Ever notice when it’s time to get something done (such as a class assignment or even taking a bath) & you give your kids a choice, they often choose what THEY want to do and not what YOU want them to do?
Your language can really have an effect on their decisions!
Here’s an example. “Luca, are you ready for a bath?” This leaves room for Luca to answer negatively... “No! I don’t want to take a bath!”
Or even negotiating with the child with statements like, “I’ll let you play with your Mickey Mouse Doll if you promise to do your class work later.” ... chances are he won’t do the class work because you already gave him his reward!
Language like this gives too much control to the kiddo in a situation where you’re supposed to be the one in control.
The Premack Principle states that you’re likely to get your desired outcome if you have the child do the less desired behavior first followed by the opportunity to engage in a more desired behavior.
Keep it simple! Say something like “Luca - first take a bath, then you can play with your Mickey Doll.” The bath is the undesirable behavior for him, but if he does it, he earns what he wants! The Mickey doll!
Another example could be, “Luca — First do your class work, then you can play with the Mickey Doll.”
There is no room for “no”, complaints or negotiation. Repeat the direction if you have to parents and teachers!
FIRST this, THEN that!