The more you try to find the underlying reasons behind what happened, the more it is getting way too stressful. Just relax and put the best effort. The why is simply just to make you go beyond.

You feel more feelings than you have ever felt and those indescribable feelings are valid
Your heart speaks many more than your mouth does
Smile, laugh, dance, scream, cry, and whatsoever
Don't hide it, just celebrate it
With
yourself –at least.

You may think that success happens once in ages but hey have you ever think that to be given a chance to -at least- try is also success. If you fail, you have taken one/more steps forward and that's fantastic. If you slay every phase, that's also fantastic.