V-day '21

Theme: Shot by cupid or shooting cupid?

Got shot by Cupid: A mother's Love

This valentines I got shot by Cupid twice.Most Valentine’s Day I normally focus more on my partner but this year it’s all about the other guy who stole my heart.This boy has drastically shifted my perspective on life and what real love feels like,here’s a few things I have recently learnt about love since he has been in my life : Love is for everyone. This is probably the most important thing that he has thought me, I went from not feeling worthy to love to someone who’s heart Is bursting with love .Love belongs to everyone, and everyone deserves love. Not only that, everyone deserves to be loved the way that they prefer to be loved. Secondly he showed me that I must Save my energy for the good stuff. This world wants us to focus a lot of our energy and attention on knowing or improving the way that others feel about us. As hard and frustrating as this can feel sometimes, the secret to all of this is that we have zero control over whether or not people love us. Thirdly,Loving others matters. I said before that it is nearly impossible to change the way that people feel about you. That being said, the one thing that he has showed me to do is to have control over is the way I treat others.

I truly love & appreciate him for showing me what my best self looks like when I’m in love ,Thank you Sekani Jones .

Got shot by Cupid: Gratitude

Shot by Cupid is an understatement for what I feel towards this man .He helped me bring forward the love that I craved for many years and I’m truly grateful,because of him I now understand that Inorder to get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with. this valentine we plan on devoting the day to each other by attempting relationship team building activities and also address the obstacles we have crossed over for the last couple of years.

Got shot by Cupid: Healing and Loving

Celebrating Myself and Him.

This Valentine’s Day I have decided to love myself. Yes I am in a relationship of three years now going on four, but throughout my relationship I have been learning and growing as an individual. My mental health has taken a toll on my relationship, I am needy, I am aggressive, I am sad. Although my partner is amazing and is supportive of my struggles he too has struggles in understanding my hardships. Mental health is new to him given the fact that he grew up in the Caribbean and raised by African parents. Men do not express their feelings in these cultures and the stigma regarding mental health is not the best.

My partner has been loving, patient, and everything I need during these times. He’s my shoulder to cry on, my punching bag, my best friend, my listening ear. But that is not fair. He deserves the girl he met 4 four years ago. The girl who was care free, the girl who was always smiling, the girl who was never jealous, the girl who trusted him. He is in a relationship with my anxiety and not me. My anxiety and depression has taken over my body and that girl is struggling to breath due to the weight that is on her chest. Many times she has tried to take a breath and several times the air has escaped her.

My prescribed medication is helping as well as my constant therapy sessions. I have made it my goal to better myself not only for him but more importantly for me. To love myself more and to be patient with myself. I am trying and consciously working everyday to extend that love to him. I am trying to be the independent woman I once was before. I am trying to allow him to breath and be his own man. I am trying to shower him with love the way he had always done for me. I am trying to give him the peace he has requested. I am trying to give him the girl he met four years ago back. Although I have grown and that girl is long gone, apart of her still remains, and the searching has begun. She is slowly surfacing again and I await the day she’s able to fight through the devil that is holding her hostage.

This Valentine’s Day and everyday remember to love others but more importantly remember to be gentle and love yourself more. Sending love to those who are struggling with themselves internally. Remember you are not alone and there are resources waiting for you. I love you all.

Got shot by Cupid: Love always

Sharing & celebrating with family.
Loving all around
I have become more conscious of others and their feelings over mines. Selflessness is important. Giving another person a chance to explain and hear their story made me stop and think before judging. Everyone has some issue they're struggling with and tend to cover it with an attitude that comes across as negative.
Take time to listen not just hear what your partner/family/friend is saying and not saying.
Share the love. Give and you would receive. Love always 😍💕

Got shot by Cupid: Healing

A Toxic Love Story

This is the story of how I fell in love with a libra.

I was in form four in secondary school and that’s when I started seeing this new girl in school then one of my friends who claimed to be dating her said she transferred from another school. I don’t know why but she instantly caught my eye, to me she was the most beautiful person in the entire school but back then I was mr shy guy so I didn’t say anything.

Fast forward a few years after we finished school and everything around the time “msn messenger” was popping and I got her email from one of those chain emails. Didn’t know it was her at first but as time went by we got closer and closer and eventually started dating. An entire year passed before we went out in person but we did and it was as amazing as I always thought it would be.

Fast forward some months we stopped talking because she was upset that I had to travel not knowing she was traveling too. While she was off island we started talking again and she dropped a bomb on me saying that she was pregnant. We stopped talking again until she got back on the island but I was already dating someone else where she got back. We continued speaking until me and the person broke up which wasn’t my fault. We were good like really good people even thought she was pregnant for me that lasted until her child was born, she flipped out for God alone knows what and stopped talking to me for a few years.

Fast Forward again, about a month before or so before her birthday she came back in my inbox again apologising for everything she did and saying that I don’t deserve to be treated like that and she don’t deserve someone like me. Now me being madly in love with her after all that she did I instantly felt all my feelings for her come rushing back not knowing that she’s in a relationship. For the next 3-4 years we were on and off again while she was in that relationship then boom another bomb she’s pregnant again but this time it was different she and the father was together so we never really linked up we just slowly drifted apart.

Fast forward again, we started talking again she had her second child but this time she and the father just broke up. I fell back in that toxic place again thinking this time was gonna be different but I was sadly mistaken. Everything was going good until she just magically changed AGAIN this time I took the hint and decided enough is enough and took it upon myself to just blank her from my life completely. I’m currently single and going through my healing process.

-Mr. Anonymous-

Got shot by Cupid: Valentine's day can be for friends too

To be very honest, I would not be doing anything special today. I do have a boyfriend; however, I don't think he is into Valentine's day as much as I am, which sucks because I never experienced Valentine's day with a significant other.
On the bright side, I will be showing love to my best friend because she always show extra love to me on this special day. One revelation I noticed since I chose love is not every man shows love the way you would want him to. Everyone express emotions differently. Thus, it is imperative to learn your partner's love language.

Got shot by Cupid: Choosing love

I’m just trying to stay alive
Gonna love myself
It don’t always love you back
Don’t just say you love, live the love you feel so that it is felt whenever you’re around
Care for your love and it will care for you

Got shot by Cupid: Real love and advice

Throughout my late teenage life, Valentine's day has been a day I've really celebrated. Simply because I didn't quite understood its significance. However, as I've grown older, I researched and perhaps, understand its meaning a bit more. Nevertheless, this Valentine's Day, I am showing love - without any tangible / materialistic commodity - to myself and to my partner. And I bet your next question is, "well how?" On our regular dinner datenight on Friday, at our favourite spot 61 west, we sat and had one of the most mind-blowing conversations ever, since the start of our relationship. Initially, we were planning on going to Barbados for the Valentine's weekend, to just rest and recuperate from all of the running around and school work we've been engaged with. But with the new protocols in place, and deadlines around our necks (him being a phD student, and me finishing up my undergrad) now was not the right time. So, he decided we should change the routine a bit for this Valentine's. In that, we should wake early today (which we slightly failed lol); he would make breakfast (as if he doesn't always do lol); and for the rest of the day, we should accomplish three school deadlines in full; and after we have shown that 'love' and 'commitment' to ourselves, we would make dinner at home, sip on my favourite De Toren The Black Lion Shiraz, red wine, and come up with some vision for our the next few months as a couple. The latter was quite a shock, as he has never been that way before. But whoever this is now, I am loving him more! Because of this, it is safe to say that this valentine's I am loving both myself and my babes, and moreso my siblings (as at some point today, we will be doing a game call and celebrating our mother's recovery to walking). One of my biggest revelation, is me being able to truly let go and forgive, and trust - - trust me, it was hard for me. But I knew what I wanted, I took the time to evaluate, and further introspect, there were a lot of issues between myself and babe, that made me feel to walk away, or kill him (don't quote me on this lol) but at the end of the day, we came to a lot of conclusions and decided to put in the work to save what we want, and we were able to understand, communicate, and compromise, for the sake of our oneness. It wasn't that easy to confront our demons, and we have not yet confronted all of them, but it is a work in progress and we are dedicated to the taks at hand. If deep down you believe whatever you have is worth saving, put in the work, and trust the process. If you need to love yourself more first, put in the work, introspect, and write down everything that you feel. Take some time by yourself and write down all of your plans, dreams, aspirations, make your vision boards (trust me, its therapeutic), have friends who are high achievers like you, plan vision parties with them, read more; and most importantly, don't forget the bordeaux glass while you're at it!!! In essence, for the entirety of 2021 cupid will be shooting me.

Got shot by Cupid: Lovee

This Valentine's Day i woke up next to the love of my life. No greater feeling that knowing the person you sleep with
at night whole heartedly loves you maybe even more than you love yourself, his love for me has healed me in so much ways that he doesn't know and even if one day we separate (because nothing lasts forever) i will not leave with bitterness because i can say we both truly gave the best we can here (atleast we are trying to). There are alot of ups and downs ( this man TESTS me) but the good outweighs the bad.

To anyone looking for love, don't look because we tend to end up in the wrong hands, take time for yourself and heal and if you do find someone ensure that they are willing to walk that journey of healing with you, make sure they don't ever let you go to sleep mad and even if you do can still turn over and hold you, make sure that they love ALL of you and don't give them too much of yourself before They show you they are serious about you. I don't have all the answers because i am still healing from past trauma but with him i am in a better place than where i started.

So let me proudly say cupid shot me and hard too. Have a great Valentine's Day all. Spread love, Share love, Give love.

Got shot by Cupid: Love

When loves comes unexpectedly it comes with full force. You constantly question yourself whether this what you feeling is real or fake. There’s a constant tug of war with yourself. However, you then see the love for what it really is and you begin to appreciate it. I never expected love to come and feel this way by it sure did. Three years and going and everyday it grows. We have our ups and downs as it’s quite normal. My biggest supporter, my best friend , my comedian and everything in between. In relationships you have to completely open and honest and you’ll see all the joy and happiness it brings. You’ll appreciate it for what it is and it’ll be nothing but love. My partner is my best friend and that’s the best best friend I’ve ever had.
Love Chelly

A lover's account

You always hear the positive parts of relationships. However, it indeed takes conscious effort, even when you are deeply in love with each other. I have to say that our biggest struggle was that of understanding what the other needs in order to get over anger. I prefer that he sticks to my side and talk to me when I'm upset. On-the-other-hand, he prefers the opposite; which is for me to give him time to deal with his anger. Often time I gave him what I really wanted, and he gave me what he really wanted. Thankfully, we've come to understand this and are both making an effort to do what the other desires. The key is to always listen to your partner and their desires and communication will become easier. - R. Springle

A lover's struggle

Unknown source 007

Something that I love and that annoys me all in one is the fact that he tries to fix all my problems once I tell him about them.
Sometimes it's cute and very needed help because I'm stuck and don't know what to do next or where to turn so I vent to him and he takes it upon himself with me asking to try and fix it.
Bit sometimes again it's annoying. The reason I vent to him in not because I want him to do something it's because his my person and sometime I just need a listening ear and I'm not exactly looking for someone to take it upon themselves to make my problems go bye bye
Without me asking*
And when I complain for about him doing something without my asking or turn down my help he seems hurt or makes me feel like ungrateful 🙄😒 with his bitch ass self.

Strength in Pain

I think I’m still in the process of learning to love myself but that sure doesn’t affect my ability to love another person, and I must say I have been experiencing this new type of love that just brings me PEACE, in past relationships it was always about arguing and proving a point and weird enough, to me, I thought that this was normal, I actually loved the arguing and the fighting because I believed that if you argue with me it means you care, but then soon after these petty arguments I loved so much became emotional abuse, to the point where I would get blocked for hours, my calls would get rejected, and right or wrong I still ended up apologizing. Did I leave? NOPE, well not after three years had past but even though I knew it was wrong even when it hurt even when I knew I deserved better I stuck around, for the sake of LOVE? Or what people gonna say and to make matters worst, my family adored him so to me I was stuck. I would listen to my friends stories and think to myself well my relationship ain’t that bad, I have it better than y’all, lol there I was comparing my toxic relationship to another. In the end I learned a lot, I’m no expert but after being in a situation like that for three years you tend to take something away from it. -Anonymous-


It all started 10 years ago. I ran into this guys who stole my heart, we’ve been up and down. After 4years of being together I gave birth to a bouncing baby boy , three years after we then got married which was the worse mistake I made, it went downhill from there and wanting to be the supportive spouse I stood around and stuck his shit for 3 1/2 years, until one night I said to myself, “you deserve BETTER, why are you accepting this kind of treatment”. I then called it quit & told him the same night that I no longer wish to be apart of this relationship, not expecting it he was speechless. We then separated & came to the understanding that things can’t work between us & we would be better of as friends.And tbh I don’t regret making such decision, we as women should know our worth and know when to leave unhealthy relationships and (DON’T IGNORE THOSE RED FLAGS). ~ A

The process of building a foundation

From my current relationship what I have learnt is that a good and healthy relationship takes WORKK.
Workk to understand the other person and their needs and wants, especially if they don't always line up with yours.
Workk to communicate effectively so that both parties feel heard and understood.
Workk to bare who you are to someone and feel comfortable with trusting someone with vulnerable parts of you.
Workk to let what you are unhappy with be heard, not in an argumentative /accusing way, but in a way that it helps to build you as an individual and as a couple.
Workk to learn that it is okay that your partner is not perfect, because neither are you.
Workk to be patient enough to see your partner grow & change those imperfections, so that you all can work better together.
Workk to admit that you are wrong and that there are stuff that you as a person need to change.
Workk to understand that every relationship is different, and that what may be the mainstream idea of certain aspects of a relationship just may not work for you& your partner. Gotta find your niche.
&iss Reeaall Workk to put all these things
But I have also learnt that in doing all those things, and putting in all that work, some of which may come much easier than others, the quality of relationship that you would have at the end of it is more than worth the all the energy that you put in. It is a learning and growing experience that cultivates love at the end of the day ❤️

A lover's Appreciation

It’s quite astonishing that we are able to obtain knowledge on various subjects such as riding a bicycle,functioning of a device, how to kiss even why airplanes actually have one wing(allegedly). However, similar to raising a child with love there is still so much undiscovered truths, no manual(which I love using).Strangely ,I am not flustered or out of depth in the absence of this manual you make me embrace each unknowning step. Having you beside me on this journey gives me the extra motivation to push through the tough days and embrace them like lovely sunny days on the beach with you cuddling me. Sometimes we allow our greed and lust to get the better of us thus makes us oblivious to the ones that’s truly by our side for instant gratification. I know definitely as my mother says my one in the hand is worth ten in the wild.

A Lover's Open-mindedness

One thing that I can certainly say contributed to a low in my relationship was ineffective communication. He would talk too little, I would talk too much, and I always felt like we were never on the same page. And then I would overthink about what that means. Is it just that he isn't comfortable enough with me? Doesn't trust me enough? Doesn't want to talk to me? It would drive me crazy. Especially when he was dealing with something and I had no clue what it was or how to deal with it. -Chica(1)
And things were always misinterpreted on both ends because one might assume about the other one instead of just asking a question or simply letting the person know how they feel. -Chica( part 2)
I have learnt however that it is important to try to understand something from the partners perspective, but even more importantly, you need to be open and be willing to talk. Exchange how it is that you feel or why you feel that way. Share with them your perspective on things. Don't be afraid to ask a question to clarify something. As opposed to assuming what they meant by what they did or said. Or that they can know what is going on in your head, don't take that for granted at all.-Chica(3)
It's the only way to stay on the same page and move forward together in the same direction. And it has certainly helped us alottt.

A Lover's Fairytale

My husband and I are more than best friends. We are a single soul. We have such a wonderful understanding of our love that we Balance life and its issues really well. We are better people together and We have taken time to learn each other so much that we have mutual respect for each other. Now Don't Get me wrong we are still figuring our way around each other but we are free to be who we are within our union because we commit to unconditional love towards each other.
My Husband celebrates my weird and I do his. We treat each other well. We think of each other and support each other. The reason we are so grounded is that we put God at the head of our union. We seek him personally and together. The most intimate experience you can ever have with someone is to be able to hold their hands and cry out to God together.
I have never felt insecure or had to question my husband's loyalty. I trust him and he trusts me. If we have a disagreement we are able to have a conversation about it calmly. We promised to be a safe place for each other. And even though we have been together forn3 years married 1 year a half. I still feel like he hasn't stopped pursuing me. I feel like the luckiest woman in the world and he still causes my heart to skip beats when he looks at me and smiles.❤


There's a saying, " your taste in men is a reflection of how you see yourself!" I am currently single because I realize I always lower my standards for men who never really cared about my well-being. Also, it was easy to manipulate because I have low self-esteem and self-worth. I healed by taking better care of myself, learning to love each and every flaw I possess and heighten my happiness. So when a man comes to me now, he has to meet my standards.


My partner and I have been together for 3 yrs and going now. The way that our relationship started was kind of unexpected. I was going through a tough time at the moment is a young single mom with many flaws and low self-esteem. However, having clearly seen my many flaws he still somehow saw my flaws in a positive light. That's one of the things that I love most about him. I have recently come to realize that because I have now started to see myself in that positive light that I never confronted those flaws, broken parts and it was beginning to be a problem. Little things started to trigger old feelings from the past and I began lashing out at him. This is just to say that in a relationship you need to be open with your partner, communicate the little things that may upset you because later on, it can be a much bigger problem. There are many highs and lows in a relationship but once there is effective communication and determination from both partners you can survive any situation together.  


Stories of a Gouyave girl

I'm never forgetting where I came from


As I embark on this journey of posting regularly, I designed a layout on how and what I will post. However, in the spur of the moment, I decided to travel another route.
As I was thinking and obsessing about my plans, I sat and reflected on my odyssey from childhood into adulthood. I thought about all the persons, sacrifices, and small but cherishable moments. Sometimes stopping and reflecting is just what you need to help make the path clearer.
I remember my Nehemiah days and teacher Maureen. My Anglican days with all the eventful times. The thoughtful teachers and their unique ways of fighting for each student to grasp the concept. I remember how Ms. Munroe would beat us if we were unable to recite our timetable. Or how Ms. Fredrick would spend afternoons helping the class with Mathematics after the school bell rang. I Cannot forget the foreign languages taught by Mrs. Hamilton, who didn't play any games when it came to us learning French, and Mrs. Modeste/Lewis, who taught us Spanish. Mr. David with the Science fairs, both Ms. Patrick's and Mr. Forrester, whose licks had you contemplating your demeanor. Or how about Ms. Jones, who taught me my "first big word" - inquisitive? And Mr. Lett - who would reward us for knowing our work and introduced dictation to improve our spelling and punctuation. Mr. Knight and his diligent work and the many other teachers that contributed to a memorable primary school experience. Thankful for the cooks that ensured we understood the importance of maintaining order while we await our turn. And to the boys that would play "boots" in the pasture and have us girls running - thank you. To the females, thanks for the little conversations and fun times. To the besties, Sade, Tyler, Kerona, Kayleen, etc., thank you for the barbie dolls, sleepovers, birthday parties, and extra Sade, who kicked a guy for hitting me.
To my second family, Dixeann (Mama), Octavia (Tavia), Olivia (Mickey), Dwight (Papa), Rudy (never knew his real name), and to mom - Dorothy, thank you. I spent a lot of time there growing up, and to this day, I consider them my siblings. I would never forget that Dixeann taught us as kids how to fold a fitted sheet. Still use that method to date. Everything about them was/is warming and welcoming. To mom, who was always there and always treated/treats me like her daughter and still call me (Poopoops - that's another story).
My experience at Convent was an okay one. The best part about my attendance was the "fresh of breath" friends I met. From form one through form five, I argued, cried, laughed, and ignored these best friends. We always found a way back to each other, and for those that I am no longer friends with, I am forever grateful for the experiences we shared and thankful for the memories. Akeisha, Reeane, Chelsea, Janelle, Ashel, Krystal, Andrea, Nikkisha, Akeba, and Azel - love and appreciate every moment. Onto my TAMCC days, it was the same group of best friends with one added - Aqua. Special mentions to my favorite - kadel - love you beyond words.
Now in SGU, I made so many friends and connections. As extensive as the Psychology department to the nursing department. *Shaneice*, Nadica, Khadijah, *Kerryne*, Mercedes, and Sajni. Jhadijah and Khadine (both nursing students) made my first semester one for the books with crazy experiences. I can't wait to see how you all will do in your respected fields, wherever you choose to go.
I can't neglect to mention my blood relatives. Growing up, I remember how my cousin "Wall Nail" would pick me up from pre-school and carry me home. I still think about that and hope I didn't rob him of an afterschool social life. I hope I can one day give him something grand yet sentimental. Speaking of sacrifices, I remember my cousin in Gouyave, Roxanne, would take care of me like I was her own. Even ensured I was straight on graduation and ball day, I truly appreciate you. Aunt Dica and Aunt Lenise's contribution to my success is also appreciated. I remember my mom would call aunt Lenise for assistance, and she would never hesitate to give. Aunt Dica would check up on me to see how I'm doing while I was at TAMCC as her establishment was nearby. My aunt Fiona was who I looked up to and still do. She was/is the epitome of a successful black woman working for her own. Aunty Enid ensured my dad had all that he needed and made monetary contributions to help our situation. Not sure if I mentioned this in a previous blog, but my dad was unemployed for five years and utilized his savings, family members, prayers, and thankfully a scholarship I received from Communal Credit Union. All my dad relatives that helped uncle Samuel, Zingo, Baba green, Uncle Cleophas, Uncle Ashton, Uncle Mashe, Uncle Wayne, I am truly grateful for you all. The times were pretty hard, but my dad did all he could to ensure I never reflected our struggles.
To my cousins, Shonis, Selena, and Jakai, I am beyond grateful. Jakai was the one with the concerts, and we would argue over who is the Beyonce of the group. Selena was the next-door cousin you call ever so often for everything and advice. Shonis was the big sister I needed as a child. And the best for last, Frances, writing about you requires at least ten blog posts. She was/is my twin; where you saw one, you saw the other. We were inseparable, though we had a few hiccups like most people in CONSTANT contact, we always bounced back. That bond is forever! Definitely top five.
To my parents, where do I begin and end? You both have been my rock from my first cry. You both ensured I never lacked a necessity. You're a combination of everything I hope to become in life. From the softness of my mother to the determination of my father. I am doing a series about our hard times and how you guys dealt with them to become victorious. I pray I am one day able to repay you if that is possible. I pray I can see you guys relax without worrying about bills, etc. Thanks for all your sacrifice to push me towards success. All your kind words and parables that later made perfect sense truly shaped who I am. Having you both for parents is all the assurance I need to know God exists.
To everyone I forgot to mention, thank you! To the persons that encourage me, support my craft/business (L & T's Organics) - thanks. To the teachers and contributors, thank you. To persons I met on the sidewalk - thank you for helping me with character development and humility. To both my communities Gouyave and Brizan, I am a proud daughter of both soils. To the villagers, thanks. To the homeless persons that would help me cross the streets as a child, I remember and love you. To Lexann Fletcher, weird but, thank you for making me believe I can grow up to achieve my goals. To the teenage mothers, thanks for showing strength comes from within, and congratulations on going against society's standard and creating life regardless of your age. When we live in a society that sells sex but shames teenage pregnancy, anyone who brings forth a child is brave - thanks for exemplifying strength.
Lastly, to little Lexanne, girl thanks. Thank you so much for creating goals. Thank you for writing your feelings and expressing yourself through words. Thank you for understanding you have a lot to offer. Thank you for refusing mediocre. I am sorry for all of your unfortunate experiences, and I am thankful that it all shaped you. Thank you for not changing despite how cruel the world has been to you. Thank you for showing me how to love after you have been denied love. Thank you for still believing in the magic of new beginnings. Thank you for being relentless and effortlessly beautiful in your approach and tactics in life. You are deserving of a good life.
To anyone reading this, you deserve the best. Begin by being the best version of yourself. Surround yourself with people who would be honest with you. Uplift yourself. Find your whoosah. Find what brings you peace. Enjoy your youth. Three words, self-love, self-care, and self-respect.

Happy birthday dad ❤

When I started preschool, I was 2.5 years old. I was living in Gouyave and would visit my dad on weekends. At the time, my dad lived in a little board house with an outside bathroom. When I woke up on Monday mornings, I knew I was not seeing my dad again for what felt like a longggggg time (a business week). So I would wake very early, strip, and go outside to get my early cry in before anyone woke up. Then, I'd start my shower process so it'd look like my tears were just water on my face. Between the ages of 2.5 - 5 yrs (length of time spent in preschool, less some months), I already understood the bond I share with my dad.

Fast forward to my graduation from St. John's Anglican School. My dad was handing out certificates and I was so proud of him. His education journey ended at primary school as he could not afford to attend secondary school, yet he still managed to become successful enough to be RECOGNIZED. That moment always plays on my mind. It taught me that in the end, we really choose our future, regardless of the cards we are dealt, we have the final shuffle.

Moving upward and onwards, my dad never missed a first day! I was a teenager in St. Joseph's Convent crying when my dad left after dropping me off. I've always been a daddy's girl, and adolescence didn't change that. Why? Because my dad instilled wisdom and parables that made me think, and understand as I grew older. Seeing what your parents teach you come to pass, forces you to recognize that they have your best interests at heart.

Now I said this to only hate my dad one night when he said no to me hanging out a Christmas eve night. If you are Grenadian, you know how important it was as a teenager to hang out with friends on said night. Wellllll, my dad gave me my Christmas money and I bought clothes for my Christmas eve lime. He was okay with that all along. When the night finally came, I was dressed with my hair well done, and my dad said, "Where you going?". I started crying IMMEDIATELY cause I know that was it! I wasn't going again. That night I crieddddddd and I got sent into Twitter jail cause I was throwing it all up. I was tweeting so much about how much my life sucked, that I was unable to tweet for a while.

Jump to ball and graduation. If your alma matter is St. Joseph's Convent, then you know the importance of father-daughter dance. My dad has "two left foot". He cannot dance looool. Imagine dancing with this man! Not going to lie, he tried. He practiced very often, and his reason was to not step on my toes. What a remarkable man. Could you believe I was ever mad at this man? Lol.

Now we're in TAMCC. I was a Culinary Arts major there and my dad, as per usual, was very supportive of my decision. In 2015, we (hospitality department majors) traveled to Barbados for internship and I was so happy to go there. No parents? No rules? Just friends and fun? Work too but 😬. I'm on the airport getting ready to travel to Barbados, and I was NO longer happy. I was thinking about having to leave my parents here and my mind wandered. When it was time to leave, I cried like a baby. My eyes got swollen and I latched onto my dad and was not letting go. I was begging him to tell me to stay. He did it as a joke and at the time, I was so serious that I figured he was serious as well. I left Grenada with tears in my eyes, hating everything and everyone.

While in Barbados, as it would've been this given moment, it was my dad's birthday. I was torn up about it because I couldn't spend his birthday with him. That was his first birthday I didnt spend with him since my time on earth. I didnt communicate much that day, I stayed in my room and write down my feelings to help me process what I felt.

Now we're here at the university level, and my dad was/is there every step of the way. I brought my dad to my first day of school loooool (mainly cause I didnt know the school and not cause of attachment). My dad has always encouraged me to choose whatever I want. Not what everyone else wants for me but what I want for myself. He motivates and pushes me to accept that my destiny is nothing less than greatness. Hence, my handle on social media - lex_greatness - manifestation is real!

When you grow with a dad that was always way older than most dads, you feel the need to cherish each moment in time. I cannot picture my life without my dad, I always pray I never have to. Happy birthday to a king who placed time and effort into making and molding a queen. Love you forever, unconditionally.

Happy birthday to this guy, Lionel Alexander!

From your one and only, Lexanne.

Fraction of my whole

Growing up, little funny factors contributed to who I am. I can vividly remember being in kindergarten at St. John's Anglican and everyday feeling embarrassed. Why? Because my mother never saw the big deal in having homeless people pick me up from school. Sounds funny now, but back then lol - TRAUMA-TIZING! There was this one I would call "Teletubbies" and he hated it, which made it funnier. My mom would pay him to pick me up from school and cross me the road. At that time I was living 3 minutes maximum from the school. He would come to my class, ask for "Sandra girl", and I would immediately "duck" down. I would run to avoid holding his hands and wait for him when I was close to the road so he can cross me. This was a regular occurrence, not only with "Teletubbies" but "Moco" and others. My mom has no memory of doing this, however, she still remembers that ONE time I stole a piece of gum from her bag, fell asleep chewing it, and woke up with it in my hair.

Sidenote: If you are not from Gouyave then more than likely you do not know the people I am speaking of. - Covered by Lex.A

Can a man really know?

Perhaps he can. Let's see what people have to say about that.

Oh damn?

Yes, in certain cases. Sometimes you just meet the one and you just know you want to spend the rest of your life with her. Take the good and the bad, all of it. You just know God made her for you. And that is a true blessing. However, sometimes forces beyond your control prevent you from doing so and may even cause you to lose her. But in the back of your mind, even after you moved on, you moved on, you still know she was the one. - anonymous

Step by step

It varies. Because the self is such an ever-evolving thing, people grow/ change in so many ways given their life experiences on a day today basis. And so, marriage is a thing, where a man or even a woman for that matter (as women fighting for equality now, they might just be the one to propose) needs to know who they are marrying inside out, because you're not just marrying that 1 person: you're marrying someone that have different 'personalities', when they're vex versus when they happy. How they talk to their family, versus a stranger or a vagrant.. How well they handle pressure, how well they or not we'll they handle the challenges of life. And so, I feel that six months into the relationship, everyone is still in infatuation mode ( that this is not enough time to say well yes, she /he would be my wife or husband). I believe a list should things should be kept in mind of the characteristics the man wants in a wife and vise versa, and as they get to know each other, they check off as they go. But everyone is different, and so for some people, a month is all they need to say yes I'd her, and for others, it might be 4 years and more. What matters is not the amount of time they take to decide on proposing, but it's the time and effort they put into knowing each other (and making that commitment to to realise that when you say I do, it's not just to that happy person looking all nice on the day, but I do to someone that is ever evolving into someone or something new each day. - anonymous

Dispositional factors?

I would say, he would know if he can live in the same house with the person in that time and in some men's minds that's the same as "Marriage" lol, but won't go as far as to say he would know if he wants to marry the person. Then again, it would depend on the person and their age, the more you see the more you know, and the older you get the less time it takes for you to make those kinds of decisions. - anonymous


Does a guy know if he wants to marry you within 6months?- personally I would say that’s too soon to know a person well enough to know if you want to marry them. You’re still in the infatuation stage at that point. Some men may feel they know but whether this would change over time, it could well do.

Should a guy see a future with you at 18 months?- I would say yes. This is long enough to have got to know each other and established a firm relationship.
it obviously depends on the persons personal views to marriage and children and also ages etc. I think the most important question would be do you understand each others views on commitment and is the relationship progressing in a way/speed you are both comfortable with
Drop mic 🎤 - Nyah


I think every person is different and they know when the timing is right for them. Never rush something like marriage that is a huge life long commitment that person will let you know when they’re ready. - Khadijah

Getting rid of toxic People in your life.

What happens when you are a toxic person?

Growing up, I always had a deep fear of being abandoned. I manifested that fear in various ways which bred my toxic traits. Firstly, I thought I just ended up in toxic situations and that the people were, but I was wrong. The abandonment issues prevented me from saying no and from leaving situations I had no business in. It was hard and at that time, not knowing why I act such a way, made it even more difficult.
I latched onto friendships and hated the thought of my friends having other friends. In fact, I felt betrayed if a friend bonded with someone else. I manipulated friends into feeling guilty because of their choice to expand their circle. At the time, I was unaware but my negligence is no excuse.
To some extent, Society can be blamed for accepting such behaviors. In our communities, toxic behaviors are encouraged and termed "territorial" when It is just toxic.
Only healing or perhaps time can remove the damage from dealing with a toxic person or you yourself being a toxic person. If you know someone that is a toxic person then here are a few steps you can take to raise awareness of their issues without being judgmental. Firstly, voice your observations to the person and depending on who it is, then you will have to present evidence. Secondly, do not dismiss your feelings or any detected hostility/ passive aggression. Next, decide whether the 'ship' (friendship/ relationship) is worth it.
How about you as the toxic one??? Seek help. Lool. I am joking but not really. In order to break away from your toxic trait, you have to get to the root of the problem - what is causing this behavior? For me, through blogging and vacationing I got to understand myself better. Here, another advice: get to know yourself. Don't be hard on yourself. Both discovery and healing are time-consuming tasks, be consistent and hedonistic in your approach. Self evaluate regularly and understanding healing is not always linear.
I am not toxic, you are?! No. Let's work on becoming the best versions of ourselves! Do not allow blame and continuous self-doubt stop you from rising above the social norms.


Fear of abandonment causes this toxic trait

Today the 13th of May I came to a not so shocking realization. I am responsible for all the abandonment I feel in life. I push people away because of a fear of them leaving. I somehow felt removing them before they removed me makes me feel better. I was wrong. I know where this abandonment issue stems from I have addressed it in the past yet I am still suffering the consequences. I lost my best friend - I miss her. I am hurting the closest people to me that means no harm. I decided to briefly address this to apologize to all the people I have hurt. I am working on bettering myself and mending the relationships my careless, selfish acts destroyed.



I am officially naming this week "stand, face and fight your demons week". Yesterday I addressed how abandonment issues affected me; I did not detail my experiences but you can check out what I said yesterday on my previous post.
Today, the demon I am facing is DOUBT. The past can strongly influence someone's outlook on the future. At the beginning of this Spring 2019 semester, I scored low on an exam, really low. I knew I was failing that course and mentioned it to my family and my friends. I went back to the drawing board and thought up other approaches to take. By the next exam, my score improved drastically but not enough to get me to an A. My heart broke and my self-efficacy dropped horribly - I doubted myself. Every exam in this course though I studied, fear of failing left me blank on the exam. The semester flew by quickly and waiting on my final grade for this course was nerve-wracking!! I finished the course with a B+, a few points away from an A. Had I believed in myself and my potential I would have definitely scored an A. See I entered exam rooms with the thought that I already failed so my actions worked along with my thoughts. That was my biggest mistake - we are supposed to approach every new challenge as we will triumph over each obstacle presented throughout the course.
Doubt can hurt your outcome, seeing things for what they are and importantly, believing will carry you to your dream-worthy destination. Believe in yourself; do not let experiences alter the way you see yourself. Remember doubt is the enemy of success.


Keep scrolling

Everything worthy is worth the wait

As the older people would say, "doh rush the brush". Don't go comparing yourself to someone else's success. They may be on their chapter ten while you're on your chapter three. Take a breath and observe the things in your current surroundings, there is no time like the present. There will NEVER be another time like right now!! So fall however many times as you wish but always get right back up and keep trying. Say a word of prayer - God either grants it now, just now or gives something better - you will understand why your process was the way it was. TRUST YOUR PROCESS; you will appreciate where you are much more when you worked hard to get there. When your turn comes around, remember there is, was and will always be a reason.

☆ Don't forget to get it fam.

Keep the faith

To all the women out there who are trying, please never give up. Keep the faith, whether you are a pregnant teen, a single mother, apart of a Nuclear family, single and looking for love, focused on school/job/stabilizing your current chapter - you are TRYING. Put God first and watch things fall into place. Never let someone's opinion of you alters the way you see yourself. You are great. You have a purpose. Take calculated risks; apply for the job, take a vacation (travel within the country if you wish), hike, Camp, do whatever makes you feel alive on the inside (something positive and legal of course). Never let go of that thing that gives you a tingle in your stomach, that thing that reminds you of your childhood, that thing that puts everything into perspective but most importantly, GET IT GIRL.

No means no.

Do you think dressing provocative consents sexual actions or no means no???

I don't understand how is it some men tries to justify their dirty habit by saying she was immodestly dressed. How? If I say No, how is it you can say I wanted It?
Time to break the stigma against speaking up against sexual assault. There are tons of females and males struggling with their sexual health because of someone who cannot control their emotions and urges.
Speak up so they can have the courage to do so as well. Make it a norm for purity to exist; stop promoting those sadist videos and behaviors. Let's make being in your own skin comfortable. Get it, girl.

You'll be surprised to see who's paying attention.

Your admirers will look from a distance. Keep living and being the best version of yourself possible. Get it, girlllll 💛

Breathe positivity

I remember the first half of 2018, I remember thinking this is the worst year of my life. I went to the hospital three times for three different problems. I was crying and doubting God.
I remember asking why me to God. I remember saying that I don't go around having sex with multiple people, nor do I do drugs or alcohol abuse.
I remember saying to myself, How is it that I pray, read my bible (daily), worship and spread the word. Wondering why is God doing this to me? Am I not enough?
I remember my mom saying, "why You? Why anybody else?" That placed everything into perspective for me. Why would I want anyone else to go through all of this? Why would I try to question my hero's work? Did I lose faith?
I remember my mom reminding me that God gives his biggest battles to his strongest soldiers. I remember her telling me that I should consider myself strong; look at all that I am going through. If God has faith in me, who am I to doubt him?
I said all this to say -- what seems as your darkest times may just be your most eye opening moment. Not everyone has a "present" mom, you may have a dad, best friend, family or might even be your spouse.
Just REMEMBER your scars are there to remind you of where you've been; not dictate where you are going. Trust that he knows exactly what he is doing. If you are in need of a friend, I AM HERE.

THANKS to my family and friends who were "present" during that time. - GET it, girll 💛

Introspect. Reflect. Change.

See life has a funny way of humbling us all. We all see life as an unfair experience, but isn't it unfair to us all? Doesn't that make it fair? Each year we reflect on what our past has shown and taught us but do we really learn? We place focus on goals that do not contribute to overall growth. We make resolutions to be happy, to lose weight, etc. but how many times do our resolutions involve something selfless? Something that benefits the next person? [For the year 2019, I made a couple of resolutions but none involved self-centered acts, hopefully, I get to share them.] This is how it should be, try to help others in hopes of restoring humanity. Do not wait for a tragedy to strike before we become selfless, stop awaiting a wakeup call. We do not have to wait on life to humble us, instead, one person can open the eyes, minds, and hearts of another and pass the love on.

Don't bleed on who didn't cut you

I saw a post stating, "If you never heal from what hurt you, you'll bleed on people who didn't cut you" and that has honestly touched the deepest part of my heart. So many of us get into a relationship after being broken into bits and pieces. Some of us are aware but still proceed knowing we have not healed then end up hurting ourselves, even more, hurting the next person. Some of us are unaware and figure it out when a problem arises in the relationship. Point is, we need to ensure we heal entirely before moving forward.

I remember after my first heartbreak I just wanted to move on. I was so focused on moving on and masking all my pain while dealing with the problem was the solution in healing from the pain. I got into a situation in which I had no business being in. I broke someone's heart because I was being reckless and to this day I have regrets. See sometimes pain feels so unbearable that we find something to distract us when we need everything but a distraction.

Find time to heal. Prevent further damage to yourself and even more to another person.

The dream is free, the hustle is sold separately

There is enough room for us all to shine. Want to start a journey but you are afraid that you would not get to where you envision because of your competitors? Take a trip to the supermarket, walk down the bread aisle. Look at the number of different bakeries that are represented. They all sell. Why? because everyone has their own preference. Everyone has something that makes them different. The same ingredients can yield completely different things. Follow your dreams!!

Talk to your parents, they seek your best interest.

Hi, you know how we were taught to live life with no regrets and live in the moment? Welllll there are some words that I need to say - your parents are your friends. I never thought parents understood my problems. I avoided important conversations with my parents and shared them with friends because I felt like friends would understand better. It took me growing up to see how much parents understand teenage troubles. Having a closer relationship with my parents could have kept me from ridiculous predicaments I carelessly entered.
Something about growing older and wiser that makes everything clearer. I wish I confided in my parents back then! If you are a teenager and you are reading this then best believe your parents are protecting you. Sometimes it is from making what seems like an irreversible mistake and other times something as sensitive as a heartbreak. Go ahead and seek your parent's advice; do not let your teenage ego create regrets for your adult life.

Bossy? Nah. STRONG.

Some attribute their qualities to their horoscope, others, to their personality. As for me, I always boldly own my personality and character. I am a very opinionated person who can become very invested in things and topics I am passionate about. Am I loud?
Wanting to perfect actions and execute thoughts in a specific order tends to be frowned upon. I'm not a perfectionist, but I do like to follow a certain "ritual". I will do and say what it takes to complete my tasks.
Am I bossy?
Truth? I am neither. Strong personalities protrudes through everything. It gives a person a natural leadership quality that gains followers easily. Especially when the person is a young goal-oriented woman, like myself. It is not uncommon to be considered loud when you're on a mission. Bringing forward a vision requires work and at times harshness, and that's okay.
Surround yourself with people that are not afraid to STAND out. Be "LOUD and BOSSY"! Fight for what you believe in. Be respectful but don't be SILENCED. When you're a woman with something to say, don't let the thoughts of others stop you. You might be what someone else needs to elevate.

Journey to Love

I got tired of letting me down; so I stood up, and picked myself up.


The pressure societal views can impose on women

As a child, the double standards between genders push the narrative that women have to be better at certain things than men to be considered a good female. You had to learn how to cook, clean and do household chores.

As you get older, the next form of pressure you undergo is the decision of young pregnancy or what society deems as a successful adolescence period. Young ladies are encouraged to go to school, better their studies, find a good paying job, find love, get married, then have kids. Determinedly, society places the pressure of doing it in this exact order. Women are objectified as "breeders" or as "The reproductive unit". This leads one to believe at a very young age that womanhood is associated with the household abilities to "take care" of the house and reproduce. Whenever a woman is not awarded the gift of pregnancy, they feel less. Whenever a woman decides having a child is not part of their agenda, they get ridiculed and belittled to a point where they feel guilty. But who says we have to follow a straight line and do what was told? Who says womanhood is determined but motherhood?

More than ever, as a young woman, another struggle is choosing between creating a family or furthering your studies. People stuff the idea of education down the throat of young exploring minds like there is one path to a happy life. As a child, I was obsessed with becoming a wife and mother. That seemed so ideal. I had my life planned out, become a wife at 23 and a mother at 28. This seemed like the golden ticket. Might I add that I also thought I'd be a millionaire at 23 (still not too late) but the point is, because of the sheltered misinformed culture where we are nutured, we grow with a naive thinking that black is black and white is white. We were thought to stay away from the grey area, and everyone in that area failed at life. So instead, teenage pregnancy, school dropouts, and other decisions that do not fit into the walls of society gets banished to the grey area. But let a grey area citizen rise, their story becomes a success story because they beat the "odds" and do not remain just another statistic. But who are we to determine what these odds are? Who are we to tell someone a certain path is wrong when there are people that followed it and the outcome was based on the individual?

Now that I'm older, I feel a fire to be successful. To be great. Although my fire is intrinsic, I still feel the pressure of society displayed in micro aggresional ways. Like hearing on the streets, "time to give your mother a grandchild" or "when you making?". Why is it so important to share knowledge on the use of MY reproductive system? Are you willing to help me provide a stable environment for that grandchild you're encouraging me to bear?

It is salient, that as a young woman, you choose the path that is for you. Want that baby before getting married? Okay. Fornication is the real sin. Want to get a job before going go college? Stack your cash. Don't want to go to college? Okay! Do you. There's no straight line nor is there a rule book on how life should be lived. We determine our fates and futures. Be who and what you want to.

Society places pressure on women to be submissive yet "strong". We are supposed to deal with menstruation, pregnancy, menopause and other daily hassles, yet still be the bearer of good news and positive energy. We do not get the opportunity to process heartbreaks without a man blaming our uterus. We cannot display sadness without being forced to smile. Our lives as women, are dictated before our birth.

As a woman, society pick, prick and tear apart the very things that make us individually beautiful. All women are supposed to be one way according to society. If you cannot do household tasks, YOU'RE NOT A WOMAN. Cannot conceive? YOU ARE NOT A WOMAN. But as a woman, I pose the question on what is womanhood? And as woman, I answer this question proudly. A woman is a force. A flame. A goal.

Can society stop pressuring women to have it all by a certain age and to act a certain way. We have personalities. We do not all fit into the same box. Some can outgrow the spaces they once occupied.

When you see a pregnant teen, know it takes two to tango and one to dance. Know that she is brave enough to say I engaged in an activity that have repercussions and I am responsible enough to own that. When you see a woman growing older without children, mind your business. She may have birth complications or preference. Either ways, not your business.

Stop forcing your perception of womanhood onto women. Your perception is not the reality. Keep your ideologies to yourself.

Dear women, you are who you are and can become who you want to be. Never let someone perception of you change the way you see yourself. Never let society's standard determine the choices you make that are best for you. We are all living, which means it's always trial and error. Applaud every successful attempt and dont beat yourself up when someone else is unsatisfied. You have a purpose and you decide your fate.

📸: amagicwor_l_d

Compliments to Kerryne for bringing awareness to the unfairness spoken in the song..


Can love act like a fly and constantly circle me?!

Why is it that most women can't say their first love is their final? Even if he is their final, he really put her through enough to tell a story of a lifetime. Why is it so? Why is there twice as much baby mothers as there are wives? Is it that females have to prove they are "worthy" of a man?
What ever happened to love at first sight along with CONSISTENCY?
Why do men like the thought of "RIDE OR DIE"? Because they want the cliché of having someone who stuck through thick and thin. They want someone who sits by while they entertain everyone else and return fully committed to you when they think they're ready to settle down.
Dear ladies, don't settle for being a ride or die (in ride or die, someone rides and some dies). Why be the anchor for the boat (the man)? When you can be matching cruise ships with a REAL man?
Come on now!! We have to level up and NEVER forget to - get it, girllllll. ❤


Paying my debts

A new meaning to Forgiveness

We always hear and discuss forgiving others more than forgiving ourselves. We are encouraged to forgive and forget, but who really suffers?
I can vividly recall going through a patch that made me feel worthless. My value depreciated while my self-respect evaporated. I was alone with my thoughts of unworthiness. But there came a time when my true value reappeared. In that moment I was already beaten and battered, mentally. But for whatever reason, I wanted out. Out of that mental prison. But in order to escape, I had to understand what was keeping me trapped. Forgiveness was my simple answer.
Momentarily, forgiveness felt like a breeze. I thought I would forgive the person and move on. Though that pushed me forward, it was not enough to leave my prison. I carried on for months, still unaware of what was keeping me trapped.
The answer did not come like others. It was not a "solve for" equation. But more of a quest/ journey to peace. This answer was the same forgiveness, however, it was forgiveness of oneself. I had to forgive myself, and that was indeed one of the hardest journeys I've had to endure thus far.
Forgiving yourself is truly no joke. I had to thoroughly think that decision through. What was I forgiving myself for? For being stupid or being human? It was difficult getting the answers to those questions. Was I stupid? Was I being naive? Was my kindness taken for weakness? Was my decision influenced by some other alternative? Or was that just a teaching moment from life?
I honestly think there's some truth to every asked question, but the beauty was in the results.
The journey to self forgiveness is a tough one. There are no right/wrong questions and answers you can phrase. You just have to be truthful and open with yourself. My answers may not be your answers and my journey may not be the path you trod. The goal is to restore what was taken, misplaced or lost. And that is the beauty of self forgiveness.

How I keep on top of my game?

By sticking to a schedule

What do I have near my bed?

I grew to understand the importance of writing down thoughts. Hence the notepad/ journal. Do not underestimate your brain's ability to think of the best ideas while you're not trying to. I write whatever it is in that notepad. I will definitely be getting a new one for this year.

Next, my bible. Before leaving the bed, I try to read 10 verses of the bible. This is a new journey and I am really counting on reading both testaments by the year's end.

Thirdly, Ginko plex. This is a dietary and herbal supplement for health. The main components are the B vitamins. Perfect for those late nights/ all-nighters.

Then my headphones, speakers and stationary. I use my headphones mainly at night to avoid disturbing anyone else's peace. The speakers, throughout the day and at times at night (particularly when listening meditation sounds).

Lastly, laptop for assignments, blog posts, etc. The hand sanitizer rarely gets used (washing hands is always preferred).

This post is to encourage planting your staples near your personal space. The point of these staples is to help you achieve your goals. I challenge you to read the bible or pray more often. You can and you will.

Corona's Life Lessons

How has the Coronavirus impacted and changed our lives? How we stay safe?

Is the Corona Virus a hoax?

Growing in the Caribbean, particularly Grenada, we do not take threats lightly. As a Grenadian, we know the importance of taking preventative measures and "stocking up" on groceries every time we hear hurricane. So now we heard of the Corona Virus outbreak, and don't you for one moment think we are going to turn a blind eye. You are not going to catch us slipping; some people may not even sleep, but that is another story. Below I listed measures we are encouraged to take to decrease the likelihood of contracting that virus.

Firstly, you can choose which approach you'd like to take (either natural or pharmaceutical).

-The obvious ones:
*Wash hands
*Keep a sanitizer on deck
*Avoid touching M.E.N (Mouth, Eyes, and nose)
*Stay hydrated

-Vitamin C or Fruits rich in Vitamin C
Everyone has a preference, possibly depending on their socialization, choose yours.

-Tea (The Caribbean way - not teabags)
I listened to a calling program during the week, and I heard a doctor mentioned Turmeric (locally known as saffron - there is actually a difference though), ginger, and cinnamon tea as good boosters for your immune system.
I usually drink a blend of ginger and Turmeric tea, occasionally, to "break the gas". So I took it to this platform to share recipes that can be easily made at home. Now you can choose to use either sugar or honey (none is also an option).

In The Kitchen With Lex

Someone said tasty delights for affordable prices?!

Here you can find foods to treat/trick your boo/parents/kid/friend. Both regular and healthy alternatives will be available. If you do not want to cook regularly, avoid these recipes! It'll have people requesting more. Welcome to the lab.

Mango smoothie

If you are on a diet and you're looking for a quick, on the go, two steps process then you've come to the right blog.

This mango smoothie was a creative way of incorporating an available fruit and my current diet/lifestyle.

Mango (diced or chopped)
Ice (cubed or crushed)
Sugar or honey (optional)
Water or orange juice

Place all ingredients in a blender and pulse; remove when ingredients are dissolved and are mixed completely. The orange juice does a great job at extracting the juices from the mango. Serve.

More recipes will posted. Join in with me on my weightloss journey. I've attempted this journey for nymerousous 5imes but my lack of consistency always result in nothingness.

📸: @mo_unique (first person I introduced to this refreshing drink)

Seamoss for health

I know many people can attest to tasting or knowing seamoss. Most people know it as a milk drink (which is what i really likeeee). I'm going to post how to achieve the milk drink of course,but, I'll post how to turn the dry, brittle seamoss into a smooth, thick gel. I'll add pictures on the link at the bottom. Additionally, the benefits will be added in the link.

To make the seamoss gel:
- In an airtight container, completely submerge some seamoss into water.
- Squeeze a lime into the water (optional)
- Cover with an airtight lid.
- Leave seamoss in the container overnight.
- The next day, pour seamoss in a pot with bay leaf, cinnamon and any other spices you choose to use.
- Bring to a boil, and turn off the burner once the seamoss strands have completely dissolved.
-Leave the gel to cool, then you can refrigerate, and use as you desire.

NB: Seamoss can be consumed as a tea, smoothie, or capsule. Follow the link to get to the benefits of drinking seamoss tea/liquid. I have never tried it, but after extensive research, I am going to. I saw the importance to shed light on this. Normally, we drink the smoothie without knowing the impact and effects it causes. Now, being educated on the iodine present in this straw-like plant, I feel inclined to try it out.

For milk drink:
-seamoss gel
-crushed/cubed ice
-condensed milk
-nutmeg (optional)
-Angustura Bitters (optional)

- Place all ingredients in a blender and pulse repeatedly.
- Select the highest speed on the blender to achieve a smooth consistency.

As usual, taste to know if it is to your preference. Add water to dilute and milk to sweeten.


Link to my Instagram post with before and after pictures of the seamoss

Turnovers anyone?

The dish pictured is known as turnover in Grenada, not sure for other places. However, in Trinidad it is called Flakey Coconut Rolly and in Guyana, Guyanese Salara. This is a sweet dessert that is bursting with flavors as the filling is enticed with spices.

How can you, like me, achieve such perfection? (The turnover pictured here is a before picture)

Read below

Dough making:
This is a pretty simple step, I tried to ensure the ingredients were easily accessible and convenient.

Rolling pin
Measuring equipment

Salted Butter
Ice water

- Gather all your ingredients for your dough.
- measure the flour and butter using the measuring equipment you assembled.
-Equal parts of butter and flour should be used. Therefore, if you use 5C of flour then use 1.25 lbs of butter
-use the fork to mix in butter with flour.
-when the mixture starts resembling moist breadcrumbs, it is time to add in the water.
-Add ice water to the mix. (Ice water keeps the butter solid which avoids the dough from colapsing)
-Use your fingertips to knead and avoid using the palm of your hands. (Your palms might produce heat that can melt the butter)
- knead into a dough. If the mixture is runny, add flour and vice versa.
- Use cling wrap or wax paper to wrap the dough.
- Refrigerate dough. (You can leave it in the fridge for as long as you choose, usually 15 minutes sets it perfectly. Or, you can place it there until your filling mixture is prepared).


-wooden spoon

-grated coconut
-cinnamon sticks
-bay leaf
- cherry essence
- sugar

- Place saucepan on lit stove.
- Pour water, and spices.
- Allow this concoction to simmer.
- Add essence.
- Stir mixture occasionally
- Allow a syrup like consistency for the filling ( there's a syrup recipe on a previous post).
- Add coconut flakes.
- Keep stirring until the coconut flakes are fully coated.
- The mixture should be dewy .
(Usually, red food coloring is added to the mixture. I didn't have red, and blue/green seemed too off to use. So I went ahead and used cherry essence to give the red color. It is not as powerful as the food coloring, but it works.)

Now, leave the mixture to cool.

Preheat the oven right before removing the dough from the fridge.

After the mixture is cool, remove the dough from the fridge and get to kneading. Knead the dough just for a few seconds. Flour your countertop or wherever you roll dough. Flour your rolling pin. Place the dough on the countertop and start rolling. Roll away from yourself and turn dough accordingly. The completed rolled dough should be the same thickness throughout. Pour filling mixture all over one side of the dough. Spread evenly. After, roll dough in the shape of a log, ensure it is tightly tucked in. Coat with eggwash/ a sugar+water mixture.

Now there are two options.
1. Bake the turnover in the long log form you rolled it into


2. Slice the log shape evenly. The slices should leave multilayered circles.

To bake:
Line baking pan with wax/grease proof paper. Lightly flour the paper. Place the log/ circles onto the paper in the pan. Place baking pan into the oven and let bake for 30 minutes. Adjust heat based on the intensity of your stove. I set my oven on 350°. Check on turnover, you are trying to achieve an amber brown, with properly cooked insides. Once this is achieved, remove dough from the oven and leave to cool on a cooling rack. (Once cool, if you baked it as a long then go ahead and cut to your preference. If baked as circles, go ahead and bite into one of your turnovers.)

You successfully baked a turnover!!!!

Fluffy Apple flavored Pancakes with apple syrup and chunks

Firstly let's talk making the batter

How did I achieve this? Read below (I must say I am very "CARIBBEAN" with my measurement. Pour until your ancestors tell you to stop loool!

1. Flour (You can use which ever you prefer)
2. Baking Powder
3. Salt
4. Sugar
5. Egg
6. Melted butter/ Oil/ Pam
7. Milk
8. Apple juice (if you dare)

Frying pan

Process: (3 steps)
- Mix flour, baking powder, salt, and sugar in a bowl.
- Add the liquid ingredients to the mix and whisk into a batter. (Pay attention to the consistency of the batter, it should be "nappe" which means coat the back of the spoon).
- Heat frying pan (to your preferred degrees, I usually set mine to the lowest).
- Grease pan with butter/ oil or spray with Pam.
- Add a spoon of batter to the heated pan.
- Wait until the side is a golden brown color then flip pancake to the next side.
- Remove from pan and your first pancake is ready.

Secondly, the apple syrup.

1 apple
1 Bay leaf
Pinch of nutmeg
1 cinnamon stick
2 tbsp sugar

Sauce pan
Wooden spoon
Cutting board and knife

There are many ways to make a simple syrup. However, I dumped all the ingredients in the pan and watched as the process of reduction gave me the desired consistency.
- Place all the ingredients into the sauce pan
- Set on medium heat and be patient
- Remove once it becomes thick and sticky like a syrup. (Similar to molasses)

Finished product:
Golden brown fluffy apple pancakes with apple syrup

Things I should have done that you can do:
Add nutmeg to the batter
Puree half of the apple so you can get a thickkk syrup with chunks
Peel the apple.

Apple × Papaya Honey drizzled smoothie

Wait, what?! Ha. Indeed
I opted for something healthy to drink with the banana oatmeal pancakes.

3/4 of AN Apple diced
A piece of papaya (locally called Pawpaw) diced
Ice cubes

How to make:
-Add everything into the blender and pulse, pulse, pulse.
-Select a high speed and leave to blend.
-Remove from the blender and taste (if it is bland, add some honey, if not then you have just created your first of many smoothies).
-Use the 1/4 of the apple and slice as a garnish.

Banana Oatmeal Pancake? Yes please!

Steps to make this healthy alternative to traditional pancake:

Preparation of the batter:
Cutting board and knife

1 banana (try using a banana that is darker so the natural sugars will sweeten the batter)
Oats (you can choose whichever oats you prefer)
Baking soda
1 egg
Salt (to taste)
Pinch of nutmeg/ ground cinnamon

1. Big dice bananas and puree (try to get a consistency that has chunks, therefore do not blend too much).
2. Remove some of the banana for your syrup.
3. Add the Oatmeal, baking soda, egg, and salt to the blender and pulse. (pulse is the option on a blender to achieve the chunks).
If it is too thin then add some oats, if it is too thick then add almond milk.

Heat frying pan (to your preferred degrees, I usually set mine to the lowest).
- Grease pan with butter/ oil or spray with Pam.
- Add a spoon of batter to the heated pan.
- Wait until the side is a golden brown color then flip pancake to the next side.
- Remove from pan and your first pancake is ready.

For the syrup:
Wooden spoon

Bay leaf

Steps for banana syrup:
1. Add water, cinnamon, and bay leaf into the pot.
2. Add sugar and pureed bananas.
3. Leave to simmer until the mixture becomes thick and sticky.
4: Pour onto the pancake and serve.

You can choose to leave the banana chunks in the syrup or remove; either way, the syrup would have absorbed the banana flavor.

Below is a link to the original recipe on Youtube.

Hairstyles by Lex

Scroll to see DIY hairstyles you can try.

Synthetic wig with a natural look? Hell yes!

One thing about me is I love upcycling. This is an old synthetic wig that I washed and added in a leave-in conditioner.
To achieve the style:

Wig making:
You can purchase any kinky curly weave (synthetic or not) and sew it to a wig cap. The pattern of sewing is not important, just ensure the weft is flat and secured. (You can add combs and/ or an adjustable band for security)

Wig installation: (you can do it anyhow you choose, I'm describing how I did it)

Step 1: comb your hair in a bun in the back. Try to ensure the bun is the smallest it could be, do that by adding rubber bands or scrunchies to tighten the bun.

Step 2: Start the process of a sleek bun. Get your gel, edge booster, wax or whatever edge control you use to achieve a sleek look.

Step 3: Add the wig. If you did not add combs to the wig or an adjustable band then the ultimate trick is hairclips (that's what I used). Position the wig on your head and secure it. Place no less than 4 hair clips - one for each side. Then you can go in and check the perimeter of the wig for any spaces that may cause your wig to lift up/ fall. (No one wants that type of embarrassment).

Step 4: fluff your wig using your fingers and ensure the frame is what you want. Here you can trim, detangle, fluff with an afro comb or your hands and do whatever you'd like to get the look.

Step 5: Do your edges. This step is optional. The edges definitely make the hairstyle look natural.
You can add hair accessories like jewels, hair ties and headbands to pop your look/ fit. Then take a few bomb pics in some natural lighting.

Save your coins while looking good and feeling comfortable. You'll also be wearing a great protective style.

If you ever try any of the styles I post, feel free to hashtag #hairstylesbyLex


Product review

The pictures are on my ig account. Click the link at the bottom.

1st - Suave shampoo and conditioner
2nd and 3rd- results from shampoo
4th and 5th- results from conditioner
6th- Creme of Nature shampoo

Product review:

So I tried the Suave essentials shampoo at first after saturating my hair in water and boy oh boy!!!! First of all, this shampoo lathers so good and makes the wash process fun. However, that was not the highlight of using this product. This is the first time I've washed my hair and felt it being so clean after. My scalp was screaming thank you for a much needed cleanse. My hair strands felt rich and strong and I am so shook. Now onto the conditioner, at first I was unimpressed because it took several squeezes to get the right amount of slippage but when I got it...damnnnn. Again, shoooooook. It defined my curls so well. Hair felt like velvet and the smell. The frigging smell...sheesh. Unbelievable. Another first was the softness of my hair even after it was dried. Incredible. Usually, creme of nature shampoo or vo5 is my go to. But today I tried this and I am astonished at this product. It costed $7 (I think) in a local shop. Really worth the try. The creme of nature shampoo is a moisturizing shampoo that works wonders and gives DEFINITION. However the conditioner is dull and weakens the combo effect.
Try the suave essentials and let me know how your hair feels. Going to try a different flavor to see if that has a part to play with the remarkable results.