Diary of a healing Woman

Forgiving. Healing. Becoming.

This is a place for Peace. Boundaries. Healing. Growth. Positivity.

Women play a lot of roles in their lives. One thing we all have in common is that we are women!

I have dealt with my share of trauma and placing my healing on the back burner was always my first reaction.

But I have slowly learned that in order for me to become the woman I need to be for myself first, I need to heal from some things and let go of the others.

This is why I’m here. To remind you that you are more important than you think! In every aspect.

Diary of a healing Woman


I want to remind you that there is still a little girl, young lady, or young woman, deep inside of you that needs serious healing.

Diary of a healing Mom

Moms are expected to be just that, a mom. Nothing more. Right?

No, you can’t have a “life” and live it too. So stop asking, right?
The only thing you can do now is get married, find your career, and settle down. Can’t even get cute no more without hearing, “who you getting cute for?” Uh myselllllllllf!

Oh and don’t even bother with “me time” or “self care”. Like what are thoooooooose!? You don’t get it do you? Me time is now “we time” and self care, that’s “they care”.

Okay all jokes and funny references aside, this is why us mothers struggle in silence. This is the reason we move on from past trauma instead of “healing” from past trauma.

Can you honestly say that you are healed from that experience that happened years, months, weeks ago?

I can not. Not fully. And that’s my truth.

I come across people who believe that once you become a mother, it’s no longer about you. And to a degree, I understand their reasoning for saying so. But no one really tells you the significance of healing from your past, and being a mother to your children.

Well, we all have something we need healing from. Your spirit, your mind, your energy, even your vibe. Trauma effects them all. And until we learn to forgive, heal, and then move on....we can’t be at our best in the most important role of our lives. Are you really ready to heal?

Thanks for reading!

Dear my “little” self

This letter to the little girl inside was the first step to my journey of healing.


I'm writing you this letter to tell you how sorry I am for letting you drown all those years ago in pain, shame, and disgust. For allowing your cries to stay so faint until they turned silent and your tears to dry up on your cheeks and become ash.

I'm sorry for not listening when you begged for it to be stop. But because you were so young your strength was not yet realized.

I'm sorry that I waited 26 years before I decided to be strong for you and stand up for us. I'm sorry that I never thought speaking up would help us so I just let it go on.

I know you are still in there, deep down in there still crying. I know this because when you cry, I cry so we cry together.

I cry because I let you down. I cry because I never got revenge for you. I cry because I never received closure for us. But I cry most because I know I will never get to meet you since you were taken from me so early. So fast. Forcefully and unwillingly.

I've tried to suppress the memories. I promise I'm not trying to forget you in there. I hear you crying out with your hands out wanting to be picked up.

You want to be taken from his hands now. You don't want to watch cartoons anymore with him. You want mommy to miss work because laying in her bed isn't the same without her next to you.
I finally told mom for us. I finally did it, only it was too late.

I just thought maybe if I got it off of my chest I would be relieved. But it did not work and I still hear you crying. I still see your scared little face taunting me. Why did I leave you there in that dark place where no one can find you?

I go back to that place often searching for you. I hear you calling out but I can never find you. I’m trying to save you so you can save me but why can’t I find you? Are you hiding? He’s gone. He is no longer around. You can come out now and be set free.

I need you right now. I need you like you needed me before but now we are stronger and we can be free together. I can’t be free without you, little Me. I need you to come out of hiding and grow with me. Please. I will come back later to see if you are ready...until then, take care of us in there.

Signed with tears
Your “BIG” you. 😔

Diary of a healing Woman

Top picks for relaxing, distracting, and debriefing

Check out this list of things that have proving to help with keeping my mind occupied.

Long long showers are the best!

This is probably one of my favorite things to do when I’m in a funk.

Make sure the kids are good, fed or give them a snack and put on a movie. Or simply tell daddy, “I’ll be back”.

•Start your shower water. Get it nice and steamy.
•Get you a freshly washed dry towel and wash cloth.
•Make sure you have a slamming playlist to groove and sing to.
•Get your favorite shower wash.
•spend some time in there just allowing the water to fall on you.
•Once you’re done, (and make sure you are. If you are not done, stay in there) rub yourself down with your favorite lotions as you’re still jamming to that playlist.

Binge watching a series/show

I love finding a new series on Netflix or re-watching something I’ve watched already a thousand times before.

There is something about taking all of the focus off of your issues or whatever situation you’re dealing with at the moment, and diving into a series of different characters that you could totally see yourself playing in that show.

Temporary distractions are okay when they aren’t harming. They are simply for taking your mind off of what you can’t fix right now.

The distraction is to distract you from things like:

• depression
• anxiety
• mood swings
• social media
• self hating
• judgment

What shows have you been watching?

My current is NCIS right now! Because Jethro Leroy Gibbs is EVERYTHING!


Writing has always been something I loved doing. I enjoy writing without thinking about it. When it just comes to me, that’s when I know it’s from my heart and it’s real.

Writing things down is another way of venting. Calmer way of expressing yourself and sharing your thoughts. Plus, it allows you to “see” what and how you’re feeling about whatever it is you’re writing about.

Sometimes I like to write the person I’m feeling whatever emotion about (mad, sad, angry) and then read back to myself. Then trash it. Almost as if you were letting it go all together.

Get you a journal just for you. Find time in your day to write something in it. “How are you feeling today?” If you have nothing to write, draw a picture. But express yourself everyday, in some way.

Relieve the pressure from the things you think you can’t say, by writing it down.

P.S. Hide it well. 😉

Need help finding a good journal. Just search Amazon for “self care journal”.

Snack attack/Movie night(solo)

Make a go to snack list for yourself. This is just for you. No kids. They don’t matter at the moment. And that’s okay.

Get the snacks that you like and pick a movie of your choice. No kid movies either. This is not the time for Disney or Nick Jr. sweetie.

Let’s put on some adult films (not saying pornhub or anything👀) but find a movie that you wouldn’t allow the kids to watch. And enjoy the hell out of that movie!

My go to movies to watch are:

•Four Brothers(anything with Mark Wahlberg really)

•Twilight movies

•Think Like a Man

•Ride Along

•Any scary movie really

•Netflix originals are the best

Also, try to order in. Grub hub, door dash...order some food to pick up and pig out. Guilt free! No keto, no low carb/no carb...vegans, do what you do to “cheat”...but don’t regret it.

My go-to YouTube channels

I wanted to share some YouTube channels that have helped me on my journey of finding myself as well as learning about self-care and healing.

30 Minute Pamper Routine

Pamper Routines 2020 ‘BLACK’

Therapy for Black Girls: Embarrasment, Mental Blocks, God and Supernatural Healing!

Complex PTSD: Four Stages of Healing