So hi, I'm Silvia and I'm from Serbia.
In Serbia no one talks about body positivity or mental health. It's like a taboo for some reason.
I'm here to change that, I started to improve my IG and now here I am writing a description for my blog. Hell yea!

If you don't know too much about this mental disorder, here I am. I'll explain it to you as much as I can.
Living with bpd is very hard and intense.
I feel very intense emotional pain, emptiness, hoplessness, almost nonstop desperation, I have anger control issues, I fear of being abandoned.
So this disorder literally affects my whole life. My work, my relationships, my physical health too.
Not just for me is hard to deal with it but for my husband too,because he have to deal with me and all my sh*t load of crisises.
-work : when you're down, you literally can't get out of bed, you feel horrible pain in your soul, you feel useless and unnecessary.
-relationships : fear of abandoned as I have said previous. It's hard to control your emotions, your anger, your pain, everything. I think you'll never feel safe even if you're married. You'll always think that you're a useless person and no one wants to be with you.
-physical health : I've heard so much people who have bpd that are addicted to alcohol or drugs (which is not a solution)
I smoke cigarettes, that's an addiction too you know,but I had eating disorder too, so this sh*it is just pulls you off physically too.

When I was firstly semi-diagnosed with depression and started taking medication, I started to gain weight, because of the antidepressants. I was not okay with it. Not just because of the weight gain, but the medications too. I didn't want to feel like I'm an ill person who needs to take antidepressants.
I never really loved myself or felt pretty and after that medication "journey" it just got worse. More and more worse.
The years just kept going and I felt worse every day.
Than one day I found out that there are other people suffering from the similar things. I felt better for a couple of days or more, that I'm not the only one who's this f*cked up. Then the days kept going and nothing changed. I never really talked about my personal issues to somebody, anybody. This is a taboo theme in our family and in my country too. I want to change that. I want to end the stigma, I want to speak up. I want to be the change. I want to help people who feel the same way as me. Let us be heard. Let us be free. Let us embrace ourselves for who we really are. With the lows and the ups too. If we are not fitting the "beauty standards" we shouldn't be ashamed. We should be proud for who we are. We should love our body, our soul, our mind the way they are. We are normal, we are worthy for it all.