About me cause I am cool

Read this

So hi this is me and I know I look pretty cool in the pic about but I don't so stop saying that. What's nice about me is how kind hearted I am. If you were to fall out of a golf cart, I would probably roll on the ground peeing and laughing before I helped you. I also know CPR so if you cant breath after seeing that gorgeous pic of me above, i can help with that.

Currently I'm on a bus. Yeah, I'm always on a bus. My life is a bus.

I'm also really strong. I'm sooo close to being able to lift an apple so that's a proud moment for me.

And yes, I know you might be feeling jealousy after reading my cool traits, but dont be, most of this was a lie.
Except for CPR, I do know that.

Rethink that move son.
-Ron Swanson, parks and recreation

No link stop telling me to put a link

These are my recommendations

Do these things

My top pics of activities:

1) when camping, bang on the side of the outhouses with sticks. The people inside will be terrified and maybe shriek a little. It's a win win. They get a fun story to tell, I get to run off giggling.

2) embarrass myself in my front yard and then run into the house


My fav restaurants:
1) costco pizza is the best
2) mod pizza is also the best
3) papa murphys is the best as well
I like pizza.


My favorite random stuff:
1) coffee is my fav
2) I dont like twix but I like to write twix.
3) annoying people and making fun of them a little. Dont worry, I'm not making fun of you.

That's all I can think of, go read my story called the cat that scat. Its voted New York times best read. I know I'm pretty proud.

Jessica Saari

I am fab

Hello I am Jessica and I am fabulous. If you’ve ever seen me you know that I am a 3 for 1 package deal.
You may be wondering, what are those 3 things?
Well, let me tell you.
First of all I am hilarious. ( that explains itself ) second, I am extremely intellectually advanced (2+2=22) and third but not least, I am very good at taking flattering picture of myself (as seen in the cover photo)