This is ME!
Welcome to my world.
So this is part of my story,
I didn’t just wake up one day and decide to start my blog but it happened gradually over time. I have always been a little business lady since my tweens and I’ve grown into an efficient entrepreneur.
I might be new to blogging but I’m no novice when it comes to business , helping others and sharing my love for life, things, places and people.
I’m passionate about my relationship with God. I’m so excited to share my journey with you & for us to try new things out together. I really feel like I slept on myself most of my twenties and now I’m so hungry for more.
I wrote a list of things that I did in my twenties, & I am happy about what I got the chance to do but I also forgot a lot about myself. The most impactful times or moments in my life were, leaving home at 18 years old, I stopped smoking everything that year as well. Wes and I were dating on and off since I was 16 but at 19 we decided to get more serious. At 20 I fell pregnant & miscarried & at 21 we got married. We then had Kai in 2013 & Cade in 2015. We attend DCC & completed 2 years of shepherd school and I started teaching online in 2016 and from there my little side hustles started to grow. In 2019 we had Zeal and I turned 30.
All of this is amazing but I want to do this for me, my legacy and to help others in a way that I wanted someone to help me when I went through some of the worst storms of my life. If it wasn’t for Christ I think I would of lost my mind.
Just know that Christ cares about every area of our lives and His still in the business of miracles, me being here & starting this blog is one of them.
So I moved to Cape Town in 2021 to pursue my dreams & my family followed this February. We have finally settled in and are loving our new city.
I am all about community over competition, I’m looking forward to learning and growing with you all.
Why the move??
I’m often told how brave I am to be sharing my truth & living my life the way I do. I honestly don’t feel brave but I see it as my own personal choice.
I’m very spiritual & driven by many things that the eyes don’t see. The first thought of moving started with a dream. It was very vivid. In the dream I was moving my family to a new home near the beach but a huge wave came out of nowhere & we needed to move to higher ground. I started driving uphill and the car was heavy and so I had to leave some people and belongings behind because we weren’t moving forward. Eventually we made it to higher ground. I then had other very similar dreams. This was all happening last autumn.
Later on last June, I was networking online with other freelancers & entrepreneurs and was offered a short term gig in Capetown & I just brushed off the idea but when I fasted on Mondays, which I still do regularly, I started to feel compelled to consider this as a real option and that it might be time to leave Newlands , leave our home and start over. Wes & I discussed our options, knowing very well that we didn’t have many but because of our family dynamics we realized that we have nothing to loose. I was already feeling like I had lost ground in my work and my mental health was a mess due to the pandemic & family issues. With Wes as a stay-at-home-dad, homeschooling, 3 sons all under 10 & two have special needs we needed to take a leap of faith.
September 2021 came and it was time for me to leave. I knew nobody in CPT but I pushed through the fear & paid for my flight & booked an air bnb while sitting at the airport. Once l landed, I felt the peace and love of God so strong. I cried a lot during the first week. I struggled with mom-guilt, fear of the unknown, negative thoughts but it was all in my head. This experience was just what I needed to shock myself & it has brought me closer to God.
So now it’s April 2022, Wes and I are trying to navigate our new normal with no family around but we have been taking it one day at a time. This move has taught me to :
🖤 Let things FLOW, don’t force anything.
🖤 Let go of timeframes & expectations.
🖤 Choose a different path.
🖤 Make room for what you prayed for.
🖤 Change your mind & habits.
🖤Keep learning & keep trying.
So I want to encourage you today. Take time to heal, reset, refocus and restart. You are the youngest you will ever be and the oldest you have ever been. Enjoy your life.
My goal for my blog & business is to portray joy, hurt, losses, wins in the most natural way. Showing my true self has opened up many doors for me and I hope it makes room for you to be yourself as well and as I share my life, you can say..
Me too…I’m going through this…there’s hope.
My blog has changed my life for the better. So start something today that your future self will be so grateful for.
Don't be double minded, be you.
For years I told myself that I can make choices for others and do what they want then later I will do for me, well later rarely happened.
We often do what religion wants us to & this is exhausting, what culture suggests, or society and this is the worst. It did take me a long time to actually learn to hear & listen to Gods voice & my own because my own bad habits didn't match my life & where I wanted it to go.
So it has only been 3 years since I started making a lot of changes in my life according to what I need & desire and it blows my mind to see how much I have grown & how things are so different now.
I'm so thankful to God for first loving me & showing me how to live freely. Know that we cannot be on the fence about anything in life, we must make a choice. We are in control of our actions but not always the consequences.
So I encourage you today, open your heart , mind & soul to a real relationship with God, forget about what this world has to offer, medidate on His word, speak to him throughout your day, fast, draw closer , get to know Him better & the way He sees you , your eyes will really be opened & you won't be able to just live but thrive.
#1st Blog Post🤗
Self-sabotage versus Self-care.
So I'm wide awake since 3:30am, what an early start to my Monday🙂. I often reflect on my daily actions and the impact that they have on myself & I soon realized that many things that I considered self-care were actually the beginning of self-sabotage. Before you make a choice to do something regarding self-care, ask yourself these questions :
#1 Am I trying to avoid something that is unavoidable?
#2 How will I feel after I do this?
#3 Is it really good for me, when will it stop being good for me?
#4 How is this nurturing & fostering my growth?
#5 Is this meeting some unfifilled need or desire & how?
Then I thought, what are some of the things that I have been doing that looks like self-care but in reality isn't??
#1 Returning to past bad habits because I needed something to take the edge off. ( this could be smoking/drinking/drugs etc).
#2 Often laying and thinking about all the things that I regret doing and shouldn't have. ( Why bother because all of my choices have gotten me to this point).
#3 Spending money unnecessarily or without looking at my budget & choosing to do what is easier instead of what is hard.
#4 Running away, instead of booking time away for myself.
#5 Spending too much time researching & writing about what I want to do & not following through for myself. I lost time, money & opportunities.
Once I started doing this, I realized that I can't just make a choice about self-care based on how I feel or the first thought that comes to mind. A lot of my pass actions & choices were the beginning of self-sabotage. What could I be possibly risking??
#1 My long-term & short-term goals.
#2 Losing valuable time.
#3 My finances.
#4 My relationships.
#5 My character.
I hope this will help you as much as it helped me.
4 important things you need to be reminded of about age.
Age isn't nothing but a number.
The few people that I had confided in about some of my future plans either looked at me with a blank face, some didn't have much to say, others gave negative feedback and some encouraged me to go for it.
I realised that I need to step out in faith & not look to man for confirmation. There are so many opinions about age & what you should be doing at each stage in life.
There's no exact time line, so remember these things about age...
1. Age shouldn't be a barrier, don't let it hold you back from doing what you care about & love.
2. Your age doesn't dictate what stage of your life you should be at.
3. Age doesn't dictate the level of respect someone should be given or their intelligence.
4. You are never too old to try something new, follow your dreams or change your life.
Be encouraged... Happy Thursday.😊
Starting a business
Don't wait to be confident.
Don't wait to be confident to take action. You need to take action in order to get confident.
When I started my own business a few years back, I had so many questions & I still do most days & the main one is.. HOW?
Just start where you are at, with what you have and focus on the 24 hours ahead of you. Remember google is your friend.
Doubting yourself is normal but letting doubt stop you is a personal choice.
And no more wishing now... just do the work.
Self Destructive Habits
Don't destroy yourself by doing the following.
I'm really writing this from my own experiences. It's so easy to do these things. It's good to take a step back and reevaluate our actions, our needs and reasoning.
#1 Not asking for help, even when you need it.
#2 Overworking to get things done quickly & neglecting yourself along the way.
#3 Focusing so much on perfectionism that it prevents you from finishing or even starting something that is very important.
#4 Not allowing yourself to feel & process your feelings and emotions but reverting to unhealthy habits to help numb them.
#5 Not acknowledging your accomplishments.
#6 Not checking in with yourself first before committing to do things.
#7 Procrastinating on important things.
Now that I'm aware of these things, moving slower has helped me to think about my thought process, how it affects my decisions, how those decisions make me feel & impact my life.
Self work is very important work.
My top pick #1
# Palmers skin therapy face oil.
I have been using this product for over a year & I love that it meets my skins needs. The worst is to buy something with high expectations and it does nothing. One thing that is necessary for healthy looking skin is consistency, so make sure to use this face oil twice per day diligently.
I apply this oil to my face, neck & hands, because it contains Retinol, I use very little in the morning and I apply sunblock straight after.
This face oil has bomb combination, some things in it are :
# Vitamin C
# 10 Pure oils
# Cocoa butter
A plus is that it’s affordable & I usually buy it every second month. If you want to prevent further skin damage, I suggest you try this oil & pair it with a good sunblock.
The action of investing time & money with the expectation of achieving healthy ,glowing & subtle skin in the future.
Feel Good - Mental Health
How to become mentally stronger!
I don't feel like I have all my *hit together, but I have made huge improvements over the last 3 years. There are days when I feel so defeated but on most days I feel like I'm winging it & I know this by the fruit of my labour.
I’ve listed below some things that I do that help me to be mentally stronger.
#1. I focus on one day at a time. This helps me not to get overwhelmed or overthink.
#2 I try my best to face my feelings. The good, bad & everything in between. Our choices in life can be affected by traumas or down played feelings.
#3 I remind myself that setbacks & failures are inevitable. It helps us to grow & learn. Remember , nothing is permanent in this life.
#4 I let my emotions drive & motivate me but I take a step back if I’m too emotional & I rather wait until I can face a situation rationally.
#5 I don’t act if I don’t know what to do. You can pray about it, use google, write down options, do research etc.
#6 I try my best to be adaptable & not fear the unknown .Change is good.
I hope this was helpful.
Don't stress about the rest.
FOCUS ON YOU.
I'm thinking about how this world makes it easy for us to be hard on ourselves. We behave like we were born to be consumers of everything but in truth our Creator imparted Himself to us, He gave us power which is our creativity & He placed everything that we need for this life way before we even existed.
You cannot change any man or woman, but we all do have areas and power of influence.
Once I realized that if I keep looking at others, asking them for stuff etc. I keep confessing that they have it & I keep focusing on them, while leaving myself out.
YES.... we need each other but don't confuse this with want. Look at your reflection to challenge yourself.
As you go about your day today, let the world keep its superficial identities & it's stresses. Focus on you, take a deep breathe, quiet your mind & focus on the mirror within you, you are a reflection of your Creator.
Don't let waiting make you bitter.
I use to constantly complain to God, when am I going to get a break, I'm so exhausted Lord, I just need some rest. This was my constant prayer. I use to complain so much internally that I didn't realise that I had become bitter😔.
It was a sad realization but I'm thankful to God for always opening my eyes to the ugliness in me. I was so frustrated that I didn't even bother to go on social media, I avoided going out & I slept a lot. Now looking back on my behaviour which lasted for about 2 years....it shocks me.
My own thoughts strangled me more than my situation. Were things tough??....yes....but not everything was bad but my mind chose to be consumed by the negative & I couldn't see anything else.
I was so consumed by work, taking care of a house, kids, bills, hospital visits etc that I forgot to be thankful & have a heart of gratitude towards my life & everything in it.
What helped me get out of this toxic mindset:
1. I chose to change my perspective and look at trials as preparation for what's coming & not punishment.
2. I stopped telling myself what I deserve is better than what I have. The peace that came over me was unlike anything else. Even when things got worse, I chose to celebrate my own life rather than compare.🤍
3. I choose to be present and content in my current situation & season. I read Philippians 4:11 many times. I use to look at the word content as something negative but now I'm more content with where I'm at & what I have. It is God that gives us strength & we can do anything through Christ.
4.I choose to feed my spirit man daily, pray continuously and be thankful. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 tells us to be joyful, thankful in all circumstances and to never stop praying.
5. I chose to trust God’s timing & to keep my life simple. As humans we tend to naturally complicate stuff, we often want to rush things or we desire things prematurely. It's important to trust God, believe His word and know that there is a time for everything. While waiting...work on you, work on keeping things simple & clear, so you are always keeping your eye on your race, your lane and your prize.🙂
We can make our plans but the Lord determines our steps.
It is a super power🤍
I'm always thinking about love, how I can love more like Christ & how not to make it conditional. We supposed to love each other deeply as it covers over a multitude of sin. This is hard when the world teaches us the exact opposite.
I know that it's hard to love past the pain, past flaws & on empty. Love is sacrificial, we give up parts of ourselves to pour into others & it's heart breaking when it doesn't work both ways.
Love should be given abundantly, no demands & expectations but yet we do slip up sometimes because we can become selfish at times, but know it's a gift that you should give freely.
As we give love, parts of us are filled up by the love we receive.
Be aware not to pour love into empty places & to give love to yourself first. Good love cannot be better than the lover.
I pray that our cups will be filled to the brim with love. May you be loved deeply by the ones you love & who love you back. May you give love to those deserving of your love.
KNOW WHO YOU ARE!
It's a tool to thrive!
You are a reflection of God and your life is a reflection of your works.
It's more important to work on our internal selves than our physical.
Know all the parts of you, learn yourself and accept that you are powerful and have the power to evolve, impact and influence.
Your identity is in Christ, not in what you have done or your struggles. Know your roots and know the direction He wants you to go, even though none of us know much about what lies ahead on this journey.
You have gifts and knowing yourself is one of the gifts you give to the world.
Commit to your own betterment, everyone and everything you touch will benefit from it too.🤍✨
Making Changes & Creating Healthy habits.
The most expensive thing you will ever do is spend time with the wrong people.
I’ve been slowly making changes in my life that feel uncomfortable now but will benefit me later on in life.
I started with all the people in my circle, offline and online and I knew that I needed to take a step back & separate myself from many, not because they were bad but they were not serving any purpose honestly.
I’ve been spending more time alone, more time offline & it has been one of the best decisions ever. I’ve slowly been cleaning out each room of my home, trying to live more slowly and move towards a minimalistic lifestyle so I can have room for what matters most.
Without physical and mental clutter I do believe that it’s easier to navigate through life & get things done. Clutter postpones decisions and feeds procrastination.
When you have less things and people in your space, it’s easier to be aware of what’s really important and worth your energy.
I’m focusing on what is essential, not because I want to do less or more but I want to get the right things done, in the wisest way, knowing that I’m functioning at my highest point to make an impactful contribution to my life & the ones around me.
I’m focusing on things that are sustainable, from what I wear, what I eat, what I do, what I use etc. I’ve shifted my attention from the price of things to their value. I really want to use my time more efficiently so I guess owning less is better than organising more.
I’m feeling more present in my own life, more relaxed and at peace. It’s important to stay real in this all fake everything era.
So I encourage you to take a step back & evaluate your life, what you are doing & who you are spending time with. Start taking away or adding more of what &
who will bring more value & is worth your time because there are no refunds.