i love you, chan.

you're still in the group i made and i wanted a place to hide letters for you so!!! here it is 💖

05.12.21 —

to you,

you're still in the group i made for you so i wanted to do this outside of that, as a little surprise. i feel like if i post in there, it's not going to be the same as if i give you a bunch of things at once? i'm still going to post pictures and little thoughts in there of course, but letters i'm going to do like this now, just so you don't get to see them as i'm writing them, and i can accumulate a few all at the same time.

did you know it's been over a month since you told me you love me? that's wild to me, how it's been so long already. i mean, it's not that long but it's longer than i thought it was. it feels like just yesterday that we both said it, but in reality, it's been a while. it's been even longer than that since we both actually made this thing happen. i'm really thankful we were able to come together again. i always say that, but i truly am. i don't know what i'd do without you, chan. you make me so happy, and i feel so.. safe and warm with you. i feel like every time i write you a letter, i say a lot of the same things, but it's how i feel and i like to let you know.

you are.. truly one of a kind. the way you care about me and your groupmates and your friends and just the people around you in general is inspiring to me. the way you're so in tune with everyone is even more so.. it's wild. you know when i need you, it's like you sense it. how the hell do you do that? how are you so in tune like that? i know we wake up at the same times a lot, we tend to pop in and talk to one another at the same times too, but it's still amazing to me that you can just *sense* when i need you. i like to think i'm really good at reading when you're off, when you need to talk about something or something's bothering you. you're good at that, too. but to just... *feel* that i need you? that's wild to me, and i appreciate the hell out of you for that.

i love you so very much, chrisopher. i always will, there's never going to be a day where i don't love you. you're perfect for me and you're someone i want to spend the rest of my life with. i can't wait to see where we go from here, baby.

thank you for being mine.

love: sannie

13.05.21 —


i think each day i find a little way to love you more. today, it was just through thinking about how much i care about you, and how much you mean to me, and how we help one another. we're good at that, aren't we? at helping each other to feel better about things, to ease each other's anxieties and troubles. i love that about us-- i love that about you.

each moment i get to spend with you, i love you more, too. yesterday? in your studio? i hope you were able to feel how much i love you. i hope i conveyed it well enough that you understood. it's not something i can say in words or something that's able to be measured. it's something that's so strong i want to scream it from a mountain. it's so warm that i want to curl up in it and sleep for days. it's so comforting that it feels like i don't even need shiber to sleep alone ( and you know how much i love that plush ). it's all of that because you're all of that. and more. so much more.

today was a weird one, with the group chat and all. i didn't mean to cause any issues with it, and i know you both know that. but i still felt bad and felt like, had i not made it, nothing would've happened, so technically the slight bickering was my fault, right? i'm sorry about that. and i know everything's okay now, but i still want to apologize for it. i never want to cause any issues for any of us, you know? so it hurts and it sucks when i do accidentally.

i think i'm going to end today's letter here. i'm going to be busy all weekend unfortunately, but you bet your ass that next weekend? i'm going to be bothering the hell out of you. i love you so very much, channie. thank you for being mine and loving me, too.

yours always, sannie.