Just some words together and some feelings

Just some thoughts about life episodes. I have Depression and Anxiety sometimes both of them makes me write or even some feeling makes me wonder and question society "rules" .

Just a thought about beauty standards and how they affected me .

Why do I feel so ugly after watching women with wonderful bodies on tv ? It bothers me,cause they portrait all women with perfect bodies, I know it's entertainment but tv should change it patterns of beauty standards,like, a prostitute after fucking with so many men on a medieval times like that wouldn't have perfect tits c'mon, we don't see real women anywhere ! This bothers me,cause I feel like people will never change it and all normal women will feel diminished.
I feel like okay,not every woman it's so uncomfortable with this situation but all women aware of how it reflects our society, perfection is everywhere,tv comecials, magazines,tv shows,.. nobody seems normal on most tv shows, everyone looks like taken from a magazine,which makes stronger the unreachable beauty standard of all media. And women that have their insecurities feel less beautiful,and I talk about it myself,but I'm aware of the whole thing behind it.

Nobody show raw,natural bodies on tv,cause the mass like to fantatise about something unrealistic,what was something that the media made them at first get used to,now to take it away is like naturality is something weird and horrible to see .

I don't come to you guys with a solution, research and see for yourself about it, it's your own journey, I don't wanna force you to think like me.

I feel like the worst person alive, like if the life of everyone who loves me would be better if I have never existed.
Like if I was a mistake walking on Earth , I feel lonely , like if I were just a little piece of shit on even my friends life's , and I love everyone too much , that I am needy , just like Ariana's song .

Hurts so bad that I can't control the tears dropping through my eyes, it's so hard to hide it from anyone , cause my real wish is to fall to the ground screaming and crying.
And this pain can be released by something that a regular person, without any disorder, thinks it's bullshit but everyone who suffers or had suffered from Depression and Anxiety would know how It feels.

It's so damn hard to forget the following thoughts after seeing something that triggered you, it takes time to everything be okay again .

I'm not saying that this kind of feeling is good and you should cease your existence, cause even through it hurts as hell when is happening, it passes, and things go back to the way they really are , your mind is saying bad things to you it doesn't means that all these stuff are true , most of the times they're not, so take your time and do the routine for when you have bad days and you will make through it, I know cause I did multiple times.

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