“While on phase 1, I was put in a “safety hold” (restrained) twice.
The first time was in my 2nd or 3rd week there because I was extremely depressed and it was setting in that I was going to be there for a long time. I did not get out of bed in the morning to do chores and get ready. Once everyone else went to the center for breakfast, 3 staff members came into my room and basically said, “Are you going to get out of bed, or are we going to have to get you out?” They violently grabbed me and threw me on the floor from my top bunk. They proceeded to shove my face into the floor, sit on my legs, hold my shoulders down, and bend my wrists back so I couldn’t move.
It was extremely painful and terrifying, and I was having a full-blown panic attack, bawling and hyperventilating. I was begging them to stop and telling them they were hurting me, but they didn’t care. The owner of the program, Randy, came to the room, and I remember him standing in the doorway saying, “You’re in complete control here, Kaira. All you need to do is stop crying and follow the rules.” After at least 30 minutes of being held down, I forced myself to calm down. When I stopped struggling, they said they were going to let me go, and I said, “Please don’t hurt me,” and they laughed at me.
They would not let me up until I said verbatim, “I’m sorry, I will follow the rules, and I will write my essays.” When I got up and looked in the mirror, my face was completely swollen and unrecognizable. My nose was bleeding, I popped a blood vessel under my eye, and I had bruises and bloody carpet burns all over my legs.
The second time was also on phase 1 after a family therapy phone call with my parents where I begged them to bring me home and they refused. I was bawling my eyes out because I was terrified to stay there any longer, so my therapist texted 2 staff members to come get me. They grabbed my arms and were walking me outside from the therapy building to the center.
I kept saying, “This is f***ing bullshit,” and the female staff member told me to stop cursing. When I didn’t, the male staff member threw me on the cement hard enough to knock my shoes off. They then picked me up and took me to the seminar room, took my sweatshirt off, turned the air conditioning on blast, screamed at me, and held me in the “safety hold” for almost 2 hours.
They would not let me eat dinner, and they held me down for so long I could not feel my arms or legs. They made me sleep in the school room with all the lights on the entire night under constant surveillance.”