I think there comes a point in your life where you realise what is filling you up and what is draining you.
For me it was when I started getting tired and ill - mentally and physically - from being around the wrong people for too long. I had zero energy after our interactions, and I became ill in more ways than one. I became ill in a way that closed off my creativity, my interest in socialising and stunted my growth as a person. The more I listened to my mind + body, the more I retreated into my own space and energy, the more I recharged and became intentional about my time with people and our conversations.
It was like I’d hit refresh. I was setting boundaries and being selective with my interactions. It gave me insight into peoples behaviours and reflection on what I wanted (& didn’t want) to fill my life with.
This point will come at different times for everyone, some sooner than others. But once it arrives, you will see just how powerful your intentions can be.
I’m not talking about refraining from swearing in traffic, or the ‘positive vibes only’ BS.
I’m talking about honouring what fills you up and serves you and refusing access to all that can drain you.

Disclaimer: The waters still get muddy from time to time, and you will still be tested. Judgement can be clouded, and there are people out there that will always seek to drain your energy to fill theirs. These are distractions. Passing interruptions that can test your boundaries fence you will work so hard to erect.
Let them. Because each time you keep your peace and honour that fence you’re standing tall behind it and paving the way for an intentional, authentic life x

Today I read an incredibly thought provoking and raw piece written by the incredible Samantha Wills. Usually known for her entrepreneurial success, SW shared something very personal and told her audience about a persisting health issue that she finally gave the time it commanded after many years.

I have been an SW fangirl since discovering it in 2009. I followed her journey and collections eagerly, collecting any piece I could get my hands on to be a part of the creative cult she had crafted with her bare hands. SW was truly one of the first labels I could really express myself with, I found comfort in it’s unique boldness and it gave me freedom to express myself through the addictive art of accessorising.

I read her piece in it’s entirety, with heavy tears falling down my face. What struck me was not the severity of her illness, nor the fact that she put it aside for many years, but the fact that she addressed one very important issue facing women today - generational silence.

See, there’s a thing we do as women that we have learnt and somewhat inherited from generations of other women. It comes from societal changes, outdated prejudices and an acceptance of ‘what is always done’ - it comes in the form of being a ‘good girl’.
From an early age, girls are taught to keep quiet, ‘be seen not heard’, do what you can to attract the ‘right’ man etc, and as SW so eloquently puts it, it’s even enforced in religion, which plays a huge part in Australian culture and society.

Growing up in a small country town, I was subjected to those bloody painful Sundays where it was off to church early, make small talk with the other good god-fearing folk and then back to school for the week at a catholic primary school which, as you would guess, involved more catholicism and prepping for a good catholic life.
Thankfully for me by Year 6 I’d had enough of the bullshit they were serving and I refused to make my communion - much to the shock and absolute horror of the school and many concerned parents. I swear the Mrs Lovejoy’s of the town laid an egg.
Also Spoiler alert: I did not combust into flames.

SO, getting back on track, you can see why I have refused the patriarchy and it’s ‘plan’ for women from an early age. As I got older I noticed it more. The expectations, the judgement, the prompting.. the fact that I am 30 and without children is basically my party trick for dinner parties now.

Women are and have always been expected to conform, whether it is to a lifestyle, a career, a life choice, a family, a conversation - we are taught to be ‘good girls’. This way of living *cough* OPPRESSION *cough* means that we are silenced, we are taught to not create any type of conflict or discomfort - and not just to men, but to anyone we may interact with, out of fear we will be a burden on their day/lives/thoughts/jobs.

How many times have you been asked a question, only to reply with an answer that’s not only dishonest, but just vanilla enough that it won’t make you appear ‘difficult’, ‘confrontational’ or ‘rude’?
Don’t get me wrong, there’s time for being polite, but then there’s time for breaking through layers of learnt behaviour that costs you your peace.
What SW highlighted is an important and ever-pressing issue that as young and emerging women today we continue to face, and the vital need to continue breaking through and speaking up on.
You might not see it yet, but we are paving the way. We are a rising of powerful AF females that can change the narrative here. But it only works if you do.

We are not our jobs, our titles, our clothes, our financial or social status. We are worth more than any ‘inconvenience’ we may feel for using our voice in this world and it’s about damn time we not only realised that ourselves, but educated the world on what that looks like.
We are no longer accepting silence as an expected response - we are no longer ‘good girls’.

SW this piece is for you, and any other ‘good girls’ who may need a little extra voice in their corner. We’ve got a lot to say x