Miguel

I’ve been thinking about the little gifts I could give you since the start of our relationship. I’ve always loved letting the people I care about feel that I care about them through random gifts that remind me of them. Gifts for you, however, are a bit more tricky to plan, given our situation right now and I can’t personally give them to you yet. You’ve always expressed your love for me through all your different talents. And although I can’t show you how I feel about you through the same craft that you give, the best I could do right now is to at least make you hopefully feel the same love you give me through something I feel I’m pretty okay at — through writing.

I remember the time you asked me why I liked you and I couldn’t even answer you properly. I thought about that question a lot. I still think about it, honestly. But throughout the start of our relationship to now, I’ve been discovering different reasons why I grew, and am still growing, more fond of you.

I’ve always admired how you care for the people around you. And as I got to know you more, you just proved how devoted you are to your family and your friends. I love how you love them, and I can tell how much they love you back. You are loved, and you gained another person in your life who will love and care for you the way you should be.

You’ve been nothing but good to me. Even as friends, you were. After I said no the first time (sorry lol) you were still there, and you were there for me as my friend. You never asked for anything in return, and you just cared. You’ve always cared about me more than you should.

I know I always tease you about our younger selves but honestly, I’m glad we didn’t end up together the first, or even the second time. We needed a lot of growing, and I like to believe that our pasts, as awful as they have been, made us know better — about ourselves, about our boundaries, and about what we actually need. I’m so proud of the man you’ve become. I’m thankful for the people we grew up to be, and I can tell that we’re better versions of ourselves, for our own selves and for each other.

I still can’t thank you enough for waiting for me, so patiently, even when I didn’t show you any signs of reciprocity. Looking back, I can’t believe I wasted so much time with half assed people when you were right there all along, ready to give. I’m thankful I wasn’t too late when I finally realized I was starting to grow feelings for you and that I did want to try this with you after all.

As challenging long distance is, especially in this situation (stupid covid making everything extra difficult haha), I’d rather have this with you, than to not have anything with you at all. Everything just felt right and fell into this beautiful place the moment we tried. And although this is just the beginning and we’ve got such a long way to go, with a lot of things to prove, I find comfort in the fact that we’ll be facing all of this together, though physically apart, but together — just until we can be with each other for good. I know this is just a random love letter and not at all anything grand, but what I can wholeheartedly give right now is all my love summed up here. I have the rest of our lives to make it up to you. I love you so much Miguel, happy valentine’s day baby.