Welcome Beautiful Mama

I’m Leilani, mother of two and passionate about spreading the word on Matrescence.

Becoming a mother changes us in profound ways, touching every area of our life. How we see ourselves and others, our place in the world, our relationships, our social circles, our values change and many may experience a spiritual awakening too.

This radical shift has a name - Matrescence, the transformation a woman goes through as she becomes a mother.

I want to revolutionise the way we value and care for women in the world.

Honouring matrescence as a rite of passage.

I am currently completing Seasons of Matrescence teacher training with the beautiful Nikki McCahon and look forward to sharing more with you soon.

With love,
Leilani x

Hello! I’m Leilani

My Story

I entered into motherhood totally unprepared for the changes it would have on me.

I had a fluffy image in my mind of what having children might be like but that vision did not meet my lived reality.

There were many days I felt as if I couldn’t get the hang of it. I had this immense sense of failure because my baby wouldn’t sleep and my sense of self had disappeared.

I no longer knew who I was outside of motherhood. I was lost in the liminal space - I wasn’t sure who I was or who I was becoming.

I remember this one day so vividly as I sat with my husband on our back deck with tears streaming down my face that I needed time and space away to just be me, not mum, wife, friend or anyone else, just me. So I booked myself into a women’s retreat.

I was desperate to see a glimpse of myself again - the woman outside of being a mum.

The retreat was the most amazing experience on such a deep level. I learnt so much more than I ever thought possible.

I realise being lost in the liminal space is a normal way to feel because motherhood can be such a huge transition.

I believe matrescence holds so much power in normalising the experience we go through when we become mothers.

Discovering this one word for me has been life changing. Knowing that what I’m going through is a normal way to feel.

As matrescence expert and psychologist Dr Aurelie Athan says: “words create worlds when we have a lack of language and don’t know how to articulate our feelings, it makes the process incredibly difficult- we need worlds to heal”.

In hindsight I realised I was unprepared for the changes motherhood would bring and that I was lacking in social support, tools and knowledge.

Becoming a mother made me realise I have more strength and resilience in me than I ever thought possible. I have so much more compassion for myself and my girls too on this beautiful, messy, fulfilling journey that is motherhood.