Hiii, I’m Moyosore olopade anddd I’m going to be your “chop life” guide.
In here, you’re going to find a lot of unfiltered thoughts, tips, calmness and the hard truth.
You’ll definitely like it here.
I have stalled and stalled and then just a little bit more.
I’ve told myself that I’m not ready so many times, and while I was frying chips this afternoon to quench hunger, I said why not?
Why can’t I just jump at this thing.
And I have decided to , come what may.
So this is going to be an introductory post and like I do, I’ll figure it out.
Enough about me!
This mini blog is going to be a lot of things, unfiltered thoughts, fashion tips, lifestyle tips and general good vibes and how to truly enjoy your life.
So, every weekend, I’ll come and share these things with you, so welcome and thank you for joining me.
P.S : I think you should jump at it too, that blossoming idea you’ve edited and stressed so much about and still think isn’t ready? Just do it.
You’ll figure it out.
When you know the right things to do, the right actions to take to stop hurting, and the moment to let go of people or situations but you can’t seem to, it’s okay.
It’s okay to feel the hurt, the regrets the pain.
Just let yourself feel and I think you have to come to the conclusion that you tried your best but it just wasn’t meant to be. And that’s okay.
Now you might feel stupid that you let them in, see you at your most vulnerable and it was unappreciated and I think you should allow yourself feel that too.
But know this.
Your emotions are valid and so are you but if you refuse to internalize and process whatever it is you’re going through, you’re always going to be in denial.
Be it heartbreak, lost opportunities, failed friendships or relationships, allow yourself to feel and only then can you truly begin to heal.
Only then will you feel whole again.
So snap out of it, begin your healing process and one day, it won’t hurt so bad anymore and only then can you begin to jaiye and chop life.
Tribute: To all the ones that broke our hearts.
It was like the time I broke my mom’s bracelet.
You know those tiny, dainty expensive wrist candy?
Yup, I had borrowed it the previous day and I broke it on the first try.
Instead of owing up immediately to my error, I decided I was going to fix it by myself and said nothing.
Unluckily for me, she found out and began to ask for it back and still instead of owning up again, I began to deflect, mainly because I was so afraid of confrontations and the outcome.
And whenever I tried to muster up courage, I needed a bottle of coke as a coping mechanism.
And this is how some of us are with situations we think we can’t handle, we deflect and ignore and become dependent on people or things that bring us comfort until the situation gets out of hand.
We become so used to it that we are afraid to take responsibility of actions because of uncomfortable situations.
When I finally decided to own up to it, she (my mom) surprisingly took it well.
That is, that scenario that we’ve built up in our head might not be as bad as we think it would be, and yes you don’t need to depend on outside factors to step up to the task.
So drop your own “coke” and take responsibility, be a jaiye babe who is in charge.
Life dey happen, you just have to adapt.
Have an amazing week ahead.
While I was writing this, I had literally nothing to talk about, so I just decided to share what was in my head with you.
I know that we have aspirations and goals, and this goals are triggered or “gingered” by events or sometimes situations we find ourselves in.
But no one tells us that this ginger fades of, that it won’t always come to you easy.
So what do you do when you’re tired of writing loads of applications , of creating content or when that career doesn’t just seem as juicy as before.
There’s something I’ve come to realize in my musings and talking to myself out loud 💀
It’s that “motivation” is a feeling and it’s safe to say feelings are extremely fickle, it fades away like cotton candy on the tongue.
See here’s the hard truth, if you’re not going to follow through on that project or career path, just don’t start it.
If you’re going to wait around for motivation to come pick you up like your Uber guy, then you’re never going to leave that spot.
No you don’t need a break, what you need is to get up and keep trying. Make a schedule for everyday of the week that gets you closer to your goals and even on days you don’t feel like it, is when you need to push harder.
So don’t bank on motivation , rather and an understanding that you can’t remain stagnant.
Opportunities don’t always come knocking , sometimes hold it by the balls and never let go.
Just keep trying.
If you’ve ever had a moment where you felt like “God na me send satan go hell”
Please gather here, let’s sit and talk.
See, I know and can totally relate.
You know how these moments run into days,weeks and sometimes even months ?
Where you start to feel like maybe you were the one that betrayed Jesus
Where your efforts are just not showing?
Where it feels like your content or applications are being looked over? Or worse all these things rolled up together dey do only you?
The days where you burn everything in order to be productive but nothing shows for it and it starts to eat you up?
Yh, they feel like they’re never going to end right?
Well, Na lie!
You know why?
Because you that had the strength to start will continue.
And you that is scared to start will receive the strength to.
Because you’re not a failure and because these moments don’t define you.
You’re not going to remain stuck forever, like flour with yeast in it, you’ll rise again.
I know it feels like you’re running out of time, feels like you’ll never get that one break.
Walai, you’re going to be everything you’ve envisioned and more.
You just keep going, this is the sign you’ve been waiting for.
So I leave you with this, hold on, your time is coming.
Have an amazing week and stay safe.
You know when you have really amazing moments, where you we’re finally able to step up to the issues or situations that have been choking you so much, and then it seems like you’re finally able to pull through but all of a sudden, things just go south in the blink of an eye?
And you just feel so crappy and overwhelmed ,heavy.
Heavy is the right word, you know that feeling where it’s like your chest is closed up or it’s just sinking?
Yup.
It sucks, big time and that’s where we’re at with the #endsars protest.
It’s feels like there’s nothing else to do, like we lost.
Take a breather, I mean literally inhale, hold your chest and exhale.
Close your eyes and just for a few minutes, dwell in that crappy state of mind.
Done?
Now wipe your tears, take a shower, sleep if you can, anything that can help you reboot.
Now, restrategize.
Look at all odds and regroup.
You were not blessed with this courage and boldness, only for you to give in at this crucial moment.
We move again.
This battle?
We will win it.
We only need to think, we’re smarter, focus, everything is on the line here.
We can’t lose.
Trust God, hold your head high, we will overcome.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Disclaimer!!
This is not a cry for help.
This is stating how things are.
Let us begin.
So when I woke up this morning, my first thought was “here we go again”.
Recently, apart from what the world has been throwing at us, I personally have been going through a major burn out, basically because most times , I felt like my efforts towards building a life had or has not being rewarded.
What I’ve been doing for months now is just popping in and out of life.
Do short gigs for money flow, work, switch off the world and go to Netflix.
I then rinse and repeat.
I no longer even find joy in creation, I just do it because I have to.
Because I dare not fail.
In between this morning and a few hours later, a new burst to create and rediscover myself crept in, but I kid you not, as I write this, exhaustion has set in.
But here’s this thing I’ve realized in a few moments, it’s extremely easy to want to stay in this phase or rot.
It’s really easy to just want to be in it, because you tell yourself that as long as you show up, do your job, come through for people then it’s okay.
No, it’s not.
You owe yourself so much more, to be the person you’d want to fall in love with over and over again.
And this is a self sub too, this is me telling you and myself that I can do better than this , that I do not deserve to give up on my dreams or the life I want just because it’s not going the way I want soon enough.
And like my friend feyi said , “girl wash your face, read a chapter and write a paragraph today and then you’d know you’ve done your quarter, the rest is up to God”
This works for me.
Find what works for you and just today, add in just a little more effort, it could be even cleaning your room but don’t you dare give up.
Keep trying, we will get it.
I’m creating a new playlist and I might just drop the link in a new post.
Stay safe and remember to chop life, make life no chop you.
You know how there are so many different ways to fry eggs??
Some people like it with onions (which is now gold in Nigeria 😩)
Some with pepper and some even like to cut up meat in their omelette, whichever way they like it done , it has a bit of originality in it.
Their own “home style “
And that’s the way in which we’re identified and known for, our own personal style
This could be seen in the way we write, the way we dress or the way we solve issues
This is what defines us, the core of who we are at heart and I personally think that’s a beautiful thing that shouldn’t be changed for any one or any situation
Because the works of your hand might take you places, but it’s your originality that will keep you there.
This is what is going to shine your light as bright as you want it to be.
This is my tip from a friend to all you jaiye babes
Stick to it and see how you flourish!
Stay safe, enjoy your week.
You know there are so many times you want to do a particular thing?
Maybe finish a novel?
Create content for the week?
Finish that term paper and you just keep procrastinating and telling yourself you’ll do it, since it’s so simple?
Yh, I’m here to tell you that you will never do it, yup
You’ll keep postponing and telling yourself you’d do it.
Na lie.
Until you actually make a schedule and stick to it? It’ll just be something that you want to do but never get to.
I’m saying this because I can relate so much.
I used to be a huge procrastinator , and until I became conscious about my effort to achieve my weekly goals, it remained a mirage.
These are the tips that helped me overcome.
One: a list
Always make a list, I mean it’s fun and you get to check it off at the same time and I probably sound like a dork now but honestly always make a list.
Write out everything you feel you have to get done for the week.
Two: Set a reminder for everything!
To every single task, I use Taskade but you can just use your regular reminder.
Then finally, set a timer.
I know it sounds stressful but believe me, it helps you in crushing your goals so fast and still give you some flex time.
I know you’re prolly going to do it for two days and then ditch it, but trust me, it might be hard but with consistency, you’ll get better and discover that you can also incorporate these into the big things.
Have an amazing week ahead and know that in whatever situation you’re in, there’s always something to be grateful for,
Byee.
You know how it’s hard sometimes to follow routines and reminders or even be in the head space for doing your tasks?-
There’s this thing about consistency that sometimes seems like a mirage and I might have figured it out.
So I figured out that if you can stick to a skin routine, you can stick to anything honestly.
I mean every morning you get up and wash your face, use a cleanser, slap on a sunscreen, you’re literally gifting yourself good and healthy skin, so why not apply that logic to everything else?
Creating content or doing your allotted activity strengthens your creative muscle and might even ginger you up for more.
And every-time you get back and wash you face at night, you can see for yourself that you’ve accomplished the task for the day.
So approach each situation like you’re treating yourself and you’ll find out that it gets easier to be consistent.
And remember, even in caring for your skin, it takes a step by step routine to achieve what you want, so apply that to everything and see your winning streak come alive!!
Have a happy and prosperous week.
Omo.
What an entire year.
Words can’t even begin to describe the emotions, struggles ,pain and also the breakthroughs that happened this year.
We’ve lost a whole lot , to the endsars protest , miss Rona and the world itself.
But we’ve also gained because for a lot of us, it was an eye opener, for some a good reason to get closer to their creators.
And basically I just want us to know that all hope is not lost, if we take action.
I know a lot of us are wishing or even thinking that the first day of the new year will magically erase all the bad things of 2020
And that our biggest dreams would be achieved.
Yes, this can happen but that is if we do our part.
We cannot afford or even dare to be complacent in our goals this coming year and if you want it to be all you envision, well you have to start making your plans now.
Now.
You have to understand that if a particular key will not open a door, you try another and that is you cannot keep doing things the same way and expect a different result.
Also , take your finances seriously, be conscious about how you spend your hard earned money.
Reconsider what takes most of your time and regroup.
And while you make plans towards getting the life you want, remember to live in the moment, let go of situations you can’t control and simply be at peace with yourself.
Smile more often, drink lots of water, use more sunscreen and put on your sunglasses like the total baddie that you are and go work for the future you deserve.
And note that miss rona is still out there, looking for who to devour, so stay masked wash your hands and sanitize as often as you can.
Get closer to God, you need him and know that he’s waiting for you to just talk to him because he listens.
P.S: that money you’re so stressed about, you just keep trying and moving your chips, you’re going to get it, because if one thing this year taught us is that money can be made and you will make it.
Just keep going.
To the ones that we’ve lost to the tragedies of 2020, I pray that your souls are at peace.
Merry Christmas everyone and I wish you the new year you want.
Cheers.❤️
Finally, after 2020 dragggged its ass, it really did feel like the year never wanted to end.
But here we are, a new year and as some will like to say, a new page.
Maybe.
But you can already feel it, can’t you?
That gnawing, weary ache to not waste your year, for it to already be better, infact if possible, can all the goals you wrote down be achieved already? (I really hope you at least planned out a few things for the new year)
Sis.
Rest.
Here’s a bottle of water, take, drink and better rest.
I know, I know, you’re worried.
I know.
But wait ehn, why don’t you let the days come?
Your plans are written, you know the steps to take, you know what to do.
Ehn
Let the days come to you, don’t rush.
Break down your plans, into tiny little bits.
You have to study six books for two months to pass your exams?
Ok, start with one, then break it down into chapters, and like that.
See, you’re already working towards one goal.
All I have to tell you today is breathe.
Sis breathe.
January is for unfolding, and unfold it shall.
Your plans will come to fruition.
Put In the work, enjoy the process and watch.
Also, since today is Sunday.
Go ahead and pick out your outfit for tomorrow, fill your bottles with water, pack your bags.
Stop scrolling through Twitter and worrying mindlessly.
The week is going to be fine.
I truly and deeply wish you all the best this week.
Stay safe, wear your masks.
❤️✨
Sometimes, when I open my notes to write, my fingers hesitate, and so does my mind.
Because I feel like what if I end up writing rubbish?
What if I can’t help people with what I’ve written?
So many what ifs.
And also when I dress up, I think what if people feel weird by what I wear today?
Not in an uncomfortable way, but just not to make them feel like I’m being “proud”
Yep that happens to me.😂
Like this morning where I considered wearing slides over boots, just so I don’t end up looking like I do too much.
Personally?
I’m over it.
I think we have to come to a place where we talk to ourselves, our inner inner selves.
And discuss why we keep self sabotaging.
Yes, it’s good to consider other peoples feelings, but to what extent?
Where do we need to draw the line?
When it start to seem like we put ourselves down just to blend in.
There’s a difference between humbleness and just plain self sabotage.
I’m not telling you to be proud o.
But that It’s okay to be different.
Yh, I know people end up calling us dramatic, and whatnot.
But I think, as long as what you do doesn’t hurt anyone and I’m not talking about their egos.
Then you should totally own your flairs.
Even with your target audience in mind, create with your own dramatics.
Own your difference, work with it, tweak it as you please.
Be an original, be yourself .
Embrace your freaking selves ,you beautiful people !
Stop focusing so much on how much it’s not perfect, on how much whispers you’re hearing.
Do your best and just put yourself out there.
And if you fail, you try again but as you keep being true to yourself and your art, you become a masterpiece.
Understand that your success is a continuous progress, and that you’ll keep evolving.
My jaiye babes , this is the true meaning of living your life to the fullest.❤️
You know that situation where you want something better for yourself, you’re literally working towards it but somehow, just somehow you’re riddled with this guilty conscience for wanting a better life?
You feel so guilty about grumbling and wanting a whole different space for yourself?
Because you’re thinking of what of other people that just want to be where I am?
Fess of all ma, small pride is “doing” you.
Because firstly, in your innocent unnecessary guilt, you’ve looked down on the people you’ve considered beneath you.
Not intentionally, but yh that is how it is.
Then again, you have to come to the understanding that we all have different demons, different battles.
You’re definitely going through some traumatic issues too, so please cut yourself some slack.
Know that it’s human to want to evolve, infact you being in a better place?
It’s better for everyone, because then you can decide to give back to the society, people around.
It’s actually very important that you grow, that you evolve and not remain static.
So no, you’re not being ungrateful for wanting more, you deserve better too.
Stop feeling unnecessary guilty or responsible for situations you have no control over, it’s a wasted emotion.
Better keep working smart, so you can chop life like a smart person.
Enjoy your week✨
Do you randomly hear music in your head?
Or sometimes voices????
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying voices that is telling you to kill or anything like that, no.
Most often than not, you can barely hear what these voices are saying and you can’t figure out what kind of music is playing.
You know why that is?
Because it’s noise, a whole lot of noise and muffled sounds.
Most times, these is what fills your head, you find out that you can’t concentrate, you want to hide from everything, you’re functional (at least for now) but it doesn’t look like it’s going to be like that for long.
When or if we’re not careful, sooner than later, that noise is going to be the only thing we can hear, and believe me, you do not want to be all caught up in your head.
So why not replace that noise with actual music,
Songs that uplift your soul
Songs that make you want to move your body.
Like everything else in life, you have to be deliberate in beating the noise out, in chasing it away.
You have to be in control.
You know we say happiness is free, but is it really?
No, because there’s a price to pay and that price is you choosing peace, choosing happiness, despite the chaos in and around you.
When you are in a gathering, be actually present, stop tuning them out when they talk to you.
Be there, not just physically but mentally.
That is how you can stop the noise.
You HAVE to choose, you have to want to be here, and if you think you don’t have the strength, this post is here to give you strength, because you’re not alone.
You never are.
Look around you, there’s always something to hold on to.
Jaiye babe, chop your life o.
On a cold frizzy Wednesday evening, after I was done with my chores and was lazily swiping through my apps, and feeling too lazy to get up for a cup of water, my phone pinged and a text from remi dropped.
A nonsensical comment on what I had posted earlier and a dash of his crazy theories but then we got talking and our conversation moved to how society has placed so much construct on us as youths and how more often than not, we just glibly go along with it.
Mandem, who told you you have to be done with school by 25 and picking your bouquet for marriage by 26?
Why are you so hell bent on making your first million by 22?
Why do you suddenly feel so inadequate because Emmanuel has cracked the code to millionaire by 23 and you’re still on your journey to earning your first three hundred thousand naira???
Social construct.
It in the air we breathe, the water we drink, even in the ofada rice we eat.(only food I’ve been able to think about for days now😹)
But seriously, we’ve been conditioned to timelines, it so bad that by the time you’re in your middle twenties and you feel like you don’t own anything you think is “tangible”, this crazy pressure begins to literally climb your head.
Please break away from the shackles of “I have to make it before I’m thirty and what will people say”???
Now don’t get me wrong please,
Work hard, work smart.
Do your best, but do away with unnecessary pressure.
Stick to your art, stop chasing schemes to get rich quick because you’re afraid of looking like a failure in the eyes of the society.
Society won’t look at you twice if you drop dead.
Cold, but true.
This is not me bashing those who by hard work have cracked the money code and are reaping their benefits, infact kudos to you, you deserve it and you’re doing amazing.
This is me telling you that’s it’s ok.
Whatever stage you are in right now, it’s ok.
Once again, break away from the shackles of social construct!!!!
I like to say this a lot, I probably sound like a broken record but trust your process!!
Ha!
I saw a post that said “I’ll be on this paper chase till my feet bleeds”
Ha??
Why is your feet bleeding because you’re chasing money?
I know it’s metaphorical but still, I don’t think one should live by that code.
Be strong, vigilant too, not everyway is a way for you.
No o.
Trust your journey.
Ok?
Cheers to us future billionaires!!
From my conversations with remi.❤️
Have you ever sat and wondered what exactly you consider your hobbies are?
Do you even have hobbies??
No, not something else you can monetize.
I noticed that our generation, if we can’t monetize something or get instant gratification from it , we move on to the next thing, fast!
Do you play basketball because you want to be the next lebron?
Or you play just because you want to?
While I was growing up, I was a very sick child so I grew up in an extremely controlled environment, I mean I could pick up anything from any other child and that could be it, no more adun moneyyyy😹😹
I remember that one time, I wanted to learn the guitar and somehow somehow. I caught something from my friend who was teaching me how to play and that was it, no more guitar.
And I sure didn’t have the time to cultivate any habits In uni, I just wanted to pass my studies and make money 😹
And now?
I’m getting so Involved in making a better life for myself and for those around me that I’m just realizing that if I continue this way, yes I might reach the desired rich aunty status, but that will be all
You and I need to actually evaluate our lives, we’re not commodities, everything we do shouldn’t be about making money.
Create hobbies, take pictures, do things for the fun of it, create art just because you want to and just be at peace.
Fall In love with yourself,learn the things that you like,
Take care of yourself, workout, try out the hairstyles you’ve always wanted to, take videos, live in the moment.
Don’t let life pass you by while you’re trying to stack up your bread o.
Life is precious , you need to actually live it ,
Ok?
Ok.
I know today is the assigned holiday for all lovers everywhere and there’s so much “blues” in the air, I love to see it, I totally love LOVE.✨
The sweetness, almost achy -ness in new lovers, the old sweet familiarity in long time couples and the sweet longing in singles, who will never admit but also want to be loved😹
I don’t really have big words today, but here’s what I have for you.
I hope today that you get love the way you want it.
I hope whatever sweetness you’re feeling right now , doesn’t turn to bitterness.
I hope you learn to enjoy the moment, savor and live in it.
I hope you know that you’re loved and that while it’s nice to get gifts, it’s not everything.
I hope you learn to appreciate the love you receive everyday and not just on this day.
I hope you know that Jesus loves you.
I hope you’ll love purely, without fear, or hurt.
I hope that your heart heals and that one day, the love you receive, that you believe you don’t deserve, you’ll trust in it and also be able to love freely like that.
And also, I hope you love yourself enough to leave the relationships that hurt you.
To all situationships, relationships, and whatever “ships” you’re in ,I hope that you find a love that not only gives purely but also freely and that you can reciprocate in the same manner.
To my “singletons” I hope you know today is also for you, nothing is wrong with you, you’re worthy of love and if you’ll just give yourself time, you’ll get exactly what you need.
This is a gift from my heart to you, happy Valentine’s Day my jaiye babies.❤️
Stay loved.
P.S: if you want to really get in your feelings today, listen to “used to you and it’s you ,” by Ali Gatie
Heck, listen to the whole album if you want.😹
Have you ever sat down for hours in the sun, just staring and letting your mind wander aimlessly???
And thinking about the people you’ve come across , the society you live in?
I know a whole lot of people who have come from very messed up backgrounds but somehow, they’ve have managed to stay good and kind( this is a shoutout to you my friends)
Now, there might still be childhood trauma lurking around but don’t we all have that to deal with?
Now as semi-adults, we live in a society they does not necessarily allow you to express yourself.
I mean truly express yourself, do what you want as per career , owning your own intricacies, discovering your sexuality, hell discovering yourself.
Life isn’t clear cut and we should stop folding ourselves into the paths that society has cut for us.
We’re so repressed as young adults that by the time we decide to break out, we end up overdoing.
Do you know how many people deal with trauma that they’re not even aware of?
Hell, do you know how much behavioral pattern is formed from the consequences of traumatic experiences that we don’t even realize that we act this certain way because of past experiences?
I, personally suffer from anxiety, so much that I get anxious and suspicious when things are going on too smooth for a while?
Not that I try to sabotage it or anything , I just get worried.
And when I get worried, I get defensive , preparing for an attack that might never come.
I mean for why exactly?? Why??
Because of past experiences.
I’ve been winging it a lot lately and I don’t want to live like that. I want a soft life, where I’m tender with myself , where I’m kind and forgiving, where I don’t always have my guards up,
A life where loud noises and bangs, doesn’t startle me, sending me into semi panic attacks.
I deserve a soft life so I’m deciding to be kind to myself, and to others.
And you should.
Be tender, vulnerability is not a disease, stop using hard guy and “odeshi” to cover up trauma.
If you do this, then maybe you and I can be less damaged and more imperfect in an already damaged world .
Somehow , we can see our scars and still be at peace with it.
So take more milky showers, and sunbaths and allow your mind to be at peace.
If you ever watched gossip girls then you have to know that Blair and Serena had the most beautiful yet toxic friendship.
And honestly that is definitely not goals.
It’s funny how we put so much effort and strength into your romantic relationships and crazy how we don’t run the same levels for our friendships.
I do not have a lot of friends but to be honest the few I have are amazing people, with their faults and warts but don’t we all?
I do not think it’s possible to be friends if you’re not to some extent in love with each other.
And I’m not talking of the romantic type, I mean genuine likeness and kindness.
I tell my friends that I love them, a lot.
Sometimes randomly, sometimes in between conversations.
Because I actually do, I love how they react when we have conversations, I love how their faces light up when I tell a dumb joke.
Infact, sometimes I like how they handle arguments and fight that we have, sometimes maturedly and sometimes with doses of temperaments.
It’s what completes them as humans.
The fact is that, if you do not invest in your friendships, it’s bound to fall off.
I’m not saying “talk everyday friendships “ in my opinion, that’s stressful.
I mean people that understand that you can’t always be available, people that you both can step back into your lives and adjust as the situation demands.
Send your friends emails, talk to them, go on friendship dates, pray together, walk together, have people that align with the life you want.
You also have to know this, some friendships are not meant to last a lifetime, some have seasons, so also know when that season is over, and deeply appreciate the time you’ve spent together and let go.
Also please don’t have only “mall friends “
I call them mall friends because they’re only there when it’s good and sweet for you but disappear faster than a lit matchstick when they’re needed.
Have friends that can pray for you, pray with you, stand for you, stand by you and vice versa.
Remember, relationships are two way streets, and you cannot chop life alone, so why not do it with people you genuinely like and make sure that the feeling is mutual?
See know this, if someone likes you, you’ll definitely know.
P.S: just like In romantic relationships, trust and honesty is fundamental to successful friendships, they go hand in hand.
Stop lying to your friends, it’s a very dirty and disgusting behavior, I’d prefer you’d rather not let them know.
Trust is crucial, friends also have trust issues when you mess up.
Anyways, let your friends know that you love them this week.
Also!
Before I go, not everyone you know is your friends, some are meant to be acquaintances, classmates and random people you’ve come across, not every time upgrade everyone to friends.
Protect your space, guard your energy.
Remember to chop life.❤️
Yo!
Do you know that tomorrow, 8th March is the designated international women’s day??
You didn’t? Now you know!
But that’s not the main issue here.
I have noticed that as humans, sometimes we tend to forget just how much we love and appreciate those around us, or even forget to show it and then on these designated days, we go all out, as if atoning for something AND THEN, after that day, it’s back to the usual.
Please, be intentional about the ones that you claim you love, see, I have ended relationships because they weren’t intentional enough about the way they loved me, while I was truly sincere with them.
You cannot claim you love people and it’s just by your words they know, your actions also have to speak love.
now I know that it’s not easy to always show people that you love them, especially if you’re occupied with your own life.
I’m not telling you to dedicate your entire lives to the ones you love, I’m telling you to be intentional.
Love them the way you breathe, effortlessly.
This will also be easy to do if you have the right circle around you, stop celebrating both the men and the women in your lives on just holidays!!!!!
I’m screaming it.
Today, I do not have much to say, all I have to tell you is that, intentional love heals, it helps, and you will see that when you do these things with genuine people, they also love you back the same way, basically creating an environment of trust, of vulnerability, of commitment and of compassion.
Please, let your life be soft.
Also, treat your women right, today, tomorrow and forever.
They are after all the backbone of the very society.
To all my women, and to all the women that would read this, I love you so much and y’all keep breaking the table!!!
You keep going after the careers you want, the lives you want, the way you want to be loved!!
Happy international women’s day in advance.❤️
Once again, be intentional, both about love and about the people you let in.
Jaiye babes, you deserve very intentional love!
Don’t settle.❤️🌸
Also, love intentionally, you know our two way street rule.
I love you guys so much, have an amazing week.
So you know how it’s like you have a thousand things you want to do, but at the same time, it’s like you don’t have the resources to?
And at the same time the point at which you are in your life, it seems like you’re overdue in it but it just seems like you’re stuck?
Well, this night, I’m not here to tell you when it’s going to be better, or to tell you to hold on or anything radical like that because let’s be honest, it’s not exactly easy.
I just want you to remember when you fervently wished or maybe devoutly prayed to be at the exact point in which you are now.
Remember?
Now,
Pause.
So why does it seem you’re never going to leave this space?
I know it’s a lot harder, I think there’s a saying that says that the higher you go the tougher it gets, but see, did you just wake up one day and find yourself in this stage?
No nowwww, so why do you punish yourself so hard with overthinking?
Why do you think this is the end of the road?
You haven’t even done a quarter of your live’s mission.
So much food to eat , so much sight to see, so much to be accomplished , I promise, you can’t even begin to imagine it.
I’m here to tell you to stop feeling sorry for yourself, to stop feeling like nothing’s working.
To chill.
Carry on, yes, drink your water, wipe your face, go on and do you.
Soon enough, you’ll only faintly remember these crappy feelings in you right now.
The human memory isn’t that strong don’t worry.
Have an amazing week.❤️🌸
I haven’t written anything here for like two weeks because frankly, I was just fed up.
I mean, what help is the consistency doing?
And truly, when I write, it’s like my worries fade as I write too, but even that feeling has been lost on me for a while now.
And I’ve really wanted to give up, on a lot of things because it just seems no matter how hard I work or try, it’s not going the way I planned .
I saw a piece of writing today that said “no matter how hard you work or pray or curse or try, if the time is not right, then it just won’t click”
At first, I was pissed because, what is this dust they’re yarning?
But after I thought of it again, it’s true.
Lol, it’s a bit harsh but that’s the honest reality, because no matter how much you work hard or wish for things to go well , if certain situations don’t come and align for you, then it just won’t work out.
But does that mean you should stop trying?
I mean, what’s the point of all your previous hard work if you just up and give up despite the fact that you haven’t accomplished what you set out to do?
lol don’t do it mehn.
I know it’s rich coming from me, and I never said that there won’t be times you just want to throw everything in the gutter and disappear.
It’s ok to rest, but think of it?
If you don’t accomplish your goals and reach your desired space , what will you do?
Nothing o
So you have to keep at it, keep going, so that when the time is right and it’s your own table, you wouldn’t be caught unawares.
And that time will come.
Don’t doubt it.
Stay jiggy , my chop life friends.
Today, I do not have much on my to-do list but just to write.
Today, I write for the broken-hearted
I write for those with turbulent emotions
I write for those who can’t show emotions, who have learnt to tuck their feelings away, to not show too much, lest you be identified as a weakling.
I write for the disillusioned young adults who for years have believed that it gets better but it just doesn’t seem to.
I swr, it gets better.
It does, so don’t you dare lose your last shred of innocence, the pure simplicity of enjoying happy moments, just because they’re far from each other.
I write for those who are angry and restless, it seems the world itself is against you, that system itself has set you up for failure.
I ask that you be at peace and that rather, you strengthen yourself and beat the odds, because you can.
I write for those who feel like all their lives, all they’ve been doing was fighting to survive, just for the breath in their lungs and even now, it’s seems that they can’t catch a break.
I write for those who feel inadequate, who feel because of certain problems, that they need to hide themselves, because they’d never be enough.
I ask that you raise your head up high, you’re not your circumstance and you are enough.
I write for those with shattered hopes, to pick up the pieces, it’s not the end.
I write for those who are tired, to rest and receive strength.
See life is “tuff” but don’t be downcast, it gets better, or you get stronger.❤️✨
One of my favorite places in the whole wide world has to be the arcade
It’s the way you get lost in the virtual reality that does it for me, I mean while wacking a mole, you get to forget how upset you are, or how annoying the world is.
The only thing I’ve written in about two months, is probably my name and my nysc call up number.😭😹
See, I’m currently running my mandatory one year national youth service corps (nysc) for the country and my plans went to shit right from my call up letter, where I was posted to Gombe, (a far far northern state in Nigeria , seriously it’s so far, it’s almost another country)
I was so disheartened but God being God, he fixed it, then came the primary place of appointment (ppa) and boy oh boy, was I in for a show.
In these few months, I got to see people, in a totally different light, plainly humans are fickle, but you see the ones that have been assigned to help you by God, they truly will not leave until they’ve done what they were sent to do.
Honestly, all these took a toll on me and once again I let go of all the plans I had for this particular stage I’m in right now, just because it hadn’t taken the direction I wanted it to.
Literally, my mind is just starting to heal and getting ready to go again.
And here’s the takeaway I got from this whole drama.
- plans are good, really good, it gives you a sense of purpose and direction
- But know this, five out of ten times, plans always go to shit, unless all variables have been worked out to give you your desired results, then maybe nine out of ten times.
- But even at this, they don’t always go the exact way you panned out.
And this always deeply hurts , especially for overachievers and big dreamers like me.
But here’s the thing, despite the way it may look, that’s it’s not going according to the way you want it,
you somehow always find yourself right in the middle of what you need at that particular time, now it’s left to you if you’ll take use of the cards you’ve been given or you’ll let go entirely just because it didn’t go the exact way you thought it was going to be like.
Don’t settle just because the one step you took didn’t take you to where you were aiming for , sis (this is gender neutral) where you are right now is still so far to where you want to be!
just know that because of the magnitude of your dreams, you might not get it quite right, or even at all from the first trial but keep at it, never ever lose focus.
And if you do, dust off and let’s go again.
Me?
The feasible plans that are still possible for me to take control of, I’m working towards them.
I’m back to writing again,
And I’m back to being the soft babe that I am.
😹
But seriously, sometimes it’s okay, it’s okay to feel mad at life or the situation you’re in, but don’t let it take away from you, at all!
And also, if you genuinely let God do his thing, everything comes together for your good, this has been tested and it’s trusted.
Have a soft week jaiye babes, let’s go at this life thing again!
Isiah 43:2
❤️✨
Music: love me like that.
SAM KIM.
Hiiiii, I know you’re thinking that where did the weekend go to?
Like it was barely Friday and now it’s a mere hours to the start of the new week, but look at you, gearing up and getting ready to do it all over again.
So you see, last week, I started my French lessons again, as being multi-lingual is one of the things I’ve always been passionate about but ,I’ve never had the willpower to actually learn like for a whole complete year , I was tired of just thinking about it and not doing it.
So I made up my mind to start, and try not to miss any day lessons.
Boy, was it HARD.
I won’t lie to you, it was hard, sometimes I wasn’t even doing anything, I’d just procrastinate and push the lessons forward and I always felt ashamed and just bad about the fact that I couldn’t even see this through.
But here’s the thing, disruption of habitual patterns take time, I mean I shouldn’t expect to just make up my mind to do something and just like that, be perfect at it.
What about my habits of procrastination?
Of forgetfulness?
The truth is that, self development has to be the hardest shit out here and sometimes you legit have no one cheering you up to do it.
Infact it might be something you feel comfortable sharing with even the people around you, so who exactly is cheering you on?
See, you’re doing just fine and that’s why you shouldn’t allow shame to swallow you when you relapse or fall back.
Like it’s enough victory that you have acknowledged areas you need to get better at, and you are actually working towards it.
It’s an entire marathon, because you have your life ahead of you.
You’re doing amazing and you should clap for yourself more often than you beat yourself down.
I know it’s easy to feel deflated or defeated but whenever you do, come back to this post, to remind yourself of how much progress you’ve achieved.
Also, trust God and he will help you to become that better version that you’re aiming for.
Have an amazing week.❤️✨
Proverbs 3: 5_6
Music:
Silence by POMPI.
Have you ever been in this space where it just feels like you’re in a mental lull?
Like things are going well, you enjoy your job, everything seems fine outwardly but inside there’s just this achy heaviness?
It’s feels like you’ve been set back years, like the mental and emotional progress you’ve made just suddenly diminish?
Yup, this is was where I was at the entire week.
And every single event that was happening to me seemed like a trigger to stuff I thought I had healed from.
Like something happened at my place of service, a woman I share an office with said something so crappy about me and normally, I wouldn’t have taken it but it just seemed like the icing on the cake of a perfectly crappy week.
I got home that day, got on the phone with my friend and just cried so bad.
Like I literally cried for hours.
I felt so open and so vulnerable and it felt like the things that I had overcome before were suddenly back in full force and I was just overwhelmed.
Honestly?
I still feel a bit like that.
But I’m coming to the realization that, first of:
These are just feelings, albeit valid but they’re just feelings
Two: the things that people say or the way they act, shouldn’t define how you should feel, especially when it’s not something you can help.
And finally, if you’ve overcome your worst days before, then why do you feel like what you are going through right now is going to end you?
Not to invalidate your struggles but you’ve come this far, you’ve done so much to be in this very moment, why should you let this move you so bad?
I know life’s “tuff”, feelings suck but babes, you’re “tuffa”
And it’s going to be just fine.
You’re going to bo okay, but you have to want it.
Don’t stay in that mental lull
Don’t stay in the self pity, ever.
You’re so much more.
Life is for living, you should focus on that and cheer up ok?
Have an amazing week ahead.
Remember, God loves you so much, so much more than you can imagine.
1 Peter 5:7❤️
MUSIC: Heat waves by glass animals.✨
See now, if you ever watched avatar the last airbender then you probably get the reference but if you haven’t , then this is me recommending it as the greatest animation to ever be created, so hop on it.
It goes like this, there’s a war outside the city walls and it’s so bad that even the walls have almost been breached, but everyone in the city believes that there’s no war.
And I personally believe that not only because they were hypnotized but also because they fell into the false sense of security or simply because they just didn’t want to deal with the fire nation shit( in this case, real life issues)
And I feel like when life gets real, we do not like to admit and face it fully because trust me, no one wants to leave their comfort zone and deal with one stressful event or another.
But I’ve come to know that in life, the crises that we don’t like to face, births the growth and beginnings that we yearn for.
And in order to get the peace that you yearn for so badly, you must first come to terms with the ugly parts of both yourself and the life you live.
Accept that life gets complicated.
Work on yourself, fix the problems in your control, leave the ones you can’t to God.
But don’t delude yourself.
Delusion is dangerous for your growth and for the space you deserve to be.
That said, I’ll leave this bible passage with you.
2 Corinthians 9:8
Have an amazing week.❤️✨
Music: No child left behind.
Artist: Kanye.
I CAN NOT believe that we’re literally a month to 2022
*exhales in the blood of Jesus.*
It feels like so many things happened this year and at the same time not enough.
For me, I was able to stick to some of my goals and ace them but also in some aspects, bro did I take a lot of L’s.
The year isn’t over so I want to say a few things.
There’s a particular bible passage that says, “the latter will be better than the former” so if you can key into this, then perfect.
I want you to know that God is still in the business of answering prayer requests.
It’s still possible to ace your exams ,
You can still go ahead and create your artwork ,
You can still pitch your ideas on that platform ,
And that job email you sent?
They can still reply to it, even though it’s been months you sent it in.
Don’t look down on 2021 just yet.
You can still “jaiye” , your ideas are still valid.
There’s a lot to accomplish and you can still do it.
And if 2021 was a really good year for you, I hope that it only gets better and better.
Be kind to yourself, speak affirmative words to your goals, drink water and have so much fun.
I wish you peace and happiness this month.
Once you’re a “jaiye” babe, then you’ll always find reasons to rejoice and “jaiye”
Till next time,
Haggai 2:7-9✨
Stay safe❤️✨
Music: My Universe ✨
Artists: Coldplay X BTS
As I walked down the stairs with a piece of meat in my mouth, I wondered why I wasn’t more confrontational
Or why I wasn’t as confrontational as I saw other people be.
Something had happened between i and my very close friend.
Earlier during the weeks, she asked me to help research on a couple of bookstores as she was just getting into African literature and wanted to know the best places to go.
And of course I did, scoured the internet, asked a couple of people, made sure that I got lots of reviews and so I sent everything in to her.
And out of like ten voice notes that I sent?
She just replied to one.
In a manner that hurt me.
Because I had done all this work and I couldn’t even get a proper reply?
But instead of talking about how I felt?
I said nothing.
Why?
Because I hated confrontations and this was because I had linked talking about how how I felt, with a fight.
And I didn’t want to fight with her.
But later that day, I went back, calmer and told her exactly how I had felt.
And then she explained to me why she had replied in that manner and the whole situation just flowed easily.
Here’s what I want you takeaway from this:
- Unlearn that confrontations means you’re fighting.
- When people act in certain manners that’s you do not like, call them out, not in a fight mode, but in an expressive manner.
- It’s okay to say how you feel.❤️
Have an amazing week everyone, don’t forget to enjoy every moment of your days!!
Music: beautifully.
Artist: Fave.
You know how you’re doing the very simple things like folding your clothes or trying to pop the next popcorn in your mouth and then this embarrassing memory from 2012 just does a sneak attack on you, and all you can do Is cringee like hell because your entire body clenches from remembering that particular memory?
Now you’re left fighting for you life for the next five seconds😹
Well, you’re not the only one that goes through this.
Sometimes, these memories come up because it’s linked to a traumatic situation
But most times, the memories are just randoms that pop up in our days and has our butts clenching down hard💀
And I have finally hacked how to deal with it!
The first step is acceptance!
Accept that you did this embarrassing thing and it’s coming back to haunt you.
Once you do that, it’s easier to deal with how you’re feeling in that moment.
Acknowledge the fact that you’re human and that you flop every now and then because it’s perfectly normal:
Also :
Remove your glasses and tell yourself , “it is what it is!!”
😹
I’m serious, try this.
Stop taking yourself so seriously when this flashbacks happen, relax and just let it take its course.
And finally be nicer to yourself, be softer and more forgiving of yourself when you make mistakes and be willing to let go.
After all, you’re only human.❤️
Music : Ornament
Artiste: klah Victoria.
I used to love reading books.
Like growing up, that was the only thing I did best😹
I’d just sit down and read and read and read.
But one day, I came across this book and I didn’t know it then but it was going to ruin my relationship with books
It was so freaking sad, like I think that was my first real experience with grief.
And as a child then, I felt everything to the the extreme.
If I was sad, then I was sad for the entire day.
So catching that emotion from this particular book( I’m not placing the name of the book because honestly no one deserves to read that kind of stuff)
I was stunned and i grieved for weeks.
I couldn’t finish the book, so I burned it.
Yup.
I burned the book, right in my fathers backyard.
And for years, I didn’t touch a single book that wasn’t relevant to what I was studying in school.
And if I had to read?
They were lighthearted twenty pages stories and that was it.
Instead, I chose to watch movie adaptations.
But thankfully in recent years, I’ve overcome and still trying to overcome the experience and I’m nurturing my love for books again.
Basically this is what I’m trying to say.
Sometimes in this life that we live in, a single experience can ruin someone’s journey.
And it can take years before it’s ever forgotten and that is very valid.
But I hope that one day, you’ll get the courage to try again, and that one day, you’ll love yourself again and you’d want to be that version of yourself again.
Please, don’t let your trauma hold you back.
All we can do in this world is try.
So try again.
And let your heart be filled with goodness once more.❤️✨
Music: Skate
Artist: Bruno Mars
So, December is finally here, first off:
My guyyyyyyyy, you’ve tried!
You’ve gone through the entire year and not only thrived but you’ve made yourself so much better.
Now I know that there are a whole bunch of events this month and you want to show for everything!
I understand , because me too😹
I mean do you see the concerts and events line up?
It’s intense.
Which is why I’m here to tell you to take it easy.
By all means, have fun, you totally deserve but at the same time, relax.
Because here’s a trend I’ve noticed with the “detty December hype”
There’s so much pressure to have fun and show everywhere, even when it’s not so comfortable for you.
Don’t be shaken by all the “fun” and the good vibes around.
But most importantly do not feel left out.
In your own way, have fun and relax.
Believe me, you don’t have
to show up for everything!
I’d be dropping some tips to help you have a relatively safe and fun December without overdoing it.
- have a budget: speaking from experience, it’s extremely important that you not only have a budget but don’t go over it, especially if you’re going to be attending a lot of events. It’s easy to get caught up and overspend, a budget will guide you.
- Always stay hydrated: if you’re going to be spending lots of days or nights outside than you usually do, then always have a bottle of water with you, if you’re on any prescribed medications, please make sure you take them with you! There’s no shame in putting your health first and still having fun responsibly.
- Do not try new drugs; see I know the temptation this holds but please if you don’t know what you’re taking in, just don’t do it.
- And last, be present: Don’t be so carried away, that you don’t even know what’s going on around you, be at alert, don’t loose guard!
- Drink responsibly!
And for home bodies, this year,eat your popcorns and stream your concerts and Just have fun in your own way.(but go for one event at least, grace us with your beautiful faces😹)
Breathe, there are many Decembers to celebrate.
Wizkid will still hold more concerts.
Ok?
Ok.
Stay safe and have an amazing week!
M
Music: Mayana.
Artist: Asa.
You know how we were always asked what we wanted to be when we grew up?
I never had a definite answer.
One time I wanted to be a back up guitar player,
Another a lawyer?
😹
But here’s what I’ve noticed.
The world likes to put everything and everyone in neat little labels.
Which can be good for clarification purposes.
BUT.
Why must you go along with that thought process, when you’re limitless?
Just because you’re one thing at the moment does not mean you can not be another.
Give yourself the permission to try the other things that you’ve always wanted to,
This is not me telling you to be fickle or jump from one career to the other.
It’s me telling you that if you’re not satisfied with pursuing just a smidge of your life passions, then by all means , go for more!
You’re so much more than you are rn.
Just know that it might take a bit of time, but you definitely can have it all.
There’s so much possiblility.
Open your mind and refuse to be boxed in.
Don’t let labels define you
Find out for yourself how far you can go and how much you can do.
A new year Is coming, I think it’s time you unbox yourself and take steps into discovering who you truly are, and how versed your abilities are.
Test new waters, take calculated risks.
You owe it to yourself to be much more.
Have an amazing week.
Philippians. 4:6
Music: Infinity.
Artist: Jaymes Young.
I’ve always heard people talk about how the festive period sometimes give them the blues.
And I’ve never had to deal with that.
Well until recently.
It’s a day to Christmas and all I feel is “meh”
And I’ve also had friends say this is how they feel exactly, so I know I’m not alone in this.
I don’t know if it’s the weather, if it’s the looming new year, I just know that it’s not super “Christmasy” right now.
Well, I’ve decided to get my head together and count my blessings, literally.
Try to not dwell on the feelings you’re having about the period, or the anxiety that you’re probably dealing with from work and or how the new year is going to work.
Just be, relax, try to get involved with your family.
If your friends are around,
make plans to go see Spider-Man, or the new matrix movie, do something nice for someone that could also bring at smile to your face.
For now?
Just don’t think of anything.
Don’t worry about anything.
And to help you with this, I’ve made a playlist of ten different songs about Christmas and the joys of it.
Be thankful that you’re here.
You’re healthy.
You’re breathing.
You’re here.
Merry Christmas my friend, and I wish you a prosperous New year!
Luke 2:10
To get the playlist just click on the link below and it’d lead you to it.
Also this is the last post of the year,
See you on the first day of the new year!❤️✨
https://music.apple.com/ng/playlist/christmas-playlist-to-chase-the-blues/pl.u-AkAmPgesxeo5ALb?ls
I’ve always heard people talk about how the festive period sometimes give them the blues.
And I’ve never had to deal with that
Well until recently.
It’s a day to Christmas and all I feel is “meh”
And I’ve also had friends say this is how they feel exactly, so I know I’m not alone in this.
I don’t know if it’s the weather, if it’s the looming new year, I just know that it’s not super “Christmasy” right now.
Well, I’ve decided to get my head together and count my blessings, literally.
Try to not dwell on the feelings you’re having about the period, or the anxiety that you’re probably dealing with from work and or how the new year is going to work.
Just be, relax, try to get involved with your family.
If your friends are around, make plans to go see Spider-Man, or the new matrix movie, do something nice for someone that could also bring at smile to your face.
For now?
Just don’t think of anything.
Don’t worry about anything.
And to help you with this, I’ve made a playlist of ten different songs about Christmas and the joys of it.
Be thankful that you’re here.
You’re healthy.
You’re breathing.
You’re here.
Merry Christmas my friend, and I wish you a prosperous New year!
Luke 2:10
To get the playlist just click on the link below and it’d lead you to it.
Also this is the last post of the year,
See you on the first day of the new year!❤️✨
Honestly, I wasn’t going to discuss the struggles of the new month/ new year thing, because personally I think it’s overdone.
But apparently the Holy Spirit doesn’t, and he’s the director of this show, so here we are.
You know how we do the the new year, new me, new plans thing?
Where we then go about it for like two weeks and that’s it?( this might not be your situation and that’s fine.)
Well this was me last year, because truly and genuinely I really did want to go through with it, but it happened that I didn’t, at least for some of the plans.
Why?
I wanted it badly enough, I just didn’t have the discipline to go through with it.
So this year, I told myself that I wasn’t going to try adding new plans to my plate, I’d just go ahead with the ones I already had, but fine tune it more.
And so far so good.
Basically this is what I’m trying to say, before you try to follow the train , to write out your plans like everyone is doing, sit down, calm down and look at your situation deeply.
Have you gone through with what you’re doing at the moment, have you truly finished the work you’ve been blessed with?
Or are just lying to yourself?
I think that you need to be honest and check yourself.
For example if you’re someone who is into content writing, have you reached the level you’re aspiring for?
Do you like where you are in this particular place?
So why don’t you make plans to go deeper in there?
Study it, fine tune it, instead of going ahead and making plans you just know you’re not going to stick to!
And see if you’re going to do this, then you’re going to have to show up.
You’re going to have to be consistent, that even when you fall off, you can pick yourself up and move.
If you show up at the one thing you know that you have to do, everyday, there’s no way you won’t have growth, there’s no way your art/work/growth won’t be recognized.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you shouldn’t have a schedule, in-fact I advocate for this, because it gets you to where you’re going faster.
I’m just telling you that, what you’re doing right now? You just need to do it better.
Don’t wait for inspiration, it’ll fail you.
You just need to be courageous, to trust in yourself, to know when you need help, to receive help, to be bold and to consistently show up.
This post is definitely not for everyone, but I hope that the people who need it, find it or it finds them.
And that every single thing you need, to be better, to keep going, I hope you get.
Remember, you only need to ask God.
He’s willing, he wants to be there for you.
You just need to ask.
This year? God, discipline and yourself will get you to where you need to be.
Have an amazing week ahead of you.
Music: Taste.
Artist: Rhye.
OH HEY, FOR BEST VIEWING, YOU'LL NEED TO TURN YOUR PHONE