First, I must acknowledge that we all have insecurities at one point in our lives, irrespective of gender, race, background or belief. This writeup throws light on the insecurity of a woman leading her to compete with other women. To be clear that this piece doesn't shame any woman who has made changes to her appearance and lifestyle.
Based on the focus of this piece, many of us might have come across that lady who is trying so hard in physique and personality to be us or someone else. Is that a bad thing? Absolutely not. Many of us have role models, and some go a mile to look like that person physically for different reason such as self improvement, body goals, popularity, etc. What I'm about to say is a fact that many of you have come across, acknowledged or might be yourself. There are ladies whose reasons to this is due to insecurities which sometimes creates unhealthy competition.
Ask yourself, what's your reason for having that butt and hips enlargement, bleaching, personality change, breast implant, piercing, etc? Is it for self love, work inclined, family acceptance, or is it just because of a man? Man! The major reason for competition amongst women for years after years now. Let's unravel this unhealthy competition resulting from insecurity of a woman because of a man.
Some women feel a man dumped them because of their BODY SIZE AND SHAPE, COMPLEXION, HAIR, ETC. Women in this category try to change their body physique. It's quite a painful struggle when a woman tries in her power to fit into the picture they feel that man loves and wants. They aren't doing it for self love and appreciation, but his love and appreciation. It becomes dicy when this lady goes as far as surgical changes, bleaching, piercing just to make that man see them and crazily he got a lady, one he loves and appreciates.
Have you ever come across or are you that woman who starts obsessing about the other woman? These women won't acknowledge that they're obsessed, jealous and tryna fight so damn hard to have and keep that man, that they try to copy and be like the woman he loves, and compete to overthrow her acknowledging themselves to be way better and more deserving to be his lover than her. So, what do they do? They first wonder what exactly does she have that they don't. What is her weakness they can gain strength in to make him look in their direction is the complete tool. They get him thinking about, "Oh! My Lady isn't perfect, I'd be complete with the obsessed in the picture." What can they do better to then seem more presentable than she is, and boom she's out.
They start by changing their body appearance to conform to the other lady. They want to have same body shape as her. Study in same field as she did. Run in same line of work has she does. Everything she does, they immediately copy. They want to work where she works. Join organizations she is part of. And they would do their best to be in lead. Some go as far as bearing a new identity - name, D.O.B, family, education.
If she's a curvy lady, they undergo surgery or use butt and hips pills and creams to look curvy. If she has big breasts, they do breast implant or use breasts creams. If she's fair, they bleach themselves. If she has a pierced body part, they do same. If she doesn't wear certain outfits and jewelries, they stop too. If she's slim, they do surgery or drown in slimming tea. If she wants to have a low hair cut, next they want to do that to. If she isn't the makeup person, they go natural or vice versa. All they spend so much of their time, money and energy doing is just to conform to that other lady's image to get that man in question. From their way of life, speech, life questions and charisma you can easily tell most often they don't know their purpose in life. They don't know why they are on earth. They have no clue about eternity. Their actions hardly match their words. They hardly want to be confronted with facts such as this. They always get fenced up on matters about that guy in question, even though their life is painted with him and they act like his lover, because they may get caught and their obsession seen right through.
THIS IS UNHEALTHY COMPETITION DUE TO SELF INSECURITY IN SOME WOMEN
What they need is love, health care and self revelation. A man is fixated to a woma by how much he admires her.
My advice to young ladies is to do better. You're more than a copy image. Appreciate yourself the way you are. If he left you, it's not because of your look. He might tell you so as polite manner of breaking up with you to actually prove him right breaking up with you because of your self esteem and insecurities when you act like this. Ladies often misunderstand the reasons behind a man's choice of woman. Ask yourself this, if it was because of your physique, why the hell in the first place did he look at you? A man can leave a woman for several reasons, which most times doesn't have anything to do with your appearance. They only use that, making I seem that way as a way to make you feel insecure, compete over them, question yourself why, beat yourself up and feel like you're the problem. Now, you actually become the problem when you don't be a better version of yourself, become better and work on your flaws, but rather try to become a better version of someone else for your self will and satisfaction of love, mostly for that man in question.
Women have to understand that a man can appreciate, adorn and be attracted to big butts and hips, big boobs, light skinned, classic, slim, short, tall, fat, etc. But it doesn't equal his needing one. Example; a man is often at the strip club watching big butts winning and grinding all night, but he gets to love and settle with the shy, flat butt, tangerine breasts, poor dancer, teddy girl. A mab could also very well never neared a strip club or bar, always secluded in the work, faith and family environment, but will end up loving and settling down with a street club girl.
A man wants a woman who let's herself go the moment he says he's in it for him alone. Self appreciation vibe the way you are. Respect him as well as respect yourself. Choose him out of both need and want, and not out of desperation or to fix your self insecurities. They want you to have your own unique identity, be original and not some copied image off a book or your idea of the kind of girl they love and want, or women in their life, and most definitely not a woman they love. Don't go shopping if you're not dropping. Understand their choice is foremost based on inner self and originality, and so far off from sexual lasting in bed, body physique, and charm, it's very insulting to a man. A woman who is happy and self fulfilled.
©Melisa
2019
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