Today, after 3 months, I sat at the foot of my bed on a hot summer night and thought of you. Not just thinking about you, like a passing thought, like the ones I have when I pass the pizza place you loved so much in the city or an inside joke we shared while eating a burrito bowl.

I thought of you with all my being. The way the sun feels in a summer afternoon, hot and seething, I thought you that way.
I closed my eyes and held my hand out in the dark to touch your face as though only inches away. I felt the soft skin of your cheek and the hair on it I love so much. I left the little grove on the side, your dimple getting deeper as your smile got wider. The other hand touched the back of your neck, right at the spot where you have a mole hidden. I could feel you, so close, so real. Only to remember I was trying to touch you out of nothingness.

And that’s all that there was left of you, of us, nothing. 🥀