to my lover;

Love is a choice, they always say. I believed in that. But choosing to love everyday is not an easy task; everyday we battle with emotions and thoughts that sometimes leads us into questions, that sometimes makes us feel weak, exhausted or even to be burned-out. Loving you isn't always stroll in park or a walk in the seashore. It is sometimes a walk in a forest or a sail on big waves.

For almost three years of being with you, everyday is a choice; a choice to hold on or give up, a choice to love or hate, a choice to be kind or to be angry, a choice to understand or to be selfish. And everyday, it's getting hard and harder; with all the unresolve issues we have, our individual internal and external challenges, our individuals stresses in life, making us lesser to empathize and feel each other. With our differences surfacing as the days pass, it's getting difficult than the first days we had together.

Everyday is a chance to show love and honestly, it's not a piece of cake; that sending morning and night greetings shouldn't be just routine messages and that sending I love yous aren't just words and requirement for everyday messaging time. That telling you I love you isn't just enough, that I needed to act the love. This means that I have to learn to respect your personal times and space, to understand that your day isn't about me, to make you feel welcome by being gentle and calm, to make you feel understood in times of stressful days, to make you feel wanted even we're apart, to empathize and feel you when you're not feeling yourself, to be at peace rather than to be mad, to be your rest rather than be part of your stressors. I would be lying if I say it's not much of a work, because it is, as an egoistic person, as a sensitive person and as a high maintenance person, it's not easy for me to dissociate myself and feelings from situations.

Choosing to love you everyday is not easy but it's worth it. Things are changing, things are getting harder, things are getting older, it's way different from the first time we met, the first time we said we love each other, the first time we fought, the first time we were happy with each other. But I always hope that even with the changes, the stresses, the challenges, the love still remains, that we'll still choose each other without doubt, that love won't stay in words but will manifest in our actions.

I will always hope for us.