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About Me...

No Man Ever Steps in the Same River Twice, for it’s Not The Same River and He’s Not The Same Man...

For Me Life Has Been a Long and Arduous Battle with Finding Myself and My Life’s Purpose... From an early age, at school I wasn’t academic, yet I wasn’t stupid either, I was practical and in the right learning environment I was a quick learner...

On leaving school at 15 I became an apprentice chef and found an outlet for my creative streak and passion for food. At 17 I was placed 4th (out of 40+) and awarded a ‘Certificate of Merit’ at the 1987 Hotelympia Salon Culinaire, a Prestigious International Culinary Exhibition in London. My career plans were cut short before reaching my 20th birthday by the resentment for the long hours and lack of a social life in return for my commitment to my trade.

At 20 I completely changed direction and joined The Royal Marine Commandos, who’s basic training is one of the longest and most arduous programmes in the world. It’s safe to say it was a challenge, but I rose to the occasion completing the 30 week training without injury and my original troop. Upon completion I was drafted to 40 Cdo to begin my new career only to find the Unit had already deployed and I would be part of the rear party guarding the camp for 3 months.

And so began the battle with boredom.
Don’t get me wrong, there were plenty of great moments, tours of the Caribbean, Norway and Northern Ireland, but for me the downtime was soul destroying and I struggled. In 1995 after 4.5 years I quit and so began what was to be a long and winding road, with many pitfalls trying to find myself.

On leaving I moved to Sweden, got married and started a family. We returned to the Uk in the summer of 2000. To cut a long story short there were good times and bad but the relationship was stormy and doomed to say the least. I walked away in late 2014 trying to save myself and was homeless.

Almost two years later I got out of my van I was living in and got a beautiful home with my new partner. But still in the relative comfort of my new surroundings my struggles were deepening and my mental health diminishing, Charlotte my Rock stood by me, she saw the value in me and my good heart (her words, not mine)

Over the last 5 years I’ve had help from numerous therapists and organisations, some have brief respite, some made matters worse, some denied there was even anything wrong with me even after being hospitalised on several occasions. Some Friends and Family couldn’t get their heads around what was wrong with me and thought I should just man up and snap out of it, after all I was a Royal Marine, I’d cycled Lands End to John O’Groats in 12 days, Ran a 100km Ultramarathon and Regularly Skydived.

In September 2019 I hit Rock Bottom and Veterans Charity Rock2Recovery stepped in and virtually saved my life. I underwent a brief, intensive course of therapy and was able not only to come to terms with my past, but to enjoy the present moment (the only thing that truly exists) and embrace the future.. there’s more about that if you swipe left....