The 5 Love Languages - Gary Chapman —

My review

If you are married and feel like love in your relationship is fading or the spark is diminishing then this book is for you .
The author Gary Chapman talks about 5 different love languages .
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch

If you and your spouse often find yourselves nagging to each other and don’t feel loved enough , that would as per author mean that may be your love tank is empty.

I recommend you read this book and learn to speak your mate’s love language that would result in full love tank and the spark will surely come back .

MY FAVOURITE LINES from the book .
REAL LOVE is emotional in nature but not obsessional. It is love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline , and it recognises the need for personal growth.

A LITTLE BIT OF EVERY LANGUAGE

1. WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
Verbal compliments or words of appreciation are powerful communicators of love .
Instead of nagging try to say encouraging, kind and humble words.
Look for your spouse’s strength and tell him/her how much you appreciate those strengths.
DO: Always appreciate your mate’s effort no matter how small.
DON’T: Bring up past mistakes.
Do unnecessary nagging.

2. QUALITY TIME
It means giving someone your undivided attention.
Some couple think they are spending time together when in reality they are only living in close proximity. They are in the same house at the same time , but they are not together.
Look at each other and talk to each other without any distraction .
Be a good listener.
Try doing quality activities in which you both have interest.
DO: Daily share time in which each of you will talk about 3 things that happened that day and how you feel about it .
Share at least 2 pictures of things going on when you are in long distance or one of you is travelling.
DON’T : Give advice until requested.

3. RECEIVING GIFTS
A gift is something you can hold in your hand and say “Look he/she was thinking of me” or “he remembered me” .
Gifts need not be expensive, it could be something like a rose or a chocolate .
THE GIFT OF SELF is an intangible gift that sometimes speaks more loudly than a gift that can be held in one’s hand. Its the gift of being present.
DO: Surprise your spouse with a gift or an experience at least once in a month.
DON’T: Go overboard buying unnecessary items.

4. ACTS OF SERVICE
It means doing something you know your spouse would like you to do. You seek to please your spouse by serving him/her, to express your love for her by doing things for him/her. Eg: help in kitchen , help in finance, etc etc
It requires thought, planning, time, effort and energy. If done with a positive spirit, they are indeed expressions of love.
If your spouse’s love language is acts of service, then “Actions speak louder than words.”
DO: Act of service always with a positive spirit . Remember you are choosing to love .
DON’T: Pressure yourself to perform a service.

5. PHYSICAL TOUCH
Physical touch is a way of communicating emotional love . Its a powerful way for communicating marital love.
“Whatever there is of me resides in my body. to touch my body is to touch me. To withdraw from my body is to distance yourself from me emotionally.”
If your spouse’s primary love language is physical touch your words may mean little, but your physical touch will communicate that you care.
DO: Have sex at least once a week and keep it juicy at least once in a month.
If your spouse’s primary love language is physical touch try holding hands, giving hugs and kisses whenever appropriate.
DON’T: Be too much touchy especially if your spouse’s language is not physical touch, that may hinder their privacy.

I suggest you to read entire book to learn about these languages in depth with author’s real life experiences with couples and also find out ways to discover your and your mate’s love language.

400 Day by Chetan Bhagat —

My review

If you are a fan of ‘Crime Patrol’ series then this book is 100% recommended to you.

Its about a thirteen year old girl named ‘Siya’ who is kidnapped from her grandparents place in middle of the night.
Police unable to find her declares it as a cold case, but her mother Alia who is very much determined to find her hires two detectives Keshav & Saurabh to find her daughter.
There is also a romance scene between Victim’s mother Alia and one of the detective named Keshav .
The mystery part in the book was good enough to captivate my attention till end.
(I mean I just could not stop turning pages , the mystery part made me so curious that i wanted to finish and find out kidnapper which was not revealed till end)

Apart from the mystery and romance part other points which were beautifully highlighted by Chetan Bhagat are:
1. The requirement of keeping an eye on our children’s internet activities . How it can be cruel/nasty to them in some ways.
2. How a couple’s relationship and the way they talk to each other can impact their child’s life .
3. Friendship between both detectives Keshav & Saurabh.
4. Also has some Indian soap opera type drama between Alia (victim’s mother) & her mother in law Durga .
5. Also this book I guess is meant to create awareness among parents about how they cannot even trust close friends and family when it comes to child’s safety. (Especially regarding the sexual motive).