The Beginning of a Journey

In May of 2021, my mom found a mysterious lump on her body. The day before she went to get her results, she told me about what was going on. She was scared and confused, but hopeful for the best. I was sure that the Lord had His hands on her shoulders — there was no way it would be deemed cancerous. I told her everything would be okay, it was just a random growth they’d remove. I was so sure of it, too.

On Monday, May 24th of 2021, my best friend, my mother, was diagnosed with breast cancer. Numbness and pure denial were the only two feelings that seemed real in the moment of hearing the news. How is this real life? Why does this happen to women? I would never wish this on any woman in the world, but why my mom? I was confused. Angry. Saddened. Distraught.

The emotions were endless.

My family had never experienced cancer in such a close way. I didn’t understand the word cancer, I never really had a reason to. Is it life-ending? Treatable? Will she lose her hair? The questions kept pouring through my mind and they wouldn’t stop. I was terrified to think of what her journey was going to consist of. I was nauseous, confused, and had no appetite — experiencing depression and anxiety in ways I never knew existed. I wanted more answers. The words “breast cancer” were simply not enough for me. Is it possible that it could be a wrong diagnosis?

On June 8th, we traveled to Duke Cancer Center in Durham, NC for another opinion. We met with whom would be her Medical Oncologist, Surgical Oncologist, and Radiation Oncologist. They informed us on the type of breast cancer she had and what that meant for her treatments. Overwhelmed and scared are simply underestimations of how my parents and I were feeling. I could see the pain written all over my dad’s face. I watched my mom cry while her doctor held her hands. I heard words and sentences I couldn’t seem to digest. But I could see it in my mom’s eyes that she had one goal — to fight it.

That’s where the journey begins.

#TeamMaria

The Rollercoaster Ride called Cancer

The craziest part about a cancer diagnosis? You assume that first set of biopsies give you all the right answers. You think that you have left the hospital knowing the next steps, knowing the extent of the cancer, and knowing what to expect in the coming weeks.

You don’t expect a phone call on the way home, asking for more biopsies and tests, because of suspicious areas they located in other parts of the body.

You don’t expect the ask of bone scans because your mom has been diagnosed with a type of breast cancer that rapidly spreads to other parts of the body.

You don’t expect the pain of seeing your mom blame herself for the cancer, because maybe she didn’t always get her mammograms “on time”.

The rollercoaster is unlike any you have ever seen, heard of, or emotionally felt.

My dad and I have always loved rollercoasters, we love the thrill and excitement of all things King’s Dominion or Bush Gardens. My mom has always loved watching us enjoy them so much. But this rollercoaster, we were ready for it to stop.

Next thing we knew, she had 5 more tests to go through and a port placement. Although the tests had potential of changing everything about her chemo treatments, we were hopeful and positive that nothing would change. I was hopeful even though I was wrong about the very first diagnosis. I decided it was time to pray harder.

We prayed this roller coaster was going to become a little bit easier to ride.

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