merry christmas!
luke 2:11
merry christmas!
welcome back to my blog! i know i have been mia for a while, but i'm back for the new year.
these past few months have been pretty busy. i feel like october-december is always a hectic (but the best) time of year. i've been trying to focus on my typical seasonal holiday activities even though they are very different in hawaii.
stockton dressed up as jack jack for halloween, and austin and i carved pumpkins after going to a pumpkin patch. we had a great thanksgiving with some friends, and i made my first homemade pumpkin pie! then i did my christmas decorating, shopping and wrapping.
this year feels like my first year of holidays with MY family. austin and i have had many holidays together, but with stockton joining us and spending the holidays in our own home/hosting, it feels so special!
the christmas season is my favorite time of year, so not experiencing the cold climate is definitely hard, but last year, we had zero decorations and didn't do gifts since we were waiting on our home shipment. luckily, this year, the house is decked out. we bought our first christmas tree together, got family stockings, and even picked out special wrapping paper for each of us!
it's so neat to look back on our past holidays and see how far we have come already with our finances, decorations, and household goods. we have a tree full of gifts underneath that i'm so thankful we are able to gift one another with this year as well as provide goodies for our firstborn son! when you hear people say "track your prayers," you really should because i still complain about the house and money sometimes without even realizing that many of my prayers on those topics have already been answered and its a great reminder of how good god is.
i was originally planning on making this blog post about the things hawaii is taking away from my typical christmas but the more i'm writing, the more i'm focusing on the good which is what i plan to do with my 2023 as well.
in 2023 i plan to strengthen my relationship with the lord not only on my own but also with my husband, take pictures of the little details and reminders of happiness throughout my days, watch my son grow and grow, welcome our new son, and remember that where we are is only temporary. missouri will always be our home and even though i am thousands of miles away, i get to be with the two people that mean the most in the world to me, and that is austin and stockton.
if you are someone who is far from family and struggling with that, just know you are not alone. i know many college students go through this, but i'm a married mom who struggles with it as well. try to focus on the little things. some of mine right now are the christmas tree lights being on at night, making matcha lattes at home, discovering my new favorite chai tea, when the leaves of a tree matched the color of my dress perfectly, stockton's new nose scrunch when he smiles and so much more.
so, cheers to entering 2023 with a positive attitude. i hope you all enjoy your christmas and remember the true importance of it as well as your existence in this world. you wouldn't be where you are today if it wasn't in god's plan for you, and god's plan is the greatest plan.
12.21.2022
july 8th 2021
yours: a thing belonging to truly: to the fullest degree i am yours truly
in honor of my 1st wedding anniversary being this month i decided to share the behind the scenes of our wedding. i have a major passion for the wedding industry and plan to own a wedding venue someday so i love to discuss the steps it takes to plan a wedding!
here is a little back story... we were originally supposed to get married in november of 2021 but austin found out he was getting to come home in july as well so we moved the wedding up. yes, we moved up the wedding by 4 months in about 4 weeks. it was wild. but i was determined to make it happen, and i in fact did, with the help of family and friends!
before austin left for bootcamp we picked out our wedding venue which had a very modern rustic theme to it, then our bridal party, and discussed a budget. we had 3 groomsmen, 3 bridesmaids, 2 flower girls, and 4 ring bearers. my maid of honor was my cousin and austin's best man was his brother. we were blessed to have help with our budget from family as well as the bridal party!
those selections were our main priorities and then austin left the rest up to me! at the time, i worked at davids bridal so i was thinking about dresses and color schemes on a daily basis. i got my wedding dress first from mk bridal, then chose olive green, gold, and navy as our color scheme to match austin's dress blues.
the girls got their dresses and the boys got their attire which was a button up, dress pants, belt, socks, and shoes. we provided suspenders, bow ties, and boutonnieres. next step was flowers. i knew i wanted our flowers to be preserved but real flowers were so expensive so my mom, a bridesmaid, and I made the floral arrangements with artificial flowers from hobby lobby.
in between these events, i received our cake topper, invitations, and mr. & mrs. table header in the mail, as well as got our wedding bands, my veil, lots of sample cupcakes, and put together the playlists.
i emailed a lot of companies regarding catering, our cakes, and decorations. we found a local catering business in stockton mo, we used a baker for our cakes that my stepmother knew, and then got a discount on our decor pieces since i worked in the wedding industry!
as sporadic as the whole planning process sounds, it all came together perfectly the day of. everything was delivered and we all enjoyed setting up together and had lunch. once noon came around the boys and girls split ways to go get ready. i gave out hand written notes to our bridal party and groom for a special parting.
then all of a sudden it was time to walk down the aisle. it was a magical moment and the rest of the evening was so much fun celebrating our commitment to each other with our closest loved ones.
now 1 year has gone by and we are living in hawaii and have the sweetest baby boy. i could talk about all these details in so much more depth if you would like! i worked at davids bridal as well as a wedding venue so i have a lot of experience in the industry and talked to many vendors! weddings are such a beautiful celebration and they should be so special, for you only have 1!
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ways we saved money:
we were blessed to have family and friends help with our budget
● our venue was covered
● my dress and veil were covered
● catering and cakes were covered
● our chairs were free
● our bridal party purchased their attire
● we had a good friend as our dj and announcer
● we limited the time we had our photographer
● using artificial flowers instead of real
● having a smaller bridal party
**i may be forgetting something
what we paid for:
● my shoes and jewelry
● the table settings and centerpieces
● our wedding bands
● floral pieces
● bridesmaid boxes
● men's bow ties and suspenders
**i may be forgetting something
FROM ORIGINAL PLANNING DOCUMENT
music:
i had multiple different spotify playlists created to easily accommodate
● processional playlist: modern instrumentals
● family and groom down the aisle: never stop wedding edition by safety suit
● bridal party and bride down the aisle: hunger by ross copperman
● recessional song: accidentally in love by counting crows
● dinner playlist: frank sinatra, jazz
● enter the reception: this will be by natalie cole
● first dance: speechless by dan and shay
● cutting the cake: how sweet it is to be loved by you by michael buble
● daddy daughter dance: my little girl by tim mcgraw
● mother and son dance: my wish by rascal flatts
● private last dance: so close by jon mclaughlin
● leaving reception: ever ever after by jordan pruitt
bridal party:
bridesmaids: lexi, rachel, grace
groomsmen: jacob, rickie, austin
officiant: travis brace
flower girls: kinsley, coralee
ring bearers: kooper, kale, creed, kasen
order of ceremony:
never stop - travis, papa and beverly, lesley and austin, alex and kenny, matt and sheila, jewel, meagan and kaylee
hunger - lexi and jacob, rachel and austin, grace and rickie, ring bearers, flower girls, sophie with mom and dad
order of events:
9 am - get key to venue
10 am - set up decorations, tables, and chairs
11 am - rehearsal
11:30 am - rehearsal with music
12 pm - lunch
1 pm - makeup
2:30 pm - hair
3:30 pm - get dressed
4 pm - photographer arrives
4:15 pm begin PRECESSIONAL playlist
4-4:20 pm - groom and groomsmen photos
4:20-4:40 pm - bride and bridesmaids photos
4:45 pm - bridal party move to places
4:45 pm announce ceremony will begin soon
5-5:20 pm - ceremony
CEREMONY/EXIT playlist - play never stop for grandparents, parents, siblings, officiant, and groom walking down the aisle
CEREMONY/EXIT playlist - play hunger for bridal party and bride walking down the aisle
CEREMONY/EXIT playlist - play accidentally in love for bridal party exit
once the bridal party has exited, announce for everyone to enjoy fellowship while the room gets flipped and then find a seat
begin playing DINNER playlist
5:20-5:40 pm - full bridal party photos
5:40-6 pm - bride and groom photos
6 pm - enter reception
6 pm announce bridal party entrances
CEREMONY/EXIT playlist - play this will be for bridal party entrance
once all is seated, announce that jacob will bless the food and then dismiss the bridal party to get plates then everyone else can follow
6-6:45 pm - dinner and speeches
continue playing DINNER playlist
6:30 announce maid of honor speech followed by best man
6:45 announce the bride and grooms first dance CEREMONY/EXIT playlist - play speechless
invite father of the bride to the floor for the daddy daughter dance CEREMONY/EXIT playlist - play my little girl
invite aunt suzy to dance with austin and then halfway through invite sheila to the floor and play my wish from CEREMONY/EXIT playlist
6:45-7 pm - first dances and cutting the cake
After sheila's dance announce cake cutting CEREMONY/EXIT playlist - play how sweet it is
7 pm - photographer departs
7-9:15 pm - dance party
7 pm play RECEPTION playlist
when crazy in love comes on announce all single ladies to the floor for bouquet toss followed by single men for garter toss
9:20 pm - last dance
9:20 pm announce for everyone to make their way outside for the send off
once venue is mostly empty in CEREMONY/EXIT playlist - play so close
9:30 pm - send off
CEREMONY/EXIT playlist - play ever ever after for send off
9:30-10 pm - clean up
after send off announce end of reception and thank everyone for coming
bridesmaid boxes:
● satin pajamas
● custom cookies
● color swatch
● venue detail card
07.01.2022
postpartum
1 samuel 1:27-28 i prayed for this boy, and since the lord gave me what i asked him for, i now give the boy to the lord.
hello all! thank you again for taking a look at my blog! today, i am going to be sharing my postpartum experience. a couple of weeks ago, i shared stockton's birth story, so i wanted to follow up with the aftermath.
i want to preface this post by saying i am not trying to scare any soon to be mama's out there. everyone's experience is completely different, and mine just so happened to be on the rougher side. when i was pregnant, i wanted to hear the birth and postpartum stories from as many mama's as i could to be prepared (all scary details included). so that being said, i want to be completely raw and authentic myself.
honestly, after having stockton, i was absolutely exhausted, so my hospital stay was a bit of a blur. we had him on a tuesday night and left that thursday afternoon. once my epidural had worn off, my nurses wanted me to try to walk to the bathroom (and mind you, it was about 10 steps from my bed). i could barely walk. i was extremely hunched over and had to rely heavily on my nurses or austin to hold most of my weight as i would take a single step. i had to have help shifting in bed, changing my clothes, taking a shower, walking, and picking up the baby out of the bassinet. these are all things i never would have guessed i would struggle with postpartum. i've seen videos of girls up and dancing with their babies 2 hours postpartum and personally knew mama's doing the same as well so it was very upsetting.
as i started to gain more strength holding up my weight, i would push myself to the limit because i wanted so badly to do these things by myself. so because i pushed myself too hard, i was laid up even longer. i would say not having the strength to walk or lift to the best of my ability lasted about 2 weeks.
during that time at home that i was pretty laid up, i slept a lot, didn't eat or drink much, changed my OWN diaper (lol), and nursed. now let's talk about nursing...
i had read all about mom's loving nursing and how meaningful it was to them, and i didn't expect to have that type of connection, but i most definitely did. i absolutely adored the fact that i was the only one who could feed him at the time. i know that is very selfish of me, but every time he got hungry, i got that intimate quality time with him. as much as i loved nursing, it was also very challenging at times. it can get painful and very exhausting. when my catheter, from my epidural, was removed, i got a bladder infection, which was absolutely miserable, and made it burn SO bad when i would go to the bathroom. i was put on antibiotics, but then the infection transferred to my kidneys. austin took me to the ER due to having a high 104 fever, so during that time, we had no choice but to introduce a bottle because my mom kept stockton while we went to the hospital. luckily, when i nursed, i would wear my haakaa collector on the other side (highly recommend mamas) to collect my letdown. just from my haakaa, i had over 72 ounces frozen. i still nursed him as much as i could, but it was also nice to let myself heal a bit as well. i eventually switched to exclusively pumping, which made my supply drop quite a bit. unfortunately, about 2 or 3 weeks ago, my milk supply dried up for the most part. stockton is now a formula fed baby, but a healthy baby is a happy baby, and that is what matters!
my other main postpartum symptom was my swelling. i got pretty swollen while i was pregnant, but even more so after. my whole body blew up like a balloon to where i could barely even fit into my cloud slides (thank you, rachel, for my favorite shoes ever). it took about 3 weeks for my swelling to completely go away, and i was SO thankful to be able to wear my wedding ring again and fit back into some clothing!
i had other things i experienced as well such as the bleeding and adult diapers, blood clots, bowel movements, weight, my postpartum belly, stretch marks, and my emotional state, but the nursing, infections, weakness, and swelling were the ones that affected me the most.
if any of you pregnant mama's out there are curious to know more about the other symptoms i just listed that i didn't go as in depth on, feel free to send me a message and i would love to be open and chat with you about any of them!
i am now almost 3 months postpartum and feel 100% better again. i try to work out and eat healthy to continue losing some baby weight, but i don't harp on myself too much about it because i have a little man to take care of now. i remind myself daily that the stretch marks and belly pooch are reminders of the biggest blessing i could've asked for.
_________________________________________________________________
my postpartum essentials:
● frida mom upside down peri bottle (i kept this one upstairs and then the one i was given from the hospital downstairs)
● frida mom perineal cooling pad liners
● frida mom perineal healing foam
● instant ice maxi pads (helps with the swelling)
● witch hazel pads
● dermoplast spray
● maxi pads
● munchkin milkmakers all natural nipple balm (comes on a stick so you don't have to get it all over your fingers)
process:
1. wash with peri bottle
2. place pad
3. place cooling liner or witch hazel on pad
4. spray the healing foam on your pad
5. spray yourself with dermoplast
6. ice maxi pads before bed in diaper by themselves
06.17.2022
march 29th, 2022
when a woman is in labor, she has pain because her time has come. but when she has given birth to a child, she no longer remembers the suffering because of the joy that a person has been born into the world.
the evening of tuesday march 29th, 2022 at 9:43 pm, was when my life changed forever.
let's rewind first...
i found out i was pregnant on july 20th, 2021 which was 4 days after my husband had left for MOS school in virginia (i was in missouri). we were absolutely ecstatic, as was all of our loved ones.
My first 13 weeks were a bit rough, although some pregnant women have had it rougher. i was constantly nauseous, extremely exhausted and weak. i could only stomach saltine crackers, ramen noodles, and vernors ginger ale for quite a few weeks. i heavily relied on my bible and the lord, knowing this is what my body was created to do.
on the morning of november 4th, 2021, when I was 18 weeks pregnant, i had my anatomy scan. i found out that our little bean, at the time, had 2 choroid cysts on the brain. i was assured not to worry but was given the possible outcomes. leaving that appointment, i held the gender of our baby in a sealed envelope to pass off to my cousin/maid of honor, praying that god would remove those cysts from his brain. my husband came home later that day to have some family time before our move to hawaii so we planned to do a gender reveal!
on the 7th we found out we were having a baby boy! i was almost 100% sure we would be having a girl so i had no idea what to expect being a boy mom. when that color cannon popped, my face said it all - i have many witnesses lol! regardless, i was so excited to meet our baby boy.
my husband left for hawaii on the 25th and i followed on december 9th. we started to live island life until my swollen ankles took over me. i was pretty much homebound once i hit 36 weeks. i packed our hospital bag, cleaned as much as my fat ankles would allow me, barely slept, got food poisoning (not fun especially while pregnant), had restless legs, hot flashes, finished the nursery, drank lots of raspberry leaf tea, constantly bounced on my birthing ball and found out that the cysts on his brain were GONE! thats right... at 30 weeks we had another anatomy scan and they were completely gone. i thanked jesus so hard and could feel all the prayer warriors around us and by golly those prayers were answered!
every single day felt like a waiting game on when i would go into labor until my OB reccomended i get induced. it was extremely exciting to know in 3 days time i would get to meet my baby face to face.
so those next few days we played games, went to the beach, and enjoyed our time together just the 2 of us until the morning of march 28th.
i got absolutely zero sleep the night before because i was so excited and nerves started kicking in about my induction. we went in at 8:00 am, got a room, changed into a gown, got my IV put in, and vitals checked, then we waited.
we waited, and waited, and waited.
we watched the office, ate some food, watched friends, took some naps, and tried many positions to get my little man from sunny side up to rear facing. all until 6:00 am the morning of the 29th when my water broke (i was dilated to a 7-8). let me tell you... it's NOT like the movies. it's gallons of liquid NON STOP. gross right? i woke up austin and told him my water broke and that it was about to get real. and it sure did.
my goal was to have an unmedicated delivery and up until this point my contractions had felt like mild period cramps but drastically intensified about 30 minutes after my water broke. for the next 2-3 hours i was focusing on breathing through each contraction, my husband holding my hand, and midwife pressing on my lower back as it started to go downhill.
when my water broke, my cervix closed back up to a 4 so i got very discouraged and the pain was taking a toll on my mindset and making me extremely foggy. i told austin i wanted the epidural so he talked with my midwife and nurses and they got the ball rolling asap. that process took about 30 minutes to an hour and in that time i was more focused on getting that pain relief than breathing through my contractions so i started to panic with each one. i got to a point where i threw my hands in the air and starting calling on jesus. i was praying out loud that my delivery would go smooth, that my baby would be healthy, and that i would have faith in him. i knew that i was in his hands and then the anesthesiologist came in.
i got onto my bed so she could perform my epidural (which i didn't feel at all) and right when she got done, a contraction began and i passed out.
i remember seeing many nurses in my room, my husband holding my hand next to me, an oxygen mask over my face and waking up 5 times with my nurse pounding on my chest until i slowly started to feel the pain subside. with each contraction the pain faded more and more until i was content enough to close my eyes and take a nap.
i woke up around 6:00 pm to find out i was dilated to a 9 and it was time to practice pushing. woah. drastic change right? my husband turned on my worship playlist and we got started. TMI: i was told to push like i was pooping but luckily i didn't actually poop lol! so i pushed and pushed, tried different tactics and then my OB came in.
after a few contractions i noticed my nurses slowly setting up for delivery. then all of a sudden my OB said that on my next contraction i would have a baby. this news was insanely relieving after pushing for about 3 and a half hours but also crazy that i was about to meet my son.
on that next contraction, i pushed as hard as i could and next thing i knew my 9 pound 7 ounce baby was lying on my chest ready to see the world (and then he peed on me).
i'm not sharing this to scare any first time, pregnant mama's out there. i'm sharing to enlighten you that everyone's experiences are completely different. i was worried at times, nervous, scared, exhausted. but now looking back, it is such a beautiful story that i get to tell and i'm extremely proud of myself. even though i didn't go unmedicated, my body was still able to create and nurture a human being. your delivery most likely won't go exactly as you have planned and that is perfectly okay! have faith in the lord, pray, do your research, and know that the outcome is worth it ALL.
john 16:21
if anyone has any questions regarding my son's birth story, my experience, or pregnancy, don't hesitate to DM me on instagram or shoot me an email!
06.03.2022
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