Classically cool and hasn’t given a f*ck since 1996, Charlie is a virgo sun and sagittarius moon who believes Bigfoot is just a shy loner who doesn’t want to be found.

Ze chillest cat in ze whole world, Jean Paul bought hiz zunglasses from an antiques shop owned by a widow in ze lovely city of Paris. Jean Paul also wantz you to know zat he waz listening to Talking Heads before zey were ‘cool.’

The cool lesbian you wish you were, Allison (a.k.a Al) took a gap year after high school to help clean up beaches in Mexico and she once bested God in a surfing competition in Hawai’i. Yeah, you’ll never be as cool as her.

The first time Susan tried weed was in 1968 in the back of her Grandpa’s pick-up truck that she “borrowed” and drove to Oregon in, never returning. She hasn’t not been high since. Her daughter, Moon Beam Indigo Rain, runs a crystal shop out of Colorado Springs that is rumored to house an alien in the back. Moon Beam Indigo Rain refuses to entertain this rumor.