Meet Natalie Wester

A Letter to My Younger Self

Three Things to Know:
A Letter to My Younger Self

By Natalie Wester


Dear Friend,
Isn't that what we've most wanted in the world? A true friend? Someone to love and accept us in all our quirky weirdness. Someone we can trust to be loyal and have our back. Keep our secrets and withhold judgment. Haven't we longed to simply fit in and be liked and wanted as a friend? Oh, yes. I feel the tears stinging our eyes, threatening to spill. How many times have these tears flowed quietly, or sometimes not so quietly, in our private vault? Safe – but not really – from the eyes of others.

I want you to know, young Natalie, that the friend we've longed for since childhood is here. She is here, inside us. I know that doesn't seem plausible. The voice inside us has been so cruel. So unrelenting in its criticism. So expert in tearing us down for most of our life. But we really can learn to treat ourself the way we'd treat a treasured friend. We can learn to trust ourself. To speak kindly and reassuringly. To have our own back. To quiet the mean-girl voice and amplify the shining-goddess light that's always been within, just waiting to be discovered and embraced.

Trust me, sweet, misunderstood friend. An awakening is coming. I know you don't believe me. I know, young Natalie, you are in so much pain now. Pain stoked by our own thoughts and stories and scenarios created in our head. Pain and fear – self-created torment – no one else understands or even sees. I know we are a master at masking self-loathing and insecurity with self-deprecating humor and an ersatz veneer of aloof independence. You don't yet know, young friend, that we will die for a moment after the seemingly never-ending pain drives us to seek death as refuge.

Take my hand now. Soak in my embrace. Let me cradle and protect you. Bask in my healing love. I feel you. I know you. I understand and accept you. I believe in you, Natalie. Hold on. Hold onto me, your older self, and know these lessons I've learned:

1. Being different is good. Silent suffering is not.
Like any true Aquarian rebel, we have always been different. Marched to the beat of our own drum, not following the other sheep. Peculiar, perhaps, in our deep need for space to recharge. I know that now you want desperately to conform, and you care mightily about what other people think and say about us. We will finish grad school in Chicago, work a bit as a fashion and print model, and get some freelance writing published in various local newspapers and magazines. Our internal battle with depression will remain completely undercover, because Black folks didn’t really “do” depression or therapy back then.

Trust me, sad girl, we will learn to revel in our different-ness. We will discover our quirky personality traits and non-conformity equate with vision and creativity. We will learn that showing and sharing our pain and weakness is a powerful tool of healing and strength. You'll see. This is coming. Hold on.

2. Our happiness is deserved.
We will do well in life. After becoming the first Black and youngest VP and officer of the oldest independent PR firm in the country, we will start a small, local consulting practice. We will earn awards and large accounts. Yet we will not feel worthy or deserving. We will eventually get pregnant with the help of fertility treatments, and realize our dream of becoming a mother. We will live in a nice house on a street we never thought we'd live on. Everything will be great, but we will blow it up because we won't believe we deserve to be that happy. But, dear friend, we do deserve abundant happiness. We simply must give ourself permission to accept every drop of joy. You'll see. This is coming. Hold on.

3. We are good enough.
In our 40s, as the mother of a school-aged child with dyslexia, we'll want to learn more about how children learn to read. We'll think about going back to school, but our inner critic will tell us we're not good enough, not smart enough, not focused enough to start over and learn something completely new. We will end up going back to grad school and getting a second master’s degree as a straight-A student. Still, our mean-girl voice will continue to tell us we're not good enough to change careers and take a job actually teaching children. We won't believe we are good enough, even when we earn a teaching award that takes us to meet the president of the United States in the Oval Office of the White House.

It will take a long time, but we will discover we are good enough. Not good at everything, but good enough to try…to learn…to create…to change. We will transform our life with the power of these words: "I am good enough!" You'll see. This is coming. Hold on.

My dear, young friend, there is so much you don't realize you don't know now. There is so much we will learn. Please, young Natalie, stop wasting time and start not giving a fuck now about what other people think of us. Please believe in your own power and worth. Please believe in tomorrow, because tomorrow will take us to places we never thought we'd ever be.

You'll see. This is coming. Hold on.

I love you.

Your Friend,
Natalie

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Meet Sarah Flint

Meet the shoe designer and lover of all things vintage

I’m honored to have Sarah be the launch of a series of posts called Women of Our Time (Woot!) A Q&A quick look at the women we admire in a behind the scenes sort of way. What motivates them, what do they read, where do they draw their inspiration from, what great piece of advice can they share but most importantly, who are they as a woman before they are anything else.

We met recently at her Soho store where I asked her to choose a pair of shoes that would make my simple outfit pop and of course, she nailed it.

The aesthetic of her store, the craftsmanship and quality of a comfortable well-made shoe, her calm demeanor and passion for making beautiful things all spark an inspiring reaction. What about all the other facets of her? Let’s meet this side of her together.

Q: Tell me about a recent book you read.
A: I just finished reading Multipliers: How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Make Everyone Smarter. I appreciate how you can find the individual genius of each person you work with which is so relevant in a start-up. Good ideas come from everywhere. For instance, our Senior Head of Operations helped me design the store, it’s not part of her job description but she’s multi-talented and has a great eye for other things.

Q: What great piece of advice did you receive?
A: Lesley Blodgett, CEO of Bare Essentials told me that you can’t be afraid to reach out cold and put yourself out there. So much of your success relies on your ability to hear no. You have absolutely nothing to lose by trying.

Q: What piece of advice would you give?
A: Don’t be afraid to be relentless and go after what you want and when first starting out, when things don’t go as planned, know it’s not the end of the world. Use that experience to change the way you do things.

Q: Any podcast you enjoy?
A: Skimm’d from the Couch. It’s interviews with amazing women. I think you would love it. (Side note: just added this to my list of podcasts)

Q: Are you living your dream?
A: Yes, but things are constantly evolving. There is always another higher mountain to climb.

Q: What else can you share about yourself?
A: I love vintage everything, antiquing, color, print and the feelings of comfort they evoke. I love Jane Austin, the Bronte Sisters and would love to live in the English countryside and restore a manor and live out that dream some day. I travelled to the UK and France often as a child and the aesthetic sparked a lot of joy for me. If I weren’t designing shoes, I would definitely be an interior designer.

This is Sarah Flint, the woman and the shoe designer. Aren’t you glad you met?

#sarahflint
#flintfamily
#walklikeawoman
@sarahflint_nyc

Meet Terri Nakamura

Author, Social Media Strategist and Graphic Designer

Meet Terri Nakamura.

Terri Nakamura is the author of the book Blogging on Instagram, a social media strategist and as she puts it, a graphic designer who loves words.

Named one of Business Insider’s 100 Most Influential Tech Women on Twitter (where she has over 44,000 followers), Terri was an early adopter of social media and can be found across many platforms doling out incredibly useful information about social media and tech advancements.

I thought you might want to meet her.

Hopefully, she’ll clear up some questions about our social media presence, advancements in technology and my very favorite topic, long captions and how this all fits into our life.

Q. You went back to school for Digital Marketing, can I ask how old you were when you did so and what was the catalyst behind doing so? Any great tidbit you can share that might be helpful from the course?

I was 67 when I enrolled in an AAS-T (two-year program) in Digital Marketing. I’d been using social media for 10+ years and was curious to know what was behind the curtain.

I learned small influencers can be more effective than mega influencers (1 million+) because of the trust and stronger relationships they’ve established with their audiences. Users with smaller followings have yielded higher conversion rates (the ability to get their audience to take action) because of the quality of their connections. More brands recognize the marketing value of small accounts as they often wield a lot of influence. Smaller accounts can feel encouraged.

Q. Favorite podcast and/or book or what’s on your nightstand now?

Two podcasts I enjoy are ThoughtRow Podcast with Rod and Inci Jones. They feature a broad range of guests and topics. The other is Remarkable People with Guy Kawasaki. Recently on Guy’s podcast, Maxine Bedat, author of Unraveled: The Life and Death of a Garment, validated my practice of buying classic pieces that I wear for a long time.

As for books, I just picked up “Murakami T.” It includes examples from Haruki Murakami’s T-shirt collection along with short narratives about them. Murakami is one of my favorite authors, and I didn’t know about his obsession with T-shirts. My husband and I like seeing what’s out there since we design and produce gear for our store.

Q. Tell us a bit about your company and what is it that most people turn to you for?

Nakamura Design + Social focuses on print and digital projects ranging from corporate identities to collateral (print, online content, Websites, and other media). As a brand partner, I create blog posts or social media posts. As a consultant, I evaluate client goals and develop strategies. I’m working on a documentary project that includes a website design. I’ll be creating a social media content strategy for it.

My clients come via word of mouth, but last year something weird happened: someone found me when they Googled “Graphic designers near me.” That was a first!

Q. You went to the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas and I was blown away by your mention of holographic images that respond to touch. How did you feel about the technology you saw in terms of life leaning more towards AI and what would you tell women of our generation that are intimidated or trying to embrace technology?

2022 would’ve been the fifth CES for me. As omicron escalated, I canceled my in-person attendance. I did zoom interviews, including with the company that developed the holographic interface. I thought it was like futuristic sci-fi!

To GenX and boomer women, I’d say, think back to when VHS came out. We learned to watch movies via cassettes and change our listening habits from disc-players to iPods. And the biggie was all that comes with the smartphone. We’ve proven we’re able to embrace new technology. 3D holograms that respond to touch would be another new thing we’d quickly adapt.

Besides the exhibitors, CES is open to business and media outlets that have an audience interested in technology. Having a verifiable media outlet is needed. Social media influencers have different requirements related to reach and impact.

Q. Your book Blogging on Instagram read as a reference guide which I loved. Given that you write about long captions and how IG can be a blog – do you think that blogs are still relevant? If so, how can we maximize our blogs for best reach?

Research says blogs are still relevant. I interviewed adamant experts about “owning your media” versus “renting” it. We rent space on Instagram—meaning we have no control over the site or our content on it. It could cease to exist tomorrow, like what happened with Google Plus. A blog will be there as long as you host it. So yes, blogs are still relevant.

I believe Instagram is a great tool to reinforce a blog. Suppose you’ve cultivated an IG audience and have shared helpful, entertaining, or informative content. In that case, some readers will want to know more—services like Linkin.Bio and Linktr.ee make it easy for your audience to explore your blog or website.

Other ways to bring attention to your blog posts include building a subscription base and sharing to other social media platforms, such as LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter.

Q. What’s the key behind getting people to read your longer caption and did you innately start with long captions and see a positive return or was it a progression?

I started with short, boring captions. I recommend two things besides telling a story or making a point in the body of the post. The first is to begin your caption with a “hook” that is interesting or intriguing. The second is to enlist the opinions, experiences, expertise of your audience through questions that invite them to participate.

Q. What do you think of the new Instagram feature with home, favorites & following options and the ability to rearrange the grid?

I’m interested to see how this set of options develops. Many users asked for the return of the chronological feed the way it was before Meta acquired IG. Two options, “following” and “favorites,” are slated to show us content chronologically. The third, “home,” will deliver content dictated by the algorithm. Home is the view we currently experience. The new twist will be showing content posted by people we are NOT following.

The rearrangement of the grid could offer opportunities. Many people like seeing their content chronologically. (I know I do.) A friend, Sarah Bauer, said she could see a customized grid as a “welcome mat” to new followers. Maybe we can curate the first nine posts to show some of our best or favorite images out there? If we decide to rearrange our grids, I hope there be a “restore” option to put it back in order. That would be key for me. Crazy things like sorting by color or content could also be a thing. We won’t know until it rolls out.

Q. What’s on your IG wish-list that could be done better by the platform?

There is one awful user experience I’d like to see fixed. IG should mitigate the spam and fake accounts that follow us. A straightforward way to reduce the volume is to let users check a box that says “no private accounts.” Unless we can see the content someone posts, why would we want to follow them?

Q. Any suggestions for not getting your photos stolen or more importantly accounts hacked? We’ve had several recently hacked accounts that we’re aware of within a small group of us. Watermarking seems so last resort but wondering how you feel about it or if you have any words of wisdom.

I’m mystified about hacked accounts and stolen photos and haven’t looked into it enough to offer an intelligent answer. I’ve read IG doesn’t like it when users watermark or copyright their content, so I haven’t incorporated one.

Q. What’s your take on Clubhouse? Has it fizzled out?

I’ve popped in twice in January to hear what’s happening on Clubhouse and was surprised to see many of my connections are still active. Since its launch, social media audio channels have proliferated, and its exclusivity is no longer an attraction. It recently announced a web interface. I like that idea, and I may return at some point!

Q. What is something you’d like to share about yourself as both a woman in business and someone that is weaving through this part of life?

It’s an ongoing challenge for women to balance family and work. It’s worse when children are young, or if you’re at a stage in your career where you don’t want to risk being seen as less available or committed than work colleagues. Thankfully I’m past that.

I think we need to be mindful of our personal goals and devote time to ourselves to reach them. Writing a book has been on my bucket list for a long time, so I was proud and happy when I achieved that goal.

Q. You’re the owner of Alki Surf Shop in Seattle, WA - a testament to how multi-faceted we all are. Do you surf and what joys have you found in being a part of that.

My husband, a former advertising copywriter and creative director, and I co-founded the store. We sell branded clothes and beach gear. Neither of us surf, although at least he’s tried. We love California and Hawaii surf culture and wanted to bring the vibe to Alki Beach in Seattle. The real joy we’ve experienced is our customers. They are the best from around the world. How many stores have you shopped where you felt compelled to take pictures and hug the owner? It happens at our store every day.

You can find Terri at - @terrinakamura and read some of her very interesting and insightful posts.

A big thank you to @thoughtrowpodcast for putting her on my radar.

Meet Susan

The Midlife Globetrotter

Meet Susan. The Midlife Globetrotter.

She has an honest to goodness fabulous blog. What makes it so fabulous? Solo travel. Reframing midlife. Self-discovery. She’s traveling the globe bit by bit (hence her IG handle) and shares her expeditions and thoughts on everything from where to get the best view of the Eiffel Tower to the castles of Scotland to best practices for smart packing.

Her complete guides on locations around the globe are worth checking out.

I’d love to introduce you.

Q. You're from Toronto but now live in Denver, - what was that transition like and tell us what Toronto vs Denver is like for those of us that have never been.

I love both cities and they are very different. Toronto is the 3rd largest city in the U.S./Canada, after New York and L.A. It is big and busy and very multicultural, which I love! Denver is smaller but still has great restaurants and museums, and much better weather. It is very sunny and I love living near the Rocky Mountains.

Q. For women contemplating solo travel, what are the most important safety tips you can give?

Do some research about safety precautions in the place you are visiting and then trust your instincts. Take the same precautions that you would if you were alone in your home city. There are probably places you wouldn't go alone after dark, for example. On my recent trip to Paris, if I went out after dark I made sure to stick to busy and well-lit areas. If it was late I would call an uber rather than walk. If you want to explore a place after dark but are nervous about being on your own, I recommend joining a group tour. For example, I was on my own in Seville, Spain, in the fall and I took a "tapas tasting" tour that went from 7 and 11 pm. It's also a great way to meet people.

Q. What can you share that was an unexpected part of solo travel - both good and bad?

I believe solo travel can help us reconnect with parts of ourselves we've forgotten when we are busy with families and jobs. I am reminded of things I love to do. For example, I linger in restaurants and enjoy people watching. I also spend more time just wandering around taking photos. Being solo can also spark a new interest. For me, the downside is I stay up too late when I'm on my own. And of course, I miss my family.

Q. I was amazed to learn from you that 1 in 10 people around the world are employed in travel. How can we make the greatest positive impact in their lives as we travel in their world?

Find ways for your travel dollars to benefit local people, rather than big international companies. For example, hire local guides and stay in locally owned hotels. In developing countries, buy souvenirs at cooperatives that pay the creators fairly. A cooperative provides its members with support such as education and childcare.

Q. Any major packing hack? What can you absolutely not travel without?
The one thing I can't travel without is my water bottle. I can avoid buying plastic bottles and stay hydrated when I wander around all day.

I've learned to try on everything and to choose pieces that go together in multiple ways. Picking a color scheme helps with that. I created a capsule wardrobe that was enough outfits for a week of spring travel and fit into a carry-on bag! I shared it here on Instagram; it's saved in my IG highlights for anyone interested.

Q. Where are you travelling next?

May will be a busy travel month. My son is graduating from college in L.A. so we are taking a SoCal vacation at the same time. My mom is coming from Toronto; I can't wait. My next international trip is a sailing trip in Greece in late May. It's a group trip with a women-led tour company: @Traverse Journeys . I am excited, and it will put me a little out of my comfort zone. I've done sailing day trips, but never a whole week. Do I get seasick? Stay tuned!

OH HEY, FOR BEST VIEWING, YOU'LL NEED TO TURN YOUR PHONE