Sun kissed and sleepy eyed
I stumbled from my Bruntsfield flat
An early shift at the Royal
dialysis day ahead.

The sun not quite hot
Meadows dew evaporates under
Campus wearing feet.

There's a breeze blowing
Forth bound
brain aired and ready for action.

Cherry blossom colour
surrounds me
a fit person jogs by.

On Chalmers asphalt
I'm nearly there
locker room smells of exhaustion and CK One.

Dressed in white
I stroll through well buffed corridors
disinfectant mixed with a morning fag.

Checking my smile
I breeze in to the ward
hardly an angel.

This time you told yourself it's over
Too much hurt with no gain
Wasted years spent giving yourself
No sunshine life only rain

Love isn’t easy everyone knows
Love is strong when it grows
A heart muscle cut is what you feel
The pain is over, my love heals

Time slips from your hand in tears
And words said in fury don't disappear
This time you know what has to be done
No more third chances this race is run

Love isn’t easy, everyone knows
Love is strong when it grows
A heart muscle cut is what you feel
The pain is over, my love heals

A fortunate moon shone it's love light on me
Your love's a gift accepted graciously
No pain will I cause only hearts and smiles
My love will help your heart and head reconcile.

Love isn’t easy, everyone knows.
Love is strong when it grows.
A heart muscle cut is what you feel
The pain is over, my love heals

A moment in time
on a Edinburgh
summer night
a 70s club in
Moray House.

Inside was heaving
hot and humid
and I tried to shake
my stuff.

Drink flowed
and peopled glowed
but there was only
you and me.

Under disco lights
we held each other
stuck in the heat of the night.

All I could think about
was your lips
all I wanted
was a kiss.

I wasn't brave enough
and the moment passed
but not the memory.

As for the missed
kiss
years later I made up
for lost time.

And for an eternal
minute or hour
or was it days
I was yours
and you were mine.

The long night of a Linicro winter
bleak and bone cold in bed.

Days are short and often unkind
darkness drops like a brick ton.

Rain leaching to marrow
breath condensed and dreary.

Frigid winds cut through clothes like a stone sharpened scythe.

Big coats and boots mandatory
long hugs and rubber scented hot water bottles optional.

The sun rises on The Old Man of Storr on a crispy cool January day.
Its rays of gold pierce the hardest of stone but still the surface remains icy.

Marshmallow clouds separate revealing a blue eye coloured sky.
Breath condenses in the air and the hill is crunchy underfoot the sun will soon soften.

Eyes water at the magnificence of the needle and noses run and turn red.

The yellow ball of flames is in its apogee and still bones complain about the temperature.

In the shadow of this colossus we stand in awe of the bodach silent and strong.

Swapping city street concrete and graffiti for the emerald green of the Linicro hill. Double-decker buses no more a Plaxton Panorama his transport of choice.

Walking the treacherous roads to All Saints School now a dim and dusty memory.
His playground the whole North End and not a bully in sight but plenty bulls.

Freedom from soot and the Galloway Street grime is all he craved.
A gift bestowed by a loving angel his lungs now salted and strong.

The traffic of Springburn replaced by a tractor or two and a line of passing place signs.
The mist and the rain he gladly embraced if only winter mornings could be more kind.

No amount of money could tempt him back to the jungle of urbanity.
Poor in pocket he was for year's but rich in love for the heather hill and sea.

A new life in a new world made a new boy into a new man who time could not change. Island life was his for the taking and he grasped firmly with joy.

A memory snapshot of a Kodak colour moment, sitting outside the wee hoose. Summer colours faded like my jeans and Wrangler shirt.

Hills of heather and stone in front of my eyes, a frigid grey Minch behind me.
Long gone faces, driving long gone cars, waving to my long gone smile.

The summer sounds of silence, deafening and comforting.
A polaroid square stuck behind my fridge magnet heart.

The song remains and the soul remembers, an ever expanding and contracting bubble of time.
A singularity, a thought, a feeling, a big bang of foxglove and stingy nettles, with the taste of milky Maxwell House.

Memories live on, inside a Box Brownie roll of film, waiting to be exposed.

The ceilidh at Uig Hall is all feet, and sweaty brows.
Young guys hang around the dance floor edge, like birds of prey, ready to pounce.

In the gents, its crowded, a mini pub, half bottles of uisge beatha shared.
Outside, two drunks face off, ready to fight, over a girl, what else?

I awoke in the shadow of Castle Ewan on a postcard sunny day.
Refusing to move,
I looked to the heavens and wondered if I was dead or alive.

The Sheader air tingling, a foxglove fragrance hung above my head.
A fairy whisper, imperceptible in volume, tells me I'm in heaven on earth.

I remember sitting on John's school bus day in day out thinking about you.
Thinking if only you didn't have a boyfriend and if only I lived closer thats all that I would do.

In the school corridors I would keep an eagle eye out hoping to glimpse your morning face.
Sometimes if I was lucky we might meet for minute and chat those times I'd embrace.

At lunchtime my hope would be a word or two out of boyfriend view just me and you. Strolling from class to class laughing with the boys and eyeing the girls but thinking of us two.

Together on Wentworth Street or on the Square or at the swimming it was a full-time time occupation.
Love unrequited in a maroon blazer and Wrangler cords only the sight of you offered alleviation.

Time does what its supposed to do and many loves were won and lost and won and lost.
And how lucky I was to be alive and breathing on those Saturdays time was the best.

A melange of coloured lights flashed into the night sky.
Top twenty tunes, a clarion call, thundered from tinny speakers.
Gangs of guys and girls, descended upon the dump.

The shows were in town.

Friday night fun for the young, and the young at heart.
The atmosphere reeked of candy floss, Brut 45 and fear.

Gyrating waltzers, spun into a screaming oblivion.
Rib tickler turns, vomit inducing laughter, and sore shins.

Big wheel revolutions cradled lovers, chair-o-planes centrifuged bodies.
Gravity defying walls, sticky with limbs.

Most people smiling, some crying. Illuminated arcades, house coin hungry machines, one armed, pulled and pushed. Penny shuffles, goldfish and blunt darts, rock hard coconut rewards.

Head-on collisions, no broken bones, dodgem cars sparkle.
Dive dive dive, bombers without bombs. And when all the lights went out, we waited, and did it all again the next day.

Christmas Eve and going to bed early is easy, but sleep is the last thing on our mind. Eye's can't shut and our legs are restless, our thoughts are all the toy kind.

Waiting for the living room light to go out, a signal my folks have gone to bed.
We give it five more minutes, for them to sleep, then it's to the living room we head.

But sleep arrives and into the land of nod, white and red are the colours our dreams. When all at once we wake wondering how many hours have passed and our smiles begins to beam.

Out of bed in a flash as we run up the stairs living room bound.
No fear of the dark, not feeling the cold, we open the door and step into the Yuletide glow.

Christmas tree blinks a welcome, with cotton wool feet for snow.
Sleep scrubbed from our eyes we fantasize about what's wrapped up in the boxes below.

I jump on the prize that's in the biggest box and rip the paper off like a fiend.
In a toy fervour, surrounded by play things, so much fun with no folks to intervene.

At last the mad toy rush is over,  and we slowly come down from our toy high.
At five AM our energy sapped we put our heads down to the sound of a toy lullaby.

Our folks gently wake us and turn on the TV, Christmas Carol's the only sound.
Every wish come true, Action Man by my side,

We grab our coats and go out to Galloway Street.
Someone's singing White Christmas, on the ground there is no hint of snow.

To one and all we post a Christmas plea, and wish you and yours all the best.
Cheer's to a Happy New Year, were we hope your health and family are all blessed.

I first set my eyes on you,  
playing hockey in green shorts,  
all sporty and strong.

Mesmerized by your smile and body,  
I thought about you all day long.

Confident with a skinny smile
I introduced myself when I was sixteen.
You were a year above me with a boyfriend, but I wanted to be with you Christine.

What a glorious star-spangled sky
Linicro is cloudless and alive this night.

A waxing moon still shares it's highland silver light.
And I'm doing what Thin Lizzy told me to.

The Minch ripples with life and colour
the Stornoway lighthouse spotlights my moves.

He sees what others don't see
in the bathroom mirror reflection.
Behind his eyes lies the truth
an incapacity to feel he's loved.

The sad truth he's always known it
unable to open his heart.
A feeling of isolation encompasses
a pain sharper than a butchers blade.

What made this man his reflection asks
and how did he end up this way?
From a boy to a man to the grave
God's love his only salvation.

But he can give love
and this he does
from dawn to dusk
to friend and family.

And he knows he's loved
always has been.
Mirrored eyes of children
their love loud
it's almost deafening.

The mirror tells the truth
and behind his eyes can't lie.
Feeling love a gift has been robbed
Loveless he starts to cry.

What did your pocket money buy you?
I know how I spent mine.
25 pence was a fortune rising to 50 over time.

Anticipating payment on a Friday night Sweaty palms held out coins grasped tight.
Some swedgers munched in front of the telly
Crunchie and Revels as the Persuaders played.
And if we didn't scoff them all we'd chew on a refresher during Don't Watch Alone unafraid.

Come Saturday morning it was a walk to Billy's to buy my comic of choice No Beano or Dandy or Whizzer and Chips only Marvels Spiderman for this boy.

If you were to look for me in the afternoon Camerons toyshop is where I would be Checking out the latest Airfix model and wishing I had more than 50p.

As treat we'd take a trip to the toon on the top deck of a 45 bus.
In the front row of The Regent on seats of red with popcorn is where you'd find us. And when all your money went down the drain.
You waited for Friday night to come round again.

Isis my darling daughter
is the apple of my eye.

Without the love
and naughtiness of my boy Isaac
how would I get by?

Noah my baby
a surprise gift from God
bestowed on his Mum and me.

Unconditional love has a number
and that number is three.

Searching

I'm searching
for the child I once was
living life without a worldly care
free to roam
the Linicro hills having fun
getting up to mischief everywhere.

No bills to pay
and no responsibility too
from Totescore to Uig I would go
singing chart songs
in the Skye rain
with my pals
hunting high and low.

That child has grown
and lives in a far flung place
with children of his own
this doesn't stop
his misty eye memories
about the island
he once called home.

Jas saved me
and loved me
a love I couldn't return
on Upper Street we walked
on City Road we talked
nights spent in
black and white.

After work we sweated
London air
and long nights
kisses in a
Moorfields elevator
Sunday roasts
and Guiness pints.

In a heart locker
I know you know
words I couldn't return
Upper Street walks
and City Road talks
not forgetting nights
spent in black and white

Walking passed
the College of Art
an old song played
stereo and clear.

Feeling as grey
as the clouds above
Lauriston Place
can be lonely.

Meatloaf and his boys
serenaded me
and the song
almost brought
with it tears.

Work beckoned
the Royal waits for
no heartbroken man
fake smiles
for patients and staff.

And though
these words
didn't fall from your mouth
the song spoke of
you and me.

I want you
I need you
but there ain't no way
I'm ever gonna love you
now don't be sad
cause two out of three ain't bad.

From a distance
I watched you
in school corridors
spending an inordinate
amount of time
thinking about
your face.

On the hockey pitch
short skirt
and strong legs
my eyes glued
to your every move
wishing for
your embrace.

And will never forget
the Friday night dance
when we held on
to each other
so tight
our lips and tongues
and hands
my love began
that night.

Years apart
didn't diminish
my thoughts
or feelings
my love stayed
strong and true
and one afternoon
in Portree we met
and that night
I spent with you.

From the dance
to the pier
to your room
we didn't let
each other go
words spoken
with eyes and limbs
bathing in your
love glow.

Places I've been
and faces I've seen
many young and old
the stories they told
the love they shared
in wards where we cared
their words we heard
we gave them comfort
through the night
telling them it would be alright
but sometimes it wasn't
and when their
last moment came
we would whisper their name
as they breathed their last
we held their hands till they passed
because nobody deserves to be alone
and we would walk home
go to sleep the sorrows we would keep
and wake up to do it all again
all the women and men
from Seafield to Crewe Road
at the Royal we showed
a smile and a tear
we fought battles against fear
some won many lost
ignoring the cost
in the war never-ending
for the faces I've seen
in the places I've been.

The one constant
in my life
you have been
with me
through thick and thin
always there
and under appreciated
you're like one
of the family
my friend
my kin.

You watch over
our city
day and night
a silent security guard
hard as nails
and
ready to fight.

Majestic in
the summer
stone cold sober
when winter comes
high and mighty
you sit
firing your
one o'clock gun.

No matter
how far or near
your comforting
presence is there
north to south
east and west
we all know
that you care.

So come
rain
hail
wind and snow
the Castle remains
resolute and true
a friend in need
a friend indeed
a friend
to me and you.

Are we together
in an alternate
dimension
I like to think
that we are.

In love
and in lust
never separated
living our life
under the light
of the stars.

Even now
I can't deny
a connection
through time
and space
love and regret.

I'm content
to live here without you
your caress
my heart
will never forget.

And who knows
when we come
around again.

We may find
each other
and could end up
as lovers or friends.

It's important
to me
that you know
the depth of
my feelings
no matter
how far or
how near.

You are always
with me
in my heart
and soul
our connection
can never disappear.

Outside the
Nurses home door
crystalline snow
greeted me
Crewe Road
had succumbed
to the whiteout.

No traffic flowed
on the river
of powder white
the air around me
fridge frozen
and zesty.

On Orchard Brae
it's particularly parky
I slip and slide
snow dancing
the thought of
Bennett's beer
a powerful motivator.

Crossing
the Dean Bridge
I believe I can fly
beneath
the black Waters of Leith
flows forward
part ice
part water
all frigorific.

Fraser's clock
wears a cool
calculating
cartoon grin
it laughs
I'm late
loudly.

Lothian Roads light
my guide
lampost walking sticks
sodium halo
fog infused and
rainbow refracts
Fifty words for snow.

Tollcross tells me
I'm nearly there
drawn by candent
and coloured glass
heat embraces me
Bennett's saves
and my reward a pint
of seventy.