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“Hearing God’s Voice for Everyday Life” Journal
😢 There I was. 19 years old and so desperate to hear from God I did a two day voluntary fast and spent the entire weekend alone, outside and camping with the Lord.
I agonized.
I strained.
I worshipped.
I leaaaaaned as hard as I could into Him.
But it felt flat. Cold. I couldn’t even navigate which direction His presence might have been. It’s like he was straight ignoring me.
It was AWFUL.
I was heartbroken 💔 . Two days of seeking him and fasting and NOTHING.
Finally it was curfew on my Bible school campus and I had to head inside. So as I stood by our pond in the dark at 10:50 pm, tears flowing down my face, I said with a mixture of hurt feelings, betrayal and anger toward the Lord, “You know, YOURE the one who said if we seek you wholeheartedly, we will find you. That if we draw near to you, you’ll draw near to us. But you haven’t shown up at ALL! And I feel lied to.
So, if you want to redeem yourself (oh the arrogance 😣), you can give me a dream tonight. But let it be known, I’m so disappointed. And now I have to go inside.”
I sobbed to myself as I walked inside. I felt so lost and betrayed.
BUT… That night, He DID show up. He came to me in two dreams. 👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼
The first dream was a super up close view of my face, where I could only see my eyes and top of nose, and my face was white pure porcelain, without even a pore. As I looked at this view, tear drops of blood appeared in the corners of my eyes and ran down my cheeks. 🩸
I felt immediately aware of the meaning. It seemed like the porcelain represented the purity of my heart in seeking the Lord so deeply, and the blood tears represented the intensity with which I sought him. This scene was the lord assuring me that he in fact had seen and heard me, and had been found by me. My time was not wasted.
😧The next dream was a dream of my angels. I had prayed many times in my life “Lord I’ve seen demons, but they’re unimpressive. Why can’t I see angels? I want to see my angels.”
One angel to my left was 7 foot tall man with the head of a lion 🦁 , and to my right, another with the head of an eagle 🦅 . I knew these were MY angels, assigned to me at birth and represented mantlings on my life.
As I saw this scene I was saying to myself in the dream “Jen!! Jen!!! He is showing you your angels!! Take note! Don’t forget!! He is showing you your angels!!”👼🏻
When I awoke I didn’t really know what they represented but years later prophet Phil taught me that they represented a Prophetic and Leadership set of gifts on me.
✨The Lord HAD showed up after all. Despite my spicy challenge, he saw my heart. He is indeed faithful.
This is one of the challenging moments among many in my journey to learn to hear God’s voice. Many tears. Many struggles. So. Much. Striving.
And you know, I’ve learned since then that hearing his voice comes much more easily in a state of restedness, not striving. In peace, not anxiousness. In a place of love, not fear. Humility causes him to draw near.
❤️For years now I have been able to confidently hear His voice and one of my life missions, my most primary focus, is to teach people how to simply and easily learn to hear His voice for everyday life.
💥Why? Because ONE encounter. ONE word from Him can change EVERYTHING.
💥That’s the mission behind my podcast. And now the mission behind this journal.
👉🏼Just because it’s a simple thing doesn’t mean it’s not life changing. 👈🏼
🤓My journal is the first book I’ve hit “publish” on and I’m so excited to have it available for pre-order before Christmas!! 🎄
If you’d like a signed copy with a personalized note and free shipping, you can grab a pre-order here! This option only available until December 15th!
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