the 17th of January 2021 and my whole world changed (in a great way), however, I find myself craving responsibility and work. I then decided to complete a TEFL course (which was great) but finding work online seems impossible (I’m still trying).
Which brings me to the reason I started this journey. I find myself having all these new experiences and challenges that I want to showcase in some way, which I’ll be able to reflect back on or perhaps even help someone who might be going through something similar. So bear with me, this is just a mixture of me and the parts of my life that I want to share. I hope you enjoy!
My COVID wedding
Okay, where do I begin? Let’s start at the beginning… my husband proposed to me on the 7th of December 2019 and we started planning our wedding in January of 2020.
We booked and secured a date (13 September 2020), we had all the important planning and securing done really early and everything was going smoothly.
Then COVID struck and my husband and I grew more and more anxious that our wedding was going to be affected, we then decided to postpone our wedding to the 17th of January 2021, decrease our numbers by a load (mainly extended family) we shouldn’t have changed the date, because it turns out that our initial date would have been unaffected in terms of numbers and the celebration, but we went with it. We would be so nervous every time the president spoke, wondering how would it compromise us and our wedding.
The president spoke a few days before our wedding and my heart broke, I was in tears, my husband and I felt defeated. No gatherings were allowed and religious gatherings were all prohibited. We were not prepared to postpone yet again and go through all of that heartache again. We cut our numbers even further (only allowing immediate family). It was a restaurant setting (which was allowed) and after the ceremony we had lunch, cut our cake, and took some pictures. Our wedding ended at 16:00.
I was so hurt that we didn’t get to have our family, our bridesmaids, all our groomsmen and our friends there, our first dance and a lot of the traditional things that make a wedding a wedding.
Most of our vendors were incredible, so understanding and helpful, however we did have a problem with one of our biggest vendors and it was disappointing that they couldn’t see how this was completely out of our control, but we decided to cut our losses and enjoy ourselves.
I was so shocked to find out that so many couples that were scheduled to get married in the upcoming weeks and months broke up. It saddened me that COVID and all the craziness was just too much for some people (and I get it because planning a wedding is intense, but planning a wedding during a pandemic almost feels impossible).
I think the one thing that sticks with me the most when looking back at everything, is that I’m married and to the love of my life, I’m enjoying our married life so much and all that comes with being married.
If I can offer any advice it would be:
1) Try and pay for things as close to the wedding as possible.
2) Don’t postpone, until you know for sure you need to.
3) Communicate with your partner exactly how you’re feeling.
4) If things don’t go as you’ve planned just make most of what you’ve got (I know it’s a cliché, but it’s so true. As much control as you have or think you have, that could all change in the blink of an eye).
5) And lastly, if you know of someone who is planning to get married during all this uncertainty be sensitive towards them because you have no idea what they are actually going through.
The way I see it is you have the rest of your life with this person and there are so many celebrations to come in the future.
If you’re getting married during these super abnormal times, I get you, I know what you’re feeling and going through, but I also know that God is great and whatever is for you, nothing and no one can take away.