Um, I had a blog that I started back in 2021 chronicling my move from Seattle to Accra and my new life as wife but it seems I unintentionally deleted it when transferring my website 😏. There were some thoughtful and entertaining pieces there. So I mourned for a minute but now I’m back at it. I love writing and engaging with an audience so there will always be more words to write and stories to share. Welcome to my blog #TheBootengs2.0 where I will continue to chronicle my journey as an American —> Ghanaian and the journey that is my intercontinental life and love story 🥰.

Pregnancy as a P.H.A.T (pretty, hot and thick according to the movie PHAT GIRLZ) person is intersting. For one, I feel like I keep trying to prove I am pregnant and not just that I have a big stomach. That stems from how society views and treats bigger people. Now, I have always been quite curvy. So to me, my husband, and my family it’s pretty clear that my stomach has grown noticeably here at 20 weeks. But to the outside world, I do imagine that I just look extra chunky around the middle. Perhaps this comes from the expectation that some preferential treatment is typically given to expecting mamas and that most pregnant bodies we see are thin with a big perfectly round bump. Neither of these have been true for me. My bump is not naturally or perfectly round- it’s round up top but also squishy on bottom but it is perfect! And I have literally been pushed—so much for preferential treatment!

Story time: I move a lil slower these days and at the airport I was headed towards a seat at my gate and a young man bumped me and pushed past and happily sat his tail down in my seat. Thankfully, someone nearby was getting up and as I sat down across from him I made a HUGE to do about poking my belly out and sitting down while rubbing my baby and staring at him hard. He was so absorbed in his world and his phone he didn’t notice. At one point he did kinda make eye contact and then quickly looked away. A few minutes later he got up. It is my greatest hope that he felt guilty as all get out and will think twice about pushing past any woman, pregnant person, or human again!

Back to the point of this post. Another thing that makes this whole PHAR Pregnant thing a mental obstacle course, is that prior to becoming pregnant, I had lost almost 50lbs. Basically life in Ghana, without the ease and convenience of food EVEYWHERE, the heat which suppresses my appetite, and the joy that is Dancehall Divas, I dropped weight quite easily. [Note to self: being happy aids wellness!] About ten of those pounds came during my first trimester when nausea had its hold and I could barely eat or drink anything. I’d be a bold faced lie if I didn’t say I was extra excited for my baby bump with said weight loss. So it’s plaguing my mind that after such progress, people still just look at me and think, she just big, or wonder either way. I see those looks like, maybe she’s pregnant and I should offer her this seat, but I don’t wanna be rude?

In the end, I don’t really care what my bump looks like because every midwife/dr visit both me and baby are healthy and doing fine. But the journey to motherhood as a PHAT girl definitely has its woes.

“I believe in the story of Jesus but not the religion of Western (is there any other 🤔) Christianity because of the evil done in and through the Bible, Jesus, and the name of religion.”

a lot of older millennials spit some version of this as they-we-attempt to navigate who god is, the culture of black church we likely grew up with, and the reality of the state of the religiously racist world today. not to mention, so much has been done to liberate the black community in america through the black church. it’s a conundrum to know what and who we are serving through our beliefs and religious practices. but when i think about that opening statement, i mean it in this context: i lived in the US until i was 35, at which time i got married and moved to ghana. i’ve always, as a young adult, wondered who jesus is beyond religion and the bible. but it’s in ghana where i really started to wonder about the horrific role of religion and how it has shaped a god—and is it THE god?.because ghanaians will worship a white god before questioning their own subjugation, mental enslavement to white supremacy and western culture. what does that say that a land colonized, raped, and continually abused by cultural and political and economic and literal whiteness is willing to worship their god without question but not question their own abuse by the same devil? i think i might see things a bit differently if the literal image of jesus that was plastered all over ghana wasn’t literally white. if this land of melanin plenty didn’t have images, mannequins, body types, skin creams, and models that twin to white jesus. you won’t see the opposite in europe or america. to me this all signals a blind worship that’s likely more a worship of whiteness than god his/herself. but at the same time, i have absolutely felt the love of god and love of the holy spirit—elements of a three-part god that i was introduced to as a kid and always believed in. is that the same god as the “white god” ghanaian’s worship? the same who “sent” the missionaries and colonizers who stole my ancestors and made me african american as opposed to nigerian or angolan? i don’t know. but it’s something i am exploring.

I couldn’t let this sit. I’m tired of…and want to highlight leaders dealing with their shit

proud to be part of a generation that priorities living over working. we were not created to
the work never stops
get with the times
own your shut publically the way you blast others
two opposing things can be true at the same time
proud to be part of a generation where emotions aren’t the devil, suppressed, and ignored
so are we… or are willing to gave the shit and not pretend it doesn’t stink or place the blame elsewhere and when we speak up repeatedly and are not listened to decide to bounce. tomato tomato i guess.
at least we willing to engage about it. you sweep it under the rug and pretend it’s not happening.

Mark this day as the day I step out in big faith. In 5 weeks I’ll be leaving Accra, heading to the States for a series of appointments, making it back to Seattle in time for a week 29 check up with my midwife team and heading into biweekly appointments until the last month where weekly appointments will be queen.

As it’s looking, my Kwame won’t be able to join me. I won’t get on my soapbox about what colonizers owe Ghanaians and others, but from the news and common sense, B1/B2 (non immigrant visitor) visas do not have high success rates for Ghanaians. An employee at the American embassy said as much and an immigration attorney said outright USCIS is discriminatory and rarely approves these types of visas for Africans period.

This is largely why Kwame has always wanted to make his sacrifice, to miss the birth and first couple months of his child’s life so they don’t have to go though this. (The other reason being the medical system…). I love that he’s already that protector and provider for his child. And I hate that he has to consider such a choice.

So, with big faith, we are going to apply anyway and believe beyond what we can see. Now you might be thinking, of course apply, what can you lose? Well, a lot actually. Applying means we have to wait to apply for a longer term visa because applying at the same time would automatically reject the visitor visa. Applying means pulling together STRONG evidence of an established life in Ghana that “proves” will want to return and not overstay his visa (apparently Ghanaians are iamong the top five visa over stayers in the U.S., up there with much more populous counties like China and India. Thanks fellow countrymen 😏. But ultimately, off my soapbox, I blame colonizers more than them. So we absolutely have our work cut out for us, especially because I am American and that’s a strong reason for him to overstay in the eyes of the embassy.

So we’re just asking those with that crazy faith. Those who believe truly in the impossible. Those who see beyond what can be seen. Those who have a testimony. Those who understand god’s glory. We asking y’all to pray that we power through any obstacle. That grace and favor be our period. That every agent, security guard, price of paper work and evidence be ordained and ordered and aligned. That we know we are no more deserving than anyone but we are just crazy enough to believe. Pray that prayer with us daily.

So in a previous post I wrote about winning against the US immigration system. While I am holding fast to hope and faith, I am such a practical (capricorn) that i am also wanting ti prepare myself for what if it doesn’t happen. In that vein, I’ve started searching for articles, tips, anything, for advice on preparing for a storm. You know what I learned. That advice for weathering storms is geared towards being in the storm. For example, advice like remembering that seasons come and you’ve gotten through hard times before so you’ll get through this one. Or, how to lead your team theoigh a down turn. Or what to do when life feels heaven every day. I’m looking for more of like,