The skies must’ve read his heart for they cried with him. With every raindrop hitting the surface, his heart grew heavier. As if bearing the load of all the water, which eventually trickled down his eyes. The chime of the doorbell, breaking him out of the spell. Yoongi hurried to wipe his tears and plastered a fake smile on his face, like always. That smile only dimmed upon seeing the familiar face of his friend. He will have to break the news to him. Namjoon will be angry. Namjoon will try to talk him out of it. But most importantly, Namjoon will be disappointed.
"Hey hyung!" Namjoon greeted as he placed his umbrella in the stand and made way towards the man on the other side of the counter.
"A slow day at work?" He inquired.
"It’s always a slow day here Joon." Yoongi replied dryly.
"I’m closing the cafe."
"It's barely ten hyung. Why are you closing so early today? Do you not feel well?"
"I’m closing the café forever. I no longer wish to continue this business." Yoongi clarified.
"What do you mean close it forever? This is your passion. It was your dream Hyung! How can you just throw it away like it's nothing?!"
"It was our dream. But there is no us now. There is no point in me continuing without him around." He muttered quietly.
"I know you are hurt and everything reminds you of him. But hyung, what about you and your future? The two of you dreamt about this café but you Min Yoongi dreamt about it too. I know somewhere deep down you still love baking. I just don’t get why you keep punishing yourself for something which was not even your fault."
"I don’t wanna discuss this any further with you."
"No, you cannot just close it. Come on now think about-"
"I said I don’t wanna talk about it," Yoongi stated sternly.
"Fine, do whatever you want. I’m going."
"Joonie wait listen to me-"
"I thought you didn’t wanna talk about it. So, call me when you are actually ready to talk about it."
And with that Namjoon left the cafe; frustration bubbling inside. Making itself evident with his movement. Yoongi tried to follow him, only to stop at the threshold of the door as a defeated sigh made its way out.
There is something profoundly beautiful yet melancholic about the way the city is so full of life yet dead, when it’s raining. With the grey sky swept over the busy streets of the city, the rain has such a mesmerizing effect. Souls, scattered across the city, are bustling through the streets, not stopping to look at anyone or anything. The moment the clouds open and shed a thousand tears, pedestrians hurry in different directions. Most are dreading the rain, while some don’t even notice its misty drops.
What catches Yoongi’s attention is the man standing by the cafe. Looking intently through the glass door, his eyes shining bright. Feeling Yoongi’s gaze upon himself, the boy turned towards him. An equally bright smile adorned his face, as his bunny teeth peeked outside. As if time was playing tricks on him, nothing seemed to move but just the boy. It was when he walked a bit closer that Yoongi noticed his sculpted figure through his very wet shirt.
Achoo!
Yoongi blinked out of his stupor. Ever so slightly shaking his head in the process. But taking notice of how cutely the other man scrunched his nose as he sneezed.
"Uhm, Hi. I see you working here everyday and your cakes smell very delicious. Ah, don’t get me wrong, I'm not a stalker. I just live around here so you know…uh hello?" The young man waved his hand trying to get a response.
"Oh ah…umm are you cold?" Yoongi asked, trying hard to compose himself.
"A little." replied the man sheepishly, scratching the back of this nape.
"You can come inside and sit 'til the weather clears."
"Oh really? Thank you!" With that the man excitedly followed the owner to the café.
"Would you like something?" Asked Yoongi.
It was a customary practice for Yoongi to ask all his customers what they’d like to have. So, it was hard for him to comprehend why the young man’s face fell. Maybe he just wanted to sit inside and not have anything. But that’s nothing to be sad about, he could simply say he didn't want anything. Seeing the troubled state of the guy, Yoongi took the initiative to ask if something was wrong.
"I don’t have money."
The answer was simple. Yet the look in the boy’s eyes left an unsettling feeling in Yoongi’s heart. He couldn’t ignore how his gaze followed the cakes lined up across the counter.
"What is your name, boy?"
"I’m Jungkook."
"I’m Min-"
"Min Yoongi. The best baker in Seoul city and owner of this dessert bar. You are kind of famous, you know." Jungkook finished with a soft smile.
"Alright then Jungkook, since you happen to know me so well, I presume you must also know about my loss of taste. So how about you help me with this cake I made?"
"What do I have to do?"
"Simple. Taste it for me."
Now standing in his pantry, Yoongi only wonders what took over him to be doing this. He was shedding tears just this morning over closing of the café and now here he is offering cakes to a beautiful strangers. Help him with tasting, what a joke. It’s been about a year now since he lost his ability to taste, yet this will be the first time he’s asked someone to taste his cooking for him.
Every recipe Yoongi made had a story to them and most of them were inspired by one person. The one whose absence has now craved a void in his heart, taking away his sense of taste with himself. The berry cheesecake that Yoongi now places in front of the man he just met, floods him with memories of laughter. Memories of hands dipped in flour, memories of happy feet chasing one another in playful banter.
If the fascination and mirth in Jungkook’s eyes on seeing the cake didn’t say it, then his reaction on tasting it certainly did. Like a dried forest on fire, Yoongi’s heart ached at the smile spread across the former’s face. Those raised eyebrows, and the twinkle in his eyes might have been the brightest thing Yoongi had encountered in a year.
"This is so good! I haven’t tasted something so good in ages! Please teach me how to bake this."
"Teach you?"
"I’m serious. You have no idea how much of a sweet tooth I am. I will do whatever you want in return. But please teach me."
Yoongi still doesn’t know what took over him that day or as to why he agreed to mentor Jungkook. He was going to close the place down for good, but then again it was physically impossible for him to say no to that face. He knew for sure it wasn’t out of pity. Perhaps it was the awe and delight written all over the younger man’s face which made Yoongi’s toes curl in anticipation. Waiting for his reaction with every bite he took.
It's been a month since Kook started working in the café. Working as a full time barista in the day and learning from Yoongi at nights. Cleaning the place was not much of a chore since Yoongi liked keeping things organized anyway. Namjoon would swing by in the afternoons for lunch. Apparently, he and Jungkook clicked instantly. And now their lunch basically consisted of Joon teasing Kook. Since a lot of customers had taken a liking to the new employee and kept coming back for different coffee orders, trying hard to get his number. Yoongi would teach Jungkook after closing and they would particularly spend about 3-4 days mastering a recipe. The young man was good at picking up instructions and was highly intuitive. Though there was no point in Yoongi tasting what the latter prepared, he made sure to compliment his technique and keep him motivated.
Every evening across the bustling streets and behind the closed doors of the café, two people would rest in their bubble. Lost in the world of freshly whipped cream and the fruity scent of cherry toppings. You could see them building new worlds in their imagination as they whisked and measured. Like a choreographed freedom of their actions, free yet orderly. Sparks flying in every stolen glance. The taut rope of tension only gets tighter with every brush of fingers and collision of shoulders.
"Chocolate choux buns? What’s this recipe? Why isn’t it on the café’s menu?" Jungkook inquired after reading through flyers he found in the drawers, while looking for an extra whisk.
"It says delicious choux buns with a creamy chocolate custard filling…sounds delicious. Should we try this one today?"
And within a blink of an eye, the pamphlet is snatched out of his hand and tossed into the bin.
"Whoa! Why’d you do that?"
"We’re not doing any recipes today. Go rest." With that Yoongi started to leave the kitchen.
"No wait. What is this about? What’s wrong? It’s just a recipe."
"IT’S NOT JUST A RECIPE!" Yoongi bellowed.
Yoongi had never raised his voice on anyone his entire life. And the thought of him doing so to Jungkook made his heart quench with guilt and shame. But he also couldn’t let go of the hurt resounding in his head. No matter how hard he tried to run away from it he always stood at the same threshold of pain. How can he teach that recipe to anyone or even look at it when it took everything away from him? How could he forget all the blood on his hands? It’s as if life had decided to put him in a cruel cycle of torture.
So lost in his mind that he didn’t even realise Jungkook was reaching out to wipe his tears. He let him do it.
"I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have shouted at you. It’s not your fault." He muttered as his head hung low with shame.
"It's alright. Do you wanna talk about it?"
"No, I’m tired." And with that Yoongi silently left to his room upstairs, leaving behind a concerned Jungkook in silence.
Everything laid silent in the stillness of the night. As Jungkook sat thinking hard. It hurt him when Yoongi turned towards the shadows, it hurt him every time he turned away from him. He wanted to be there for the elder, yet he didn’t know if Yoongi even considered him close enough to open up to him.
The approaching footsteps pull him out of his thoughts. Yoongi quietly sat down next to him. There was so much to be said yet both continued to sit in awkward silence. Fearing his questions might push away the other man, Kook chose to wait for Yoongi to speak first.
"His name was Daehyun. We played together as kids and graduated together as well. This cafe was his idea.
And nobody loved me more than him. To me he was my everything. He was all I had known except baking. He introduced me to Namjoon. Nobody loved my deserts more than he did.
He never complained about me staying late in my kitchen or giving him minimum attention on days I was stressed about a recipe. Maybe he should have. Maybe he should have rebuked me. Maybe he should have fought with me. But instead, he always supported me, until he breathed his last breath."
Yoongi choked on his tears, as he tried to finish the story. Never noticing Jungkook rubbing his back.
"He was on his way here to taste those chocolate choux buns that day. When a car hit him just down this road.
If only I never made this recipe. If I had spent all those weeks with him instead. Every day Jungkook, every fucking day I look down this road and see his face covered in blood."
With that Yoongi grew silent. Kook still kept his arm around him.
"My mom died giving birth to me. My father owns Jeon Inc."
Yoongi turned towards Jungkook; surprise painted all over his face. The boy he met shivering in the rain with nowhere to go is the heir to a multi million company?
"My father used to blame me for her death. I even believed him at one point in my life." Jungkook sighed as a distant look covered his eyes.
"My mother died just so I could live. There was no way in hell I was wasting this life. So, I left behind everything to start over on my own."
"Daehyun-ssi wouldn’t want to see you like this. Didn’t you say he supported your dreams? Then why do you think he wouldn’t anymore?" Jungkook asked Yoongi with his full attention now on him.
"If it weren't for me, he would have been alive."
"You cannot be so sure of that. Why are you punishing both of yourselves for something you cannot change? Do you think his soul can ever rest easy, seeing you like this?
Please Yoongi. If not for me or yourself, do it for him."
"It’s hard. It's so hard."
Tears welled up in his eyes. A single tear rolled down Yoongi's cheek. He felt his throat closing up. Tears streamed down his face. Jungkook looked close to tears too. Eventually they both burst into tears. In tears their vulnerable self pleaded for help, as they held onto one another for solace.
Heartbreak is grief that comes in waves, gruelling, stealing one's appetite and sleep. It is a sharp knife in a man's gut that never leaves, though perhaps in time the edges will dull.
Weeks went by, the sun shines a lot brighter now and the winds gotten warmer. Yoongi sat on one of the stools waiting for Jungkook. The latter was in the kitchen preparing the choux bun which they had worked so hard on. Having taught the recipe to Kook made Yoongi feel so much lighter. It was not just the recipe, but also a weight from his heart that he shared with him now. He had even promised the man to taste his baking this time. Something Namjoon would be so proud to know.
"Are you ready?"
"I’m so nervous right now." Jungkook giggled, covering his ears with his hands.
He diligently plated the choux buns and hazelnut quenelle in each plate; all set to taste.
"Let’s do this together shall we?"
Yoongi laughed a little seeing how excited Jungkook was about it.
And with that they dug into their respective plates. Jungkook’s eyebrows shoot up in delight as he drops his spoon and pulls Yoongi towards him.
"I cannot believe it! They came out great!" Jungkook exclaimed with happy tears rolling down his cheeks. Overwhelmed with joy he pulled the other man for a kiss.
But Yoongi was lost in his thoughts. He didn't want to break the boy's heart. How was he to tell him that he still couldn’t taste anything!? So, it was when Jungkook’s lips touched his, that a miracle happened.
In that kiss was the sweetness of passion, a million loving thoughts condensed into a moment. As if all his lost senses had made their way back to him. Mild taste of chocolate melting in his mouth as their tongues collided against each other. His eyes open in realisation as he forces himself to break apart from the younger man.
"Jungkook I can taste!" He exclaimed, still trying to catch his breath.
"What?!"
"I can taste the cake Jungkook! Oh my god! I can taste it."
Jungkook gently holds his face as he stares deep into his eyes. A smile instantly spreads across both their faces.
"I love you, Min Yoongi.
From the first day I saw you from across the glass door of the bakery, to the day I came face to face with you in the rain. From the moment you asked me if I was cold, to the night we cried together. I have loved you. And there is nothing more in this world that I want than making you mine."
"You have been the reason I have not closed this place up already. You have been the reason behind my every smile since the day I saw you. You make me wanna cook again and do everything I have been running away from.
So yes, I love you too, Jeon Jungkook. I don’t know if it was the forwardness of your eyes or your bunny smile. I don’t know if it was the day I met you or this moment in the present. But I love you and I’m scared of losing you. And I cannot imagine myself without you."
"You have no idea how happy you make me,hyung."
And with that he wrapped his strong arms gently around Yoongi’s petite figure. Resting his head on his shoulder as the immense glee of the moment made his heart flutter.
In his embrace the world stopped still on its axis. There was no time, no wind, no rain. Yoongi’s mind was at peace. How could it be that he hadn’t seen Jungkook’s love for what it was before? Pure. Unselfish. Undemanding. Free. He felt his body lean into Jungkook's soft and warmer one. This was the love he’d been waiting for; praying for. He inwardly thanked God and hugged him all the tighter. A love like this was to be cherished for life. Finally, he was home.