HALO DUNIA TIPU TIPU! HALO KAMU YANG BERKUNJUNG!

poems ? monologue ? lyrics ? pictures ?

ini apa? berantakan, pikiran, kegabutan, iseng iseng, semuanya ditulis campur aduk kaya gado gado! honestly thats it.

Tiada New York Hari Ini —

from the movie AADC

Semua perihal diciptakan sebagai batas.
Membelah sesuatu dari sesuatu yang lain.
Hari ini membatasi besok dan kemarin.
Besok batas hari ini dan lusa.

Jalan-jalan memisahkan deretan toko dan perpustakaan kota, bilik penjara dan kantor walikota, juga rumahmu dan seluruh tempat di mana pernah ada kita.

Bandara dan udara memisahkan New York dan Jakarta.
Resah di dadamu dan rahasia yang menanti di jantung puisi ini dipisah kata-kata.
Begitu pula rindu, hamparan laut dalam antara pulang dan seorang petualang yang hilang.
Seperti penjahat dan kebaikan dihalang uang dan undang-undang.

Seorang ayah membelah anak dari ibunya — dan sebaliknya. Atau senyummu, dinding di antara aku dan ketidakwarasan.
Persis segelas kopi tanpa gula menjauhkan mimpi dari tidur.

Apa kabar hari ini? Lihat, tanda tanya itu, jurang antara kebodohan dan keinginanku memilikimu sekali lagi.

gema —

26/05/2020

Apakah semua yang sempurna itu fana?
Haruskah yang benar terpaku pada kerusakan?
Bukankah kerut dahi, kepalan tangan keras bentuk kasih?
Bukankah sunyi senyap selalu bergema canda tawa?

Sapuan jarimu pernah bilang kalau garis tanganku serupa dengan lintasan meteor.
Abstrak dan berbelit layak perasaan
Bungkamkan semua, muntahkan semua!
Yang mana harus ku pilih agar kau tidak semakin jauh?

anthea

aku hanya suka mendung dan gemuruh hujan saat kau dekat selainnya lebih baik tidak.

eternal  —

08/02/2018

kau adalah buih buih berbekas terpahat membentuk entah ilusi indah yang menghantui secara kekal.
romansa konseptual terstruktur yang selalu bergeming tanpa izin.
kau senantiasa tercuat dari memori menelisik setiap lekuk tubuh, garit tulang, denyut hati.
kau yang tertawa saat petir mencium ranting genting dan bersedih saat bunga bermekaran.
rembulanku di pagi sepi.

semut dan paus —

(lupa tanggal)

kau belum jauh, belum tentu akan jauh
tapi jauh itu relatif
letak gelas dan piring akan selalu jauh
untuk semut
australia dan afrika mungkin dekat untuk paus
dan kau mungkin akan dekat untuknya namun jauh untukku.

"nongkrong begadang tiap hari, ga takut sakit?" —

"tenang, bunda sedia balsem kok!"

terlahir —

dari kumpulan beberapa bintang lahirlah dia
sang sagitarius
berbeda berteriak
“lihatlah aku!”
menjulang terbentang terpetak luas; sombong dan angkuh.

“Aku sagitarius. Siapa kamu?”
pembawa panah asmara
meliuk nikmat di angkasa
begitu istimewa
begitu rapuh

awal —

28/05/2018

i will miss you this summer.
certainly those time you got me wishing for
bone tickling champagne kisses, late night movie marathon, and the whole universe in a tea spoon.

i will miss
how you shout, sweat glistening on basketball dribbling or
how your eyes looks like almond circled by ring of golden flecks under the sun.
the way your shirt hangs from your collarbone hiding bruises from last night kisses.

i mean i couldn’t ask for more;
wouldn’t beg nor compare.
Oh, how i enjoy the feeling of crimson red cheeks, heart beaten black and blue in such a frenzy uncontrollable pace.

Everything started to look like you.
they all have your eyes, so much alike that i can no longer recognize warm blankets during October or sea breeze during June because now i am struggling to remember when those things have distinct identity.

See, I like it when there was a significant difference between

your well mixed perfume and body scent after smoking and the smell of rain or,

your smile when you made me laugh and the sun on early July or,

your whisper during lessons when the teacher’s not looking and the swift of calming air on February.

but i ponder this
those nights i spend carving your feature of the grains of my dark ceiling in my bedroom and synchronizing my breath during quiet night to the clock tick down the living room because im remembering the trails of neck kisses from last Friday.

I seldom thought it’d be easier to talk through you every morning or stare silently enjoying our sweet sweat, morning breath in such calming atmosphere.
Addictive, I would say.

But, cross that out, crumble it, toss it away.
I just want to say that I will miss you this summer.

these are the list things that reminds me of you: —

-baby powder
-cloves
-burgundy
-hot peppermint tea
-mangoes
-freshly cut grass
-the smell of a new book
-adidas men shower gel
-cats
-cigarettes
-the color gray
-black lingerie
-cotton candy
-salty popcorn
-warm cheeks
-trees
-night breeze
-the sound that crickets makes
-purple skies
-hiding stars and moon
-chestnut and almond
-the sun when its 4 in the afternoon
-blue butterflies
-slippery soap and bubbly bathtub
-cold pillow
-patterned socks
-ikea shower curtains

akhir —

25/01/2020

His absence is louder than a firework.
I have misplaced all the silverware.
Tonight I ate an entire meat of cauliflower.
In lieu of doing the laundry,
I turned yesterday’s shirt inside out.
My windows don’t close properly so the wind comes in uninvited.
I guess you can say I miss him if missing him means that sometimes I forget to shower twice a day.

I wear scarves now. Not
because they’re in fashion, but
because it is cold in my room since
the windows don’t close.
I wear socks too.
I pee with the door open.
I’ve been searching for the words.
I keep the light on, just in case.

what are you made up from? —

15/09/2018

we question why do men lay no respect to their women, but we teach our boys when as they grow up
not to fight like a girl,
not to cry like a girl,
not to talk like a girl,
not to walk like a girl,
not to think like a girl,
and not to behave like a girl.
for one will never able to do something you never introduced them to.

they, then, make 'woman' an insult, as an unnecessary depiction of weakness and inabilities. as something to look down upon, as a name to call out things they lack of - yet seek nowhere else but between the legs of woman for pleasures compared to heaven.

the hypocrisy exist between saying women is a bliss and ditching them to an abyss, between praises to disses when they forget to do your dishes, between french kiss and bruises from of your fists.

nyasar dulu ya? aku sampai hampir lupa rasanya jatuh hati mengebu-ngebu.

mulai lagi —

hai kamu yang belum bertukar kata,
ketemu kamu saat hari kasih sayang itu luar biasa rasanya!

dari dipaksa hati untuk memilih bercakap ato bengong bego, sampai geli meroket pas kamu senyum dan pamit pulang
campur aduk sih, tapi seneng suka!

space spatiality and everything in between —

7 June 2021

hey
so you asked for space but
what exactly is space
space, the state that my brain enters at night
space, long hours of staring contest with my ceiling
space, silence, ambiguity
space

"what kind of space exactly? can you be more specific?"
well i assume space but not to much
space that i start to wonder when my brain
space out to the cannals out to the woods out to the ocean out to the
space and spatiality and the questions of existantialist thinking if they have a
space in the world
space

the distance between my city and yours,
a finger length of the empty room between the crumpled sheets,
wide enough for the devil to sneaks in and whisper about the different shades of red

darling what kind of space do you want?
"read between the sentence" you shouted
but what is to read when you have got nothing to say ?
when you have silence, ambiguity and space?
do i want space?

OH HEY, FOR BEST VIEWING, YOU'LL NEED TO TURN YOUR PHONE