My Journey to me

The light bulb came on and I finally felt like I understood why I felt the way I did!

From very early in my life I felt very different to everybody else.

I was born to a refuge immigrant family from Chile, I looked different having darker skin and features, plus I was shy and sensitive which seemed like the icing on a very different cake!

Kids at school were also very quick to point out my differences. I experienced bullying and often felt alone.

Yes I knew I looked different, yes I knew I was a bit quieter than others but I never felt it was ‘different ‘ until it was brought to my attention over and over again!

It wasn’t even the difference that mattered, but the fact that being different was somehow viewed as wrong, as if everyone should look the same, be the same, think the same. The same as what , I’m not really sure, but the main thing was NOT to be different.

The continual reminder that I was different started an internal monologue of negative self talk. Why am I this way? Why am I so shy, so sensitive, so different? I need to change. That’s what I thought at this time.

I spent a lot of my 20’s being outgoing, travelling, meeting new people, while inside I knew I was not being my true self.

My thirties started a journey of self discovery, of really understanding myself along with a journey of self acceptance.

It was during a counselling session that I finally felt heard and understood. ‘I think you were a highly sensitive child’; the light bulb came on and I finally felt like I understood why I felt the way I did.

My journey was only really beginning now but the progress I had made took a backward leap when I had my son 6 years ago.

I had to rediscover and learn about myself all over again. I had become ‘mother’ and had to learn this new aspect of my life.

It’s no surprises that my emotions were all over the place, as I walked into this new role, which included all the hormones and all the sleep deprivation. This certainly magnified my feelings of inadequacy and doubt in myself. The thread that had followed me through my whole life, reared it’s ugly head.

Then I started noticing my friend, a trained doula, posting on her Facebook about natural emotional support tools and techniques. I felt very drawn to what she was saying and the day I started using her tools and strategies was the day my life changed completely.

I felt a sense of confidence in myself I’d never felt before, plus I had the tools to support my sensitive emotions.

I now embrace, what I once thought was different and now see it as what makes me unique and beautiful.

After all it’s the unique in us all that makes this world so interesting right!?

I will say it out loud (but gently) I am a highly sensitive person (HSP), so I am sensitive to the world around me and feel things deeply.

I don’t see this as a weakness but as an asset and my journey has taken courage and has given me strength!

Join me and my unique community of gentle, kind, brave and strong women who embrace being gentle, celebrate their uniqueness and walk through life bravely and with strength.

Let’s celebrate together!

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