i’ve got some doodles and dabbles for us to discuss

doing this for the under-stimulated and colorfully deviated. i want to make things people could feel through their eyes. i like to make things that people will know between their thighs; visual poems of erotica, femininity, womanhood, power reclamations, and other essences of being.

what a life on this noisy rock, right?
craving the magic of voice and discussion, summoning the movements that create the worlds we love/live in.

with LOTS to live for, and even more to learn.
i believe that every single one of us has a place for their voice and vessel. and someday id like to be able to help create somewhere like that for quiet souls who want somewhere safe to nurture themselves. a place where visions can manifest, where existential vines can twine and beautiful things can be born.
right now, the most i can do is virtual real estate.
so. here. we. are

if you’re down to grow together so we can go there together, then stick around and we can chat; have a little tea and share our stories about the things that give us life

the end of December closed with the best metaphorical fireworks I’ve ever experienced. Gratitude expands from being an anchor to center the self, to actualizations of all the hard work and love we’ve put into our lives. Our feet may be cold but our hearts are warm. Wet roots and a strong core mean more fruit to bare in this new year. Looking forward to sharing the blessings and more news of good things to come.

Things Still Grow In The Winter

I’ve been enjoying the chill mornings more. Something special about the search for comfort as the days get colder. It’s a good time to take in blessings and see what we’ve been able to harvest this year on the spiritual and mental plane.

Fall Has Finally Reached The Bay

Airing It Out

Living In Science Fiction

3 Types of Activities to Help You Enjoy Life In Quarantine

Using this time to keep yourself mind-full

Sometimes it takes nationwide mandatory isolation for us to slow down long enough to check in on ourselves.
The world is at a slow down.
And although these are uneasy and challenging times for all of us, we have the capacity to reframe our circumstances.

Reflective Writing

Documenting or getting your thoughts down can be very therapeutic in isolation. As a species, we have a tendency to get stuck in our heads.

Using literature, listing, storytelling, journaling and poetry as tools of reflection can help release some of that inner dialogue.
With balancing two jobs and maintaining my life, this has been the most effective way to take off some mental and emotional weight; or if I just need to make some room in a cluttered brain.
There is more than one way to have a meditative practice.

Crafts and Creations

What better time than now to start a new DIY or finish that cartoon or craft project you’ve been thinking about finishing or haven’t even started!

Nourishing The Hearth

Whether it’s something as simple as making a healthy meal for yourself, watering and tending to the plants or even re-organizing the living room. With all this extra time in the house, it’s nice to finally reap the benefits of your home and really make it home-y.

She, In Her Youth

Do you ever look back or try to pinpoint the moment you realized you really stopped being a kid?

Can you define that moment in time? I’d like to know what that was like for you. If you can, or want to share.

For me, it kind of just swooped in out of nowhere. Somewhere in between exiting virginity and the day I knew what home really meant to me...
Somewhere in between that huge chunk of happenings, it had happened.
To try and pinpoint the exact moment or feeling is like waking up from a dream or watching water fall through your fingers. Obscure. But despite the fleeting echoes, the impact manages to be so significant a milestone or turning point in life... Difficult to wrap my head around.

Its just kind of hilarious how that divide seems to manifest itself. This before and after; From the part of my life when I had absolutely no regard for anything, to caring too much about everything?
And then leaning into the phase of just aimlessly reaching for things that had felt ‘right’, at the time.
The timeline almost feels more and more like someone else’s life as these days continue to carry me further into “adulthood”.

And now, I’m here, wanting to figure out where to best direct my energy into these visions... Painting pictures of the kind of lifestyle I want, and becoming the exact type of human who’ll achieve that...
So much of me has changed;grown. Yet, I still don’t even know what the fuck I’m ACTUALLY doing a quarter of the time.
I’m still coming to terms with the fact that “adulthood” wasn’t my easy ticket to a life without mistakes and unanswered questions.
And It’s still a bit surreal to look at myself under the lens of ‘woman’ as opposed to ‘young girl’. I feel almost even disconnected to this reality of a functioning 26 year old with a full time job working towards building a family, a home, a cute little life for herself. Im an adult in essence and yet;
Still a girl who knows almost absolutely nothing. The comedy in the irony is strangely comforting.

Id be remiss if I didn’t say that this fluttering sense of maturity, that’s very slowly solidifying itself makes me feel %1000 certain that I have much to learn. I can continue to look back at the earlier stages of my youth with laughter and fondness for the self that I’ve let go and grown out of.

When you look back at your growth, what feelings come over you? Is it satisfaction, numbness, or have you yet to discern what it is?

In Tech and Out of Touch?

Navigating myself to a life of warmth and sustainability while trying to figure out resolve through the industry I work in

attached artwork is a photo of mural by @bip.graffiti on Instagram

My first job in the Bay was with a catering startup that provided holistic lunches to tech companies like Heroku and Thumbtack. I started as a line chef and then transitioned into admin.
Back in 2014, working in a professional kitchen initially felt exciting and opportunistic. The opportunity came along right when I really needed any job. And I’d thought myself fortunate to have been pulled into it at that time.
Back then I had little to no understanding of the industry and was desperate to make ends meet. I understood the hustle but could barely grasp the monster that is Silicon Valley.

Four years later I’m working for one of the leading companies in business intelligence through data analytics.
A young bohemian era romanticizing 22 year old, turned to another bustling techie. Queue me, in a sea of Chrome backpacks, Bluetooth headphones and minimal eye contact.
Not exactly the juxtaposition I’d ever see myself mold into but should I be ashamed of that?

We like to demonize this term: Techie.

Have we properly defined it? And if we have, does it consider the demographic of people like me to fall under that? Do we mark this noun as a distasteful representation to society? Do we really feel animosity to “The Techies” or is it our reproach for this often times cold and capitalism soaked industry that makes us despise the participants who fuel it?

When I get to sit down and observe this environment through an outsiders lens, it’s fascinating and maybe a little bit easier to discern the divide between the man and the maker.
I personally believe that all of us are participants by nature, being a collective and social species. But the problem isn’t rooted at the role. Do we hate the symptom or do we hate what’s causing the illness?

My singular opinion is that this all depends on how we leverage our morale within our professions to make lives, other than our own, easier. Or on the contrary, fuel the degradation of culture and community by choosing to desensitize ourselves in an ever consuming boom of technology and economical innovation.

The opinion summarized: this isn’t black and white

I’m an administrative employee, hardly at the top of the professional food chain. And I take pride and put love into the work that I do. As someone who cleans up after my colleagues and relishes in sharing the things that I love with them (mostly food and the arts). I could dive deeper into these dynamics to try and hone in on the beauty that does happen in the life as a Techie... but let’s leave it at, I find value in the type of work I do because it’s been more than just a ‘job’ and I believe in this culture that exercises it to be for each individual to strengthen the whole.

And yes, my experience may be far and few. But I have to raise my hand on this because those of us living on the border of this divide should also participate in the discussion. Our experiences, lives and stories are not black and white.
And yes, the good doesn’t outweigh the bad. The ends still don’t always justify the means. And yes yes yes, we should still be supporting and empowering our friends and neighbors who are being degraded for the betterment of the powerful.
But among these harsh realities there is the indomitable truth that happiness still finds its way into the ugliest crevices of existence.

There’s a lot to be said about all of this.
But to wrap up with where I stand on the us vs. them argument, here in the Bay....

: I don’t see the value in taking sides with such wide margins shrunk into words like Techie and Natives/Artists/Blue Collar. At this point they bleed into each other. And at this point there are bigger giants to hold accountable. The conversation should evolve into integration and cohabitation and fighting this battle for each other rather than against.

What are your thoughts on the matter?

Dear Shannon

<love letters to people who’ve graced me>

It’s been a while since we last spoke to each other. Have to remind myself to check in with you after I finish writing.

I realized I never properly thanked you for being a friend to me. You were actually the first consistent friend I’d made in the Bay Area. It’s crazy to think how much we’ve both changed since then. And it’s fun to see the sort of women we’re growing into and where our lives have taken us so far.
I vicariously live through your go getter attitude when you pop up on my feed and I see you GETTIN IT. Your enthusiasm for your dreams and expression of self value inspired me.
I needed someone like you in my life. A friend to welcome me and get to know me in a place that I still didn’t feel like I belonged in, at the time.
We may not have always seen eye to eye on every conversation but that’s exactly why I appreciated you.
Two young women, strengthening each other in good company. I hope that you’re closer to achieving your aspirations and I’d like to re-connect soon and see how you’re doing.

Thank you for your warmth <3