Welcome!

A little about us

Hello!

We’re Jess and Trafenia, your hosts! Welcome to Why Does No One Tell You where we talk about all the things no one told us that we’re learning as we go along through first-time momhood.

We started this podcast because we’ve been learning a lot of things that no one has told us about in preparation for being a mom. So many times we’ve been talking with friends where someone (including ourselves) ends up asking “Why does no one tell you that??” So we’re here to uncover all the things no one is talking about that we’re experiencing first hand.

We look forward to sharing our experiences and reminding you that you’re not alone!

More about your hosts:
Hi, I’m Jess! I’m from Pennsylvania but studied music education at a university in Florida. After graduation, I stayed in Florida where I began my career and eventually met my husband. My husband and I have been married for 3 years and now have the sweetest baby boy! I chose to leave my job and stay home when I had my son, and I’m living my best life!

Hey, I’m Trafenia! I have a 9 month old son and just celebrated my 9 year wedding anniversary. I love reading, gardening, and chatting with friends. My passion is leading my business, Sittadel, a cybersecurity firm that specializes in walking alongside a business in their cybersecurity journey. It has been a wild ride and one that has been full of self discovery.

Apps

First-Time Mom Favorites

These are apps we’ve found that we love!

Trafenia’s #1 Pick

Yes, Walmart is my favorite app! Between leading my business and being a mom, this app makes it easy for me to do the groceries and buy things we need while staying in budget. I can do all my shopping from home or wherever I am, then drive to the store and they’ll put it all in the car for me. A real time saver!

Jess’s #1 Pick

I am a very organized person, but I’m also forgetful. Mom fog is a very real thing, and Huckleberry has been a life saver for me to keep track of my son’s needs. It’s customizable, so you can choose how much you log at first and change it over time. You can time sleep, set reminders for the next feeding and diaper change, add pictures for documenting solid foods, and even track medications and temperature checks. When my son gets fussy, I look at the app to see what he may need. It has helped me so much!

Jess’s #2 Pick

This is one of my favorite apps! It helps to keep my out-of-state family up to date with my son, and helps them to feel involved. My favorite part is that it’s super secure and invite-only. Each person needs their own non-shareable link and can only access it for a certain amount of time before the link doesn’t work anymore.

Jess and Trafenia’s Pick

We both love this app because you can search foods and know how to prepare them for your baby based on their age. Trafenia paid for full access to the app so she could track and save foods she’s given to her son. Jess uses the free version just to search and know how to prepare the foods.

Jess and Trafenia’s Pick

We both used Babylist to build our registries. We like it because you can add whatever you want from anywhere you want as opposed to being limited to a certain store and what they have to offer. It shows you what’s been bought and who bought it which makes it easier to do thank you’s later. You can also choose whether or not to reveal the gifts before you receive them.

Trafenia’s Pick

I use this mainly for the white noise machine. White noise is VERY helpful for your baby to sleep.

Jess’s Pick

My husband and I did a lot of trial and error with diapers for our son, but we finally found Hello Bello and will never turn back. We were buying Hello Bello from the store, but they were often sold out of the size we needed. We opted to start their subscription and LOVE it! It comes with 7 packs of diapers, 4 packs of wipes, special discounts, and occasional freebies. You can also adjust how often you receive them and choose your own patterns, which is my favorite part. The app makes it easy to manage all of that!

Jess’s Pick

This app is amazing! It’s $4.99, but it’s worth every penny. I never buy apps, so that should tell you how valuable I find it to be, haha! It walks you through the developmental leaps your child experiences as they grow and gives you steps to take to help them learn. It gives you signals of when and how to know your child is going through a leap, but it also gives you ideas for play to help them learn their world. I also love that they give you lists of milestones that your child will reach over time.

Jess’s Pick

When I learned that I couldn’t use regular cleaning supplies while I was pregnant because they are harmful for baby and me to breathe in, I decided to switch to a non-toxic home. Think Dirty helps me to choose better products for the home and for myself. They have everything from baby products to cosmetics to household products. You can pay for a subscription, but the free version is good enough for what I need. I can scan a product and it will rate it from 0-10, 0 being the best and 10 being the worst.

Jess’s Pick

Yuka is another app that helps me choose healthier products! They do cosmetics and some household products, but they also do food! They rate their products out of 100 with 0 being the worst and 100 being the best.

These are not affiliate links. We do not receive any commissions from these apps.

Books

First-Time Mom Favorites

These are books we recommend for your first-time mom journey.

Jess and Trafenia’s Pick

Author: Cynthia Gabriel

This book is an excellent guide to knowing what to expect from hospital births but also how to advocate for what you want out of the experience. It walks you through writing a birthing plan, figuring out how to manage guests and family, takes you through the labor process from first contraction to baby coming out, and so much more!

Buy the book!

Jess and Trafenia’s Pick

Authors: Laura Hunter and Jennifer Walker

This is more of an as-needed “I need help with this so let me jump to that page” kind of book. The authors are both experienced nurses and give you schedules for sleep based on your baby’s age in addition to medical things to be aware of and other baby things to expect out of the first 6 months. They also have a book for 6-15 months and toddlers.

Buy the book!

Jess’s #1 Pick

Authors: Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

Most people don’t respect other people’s boundaries, and the rest don’t know how to set them. This book is so helpful with learning what types of boundaries exist and how to set them. It puts into perspective what is healthy and acceptable and shows you which areas of your life may need boundaries put in place or the removal of them.

Buy the book!

Trafenia’s #1 Pick

Author: John Mark Comer

This book is a must for anyone who needs to re-evaluate their perspective; that to go fast, we need to go slow and take a rest. Hurrying will prevent you from really enjoying those precious moments.

Buy the book!

Trafenia’s #2 Pick

Author: Heng Ou

In western culture, it is praised to go back to work quickly after having a little one. This book dives into old recipes and celebrates the “4th trimester” between baby and mother.

Buy the book!

These are not affiliate links. We do not make any commissions off sales made.

First-Time Mom Favorites

Toys

Here are links to our favorite toys for our kids!

  1. Object Permanence Box

    Object Permanence Box

    $34.99
    Recommended Ages 6M+

Disclaimer

The information provided, including but not limited to, recordings, videos, text, graphics, images, and other material (“Content”) in and on this podcast, is for informational and educational uses only and does not substitute for professional medical advice. We are not, nor are we holding ourselves out to be doctors/physicians, nurses, physician's assistants, advanced practice nurses, or any other medical professionals ("Medical Provider"), psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, counselors, or social workers ("Mental Health Provider"), or registered dietitians or licensed nutritionists. Always consult your or your child’s physician, medical professional, or other qualified healthcare provider if you’re seeking medical advice regarding a medical condition, diagnosis, treatment, or concern or before acting upon any information acquired through this podcast. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard or read on this podcast. We are not liable for risks or issues associated with using or acting upon information from this podcast.

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