Neighborly Misunderstanding

Steps to resolving any situation takes properly identifying the root cause or core issue to find the best solution. Take an issue between neighbors. On a chilly Monday morning Neighbor Blue is pulling out of their driveway and headed to work and sees Neighbor Yellow making gestures towards him. Neighbor Blue nods their head and proceeds to travel down the road. Tuesday comes and Neighbor Blue is running a bit late for work and sees Neighbor Yellow making gestures again. He gives the nod and starts to reflect on the situation. He attributes Neighbor Yellow gestures to his leaving the garbage and recycling cans on the curb as he came in late the night prior and in a hurry today. Wednesday morning comes around with rain pouring down. Neighbor Blue wastes no time in rushing from the front door to the car and adjusts his rear view mirror as he bumped it getting in. As he starts to back out of the drive he sees out the corner of his eye Neighbor Yellow making motions again. With a glance he realizes he left his cans still sitting where they were the two days prior and looks back at Neighbor Yellow and shrugs his shoulders and mouthed the sorry and sped off towards work. Thursday came and as Neighbor Blue was getting ready for work he thinks to himself I won't see my Neighbor Yellow today I'm sure as I remembered to remove my cans from the crib the night prior but alas this would not be the case. Standing in the doorway as Neighbor Blue pulled out of his driveway Neighbor Yellow was standing there making gestures again. Neighbor Blue proceeds to give the trusty hand wave and smile this time and off to work he goes. Neighbor Yellow recedes back to her home with a somber look upon her face. On the way to work Neighbor Blue is wondering what he was missing that she was so persistent on. He made a plan tovisit her and introduce himself to her on the following Saturday as they had never formally met and he was new to the neighborhood within the past month. Friday came and went as most Fridays do except for the same as the days prior Neighbor Yellow was in the doorway again as he pulled out the driveway. A smile a wave and a nod was the response that Neighbor Blue gave. Neighbor Yellow yet again retreated back into her home and let out i deep sigh of frustration. Saturday came and after Neighbor Blues morning coffee he went to Neighbor Yellow house and knocked upon the door yet no answer came. He then noticed a neatly written note which read please press the ringer. With a long press of the door bell Neighbor Blue stood and waited for a response at the door. Mr Blue was determined to find resolution to the gestures from Neighbor Yellow. Neighbor Yellow looks out the peep hole to see Neighbor Blue standing there. Neighbor Yellow straightens her necklace and slowly opens the door and gives Neighbor Blue a welcoming smile. Neighbor Blue says, "Hello." Neighbor Yellow starts making a gesture and upon seeing this and Neighbor Yellow pulling out a writing pad and pencil Mr Blue turned Red in the face from embarrassment as he realized that Neighbor Yellow was hearing impaired. Neighbor Blue had clearly moisten the meaning of the gestures. In fact the gestures were sign language. Neighbor Yellow wrote promptly on the note pad "Hello Neighbor, I've been trying to ask you all week if you would like to join me for dinner this evening?".
In this instance the issue was not about moving a garbage can and recycling bin nor was it a emotional issue to which Neighbor Blue was ignoring Neighbor Yellow, yet Neighbor Blue took corrective steps to try and resolve an issue that he assumed was at the core of the situation. The core of the issue was two people that did not have a means of understanding what the other was trying to communicate and misunderstanding that was able to find resolve once the communication barrier was resolved.

How often are we taking situations and trying to find resolution to that is only addressing the symptoms rather than the root cause of the problem. In some instances treating the symptoms will eventually affect the core of the problem yet the best option is to address the issue at the core. In order to do so an approach of looking at all aspects of the cause and effect and decipher what is at the core and what is symptomatic. Taking this approach will in most cases give you a better understanding to the makers of the issue and foster better methodology that is more effective to find resolution to the issue at hand.
Written by: David Scholtens

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