How to let it go?
"It really is okay not to be okay."
You might be laying in bed thinking about someone from your past that you had to let go of in order to move on. Maybe the reason was for yourself, for him, or for the both of you.
Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months and soon it was a year since it had happened. But .. why can't we seem to let go? As if they were shadows, dark and unseparable.
As someone who had been there, let's take you back to a year ago.
I would like to call myself as someone who is bubbly and outgoing. I was in my prime time indeed, living my best life with my friends and family. Nevertheless, though always surrounded with people, I felt alone.
Not until I met the man, my first love. I was filled with love, genuine happiness and it always left me at awe how fairytale-like the feeling was to the point it seems .. unbelievable. True to that, it was.
Red flags kept popping up, but being blinded with love, I ignored it. Everyday onwards, I would cry myself to sleep, whispering and comforting myself, "I'm okay, he loves me and I love him. Everything is going to be okay."
It took a phone call to wake me up, to tell me I was suffering over a man who wanted nothing but fun and freedom. It took a phone call to know that I meant nothing but just another toy to play with. It took a phone call to uncover the truth that I was a homewrecker. Lastly, it took a phone call to flush my life into the drain.
I was spiralling, like a mad rabbit, trying to pretend that I was okay, but inside, I felt dirty. I hated myself and it took me months to know that when God took something from you, know that he'll return something far better to you. Have trust in His plans and He'll forever give back the smile that you had lost.
It's okay to feel these emotions of sadness as well as to cry. We are indeed humans aren't we? Emotions are to be felt so that we are able to understand ourselves better and evolve. It really is okay not to be okay.
I'm just an average girl, but weirdly I'm okay with that.
" I love to write whenever I feel like my heart had been torn apart, when i feel distant from my own self and also when im yipping in happiness over little things that happens in life.
But, I would love to share these personal thoughts to the world in hopes that someone out there, doesn't feel like they are the only ones." -zeushi.