Things No One Tells You About Raising Teenage Boys
Raising my 3 children including my teenage son is the biggest joy of my life.
There are 12 years difference between my boys so by the time he reaches teenage hood I hope I remember what to do 😂
While I absolutely love being a BOY MUM (I literally never gave having a girl a thought) it's opened my eyes to so many things and they have both pushed me way beyond my comfort zone sooooo many times. For that I'm so grateful. It's a whole blog post in itself.
As a former teacher, and mum I can tell u the teenage years are rewarding and scary all at the same time. It's been rewarding to see Bailey navigate his way through high school so well and it's been scary guiding him on the emotional journey.
It's those years between being a boy and a man that are so freaking important. I believe they are the years that make the difference. As a mum we are the ones setting up role models of how to treat women and respect women in particular. How they treat us is most probably how they will treat their wife! Do u think?
It's those times when they act like they need u less and less but actually they need u more. They just don't know it till they come to a cross road or a barracade. They are navigating way more complicated relationships, friendships, and starting to find their place. Research tells us we need to spend more time with them in their teenage years than ever.
3 years ago when Bailey was 15 he decided he wanted to move in with his dad. Bloody broke my heart. I fought and fought him but in the end I felt I had no choice but to put my hands up and surrender.bit came as a total shock so as a mum I immediately looked at myself and my situation and thought it must be me! I knew back then he needed me more now than he did when he was a little boy but I still needed to let him go. After all it wasn't me.
He had an awesome dad, a fabulous step mum so I had to let him go and trust the universe had our backs. It did. The journey has been hard and awesome all at the same time. I think he really needed his dad as the role model.
Our relationship changed and I embraced it although it wasn't what I expected or necessarily wanted.
We now spent most weekends together enjoying our time, laughing and hanging out because there is no "put the bins out, do your homework blah blah blah..."
I now just try and create that safe restful place he can come and feel safe in. I still feel like that when I go to my mum's.
One skill I guess you could call it and Bailey and I still laugh about it today is finding something that your son is interested in.
Play that video game shoot hoops or ride a bike with watch telly with them whatever it is they like to do and talk to them about whatever it is that they're interested in. Most of the things that Bailey was interested in was car's motorbikes trucks everything that I didn't know anything about. It didn't matter. I listened I acted like I was really interested. And I actually shared with him what I was doing. We still laugh about it today when he comes home and tells me different things about his car and different things that he is putting in it and I have no idea what he's talking about. I say to him "hey babe is this one of those moments?" We laugh before he says "Yeh mum it's one of those moments. And I love it.
We may not be the person they want to always hang out with that's why I thoroughly try to even enjoy even the bad days with my other Keahi my 6 year old and Holly my 1 year old.
But the time we do spend with them makes a huge difference in their teenage years. I guess we show them how we act in behave "in real life" . Lol!
Even in our not so good parenting moments which believe me I have a million of these moments - we just need to be vulnerable with them and tell them what went down, why and sorry.
Really connection with our teenage boys comes from being present even when it's not a Convo that you would usually be into. Connect by just listening. Ask questions and just "be" with them.
Elle x
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